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Exactly. I think there is a very powerful argument that separates sex from marriage, and therefore a couple can be monogamous and still have multiple sexual partners or interactions while married. Sex has been so weaponized and creates so much shame, connecting it to being faithful, monogamous or in love is simply a power play by the church, parents, and partners to continue the shaming of those that enjoy sex, mostly though to shame women.

They have always been faithful. They have shifted initially from non-monogamy to monogamy. They have left the door open for something close to "monogamish". Latter is a neologism from Dan Savage, but has mainstreamed, see this from 2016 https://www.glamour.com/story/what-is-monogamish

I am a purist. Monogamy is a compilation of two Greek words that cobined literally means to be married to ONE. It has little if anything directly to do with who put what into which orifices, or who those orifices belong to. While sex and one person restrictions make sense as far as determining lineage go, it has little if anything to do with marriage in any other sense. Marriage is a contractual and "spiritual" union which demands exclusive priorities and complete loyalty, for life, hopefully. We consider ourselves monogamous even though we do play with others.

I will always be suspicious of any rationalization that begins or ends with, "I'm doing this for her."

This is how the usual disaster happens. Husband wants to swing. Wife says no. Husband convinces wife to have an MFM or do something solo hoping that she will come around to letting him play later. Wife really enjoys the extra cock but still doesn't want him to play. Husband gets mad and tells wife they are done. Wife has a hissy fit. Drama. The other type is husband and wife decide to have an "open" marriage. Wife finds a boytoy by the weekend. Husband is still pulling his pud three months later. Husband wants to call it quits. Wife is in love with boytoy. Drama. Now if you are more a "hot wife" type than a swinger, sure it might work out for you. We have just seen a number of "totally fine" guys in one sided relationships who are not totally fine later, so the warning is more of a blanket statement. Maybe for you its going to be fine. Personally I think anything "unequal" is bad in marriage.