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We took the next step by paying to explore profiles on a popular site giving us the opportunity to find those we are attracted to. We put in parameters of age range and distance, straight men and women then we added curious women. I am only littlest slightly curious with my curiosity happening only because of media and reading articles. If we meet a match we want them as nervous as us, cautious too. Searching starts with the profile picture. We couldn’t meet those that we aren’t physically attracted to even though we know this limits and will cause us to skip some great people. Intimacy without attraction defeats part of fantasy that we are just exploring, physical attraction doesn’t guarantee compatibility. We don’t even read profiles if the picture doesn’t strike us, we hope our picture attracts like searchers. We set the bar high, higher than our own profile, possibly too high, possibly making it our defense of not rushing into the unknown. I look for normal average, 5’10-6’2” 175-195, fit not muscular. His attraction is also fit 5’-5’7” not busty, I put his likes to small C and smaller with smaller emphasized. Our profile pictures are limited to smart dressed vacation picture and a bathing suit picture. Before meeting my husband I was on dating sights and used the same criteria in my searches when looking for love even if love wasn’t there. I often wondered if I would sleep with him before getting to know him which led to a few one timers.

Well I killed the idea of my GF being the "entertainment" for the whole group. I had too many questions about the guest list and it seemed a little dicey for a bachelor party. If this was a small divorce party or birthday party where I knew who and how many people were going to be there where I controlled it all I would have felt more comfortable. But that wasn't the case so I had to put a lid on the whole thing. However, it didn't end there... We went to dinner, a cigar lounge, and then finished the night up at a strip club. After awhile at the strip club guys started to dodge out as the night went on. I was texting with my GF throughout the night and I was talking to two of the guys there about my GF, one of which had sex with her before. It was clear what they were angling for. I texted my GF if she wanted me to bring back some company and of course she said yes. I told them who the guys were and she said she'll get ready. We were all different levels of drunk so we dodged out splitting an Uber and headed back to my place. My GF greeted us at the door in lingerie and things moved along quickly. It was a fun time and lasted maybe 4 hours. We finished up around 7:30 and then went to get breakfast. It was a rough next day but a great memory.

Just like pussy hair, armpit hair is soft, attractive, and feminine when it has grown out. That's me. I like the "lithe, athletic" description better than "flat, scrawny." I'm also enthusiastic.

Petra, I have had a great woman friend for many decades. Forty years ago she broke up with her longtime partner (also a longtime friend of mine). She and I tumbled into a very affectionate FWB relationship. She had a really hairy pussy and a fair bit of hair in her armpits. She also had a lithe, athletic body and was an enthusiastic sexual partner. I found her very visually attractive, including her hirsute vulva and armpits. Twenty years ago, when she was in her early 50s, she and her husband asked me to do some art nudes of her. (He was present for the shoot.) On her bedside table is a discrete one, framed and signed by me. In the photo she’s sitting on the porch floor with her knees pulled up so her nipples and most of the rest of her boobs are covered, but it’s clear she’s nude. Her two daughters, now adults but the adolescents, know me. She said neither of them ever inquired as to how that photo came to be.

I know this is a very old thread so my response is not for the OP since she appears to have concluded it was accidental. My comment is more for the general public. I have a buddy who showed me a picture from his first experience with another couple. It was an awesome photo. Yes, his sharing the photo was approved by all involved (and no faces were visible anyway). It was him standing on the edge of the bed, two women laid across the bed, he has one hand on the head of each women and they were licking him. Very, very sexy. My buddy is a stud. Never had an issue with stamina. Young (early 30s at the time), in crazy shape, handsome, educated...like I said, he's a stud. He told me that his encounter started with his wife and the other woman playing together. One eating the other, then switched, then a 69...."It was so amazing" he said with a ear-to-ear grin. Then the two ladies crawled naked over to him, looked at each other, kissed and then started licking his shaft at the same time. That's when the other husband took the photo. He said about 20 seconds after the photo was taken he blew his load. "I went from 0-10 instantly. My cock just started pumping". He shot cum all over the other wife's face, hit her in the eye, in her hair. His wife grabbed his shaft after a couple shots and put it in her mouth to stop the carnage. He said he was mortified. The other wife sat up onto her knees, his cum all over her face, in her hair. She was surprised. His wife was stunned he came instantly. The other husband standing on the other side of the bed looking at him. His cock went limp. The room was silent. Neither woman took his cock in her mouth. It was only licking of the side of the shaft, not even the head. "For some reason, I just came" he said. "I didn't feel all amped up, but I just started cumming". I don't think women really understand how temperamental a man's cock is. It can show up for no reason. It can fail to show when needed. Sometimes it goes away right in the middle of action. It can cum instantly or not at all. The dang thing is predictable....until it isn't. Us guys never know when it's going to act up. It's that terrible girlfriend/boyfriend you had in your early dating years. Great occasionally, terrible sometimes, so amazing occasionally that you put up with the roller coaster...and you never knew what you were going to get on any given day. So reading the original post, it was blatantly obvious that the guy cumming in her mouth was unexpected. On a side note.... That is very sexy.

If I let a guy into my mouth, pussy or bum, I expect him to ejaculate in me at some point. It's natural, and to a large degree, uncontrollable. The guys I've been with don't want to pull out in the moment, they push in.

This post is four years old and the author appears (sadly) to be long gone from this board. But it’s full of excellent advice on how to shoot a sex video. (Though unfortunately not the all-important editing step.) I made my first sex video in 1978 (yep 45 years ago) while in grad school. My girlfriend and I borrowed the (no windows, lockable door) lab of my professor friend and set up on a tripod the camera on his B&W $5,000 ($23,500 2023 dollars) taping system. We stripped, she lay down on the sofa and I fucked her. Then I got up, shut off the camera and extracted the tape cassette. Making the video was hotter than watching it. Which we could only do in the lab 🙄😂 And meeting after we broke up to erase the tape was both sad and tense. No, we did not watch its again, just for old time’s sake. I’ve done plenty of erotic/sex still photography and some video in the ensuing years, including with my current wife. The ones of us make nice mementos. When it comes to making photos or videos that others will enjoy, it’s way harder than it looks, both shooting (and most critically) editing the raw (pun intended) material. To those contemplating making a video to post or otherwise share, my observation is that you can have great sex making a mediocre video or you can have not-very-good sex while shooting a potentially very good video. Same for a still photo shoot.

There's a number of interesting points raised here. Physical attraction is important, but so is attraction in a number of other ways. It's really what you need and want that is important. Your stated criteria might be limiting, but it might not limit your opportunities. I think that depends on where you live/play. If you're in the middle of nowhere, with the first sizable (say, over 100k) town being three hours away, your criteria may result in nothing. If you live in a major city, your criteria might yield a thousand potential matches. As with anything, it's a balance to get to what you want. I don't see anything problematic with your approach, so long as it gets you the result you want. Obviously you won't know until you try. But in anticipation of that, you and you husband can consider different scenarios, think out different questions, and go deep into you desires and fantasies. If you do thin in AND out of the bedroom, it will help you along the way to understand yourselves better before actually playing with another couple. I had no idea if I would like seeing my wife have sex with someone else. When I was ~20, I was a pretty jealous person, to the point that I was bothered by my then girlfriend seeing a male gynecologist! Over the years since then, I've learned what a negative emotion jealousy really is; it's 99% bad and 1% good. Once we got into swinging, I didn't dislike or really enjoy my wife having sex with others until our third time. That time, she couldn't get enough of the guy she was having sex with. She had an absolutely amazing time, and the delicious sounds coming from her were glorious. I found it intensely erotic, and have in the many years since then always enjoyed watching her having sex when she clearly was having a good time. I used to ponder the "why" of it. I can't figure out "why". I gave up trying to figure it out a long time ago. It's like, you're not supposed to enjoy it but ...wow! For my wife, she's ambivalent about me having sex with other women. She's happy for me that I am, and encourages it, but she doesn't get anything negative or positive from it. It could be that you will find it very arousing to see your husband having sex with another woman. You might have an emotionally negative reaction while having an intellectually positive reaction. Some couples are like that; they are happy to have their spouses have sex with someone else, but they don't want to see it. So, they play separate room. You might find you don't like it at all. It's hard to know. The same goes for your husband. If you're otherwise comfortable with the notion of swinging, I would encourage you to give it a try, but...make sure you and your husband are on the same page in that it's an experiment you are doing together. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. If it works for one and not the other, it doesn't work. You're together. It's a shared experience. It's ok if it doesn't work. Let us know how it all goes, whether you end up playing or not!

Every person, and every couple, has/have different approaches when (re)entering the dating scene (and yes, encounters are 'dates'--planned time with others). Your approach is as valid as the next. That said, " Intimacy without attraction defeats part of fantasy that we are just exploring, physical attraction doesn’t guarantee compatibility. We don’t even read profiles if the picture doesn’t strike us, we hope our picture attracts like searchers." Physical attraction might begin with appearance but for most people also includes how people present themselves, carry themselves, look after themselves. Profiles (and their photos) are a calling card, an opportunity to make a first impression. That first impression may or may not be borne out. We have met couples whose profile photos are 10 years old and bear little resemblance to current size, shape, appearance. We have also met handsome and fit couples who choose to obscure their appearance on profiles precisely because they think compatibility and interest lie begins with "who they are" and not what they look like.

That just might be us getting cold feet 😁. what draws us also scares us. I am trying to convince myself watching my love with another is fine, I just don’t know how I will react. I also worry how he will react. It has been a long time since I was with another guy and keep saying that when I do it’s just another guy.

My Mrs has changed the parameters on our search from 25-55 to 25-35 way below our real age. She is still reliving our recent meeting thinking that others that age will want her as well. I’m thinking that we were fortunate that our meeting went well while thinking others that age might have sinister thoughts. I am feeling my virility as well. I was able with the aid of pharmaceuticals to keep up, no pun, while I had the anxious feeling that I would be a failure. I can understand why an older woman wants a virile younger man and question the need of a younger woman wants an older man. I don’t think I want a woman twenty years my senior, why would a younger woman want me?

I noticed there are less and less surprises in the lifestyle. Things that surprised us just a short time ago now seem the norm. Just watching TV, commercials, movies we see the normalization of what was once shocking. My advice is take chances as long as you are comfortable, nobody knows your comfort level. Discuss with your partner both of your place of comfort. I found later in life that I had desires that i suppressed that I wish I explored earlier. The younger couple are exploring as you are, go along with your comfort.

I’m a little perplexed, why do you look to have sex with others if you have the perfect balance at home. You married for sex and you are happy with the sex you have with your husband. I’m missing your points on people being lazy and animal kingdom. You married to have sex with your husband for the rest of your life so what’s your problem with others looking for more than that?

That's why my wife said that she preferred and had relationships, may overlapping, with married men. They were grateful, both her and the husband knew what it was all about - a relationship that was not going anywhere - she wasn't looking to break up his marriage, he didn't want to leave his wife/family. Daniela likes our situation now in our closed group of married couples. She gets the satisfaction of being within another marriage with the wife's knowledge and bi participation. And the kink she never had before, knowing that her husband, me, is involved with other women.

The best quickies I ever had were early on when it was only me and the two guys. Red, who liked my fresh, would bend me over onto a table, pull my pants down, and do it while his hands would explore under my shirt. Hubby, who liked to watch, would follow doing the same thing. Five minutes and four orgasms among us.

Many swingers don’t understand that being alone with a sexual partner is one of most pleasurable activities for me. It is difficult for me to fully enjoy my partner if anyone including my husband is watching. Watching him with a woman has become a bit easier, not something I find myself needing to do.

I got a call from the widower this morning asking if I would meet him again tonight. Saturday night I with Michael with me told him I didn’t want a long term relationship with him, that I would be with him just that one time and that the reason I was on AM was just for that reason, nothing long term. He understood my reasoning, his joining that site was for the same reason, no long term complicated troubles. I have nothing negative to report on my time with him, quite the opposite it was a lovely time, almost perfect. I told him the only way I would meet again is if Michael can watch, they already met Saturday with just a checking out time. I assured him Michael is straight and not weird, he just likes to watch or if everyone agrees he will join.

I met another sexual partner on AM who was a perfect gentleman and registered his profile for another not typical reason, he is a widower. His wife died a few years ago from medical complications after a 25 year happy, monogamous marriage. It took him some time to re-enter the dating scene, meeting primarily divorcees who were looking for relationships, something he wasn’t interested in. He was honest in telling me he slept with a few of the women he met but they all became too needy. He joined Ashley though it is not cheap for men because he wanted to be with women that had no relationship expectations and were open to be their sexual selves. I was explicit with him that I am married and a swinger that is not cheating and wanted him to meet Michael before doing what we both wanted. I am pretty sure he thought I was an escort and Michael was my pimp even when we assured him I wasn’t looking for anything more.

Was this “date” more about him or you? Not a therapist here I just wonder if the lights on were for him to see your beauty as a woman not as a sex craving person. I’m thinking if you were meeting a married man for sex you would want a virile experienced man who would please you, not a man you had to give a biology lesson to. And you had him see you fully naked without comparison to any other woman.

Ashley Madison sounds interesting. I’m thinking it’s the safest place to find partners without the fear of attachment. I understand that it’s not swinging, it’s sex as others point out, is it just sex or is it something else that makes a man join and women search for married men. Is it really safer for both partners, or are random pickups safer?

When she was single, my now wife Daniela preferred and had (the best word is) "relationships" with many married men, often more than one at a time. She preferred married guys for a number of reasons: there were limits to the relationship (none of them wanted to leave their wife, regardless of what was said in the moment), they were particularly grateful, that they were fucking another woman - their wife - and Daniela would get them to talk about it and always arranged for him to "accidently" meet the wife (something of a kink of Daniela's), and there was no expectation that he would buy her anything, she hated that aspect of regular dating. When I first met Daniela we went out, then started having sex, we openly talked about our past. I got to the point quickly where I told her that I didn't need for her to be monogamous, but please no married men. She explained that she never broke up a marriage, she helped repair them and keep them together. She liked being the secret third in a marriage, the other woman, who tried to make him a better husband and provided him what was missing. Many gifts were bought, vacations taken, dinners enjoyed, but not with Daniela, with his wife. Daniela even bought and paid for gifts for the guy's wives for him to give her. Then Daniela wanted to hear all about it, how the relationship was going, including the sex. Meanwhile, Daniela gave him what he lacked, whether it was sex when there was little or none, to specific things that his wife just wouldn't do - ride him cowgirl, anal, blowjobs to completion, dirty talk. That's why my wife is so happy where we ended up in the lifestyle. After her hotwifing at first to get comfortable that marriage doesn't mean monogamy, then MFMs with me, we started to swing, but settled into swapping within a closed group of married couples. Now she can openly fuck a married guy in our group and talk directly with his wife, even play with her. (I've left out the bi aspect of my wife's past and current sex life, that's a whole other story.) Plus in her mind, Daniela gets to mind play with the fact that she is a married woman with other men in her life, and I am her husband with other women in my life. The whole purpose of this post is that I have come to understand, there are reasons that a woman wants to play, have a relationship with a married man, be his sidepiece. And it isn't necessarily wrong. Of all the married guys that Daniela had relationships with when she was single, only one wife suspected. She confronted Daniela at one of the arranged, "accidental" meetups. Daniela admitted to it, and wife told her that she must have a "golden pussy", then asked her to meet up for dinner. The wife never confronted the husband, the relationship continued for a while, then ended. But Daniela and the wife kept in pleasant contact for a while thereafter. The couple is still together. Strange. Daniela doesn't read much here on the Swingerboard, but she helped me with this post.

I agree with your Girl, you are over thinking it. Having said that I also believe you should change your view of one thing. Do not walk into this as a ready made gang bang. I used to work at a strip club and have done plenty of bachelor parties. Some involved sex, some did not. Some I just stripped, gave lap dances and did body shots. You will have to read the room when you get there. If the groom has any concerns that someone will inform his bride to be he won't accept more than a lap dance, I guarantee it.

Don't you just love it when that happens?

Well as far as my friends finding out and my GF's reputation of being a slut among our circle of friends that ship has already sailed. I had this conversation with my GF a long time ago when she was originally letting my friends take pictures and videos of her. I told her those were going to get passed around and they immediately did. She doesn't regret it and still does it and she says it turns her on. She is not a very discreet person and that is by choice. Does she have a slutty reputation among my friends? Yes. Does it turn her on? Yes. Does it bother me? Not really. It is something that can get discussed at lengths from time to time in social settings which can be annoying but is sometimes also hot when they share some of the stories about her. If the wife to be found out that wouldn't be good. I know her and that would immediately be the end of the wedding. However my GF's thought process is that just because she would be sexually available it doesn't mean the groom has to have sex with her. But I know my buddy and I have a gut feeling he is going to. Like I said this might work as part of some after party following the bachelor party with a small group of guys who are in the know but it's too risky in this setting.

I agree with you. The issue is the guest list and that it's tied to a friend's wedding. She compares it to other parties we've had like super bowl, birthday parties, etc. but the difference is we had more control over the guest list and everybody knew what to expect upon walking in. On the other hand she thinks it is OK because it is blessed by the groom's brother and he is the one who is technically in charge of the bachelor party. If the groom wasn't such a close friend and we didn't know the people well I would probably be much more willing to move forward but this complicates it too much for me. My GF did say that she can just strip and then there can be a more private after party with those who are interested in moving things further. It sounds fine but I'm not confident it will exactly work out that easily at a bachelor party as things can escalate right there. A better solution would be doing the bachelor party and then having some people from the party (who are in the know) come to an after party where my GF can entertain. I am not saying it is necessarily a good idea but it's probably the most reasonable option of them.

This is my biggest play fantasy and my wife has a similar one. Both of these are what have us talking more about going to a club. Firstly my wife gives incredible head mainly because she loves it. I think my fantasy started because I felt bad that I was the only one experiencing it, for the last 30 years anyway. My fantasy is we are at a club and we have met a guy we like, he's BBC. We chat for a while and I go for drinks. When I get back she is on his lap playing with his cock while he fingers her and sucks her tits. When she sees I'm back she kneels between his legs and sucks his cock, I get behind her and finger her pussy while he plays with her tits. After a while she moves to the bed and lies on her back I start to fuck her and her puts his cock back in her mouth, I'm watching a mix of face fucking and her sucking. Finally we all cum together, her on my balls, me on ther belly and him on her tits. Her fantasy while she masterbates is sucking a line of cocks. She's never mentioned if she is working along the line or the line is working its way through her.

I love watching my GF suck guys cocks. And if she did it once and then stopped I would probably think or obsess about it.

It's a definite yay for us. I think the safety benefit is a big one and I feel better knowing my GF is with one of my friends rather than someone I never met. It also makes getting together with friends more fun and takes the pressure away from having to hide anything.

My doubts were before we started. I now have no problem having her spend a night with our friends. I only enjoy the stories about her and her girlfriend and don’t need all the details outside of that. Her girlfriend reciprocates spending nights with us and I enjoy watching them play with the extra benefit of playing with this really fine friend.

I have also gone through the same thing I started to enjoy watching her so I started letting my friends pass her around because it was turning me on.

Oh my wife is definitely a slut but she was that way before i met her. I dont love her any differently and she is a nympho.

I had four men along with my husband cum inside or on me last night. Make no mistake - I am a slut!

I LOVE sluts! To me slut is a compliment. I want a woman that considers herself a slut. A woman with that attitude have been my best experiences. I respect sluts.

"How many of you consider your swinging wives to be "sluts"?" First off, under the appropriate circumstances (alone or with swing partners), my wife will refer to herself as a slut, whore, cunt, etc. Regardless, in strict terms I don't consider her a slut because for a woman in her mid-thirties, she hasn't had as many sex partners as many normal women her age, although I don't care about her number. She keeps fucking the same guys over again. A lot.

I'd say it really rather depends on what you mean by "slut." I consider my wife to be my wife. She an intelligent, educated, strong, confident, sexually open, more-than-a-little-weird woman. I would also say she's a slut... in that she likes sex, enjoys sex with a wide variety of men, enjoys having sex with multiple men at the same time, is a bit kinky and is perfectly comfortable with all of that. However, I don't consider the word "slut" to be pejorative in this sense. I don't think any less of her because she enjoys these things. In most of the world, women who enjoy sex are demeaned and insulted, while men who do the same are lionized. I reject that out of hand.

My long time friend is coming out to visit us, from another state, and staying with us in our tiny one bedroom apartment. My wife and this guy really like each other, have flirted many times, and I have told both of them they have the green light from me to fuck if they want. I feel like if they do actually fuck, the situation you describe above will be what happens between all of us. I haven't seen her with a guy that she REALLY likes... so if this goes down, I suspect I will feel the same as you did! I feel it will be very intense and hot!

Love this! You're right. We need a whole "Truth or Dare" swingers games thread. Somebody throws down the gauntlet and players have to rise to the challenge. Alura, I've often thought about that scenario. Being in the lifestyle and others not knowing about your predilections is sort of like dressing like a nun but wearing red lace underbritches. LOL

There are some benefits to fucking friends. Y'all can play fun games together. We used to have "date night" when The swapped couples would go out to dinner, sometimes in the same restaurant, sitting separately, pretending to not know each other. Then we'd go home and fuck. We need a separate thread for "date night" scenarios...

We haven't, but honestly - for me at least - it would be optimal. I'd rather that I know them somewhat. Not because I'm afraid to fuck a complete stranger, but because most of my pleasure is intellectual. I like the mind-fuck of knowing someone as an acquaintance - someone you keep at arm's length in your everyday vanilla life - and then getting the privilege of being allowed into their personal space and getting to see them in a whole new light...then going back to our respective lives with our minds totally blown by the experience. I am so weird.

We have and it is the best. What better than playing with friends? They are our best vanilla friends and now our best spumoni friends. It put the cherry on the top.

I think this was a wise decision, Alicia. It's always better to solve a problem with humor than to get angry. We once had a "Mr. Playmate" who had a control problem. We considered telling the couple we weren't going to swap with them any more but Mrs. Alura thought she could train him with a little effort. She did, and we played with him and his wife for years.

Everything else was amazing, and my issue was similar to yours. I swallow all the time for my husband, but I wasn't sure if I wanted another guy busting in my mouth, at least not the first few times. That said, I agree with the poster who had the quote about not putting a dick in your mouth if you don't want cum in it, so I really wasn't mad, just surprised.It wasn't anything that upset me, or made it situationally awkward after the sex was over, just in that moment I was taken by surprise, and I figured this was a common problem so if I posted, people would say oh yea, it happenes. I'm convinced it was not done on purpose, and was just a guy really enjoying the fact that he was getting his dick sucked who lost control at the wrong moment. We have no formal "rules" because we think it would be silly to restrict ourselves by saying, "You can do this, but not this." It was simply a preference at that time, but I also think the entire thing is something we can joke about somewhere down the line, after more successful encounters. We jumped back on the horse last night, and the first thing I did after playing with my husband for a bit was suck his dick, and there was no issue. He was a lot more talkative after lasting a more normal amount of time, so it looks like a humorous story and nothing more. My inclination was to take it slow, and think it over, but we decided it would be silly to dwell on something so irrelevant, and that getting right back on would clarify the situation rather quickly. "Problem" solved, and now for a middle of the early morning nap to unwind! Thanks for the advice, and keep it coming to anybody who hasn't responded but wants to. The mroe input the better.

I wish I could have met Mrs. Alura... She just made way too much sense about way too much stuff! Thank you for sharing.

It sounds like it really was an accident to me. Some men struggle with keeping it up in new and crazy situations while other men have issues to the other extreme and cum really quickly! I've been with a couple of men who cum out of nowhere (no real warning), so I wouldn't assume he planned it unless you have reason to. Accidental things like that, I would probably let slide unless that was really a big deal for you (but since you went along with his attempt to cover up, I assume it wasn't?). Now, if he purposefully did something, I wouldn't play with them anymore. At all. I kind of have a one strike policy with purposeful rule-breaking. Accidents happen and while getting caught up in the moment isn't really an excuse, it happens. Also not everyone's bodies work the same in every situation so if you're really concern talk to him about it.

I feel the same way. If I feel good about giving a guy head, then I expect the REWARD of his cum in my mouth! It simply tells (or affirms!) that I just gave him a good blowjob. Some couples have different rules, and that's OK. But Mr. H knows that I love it, and he's fine with it. One of the men we regularly play with can't hold back more than a few minutes, and honestly I want more than that when I'm having sex. An initial oral orgasm lets him recover fairly quickly and then he's usually ready for a longer, more enduring romp.

To answer the question: Mrs. Alura once said, "When I give head, Darling, I fully expect to swallow the guy's load, should he choose to give it to me. If I didn't want to do that, his penis would not be in my mouth." The husband of one of our long-term playcouples had a bit of a premature ejaculation problem when we first met them. Mrs. Alura quickly learned that he could keep it up a long time during the second round. The first time it happened, after making out a bit, she looked him in the eyes and said, "I'm going to suck your cock until you to come in my mouth. I think you'll be able to last a lot longer when we get down to fucking. Relax and enjoy!" After that, it became a regular thing for some time. He eventually got his orgasms more under control but it was pretty special to watch her "take the edge off" with a "no responsibility blowjob." Alura

To play it safe, why don't you just get all the guys together and have them bang her with condoms on? Problem solved.

Personally I agree with almost everyone's sentiments. We are exclusive with another couple, but we entertain a lot; in the summers their can be 20 or 30 people in our house (totally vanilla parties which our significant other couple does not come to--they have their own social life as well). And at times, I have met fellows that too me personally act like arrogant sob's. And yet to my wife, they are sweet, tender (not in an inappropriate way, just genuinely nice). And after the party, we'll talk. And my wife will wonder how we could be talking abou the same person, and I having seen both behaviors, the negative towards me and the "puppy dog" towards her, I agree with her to the point that she just didn't see what I saw. She listens and takes me seriously. Since its not a swing or deep friendship issue, it usually just drifts away like floatsam going by on a boat. As Confuscious says, "Choose your battles." But if a person is disrespectful from the get-go, I wouldn't waste time trying to make it better. I would look for a couple that gels all the way around. Not only are they out there, but they're out there in abundance.

Good question! And one that is very important to me. I don't have to feel like I am going to be best friends with the guy, but he does have to be someone who is willing and able to engage me in conversation. Couples or singles - the same rules apply. We are attracted to people who we can both talk to - not always deep conversations, but you can pick up a lot about a persons character. Are they respectful or are they simply "uh-huh" types who see talk as a neccessary evil? Are they intelligent or are they neanderthals who are going to plow ahead without once utilizing the most powerful sex organ (their brain)? I also need to feel like the guy who is going to be laying his hands on my wife is going to be someone I can trust her with. Mrs Spoo has a great sense of that herself, but it has to come across to me. We've had single guys try to block me out (literally block me out!) when they are talking to Mrs Spoo - or they have only talked to Mrs Spoo once I have walked away - or they've decided based on some stupid thought or other that the best way to impress Mrs Spoo was to disrespect me with their "humor"; as if putting me down was some sort of aphrodisiac. And the best connections we have ever had have been with couples who we have a sense we might like out of the bedroom as well as in. I talk a lot about the "one single guy" that we have enjoyed... This is a guy who has become one of my best friends. We e-mail often and talk on the phone occasionally. So - yeah - I would say it is important... I read your question to Mrs Spoo and she said it is "critical." If I don't like him, she won't like him. It is that simple. PS - I like you a lot, Mr. Truelove

My wife just recently told me that she also enjoys having her head held while I forcefully thrust. I guess she had a boyfriend in the past that got her into doing that way, and now it really turns her on. My last g/f hated it when I touched her head during fellatio, she felt it was taking away from what she was doing and making her into an object. Takes all kinds I guess...