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Who wasn’t nervous the first time? I wondered how I would perform or if I would be compared to others our friends were with. We recently were with first timers where the pressure was on to make sure they weren’t terrified. We found out just because they were not swingers they new plenty about sex. Their teacher? Pornhub! It is nice to read positive posts where husbands are not asking how do I get my wife to do things.

Thanks for all the advice and nice thoughts that registered with us when we met our new besties. I never thought my husband would love me less if we joined a swinging site, I thought it meant he loved me more and I loved him more than ever. Everyone says that looks don’t count, it did and does for us. When looking I looked for what I called hot looking wives before looking at hot husbands. My husband said about a choice I found that the husband is not good enough, all based on looks. We agreed we wanted to meet the best out there. Unlike many men on here my husband is not showing me off or even has the big desire to watch me. I’ll take that back, he watched the first part of the night. All done in fun I stopped things just as they got sexually started with two horny husbands watching two wild women. I wanted to watch me too. We all agreed to chronicle as one poster suggested by letting the men use their phones to record the fun of those wild women. I wish they recorded the very first laugh we had. I say I was seduced by the best seducer we could have found. It is said every woman remembers her first, this first is much more memorable for me. I watched the video, I will say it was more fun when it happened. Watching yourself is like listening to yourself, hard to believe it’s you. The proof things went well is that the day after, today the funny texts went on all day between me and my “bi lover” lol. She asked if I am still looking for others, she volunteered to search together then added only if we can all meet.

We all enjoyed our evening

Overcome Your Fears and Live Life Our first adventure is not over. The man sleeping next to me is not my husband, I can’t sleep from our exciting fun we are having with our hosts. A New Bisexual Swinger

We actually ended up doing this. It has been a crazy few days that is for sure. On Saturday we were discussing when we would go to the club. My wife was feeling a bit reluctant as she thought that she would be the oldest one there with the ugliest body and nobody would go there. I told her that it isn't true and that swingers and all shapes and ages. I said how about we sign up to an online meeting site so you can see. So we sign up to one (not SLS as we are in Australia) we create a profile and start going through our potential matches. Bam within an hour we had one couple that we were chatting to. We got along well online so decided to meet up. Booked a date juat as a catch up. Well plans have changed as we all want to get straight to it. My reluctant wife is no longer reluctant and is keen to play with both of them on Friday. We have also decided we get along so well with them that a full swap is probably going to happen. We also matched with another couple and they are an even better match. They look like our twins and we have a date with them the following weekend. I thought it was going to be a slow journey but it is travelling fast. Some will say that is too fast but we have been talking about how far we will go and what we want to do a lot. We also have discussed the possibility of not wanting to play and changing minds with the other couples and they are fine with it all.

Initially, we used to keep count not only of couples or singles with that we had sex but of specifics, for example, how many cocks I had sucked, how many loads I swallowed, how many cocks I fucked, and how many girl-girl encounters, etc.; later on, we started going to parties and clubs, and after more than ten years we have no idea what is "our body count", we estimate it to be easily over hundred, me being BI and therefore leading for a significant margin. As of today, the only two specific counts we have a clear recollection of are the number of guys (not including my husband) that I have had condomless sex with and that have ejaculated inside me: 2, and the number of guys that I have had anal sex with 8.

Yeah it was okay lol. We could not have a found a more fun married couple to do this together. The first time we met them we were four dazed and confused souls knowing what we wanted and yes we were all terrified try to see how we could do it. Instead of rushing into things they suggested a date where we could get to know and we did get to know two people that will be friends we will want to see over and over. Our laughs, sense of humor, take on like are so alike. We said that their profile picture caught our attention while we were being advised that compatibility is more important. The second time we met we looked at people not bodies. I thanked her her Friday for helping with my fears, she answered she has to get over her own fears too. The real important thing was she told me that she may say Stop and would respect my Stop. Then she did her impression of I get to grab’em by the pussy. I laughed and said just don’t be that jerk. We all laughed at the impression. I laughed and said I’ll let her because all women will let you. She lived up to her word with so many laughs and jokes last night. Her grabbing by the pussy led me to say I’d grab hers and so it started. When do I get my tee?

Step 2 for us happened last night that went the way the 4 us planned without sex. We met the same ones again for a very nice dinner and more talk about sex and swinging and the reasons we want to swing again what we want to do our histories of sex and still laughed about all things stupid we did. Meeting them this time we had no intentions to have sex last night it was just to get together like any friend for a nice night out because they have a child and a babysitter that needed to get home by 11:00. With no sex planned the big question is when we would do it they still haven’t left us meaning they enjoyed being with us and we enjoyed them we weren’t strangers anymore going to meet for sex. She was the most talkative about sex the guys just laughed at two sexual women opening up with real sex talk. When she said she wants to fuck both of us we knew we had to get over whatever was hold us back they were the perfect match for us. Step 3 will be tonight at their place she will get her mom to watch their kid for the night and we won’t have any interruptions for our plans that she no longer wants to be curious about us she plans to break the barriers. Now we are excited and have to wait all day to do this being less terrified still not knowing how it will go I need her to push this for me.

These words of yours struck me. Whether it was watching my wife in the throes of passion with another man, or both of us in a foursome swap or orgy, the memories are but a pale comparison of actually being there and watching and performing sexual acts with other happy humans.

Sounds like things ended up going okay (lol). Welcome to the club and I'm sure that you will be receiving your "swingers" T shirts in the mail soon. Can't wait to hear the entire story...

So excited for all of you. I suggest you document the First Time so you can relive the occasion and the memory. Did it go the way you wanted or were you surprised?

This is a great way for young swingers to start I wish we were young and exploring instead of middle aged thinking how much fun we missed. Don’t worry we all felt nervous the first time not knowing what was going to happen. How perfect that you found people you like with as much experience as you agreeing to take that first step. I so want to read that you and them hit it off and made it work. Best of luck just remember to enjoy.

ExploringOptions; Guess what? You're in a WONDERFUL place! Terrified? Excited? Jumble of nerves? Turned on? All of this can be exquisite. It's a bit like the first date you ever had in your life, the first time a young man touched you, the first time you kissed. You aren't stupid asking anything! That's one of the reasons this forum exists! My wife and I would not have gotten into swinging without this forum and its ability to answer so many questions, even questions we didn't think of and questions we couldn't quite articulate. It's true with swinging there isn't a pretense of romance. But, there's still a pretense of courtship if that makes sense. You've already been doing that with this other couple. You're finding common ground, talking, getting to know each other, seeing if there is attraction, seeing if there is compatibility. That's all part of the "vanilla dating" (what swingers call regular, non-swinging dating) too. Now, that's not to say that romance can't be felt. I remember reading a post here from a woman who talked about her first ever swinging experience. For her, it was very definitely making love, and she very much enjoyed it like that. That's a whole area of understanding. Some swingers approach it as "Hi! Let's go fuck!" and off they go and bam-bam-bam. Some approach it more akin to dating. There's no 'wrong' answer; the right answer is what works for you and your husband. There's no mold you're supposed to fit here. Be you. Swinging can feel quite awkward at first. Your whole upbringing, all of society tries very hard to teach us that monogamous relationships are the end-all-be-all, and anything else is socially criminal. We're not given the tools to understand what non-monogamy looks like, how to think of it, embrace it, feel it, understand it. As a result, it can be absolutely terrifying to approach it because it's such an unknown. You're on this journey with your husband. Keep the communication between the two of you absolutely open, and always make it a journey you're on together. Do that, and how any evening works out will always end with you and your husband in each other's arms both physically and emotionally. You're the team. I don't think you need to find someone more experienced. I think you've already found the right couple based on what you've said. Ok, they're new too. That can make things awkward, but it can also add a lot of spice. When you get together for more than just dinner and talking, there will be some point where there will be an ice breaker. I can't tell you what that ice breaker is. My wife and I had an MFM with a guy who was a bit nervous on how to move forward, so I started things off by unzipping her dress. It can be being at a club, and trading partners on a dance floor. It can be at dinner, where wife A sits with husband B on the same side of the table, and physical proximity ignites things. From what you've posted, it feels like the wife in the other couple may be the one to break the ice. But, once the ice is broken I think everyone will start moving forward. As terrified as you are, it might be you that breaks the ice. It can be as simple as you hugging the other husband, and doing it as a physically intimate hug as opposed to a hug you give a friend. You know the type of hug...where you press your breasts against him, move your hips into him. There's all sorts of ways to do this, and they're all essentially the same as how you break the ice on a vanilla date. Don't be surprised if you're still terrified after the date that gets things going physically. It took some time for my wife and I to feel like doing this was 'normal'. Not that we didn't want it to be exciting, but that we felt comfortable enough to be at ease. It's all new. This is normal. Just remember; doing this doesn't mean you love your husband less or he loves you less. Rather the opposite! You are both enjoying an incredible new experience that you couldn't be doing if you didn't love each other so much. You have probably already felt that these first few steps on this journey together has already brought you closer. Swinging, in a couple that is already in love, usually magnifies that love. Seems paradoxical but it is true. I hope you have a wonderful time tonight! Let us know how it goes!

Excited and Terrified many times in my life like going skiing, on coasters, watching movies and so many other times. I was terrified watching Debbie the first time with our friend and equally excited. I was more excited the first time having sex as a teen, too excited embarrassingly, yet terrified that I knocked her up. You asked do I just spread my legs, yes. Let her please you, just enjoy. I bet you have pleased past boyfriends and your husband that way and hoping you spread your legs for those partners. I’m still excited when Debbie spreads enjoying me eating her while she screams and jerks. I bet you will forget who is between your legs if it feels good. Get your adrenaline going and take in the excitement as the terrifying thoughts melt away. Now you have to deal with the others getting over fears of swinging.

Agreed. 4 way compatibility may be more difficult, but I'm glad that was our entry. Inside every threesome is the potential for a 2 sum and 1 sum. Without having gotten your feet wet with a swap, that could be hard to process for a first experience. Our first several swaps/4 sums went without a hitch, but I definitely had things to process after our first MFM.

I feel stupid asking this, it’s strange asking intimate details. All of us have dated and ended up in bed even on a first date. Guys always think they bedded a girl without thinking the other side that we wanted it too. I don’t think I am any different from all of us growing up going back to a guys place, in bed kissing then touching and somehow both of would be doing it. I usually enjoyed the kissing and foreplay leading up to what I had hoped would be great, sometimes disappointed. What I’m trying to understand is how the dynamic changes now with swinging. Sure when dating I met guys for sex, it seemed natural. Now meeting others, two people it still seems crazy. Even thinking about bi sex is strange, maybe why I keep thinking why wouldn’t I. I am putting myself into your post thinking how did all this happen. Did you just get together, undress and wait for her to play with you. I am trying to visualize myself in your space on a bed naked waiting for a woman to do things that have only been done by my husband and old dates. With guys there was a pretense of romance with an expectation of sex. Here there is no romance and it’s a woman in front of husbands. One more thing, how did you reciprocate with the wife, I’m thinking sex with the husband which is still all the words like terrifying, exciting, uneasy will be somewhat less terrifying, sex with the wife crazy different. I know I’m overthinking, the ones we already met seem normal, safe and sane, and I know she is as terrified as me. Overthinking that we should find someone more experienced because they will know. I really can’t wait to write that we did and not be terrified anymore.

Last night I ask Rocky if he read this about being terrified when we met others. He said I was always excited to meet, eager until we would get to the meetings. Most were fakes he reminded me and I looked relieved when we realized nothing was going to happen. Our first real meeting was with a great cpl we remain very close to. We called them and asked how I reacted when we Did It the first time. She said I was terrified and shy. I never thought of myself as shy, I might have had body issues, not 20 years old anymore. Even talking last night we relived with plenty of laughs how shy I was at first. She said I was trembling or shaking and very quiet, I wouldn’t take a towel off my waist. It was our first time doing this, the very first time letting a woman touch me. Rocky said I just closed my eyes and didn’t say a word when she used one of her toys on me, quiet for about 10 seconds and then biting my lip until I made my orgasm sounds. We were laughing again when Mrs Cpl said I pushed her head down making me bi and very quiet again. Laughing at my expense, I said I didn’t remember that. She said I still get shy when we play. No longer nervous like the first time I still get excited. I never thought of myself as shy.

Very quick talk. Before we met for the act we met twice, the second time we spoke openly. Both women are on birth control and none of us has had sex out of marriage. None of us has bought a condom in forever. Decided we don’t need. Going forward if when we play with more experienced active swingers it brings up the question of how we will deal with this question. HPV vaccines are common for us, forgot that many of you are older and never got vaccinated.

I agree. A woman's sexual experience doesn't depend on the number of different dicks she's had in her, just the total number of times. The slut factor depends on how many men (and maybe women) she has going at the same time.

I think no. 3 with mfm has more weight to compute for one's slut GPA 🙂

I love watching my wife have sex with another man. It's really one of my favorite things in swinging. When we first got into swinging, I tried very hard to figure out why. I mean, how can you enjoy watching such a thing? Society programs us to reject that. But, I do love it. I gave up trying to explain it, and just enjoy watching :) You never have to push. Bring it up with your wife again, explore it together, see where you are. See what she wants to do. Life is short. Live now :)

Enjoy what you have, no reason to rush to find others. As exciting as new partners are you have plenty of time to explore. We are now enjoying a small group that truly enjoys being together.

Thanks for the reply. We’re completely new and have never gone outside the marriage. We’ve talked about it for years and she’s been agreeable, but I’ve never pushed it. The last few years I’ve started fantasizing about watching another man with her.

Your post is giving me hope that real compatible people exist on line. You did everything that others say you should do, meet, get to know the others as they really are with no sexual expectation before making the plan to go forward. Your introduction to swinging is the loveliest one you can ask for, playful, funny with the ending and beginning you all were seeking. Wear you t shirt proudly.

I wonder if you're not putting too much pressure on yourself. I don't mean this as a slight, but maybe you just need to lighten up. We like to look at these adventures as just that, adventures. We also try to be playful, laugh, giggle, be okay with being uncomfortable and even awkward. If you are both new to this, then all the better. Be weird, clumsy, and nervous together as a group. I might suggest that your first meet up include other activities not specifically focused on getting naked in bed. We have gone to restaurants and flirted, girls without panties, traded partners and touched each other under the table. We've been to nude beaches or private hot tubs. We've gone to clubs and partied with a lot of added sexual tension. We've been to art openings, flirted, looked at art, traded time with each others spouse, kissed each other knowing that we couldn't have sex in the studio but might later on. It is a real turn on as a married couple to be kissing two women/men in public. It was a build up, but offered an opportunity to test the waters and spark the juices. I remember one time when it was my wife, a single guy and myself (MFM) at a club. We were dancing, touching, really being sexy on the dance floor. She was kissing both of us. Guys in the crowd were like, WTF. Trying to approach her, but she would tell them she was with us. That she was going to fuck us both later. The looks on the others faces was priceless. But the point is we were having sexy fun. Enjoying ourselves. Some of these evenings ended without any 'sex' and they were still a blast. If you're kind, honest, open and respectful you really can't go wrong. Have fun...

Not sure we understand the question, but that's one reason we have first 'dates' where everyone knows that play is not on the board...to take the pressure off. Before we get together to play, we discuss what is okay and what isn't (and we check in on this just about every time we are planning on getting together). We check because this can (and usually) changes as comfort levels and rules adapt. We then don't try to push them to go any further than they are comfortable with. We are looking for long term friends (with benefits) and not just a quick roll in the hay, so we are all about trust and respect for everyone involved. If the other wife is interested in kissing Ms. Gold, then that is okay IF is happens (and okay if it doesn't), but nothing more is expected. It's all about trust and communication with everyone involved. While we don't have very many rules these days, one of them will always be "don't move any faster than the slowest member is comfortable with". This is supposed to be something me and Ms. Gold enjoy together, and we want the other couple to be enjoying it as well...and we have the rest of our lives so there really isn't a big rush...take your time and enjoy the experience. Hope that answers part of your question...(?) Also: still should be excited and not terrified. If you are really terrified, you might need to take a step back and see what is causing the terror.

That is what the stories section of this website are for

I left my terror feelings at the door and it followed me in. Meeting a couple that will work with your fears is what is needed. You are now on equal ground with another couple opening up to their fears. Jokes and laughing takes away the fear that every new situation brings not only sexual situations. You will always remember the first time you meet, your meeting was a success without sex, you made friends.

Relieved. I’m relieved, they are relieved. An hour before we were going to meet I got a text, can we talk? Followed by a call. She said they didn’t want to ghost us, they are having second thoughts. I burst out Thank You. I told her how terrified I was, I was still convincing myself that it would be fine. After exposing our fears she said they would still want to meet us just not for “you know”. 90 minutes later we met them at restaurant bar. Relieved. They looked better in IRL. Pictures were current. Conversation started slow with the men quiet, I tried to talk normal shit. I didn’t know how to start sex talk, when it did we tried to keep the talk low so nobody would hear us. Once we started the talk became funny and the men warmed up. It’s hard to say why we want to meet to others, I’m still asking myself. We all had sex stories to share finally leading what we would do if we did do it. Kissing, oral, condoms, we both are on the same bc. It was easy for me to admit sexual things I never told anyone, she was going head to head with her past. The guys weren’t as open they just laughed. Three drinks in I think I asked if he still wants to fuck me, she asked the same of us. Both guys said a big YES. No sex yet, we plan to meet and try this again. On the drive home I felt better and said if we met someone experienced we would like be swingers now. He asked me if would feel better that way. I was happy to know our new contact were very much like us, terrified and now relieved. We will find out if they liked us as much as we enjoyed our meet. I also know I will still be terrified if we make plans, and I am sure she will be too. Our adventure is to be continued. I’m sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for juicy graphic post.

Go to Pornhub and do a search for amateur cuckold porn! There will be thousands of videos to choose from. Yes lots of them will be BBC, but there are still lots that are not.

Right, but the reason we are asking is because we are not in the lifestyle yet. The porn would be use to enhance the fantasy and give us the courage to actually go to a LS event.

Wife and I started in the swinging lifestyle in early 70's and from the very start we decided that condoms were not required. Of course this was way before AIDS and she was on the pill but we both thought the condom would take away the pleasure. From the very first every guy she fucked came in her pussy. At first she would douche after fucking another guy but one night I got to her before she did the douche and though she protested once I got my tongue in her cunt she was so turned on by the FACT THAT I WAS LICKING HER LOVER'S CUM FROM HER PUSSY THAT SHE HAD AN INTENSE ORGASM. I grabbed her butt and pulled her pussy to my face and loved the feel and taste. Then I slipped my own cock into her slick cunt and it felt so great. She said "you are going to mix your cum with his, aren't you?" You can bet I did, that time and every other time when she fucked another guy - and there were many other guys over the years, but her pussy never wore out and all the fellows loved her hairy cunt.

What I find interesting is the curiosity about how many different people someone, especially a woman, has had sex with. Explain to me what difference it would make in how you would approach these three women, all the same age now and all started fucking at the same age. Woman 1: got married as a virgin and has had sex every which way only with her husband 10,000 times. Woman 2: serially monogamous and has had sex a total of 1,000 times, but with 50 different men. Woman 3: had sex with only two men and a total of only 1,000 times, but many times it was MFM with both of them. Does having Lesbian partners add to anything? There are different ways that a woman can earn her slut badge, not just by the number of different partners.

It may not have been a joke. It turns me on incredibly when a woman is doing that dance where she shifts her weight from leg to leg as she pushes whatever she is wearing on the bottom past her hips. When it's the final reveal, even more so.

Two high schoolers going at it in the back of the SUV, it was over quickly and the boy said, "If I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken longer." She replies, "If I knew you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose first."

In totals, I had 12, my ex-wife had 22 by the time we split (not counting whatever she was doing with women in college), and my current wife says somewhere around 60.