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It has turned out very well so far. I actually find the group dates really hot, since the "waiting" has become moments of excitement, partly because I look forward to "my turn", so to speak, and partly because it is a turn-on to see the other girls get visible orgasms with him; I have also had a couple private dates with him, and they were super-hot as well. So I have essentially learned to enjoy both types of dates, haha.

Northeast, you have come to a good place. Members of this board will support you and your wife and share their experiences in swinging and other aspects of ethical non-monogamy. It will be up to the two of you to sort out what you find is useful. My recommendation for a good next step (after joining this board) is for the two of you to read and discuss the classic volume on ethical non-monogamy, "The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love". (https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664?nodl=1&dplnkId=ed37f918-0442-4b13-be61-1057456ced95) Some of the content you may find resonates with you, other aspects not so much. But hopefully you will both agree with a central theme — that openness, honesty and consideration for your partner(s) are of critical importance. Reading this book will help the two of you as individuals and as partners in your marriage locate yourselves and your interests within the broader context of the lifestyle. And you will see where as individuals your interests and attitudes are coincident and where they diverge.

Hello northeast. Stop talking and start listening. You have presented your case; let her weigh the evidence. Do not pressure her; in this hobby, the wagon moves as fast as the slowest horse (which is your wife at this point). There exist lots of options for the two of you to gently navigate these waters; perhaps visit a lifestyle club and make a pact between the two of you beforehand that you are there strictly to observe, nothing more. This is a good first step. Keep talking, but more importantly, keep listening.

What Daniela and I found as we went from regular swinging/couples swaps to being in our closed group of married couples is how much more intense the experience is for both of us having sex with people who are deeply in love with someone else. Burned in my memory are the times that I picked up the wife of another man for us to go on a vacation together, the sweet goodbyes that they gave each other; and same when my wife went off for her first overnight with another couple - the love she showed for me in the departing grasp of her hand.

The nature of the other couples relationship is what initially attracts us. Are they in love? Are they committed to one another, do they touch, and look each other in the eyes? Do they have their act together (from a swinging perspective)? This is fundamental for us.

Almost every time we would look at a couples profile Missus E would find the woman attractive, but not be interested in the male at all. Many times it would be, because there would be lots of pics of the wife and nothing but dick pics for the husband which is absolutely useless for her determining if she finds him attractive. Honestly the lack of effort by so many men is embarrassing as a man. It is one of the reasons we don’t bother with couples anymore. There was just never much out there for men she found attractive enough to want to meet. She is not much interested in random sex with just anybody when she can have sex with someone she actually finds attractive anytime.

It’s fun to do that. What we look at are fully clothed pictures because how they dress gives us an idea of their personalities. You can’t tell a book by its cover but the cover is the first thing you see, you will never know the real people or what a book is about until getting passed the cover. Everyone here has an objective, getting naked and sex, yet so many of us are sexier looking with clothes on. Our primary focus has always been the latter, we started looking for that unicorn. The best is you are doing the search together and are having fun. Your searches will continue to change as your wants will change. You took 2 major jumps, swinging and sexual likes.

There is someone looking for someone just like you, so don't just hang back. There are a number of reasons people enjoy swinging: having an exciting experience with someone you think is hot, watching your spouse as if he/she is a porn star, knowing that your spouse is enjoying him/herself, giving pleasure to a sex partner, and a forgotten on - appreciating and showing appreciation for a sex partner's characteristics that are not usually appreciated. For example, in our group there is one woman who has an unusually loose pussy and she knows it, but I love it, especially when she is sloppy. It is extremely difficult for me to cum with her, but when I do it is the most intense orgasm ever for me. She can tell how much I like it, I compliment her for the great orgasms, and she is flattered. In our group there is a guy with a bent dick who one woman seeks out because in the proper position he really hits her spot. Another young wife has saggy breasts with her nipples pointing downwards. Two of the other guys think that they are beautiful and she is the sexiest woman around. They particularly like for her to assume various poses, particularly on all fours, and see how her tits fall. Another woman has a post-baby belly paunch which one guy is crazy about. One of the wives likes the way I can extend an intercourse session, sometimes stopping moving altogether for a while, then pretty much cum on command when she is ready. So just a way to say whatever you think is a deficiency in yourself is something that will be prized by another sex partner. So perhaps as a couple you should put yourself out that way, as you up front with all of your characteristics, and include plenty of pictures. Describe your husband more briefly and include just one fully clothed picture of him. That way you'll know that the responding couple, maybe both him and her, are already interested in you. Keep us updated on your adventures.

We agree that cum is a sexy thing to play with. He likes to lick cum off her body. He has also had a guy cum in his mouth. However, much like the original poster, he's not much interested in a "traditional" gay relationship but more as an additive to our intimate relationship.

Hi everyone just wanted to say thank you all for your advice and just post a little update. Unfortunetley despite everything we ended up separating he made the descision a couple of months ago. He really tried and I knew he did he went to therapy, we talked lots but he was still uncomfortable and he finally told me a couple of months ago he could not do this anymore. I think the mental image for him was just hard for him to get over and no matter how much I told him I loved him he just said he had that little voice in the back of his head telling him to walk away. I will probably not post here again but all of you were so nice with your advice so you deserved an update and wanted to say thank you despite everything.