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ExploringOptions; Guess what? You're in a WONDERFUL place! Terrified? Excited? Jumble of nerves? Turned on? All of this can be exquisite. It's a bit like the first date you ever had in your life, the first time a young man touched you, the first time you kissed. You aren't stupid asking anything! That's one of the reasons this forum exists! My wife and I would not have gotten into swinging without this forum and its ability to answer so many questions, even questions we didn't think of and questions we couldn't quite articulate. It's true with swinging there isn't a pretense of romance. But, there's still a pretense of courtship if that makes sense. You've already been doing that with this other couple. You're finding common ground, talking, getting to know each other, seeing if there is attraction, seeing if there is compatibility. That's all part of the "vanilla dating" (what swingers call regular, non-swinging dating) too. Now, that's not to say that romance can't be felt. I remember reading a post here from a woman who talked about her first ever swinging experience. For her, it was very definitely making love, and she very much enjoyed it like that. That's a whole area of understanding. Some swingers approach it as "Hi! Let's go fuck!" and off they go and bam-bam-bam. Some approach it more akin to dating. There's no 'wrong' answer; the right answer is what works for you and your husband. There's no mold you're supposed to fit here. Be you. Swinging can feel quite awkward at first. Your whole upbringing, all of society tries very hard to teach us that monogamous relationships are the end-all-be-all, and anything else is socially criminal. We're not given the tools to understand what non-monogamy looks like, how to think of it, embrace it, feel it, understand it. As a result, it can be absolutely terrifying to approach it because it's such an unknown. You're on this journey with your husband. Keep the communication between the two of you absolutely open, and always make it a journey you're on together. Do that, and how any evening works out will always end with you and your husband in each other's arms both physically and emotionally. You're the team. I don't think you need to find someone more experienced. I think you've already found the right couple based on what you've said. Ok, they're new too. That can make things awkward, but it can also add a lot of spice. When you get together for more than just dinner and talking, there will be some point where there will be an ice breaker. I can't tell you what that ice breaker is. My wife and I had an MFM with a guy who was a bit nervous on how to move forward, so I started things off by unzipping her dress. It can be being at a club, and trading partners on a dance floor. It can be at dinner, where wife A sits with husband B on the same side of the table, and physical proximity ignites things. From what you've posted, it feels like the wife in the other couple may be the one to break the ice. But, once the ice is broken I think everyone will start moving forward. As terrified as you are, it might be you that breaks the ice. It can be as simple as you hugging the other husband, and doing it as a physically intimate hug as opposed to a hug you give a friend. You know the type of hug...where you press your breasts against him, move your hips into him. There's all sorts of ways to do this, and they're all essentially the same as how you break the ice on a vanilla date. Don't be surprised if you're still terrified after the date that gets things going physically. It took some time for my wife and I to feel like doing this was 'normal'. Not that we didn't want it to be exciting, but that we felt comfortable enough to be at ease. It's all new. This is normal. Just remember; doing this doesn't mean you love your husband less or he loves you less. Rather the opposite! You are both enjoying an incredible new experience that you couldn't be doing if you didn't love each other so much. You have probably already felt that these first few steps on this journey together has already brought you closer. Swinging, in a couple that is already in love, usually magnifies that love. Seems paradoxical but it is true. I hope you have a wonderful time tonight! Let us know how it goes!

Petra, I’m sure I posted this in some thread or another on this board, but near the conclusion of a party perhaps a decade ago, after about half the guests had departed and I was lounging nude on a bed, four women approached and began working on me. I suggested the two who were playing with my nipples stop because it wasn’t doing much for me, so from then on they just watched. The other two who were sucking my cock orally continued their pleasurable ministrations until I ejaculated in the mouth of one of them, who then ostentatiously snowballed the other. So, does this count as a four-women-on-one-man gangbang? I dunno? My sense was that the women were doing me for their own amusement; I just happened to have the good fortune to be an available male body.

Step 2 for us happened last night that went the way the 4 us planned without sex. We met the same ones again for a very nice dinner and more talk about sex and swinging and the reasons we want to swing again what we want to do our histories of sex and still laughed about all things stupid we did. Meeting them this time we had no intentions to have sex last night it was just to get together like any friend for a nice night out because they have a child and a babysitter that needed to get home by 11:00. With no sex planned the big question is when we would do it they still haven’t left us meaning they enjoyed being with us and we enjoyed them we weren’t strangers anymore going to meet for sex. She was the most talkative about sex the guys just laughed at two sexual women opening up with real sex talk. When she said she wants to fuck both of us we knew we had to get over whatever was hold us back they were the perfect match for us. Step 3 will be tonight at their place she will get her mom to watch their kid for the night and we won’t have any interruptions for our plans that she no longer wants to be curious about us she plans to break the barriers. Now we are excited and have to wait all day to do this being less terrified still not knowing how it will go I need her to push this for me.

My wife Amy likes separate rooms more tha I do. She just wants to play in with the same partner. I realized when we had been swinging for a shortat while that she was trying lots of different things with her playmate, things that she didn't do with me. She didn't want me to see but gradually she started to do those things with me when we were making love. That may have never happened had she not had private lessons.

We "half" swapped our first meet with another couple. Everyone played and I had sex with the other wife, but the other male made the mistake of cuming too soon in his own wife and couldn't get it up for mine... Since that time (when we're active) we've kept of the trend of playing on the first encounter if it feels right. Our schedules are difficult and we all know what we're hoping for, so why delay gratification if we all synch?

Excited and Terrified many times in my life like going skiing, on coasters, watching movies and so many other times. I was terrified watching Debbie the first time with our friend and equally excited. I was more excited the first time having sex as a teen, too excited embarrassingly, yet terrified that I knocked her up. You asked do I just spread my legs, yes. Let her please you, just enjoy. I bet you have pleased past boyfriends and your husband that way and hoping you spread your legs for those partners. I’m still excited when Debbie spreads enjoying me eating her while she screams and jerks. I bet you will forget who is between your legs if it feels good. Get your adrenaline going and take in the excitement as the terrifying thoughts melt away. Now you have to deal with the others getting over fears of swinging.

I wonder if you're not putting too much pressure on yourself. I don't mean this as a slight, but maybe you just need to lighten up. We like to look at these adventures as just that, adventures. We also try to be playful, laugh, giggle, be okay with being uncomfortable and even awkward. If you are both new to this, then all the better. Be weird, clumsy, and nervous together as a group. I might suggest that your first meet up include other activities not specifically focused on getting naked in bed. We have gone to restaurants and flirted, girls without panties, traded partners and touched each other under the table. We've been to nude beaches or private hot tubs. We've gone to clubs and partied with a lot of added sexual tension. We've been to art openings, flirted, looked at art, traded time with each others spouse, kissed each other knowing that we couldn't have sex in the studio but might later on. It is a real turn on as a married couple to be kissing two women/men in public. It was a build up, but offered an opportunity to test the waters and spark the juices. I remember one time when it was my wife, a single guy and myself (MFM) at a club. We were dancing, touching, really being sexy on the dance floor. She was kissing both of us. Guys in the crowd were like, WTF. Trying to approach her, but she would tell them she was with us. That she was going to fuck us both later. The looks on the others faces was priceless. But the point is we were having sexy fun. Enjoying ourselves. Some of these evenings ended without any 'sex' and they were still a blast. If you're kind, honest, open and respectful you really can't go wrong. Have fun...

Not sure we understand the question, but that's one reason we have first 'dates' where everyone knows that play is not on the board...to take the pressure off. Before we get together to play, we discuss what is okay and what isn't (and we check in on this just about every time we are planning on getting together). We check because this can (and usually) changes as comfort levels and rules adapt. We then don't try to push them to go any further than they are comfortable with. We are looking for long term friends (with benefits) and not just a quick roll in the hay, so we are all about trust and respect for everyone involved. If the other wife is interested in kissing Ms. Gold, then that is okay IF is happens (and okay if it doesn't), but nothing more is expected. It's all about trust and communication with everyone involved. While we don't have very many rules these days, one of them will always be "don't move any faster than the slowest member is comfortable with". This is supposed to be something me and Ms. Gold enjoy together, and we want the other couple to be enjoying it as well...and we have the rest of our lives so there really isn't a big rush...take your time and enjoy the experience. Hope that answers part of your question...(?) Also: still should be excited and not terrified. If you are really terrified, you might need to take a step back and see what is causing the terror.

I feel stupid asking this, it’s strange asking intimate details. All of us have dated and ended up in bed even on a first date. Guys always think they bedded a girl without thinking the other side that we wanted it too. I don’t think I am any different from all of us growing up going back to a guys place, in bed kissing then touching and somehow both of would be doing it. I usually enjoyed the kissing and foreplay leading up to what I had hoped would be great, sometimes disappointed. What I’m trying to understand is how the dynamic changes now with swinging. Sure when dating I met guys for sex, it seemed natural. Now meeting others, two people it still seems crazy. Even thinking about bi sex is strange, maybe why I keep thinking why wouldn’t I. I am putting myself into your post thinking how did all this happen. Did you just get together, undress and wait for her to play with you. I am trying to visualize myself in your space on a bed naked waiting for a woman to do things that have only been done by my husband and old dates. With guys there was a pretense of romance with an expectation of sex. Here there is no romance and it’s a woman in front of husbands. One more thing, how did you reciprocate with the wife, I’m thinking sex with the husband which is still all the words like terrifying, exciting, uneasy will be somewhat less terrifying, sex with the wife crazy different. I know I’m overthinking, the ones we already met seem normal, safe and sane, and I know she is as terrified as me. Overthinking that we should find someone more experienced because they will know. I really can’t wait to write that we did and not be terrified anymore.

Me too. One at a time, except pussy/ bum DP can be nice if done properly.

We have no problem with either same or separate rooms. When we are at house parties, there is ample opportunity for both. At least half the parties we have attended have been crowded enough that it's same room with at least one more couple. Not necessarily playing with them, but them being in the same room playing as we (whoever my partner is at that moment). I have also played in the same room my lovely bride was playing in and there have even been occasions where there were three couples and two happened to include myself and my spouse. This actually culminated in a full six way pile...

When we found our first playcouple, we considered what we were doing to be "wife swapping." Consequently, the idea of "same room" never occurred to us until Mrs. Playmate suggested it. What a creative lady she was! I don't think we ever decided which we preferred but a trend developed. We would go to separate rooms at first. Later, the four of us would get together either in the bedroom or den, where play would surely begin again. Mr. Alura