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Every person, and every couple, has/have different approaches when (re)entering the dating scene (and yes, encounters are 'dates'--planned time with others). Your approach is as valid as the next. That said, " Intimacy without attraction defeats part of fantasy that we are just exploring, physical attraction doesn’t guarantee compatibility. We don’t even read profiles if the picture doesn’t strike us, we hope our picture attracts like searchers." Physical attraction might begin with appearance but for most people also includes how people present themselves, carry themselves, look after themselves. Profiles (and their photos) are a calling card, an opportunity to make a first impression. That first impression may or may not be borne out. We have met couples whose profile photos are 10 years old and bear little resemblance to current size, shape, appearance. We have also met handsome and fit couples who choose to obscure their appearance on profiles precisely because they think compatibility and interest lie begins with "who they are" and not what they look like.

Congrats on taking the step. One thing I might comment on -- when my wife and I got started and were seeking our first experience, we also wanted others who were new to the lifestyle, believing in some way this common ground would make the first encounter more of a natural progression. What we ended up with was a lot of time wasters who would get cold feet when it came time to meet. Ultimately we opened our search to more seasoned lifestylers and this led to things actually moving along and it was less awkward being able to follow their lead. It didn't go perfectly, but it was a good experience overall and let us know we enjoyed swinging and desired to keep doing it. Good luck to you

We took the next step by paying to explore profiles on a popular site giving us the opportunity to find those we are attracted to. We put in parameters of age range and distance, straight men and women then we added curious women. I am only littlest slightly curious with my curiosity happening only because of media and reading articles. If we meet a match we want them as nervous as us, cautious too. Searching starts with the profile picture. We couldn’t meet those that we aren’t physically attracted to even though we know this limits and will cause us to skip some great people. Intimacy without attraction defeats part of fantasy that we are just exploring, physical attraction doesn’t guarantee compatibility. We don’t even read profiles if the picture doesn’t strike us, we hope our picture attracts like searchers. We set the bar high, higher than our own profile, possibly too high, possibly making it our defense of not rushing into the unknown. I look for normal average, 5’10-6’2” 175-195, fit not muscular. His attraction is also fit 5’-5’7” not busty, I put his likes to small C and smaller with smaller emphasized. Our profile pictures are limited to smart dressed vacation picture and a bathing suit picture. Before meeting my husband I was on dating sights and used the same criteria in my searches when looking for love even if love wasn’t there. I often wondered if I would sleep with him before getting to know him which led to a few one timers.

It's easy. When you get into the 'negotiation' phase - you'll recognize it - just tell them. Expect some couples to say thanks-but-no-thanks, others will be excited for the unicorn vibe. Single men (if they're allowed) will be all over you.

Super hot. I love this approach-- very mature and responsible way to have incredible sexy times. Six for sex is an awesome number--especially with total freedom.

Never thought about this as a gangbang in the true sense as it happened years ago in high school where a girl we all knew was screwing many guys at different times took one of my friends back to her parents apartment after school. Guys talk and the one guy told another guy to give him a half hour then come to the apartment. The word got out and a friend of mine coaxed me to go to the apartment too. By the time I got there I don’t know how many guys she was with before I got my 3 minutes. I remember seeing an empty box that had a dozen condoms when new. Over the next week it felt like most of the guys I knew said they were there. What amazed me looking back the girl came to school the next day. I still wonder how she was able to walk after those hours of plowing.

We decided before we got into swinging that we would *always* use condoms. First for birth control - she was in the early stages of menopause at the time - and for prevention of STDs. We never forgot that rule. With one very regular couple, we decided to forego that rule, but we all trusted each other not to break our rule with other people. Those that would only play bareback with us (there were a few,) just didn't play with us. Period. I'm not criticizing those who choose to play bareback, it's your life, literally. And if you start with that rule and then change it after sober talk in a non-sexual situation, that's cool. But, to me, just deciding in the heat of the moment to break the rule is a bit irresponsible.