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To add: As opposed to full swap which is great but often more rushed, goal orientated if you will, on a timeline and often a one off but can develop much of the same above, but more often is over a two to three hour meet/party/club experience in one setting with only a few hours window of opportunity and under an hour, many times 30 minutes, to enjoy. All is good….my point is the slower…..erotic….sensual exploration of soft swap.

We have enjoyed so many situations, pairings, curiosities, group, themes, fetishes, desires often discovering new curiosities, interests and desires. The best has always been with soft swap, prolonged experimentation…discovery….build up, peaking and release to rest, talk and begin again. The times it was spent in casual contact, watching, being watched….inclusion. And many times that it grows and expands, new experiences new acceptances…….accepting. many of our longest intimate friends started slow, hesitantly, exploring, holding back, inquiring, accepting and then relishing in all the we experienced. The act of soft swap is much more sensual, a slow touch, never a rush……a slower simmer. And much more often repeatable….over the same time period, an afternoon, evening, weekend. And when a connection is made…..many times in the future opening for a better longer term relationship that offers social, intimate, friendship a special closer relationship of couples.

In a committed relationship, a change-up is required at least occasionally. This is needed without regard to age. Libido can go either up or down with age and there are at least a dozen factors that could influence this change. From my experience, as a man, the guiding principle is "use it or loose it". My interest in sex goes down right after finishing the sex act. But within an hour, interest is back up again. But if I go a long time (days) not having sex, it's takes more thought and effort to get back into the groove. After menopause, my wife became a virtual sex machine. And she needed little help from me for this. I understand that the hormone shift does exactly the opposite for some women.

This is for older couples primarily, but could apply to any group.The question boils down to, as you get older does sex become a little less fun or does sex with the same loving person, become a little less exciting? Does life become simply routine or is the sex drive simply not demanding as much attention? Or do couples simply get bored with each other? Guess i'm wondering how to raise the heat level in an otherwise great relationship

For several years when business took me to Austin I played with a hotwife couple who lived there. They introduced me to Hippie Hollow, which I enjoyed with them. I later took a female vanilla friend who’d never been to a nude beach. HHgirl, I hope you live to be 100 and that you have good health that allows you to still enjoy sex. My brother-in-law, never expecting an elderly couple might still want sex or be capable of it walked in during siesta on my then 85-year-old mom and her 92-year-old boyfriend. They were in the midst of male superior missionary intercourse. My sisters and I (all of us blessed with strong and durable libidos) were pleased for our mom and took reassurance for our own futures. That said, I’m very glad it was my sister’s husband who walked in on them and not me. Because, you know, King Lear…😳🙄😱 (As I’ve noted in comments on posts elsewhere on this board, when I was in my early 60s I played at a party with a couple who were in their mid-80s and had been having sex as a couple with others since they first married in the late 1940s.)

I just had mine fingered today actually

M loves her dual density doc Johnson from lovehoney. Closest thing to the real thing she says.

True, but if into ass play should always be prepared. Find a partner who puts the effort into finding the spot and never look back. Intense all over orgasm. Best male experience ever in my view.. Lasts so long.

Unexpectedly? That could have an unpleasant “outcome”

I’m a woman but can say if a man enjoys it why not do it. I had a lover who took my hand and placed it on his butt during oral not know he wanted my finger in there until he guided my finger in. I thought I was doing a very good job with him in my mouth when he kept say deeper, I already was full deep throat on him. Your finger deeper was gasped out as he reached the point.

I've always enjoyed when a woman does that unexpectedly during a blowjob. One particularly memorable occasion at a swing club with a random couple we met that night graduated to her clasping her hands and two index fingers together at her waist and getting behind me and mimed fucking me. She surely enjoys pegging but didn't have the equipment on hand. I thoroughly enjoyed that but I could certainly see that being a problem with people who have hangups.

Should wear a glove or at least a finger cot and lube all of which remove the unexpected. I do enjoy a mutual bare digits experience in a roomy shower with lots of Rainbath or similar mild lubricating soap, great times!

My second wife (I’ve had three in total) was a clinical psychologist and a certified sex therapist. I recall early in our relationship she said (I’m paraphrasing here more than 40 years later) “Women tell men that size doesn’t matter, but the truth is that to most women it does.“ (She could be painfully frank, but judged my penis to be modestly larger in length and in girth than average but not huge. At this point in my life, after a couple of decades in the lifestyle, I’ve literally seen a couple hundred erect penises and what I’ve seen suggests she was being her candid self and not simply flattering a new boyfriend she didn’t wish to discourage.) I know there are some Size Queen in the lifestyle, but I believe for even for most women, lifestyle & vanilla, who care about the size of their partner‘s direct penis, it’s only one factor among a number on which they subjectively judge the quality of a sexual partner. Nice to have, but far from essential. I should also note that for many surprising number of women a penis can be too long and/or too wide. The wife in a couple I’ve played with on a number of occasions told me, while we were watching a well endowed fellow fuck one of the other women at the party, that he had approached her over the years on a number of occasions and she had always declined, on the basis of his erect penis being too large for her to have an enjoyable fuck with him.

Considering that my wife and I have been married longer than some in this group have been around (54 years) and that alone will put us in the category of older -- I prefer the term "Mature". Enough of that and I will try to answer your questions. Considering the social pressures at the time of our marriage, our sex was limited to missionary until I could cum and that was it. My dear wife got nothing out of the experience but --- some sperm. Many, many years later (maybe 35 or 40) I started to learn how to please her so she enjoyed the experience.While my wife had never complained, neither of us really knew any better. Fast forward to about 15 years ago (2000),I felt that the romance was gone from our marriage and commenced to read more on how to move out of our rut --- it had become very boring even though we still had frequent sex; about 2 to 3 time a week. My wife was now accepting of different positions and new foreplay techniques. Mind you, she still harbored many of those Bible interpretations that may pastors preach that are not really in the Bible. This feeling of hers has been a very large mountain to climb and has been a major block to any possible swinging adventure. We are satisfied with sex a couple times a week but now we both really focus on the intensity of pleasure that we both receive. Yes, even at our age, we have a more enjoyable physical experience than 15 or 20 years ago. One thing that has really help was the purchase of Philo Thelos "Divine Sex". I purchased the book and never asked or pressured her to read it but she did pick it up and has already read about 1/2 of it. I can see a difference in her already. When I first brought up the subject of swinging, she had a very typical response -- "You don't love me", "You just want to have sex with other women", etc. Today there is still very good sex, no heated discussions and yes, we still love each other very much. Yes -- I would like to experience sex with other women! My wife should experience other men as well. I do experience stress and tiredness as I still work every day in our laboratory and am building another new house. So I can really identify with other men even though they may be 20 or 30 years younger but I enjoy sex and giving pleasure to my wife; that is always goal Number 1. I hope that our roller coaster sex life answers you question but if not just fire your queries my way.

I think this can apply to other aspects of life in general and not just sex. Eating the same dish can get boring. Spicing it up with different cooking methods or herbs can help. Sometimes trying a completely different dish can be great, as well. Some dishes won't be to your liking but at least you tried it. Having the exact same routine every day can get boring. Wake up, groom yourself, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, have dinner, sleep, and repeat. Going on vacations help with the monotony. Sometimes changing to a different job or retiring is needed. Maybe moving to a different location is needed to shake things up. To answer your questions directly, sex with the same person depends on the two people involved. Do you two do the same exact thing every time? Have you tried toys? New techniques? Increasing foreplay time? New positions? Role playing? Games? Sexting? Do you two put in the effort to seduce each other or do you two take each other for granted? For many people, life in general can play a part in one's libido. Stress from work, family, and/or school can affect one's sex drive. Health issues can as well. It all depends on what you put as a priority in your life. If work is at the top of the list, that is where your time and energy is focused and everything else can fall to the wayside. If you place your spouse at the top, then you focus on their happiness and what you can do to make them happy. Hopefully, they place you as top priority and you both work to make life easier for each other. Desiring to see each other's pleasure in the bedroom will naturally follow and you each will do what you are capable to keep things "hot" in the bedroom. Of course, life does get in the way so be cognizant and set aside time for each other every day!