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Similar for me. My ex-fiancé and I broke up, I moved out, but we kept having sex. I started dating David, and after a few dates we had sex. The first thing I did afterwards was go see my ex, talk with him about it, and we had sex. A few more dates, David knew that I was still seeing my ex, figured out that we were still screwing, said that it was ok with him, and asked me to marry him.

House parties in the LS are usually full of good people, but more than once I've seen a bad apple or two sneak in, or someone gets drunk and acts poorly. One trick is to stay close to your spouse. I never let mine get more than ten feet away and out of my site unless I know and trust everyone. I only trust everyone in small hand-picked parties, generally. Don't drink much. As you know, alcohol is no friend to erections either. But drinking too much for a female can cause her to make poor decisions she'll regret later. 2s look like 10s when drunk. Don't worry too much. Treat it like a regular party and go in with no expectations. I know people who don't play at parties. We only play at parties with people we know well. Never with anyone knew. Doing that gives you an out, keeps you more relaxed and not stressed, and lowers chances you'll make a bad decision.

Between the byob swing clubs and the houseparties we have seen some seriously inebriated Lifestylers. Don't be that couple!

We had sex on the first date, moved in together a couple weeks later, married a few months later.....and a couple of weeks ago we celebrated 40 years of marriage. It took a number of years to realize we liked sex with other people,

I wonder if you're not putting too much pressure on yourself. I don't mean this as a slight, but maybe you just need to lighten up. We like to look at these adventures as just that, adventures. We also try to be playful, laugh, giggle, be okay with being uncomfortable and even awkward. If you are both new to this, then all the better. Be weird, clumsy, and nervous together as a group. I might suggest that your first meet up include other activities not specifically focused on getting naked in bed. We have gone to restaurants and flirted, girls without panties, traded partners and touched each other under the table. We've been to nude beaches or private hot tubs. We've gone to clubs and partied with a lot of added sexual tension. We've been to art openings, flirted, looked at art, traded time with each others spouse, kissed each other knowing that we couldn't have sex in the studio but might later on. It is a real turn on as a married couple to be kissing two women/men in public. It was a build up, but offered an opportunity to test the waters and spark the juices. I remember one time when it was my wife, a single guy and myself (MFM) at a club. We were dancing, touching, really being sexy on the dance floor. She was kissing both of us. Guys in the crowd were like, WTF. Trying to approach her, but she would tell them she was with us. That she was going to fuck us both later. The looks on the others faces was priceless. But the point is we were having sexy fun. Enjoying ourselves. Some of these evenings ended without any 'sex' and they were still a blast. If you're kind, honest, open and respectful you really can't go wrong. Have fun...

On average perhaps, but some men produce a large amount of semen with few sperm, while others have many sperm concentrated in less seminal fluid.

Love that and can see me saying this 35 years from now. I met my husband at a friends house and had sex that night. I also had sex the night with another guy I was dating. For months I had fun with a few guys then we fell in love lol. We didn’t rush getting married, got engaged first and planned a wedding. Wait until he reads this, I’ll have to swear he was the best and that’s why I married him. I can safely say once we got engaged he is the only one. Now we are looking to change that.

Well hunterdonNJcpl, you just might get your wish ~6 years in the future My wife and I are planning on taking our RV to Hunterdon County. My family has deep roots all up and down the Delaware. We need to go to the Hunterdon County Historical Society because of some Rittenhouse papers we need to review for genealogical purpose. I'm descendant of that line.

I so wish we were in an RV inviting somewhat-too-friendly RV retirees over for cocktails right now. I can't even begin to express how heavenly that sounds.

Psychologically, at a very primordial level, two men are competing to be the one who has the stuff that will fertilize my egg. Millions of sperm, one egg. A powerful dynamic for a woman. Plus it feels good.

Last night I ask Rocky if he read this about being terrified when we met others. He said I was always excited to meet, eager until we would get to the meetings. Most were fakes he reminded me and I looked relieved when we realized nothing was going to happen. Our first real meeting was with a great cpl we remain very close to. We called them and asked how I reacted when we Did It the first time. She said I was terrified and shy. I never thought of myself as shy, I might have had body issues, not 20 years old anymore. Even talking last night we relived with plenty of laughs how shy I was at first. She said I was trembling or shaking and very quiet, I wouldn’t take a towel off my waist. It was our first time doing this, the very first time letting a woman touch me. Rocky said I just closed my eyes and didn’t say a word when she used one of her toys on me, quiet for about 10 seconds and then biting my lip until I made my orgasm sounds. We were laughing again when Mrs Cpl said I pushed her head down making me bi and very quiet again. Laughing at my expense, I said I didn’t remember that. She said I still get shy when we play. No longer nervous like the first time I still get excited. I never thought of myself as shy.

We make it a point to drink very lightly at parties. Our go to drink is a white wine spritzer, meaning a little wine mixed in with some sparkling water in a tall ice-filled glass. It allows for the shared experience aspect of drinking while allowing for how "light" the pour, and the pour gets lighter with each subsequent prep. https://www.thespruceeats.com/white-wine-spritzer-759850 Experienced LS folks will generally agree that as experience accumulates, people ratchet down the amount of alcohol they bring and especially how much they consume. People who attend house parties typically need little (if any) of the social lubrication aspects of alcohol. They attend to have fun. Booze tends to dull that fun, not enhance it.

Disappoint!?!?! Not at ALL! Great post!

How fun. Thank you for sharing. I'm so excited for you all. Honestly if you never have sex with them, the experience is something you will remember and talk about for the rest of your lives...I HOPE. You note brought up such good memories for me. Cool!

Congratulations on a good first experience. It seems it left you considering more, that's all you really need. I would suggest that 'terrified' is not quite the right word you're looking for. 'Terrified' is what I am when I'm camping and a bear comes into the site and it looks at me and I know I'm gonna die. Perhaps, better words might be 'spooked', 'uneasy' or 'overwrought.' But they're your emotions, so if you really are terrified, I hope you don't get eaten by the bear.

Yes, but the word we choose to use is "excited" Once again, think of it as excited and not terrified. One is a thrilling experience and the other is frightening. Absolutely...as you found out. This is why we always recommend that the first meeting be for drinks or dinner with both couples knowing that playing is not on the board. It takes the pressure off and lets everyone get the chance to just get to know each other. Afterwards, both couples can then decide if there will be a second meeting where things may (or may not) happen. Definitely takes the 'terrifying' and pressure out of the equation. This is something that we have always been surprised about...we are all there because we are interested in sex, yet all too often, nobody wants to bring it up. This is one of the more 'fun' thing we enjoy about swinging...being able to openly talk about sex with others. Yet, all too often, even though we are meeting another potential couple, they steer away from talking about sex (even though we keep trying to steer things back that direction). Meetings will become easier and you will both become more comfortable as you get used to doing them. We were the same way when we started, then realized that almost everyone feels the same when they started as well. It's all part of the adventure that the two of you have undertaken. Enjoy the ride as well as the destination...

There is so much truth and insight in this simple observation. Think hard about the notion of "very much like us". It starts with shared values. While your life experiences are unique, they brought you and the other couple to sufficiently similar realizations about yourselves, that you are now at the same threshold. Perhaps. What you are really thinking about here is the role of the mentor(s). We invite you to compare your/their journey into the LS with the monomyth or, as it is more commonly known, the Hero's Journey as conceptualized by Joseph Campbell in the middle of the 20th century. One of the standard questions meeting a new couple is, "How did you get started in the LS?" This is more than curiosity, and much more than mere conversation-filler. It is both an affirmation of shared experience and a curiosity about the variations on that journey. As you read about the Hero's Journey, you will come to realize that every person/couple who has experienced the LS has taken this journey. We have lived to tell the tale, and -- like all who are posting on the thread--are serving as sort of mentors-at-a-distance. Good luck!

Well, because that's the way we liked to do it. Mary had a thing for exploring what a new man was like and could give her, and didn't want to be distracted (at least that much.) That was fine with me, I loved being a voyeur for the first hour or so. And then she and I would go at it while the guy was recuperating, which more often or not led to round 2 (round 3?)

I left my terror feelings at the door and it followed me in. Meeting a couple that will work with your fears is what is needed. You are now on equal ground with another couple opening up to their fears. Jokes and laughing takes away the fear that every new situation brings not only sexual situations. You will always remember the first time you meet, your meeting was a success without sex, you made friends.

What can go wrong if 4 terrified unsure people meet for sex? Strangers meeting for the first time with no experience to guide you is not the best idea, guidance is needed. You are on a swingers site giving you the opportunity to find a match based on your criteria, looking for a little experience could be a better entry.

I read this thread again and see that I never answered the question. It wasn't set up as a gangbang, but the most I've had is four men in one afternoon. It was the two guys in our family (boyfriend Red, husband David), the boyfriend we women share Frank, and Lora's ex-husband Walter. The best part about it was that it was part of a special occasion for me, so I got the first ejaculation from each of the men before they played with Becky, Clair, and Lora. It made a holy mess and made me feel special.

"Not sure when she will be ready to venture back into LS activity, but we did discuss that we still want to hang out with LS friends and just not have expectation of play on the table. " A perfectly viable option if your LS friends are truly friends. Mutual support should be part of the game. Taking your time about coming back should be worth it.

To be honest, our first MFM wasn't great. It wasn't bad mind you, but it wasn't great. It was good to break the ice of swinging, and start to figure things out for us. But, it wasn't great. My wife and I had agreed before we dipped our toes in the pool that we would keep at it for a bit, and not base our opinion of swinging on one or a handful of times. We understood that just like vanilla dating, there was going to be a few duds along the way. We might get lucky the first couple of times, and we might not. We connected through SLS, and met up at a swinger club in the region. The second time was with the same guy. I honestly can't remember the details. Again, it was ok but not great. If we'd based our opinions on those two MFMs, there's a fair chance we would be monogamous today. I think we would have concluded, "Fun, but not really our cup of tea" and moved on. Now the third time.... We met this guy for dinner, and we all really clicked. I'm a veteran, and this guy was still on active duty. My wife has a bit of a thing with guys in uniform. My wife and I have a non-verbal means of communicating when we're deciding on whether to play with someone. Along the way, one of us will squeeze the thigh of the other. The other will squeeze back; one squeeze is yes, two is no. After a while, I squeeze my wife's thigh. I immediately got a very enthusiastic squeeze back, and knew she was really into him as I suspected. We went back to his hotel room, and things got busy pretty quick. I think my wife was naked in about 5.3 seconds, and us two guys rapidly followed. We spent quite a long time having sex. Primarily, it was the other guy having sex with my wife. I was very happy with that, as my thoughts were that I could have sex with her any other time, but she couldn't have sex with him any time. My wife had an absolute blast. She could not get enough sex from this guy. She loved it all, made absolutely delicious noises while he was fucking her, and probably came a half dozen times. It was toe curling sex for her. One of my favorite memories from that was her on her hands and knees, he was fucking her from behind, and she was giving me head. The combined motion of her being moved by him vigorously fucking her and her moans of ecstasy while I was in her mouth were absolutely delightful. After we left, and got in the car, my wife said with a huge grin on her face "Ok, now I'm a swinger!" A few days later, she got to have a solo date with him, and once again had an absolute blast. During that solo date, he told my wife that he hadn't been able to cum from oral sex alone in many, many years. My wife took that as a challenge. She is quite talented at giving oral sex, and ...challenge completed It's 14 years on now, and we continue to play. It's not as often as it used to be, but we still very much enjoy it. The journey continues.

About 100,000,000 per teaspoon of human ejaculate.