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My wife and I have attended a few parties, and we've been out on double dates where we participated in soft swap and hard swaps depending on the other couples preferences. However, when we started discussing the idea of opening our relationship to others the thing that my wife couldn't get out of her head was when I mentioned hotwifing and I told her just the thought that she could be out there cheating on me with another man was sexy as hell. The idea of cheating turned her on. She couldn't get it out of her head. She loved the naughtiness of cheating. So she took it a step farther. She agreed to us sleeping with other people but she wanted it to feel like a real affair. As she talked she laid out what she desired this to look like, I was incredibly turned on by the entire thing. So I agreed to her requests. They were pretty simple. 1. She and I sleep with whomever we want, excluding each others family. 2. We can play solo with anyone we want. 3. She never has to tell me who she is sleeping with nor ask permission. 4. I am permitted to do anything in my power to catch her in her affairs. 5. If I catch her I have to confront her and then she will tell me everything. In an effort to catch her in the slutty act I've turned myself into a bit of a super sluth. I purchased some nanny cams and hidden cameras and set them up throughout my house. I have 2 in the living room, 1 in the dinning room, 1 in the kitchen. 2 in the bedroom, 1 in the guest room, 1 in the master bathroom focused on the shower and the tub. I installed a ring doorbell to see whoes. I also bought a couple apple airtags and attached one under the seat of her car and I put one in the lining of her purse. I travel for work frequently and I have had a fair number of nights where I got to watch some very sexy videos of my wife fucking around behind my back. I've also caught her having sex in her van as well. And I even followed her to another guys house using the airtags and saw her having sex with a guy in his hot tub. 🔥 this sexy game of cat and mouse has become one of our favorite games. So I know most couples want complete transparency but does anyone else get off on the idea of your spouse fucking around behind their back?

Not really. We were making decent progress towards reconnecting, being happier, getting our own sex life back to a level I found acceptable and had a couple of talks about resuming threesomes. Ironically her interest seemed to be exclusively towards bringing another woman in rather then couples or single men. This all came to an abrupt halt a few weeks back when her father had some health issues pop up (stroke) which we have had to take the primary role in handling. She's stressed and irritable, sex is infrequent, our communication is down and the lifestyle isn't even on her radar... in fact she just stopped responding to the few LS friends we still have and many of our vanilla ones as well. I'm trying to be supportive through it all, but these aren't the most fun times.

I think if you're mentally uncomfortable with the act - and lots of guys are - then you're not going to enjoy it. But with many things in the Lifestyle, if it didn't sit right the first time - it's probably worth a second try 😊

- Bareback does indeed amp things up significantly. For the record, I'm snipped, so there are no swimmers in my ejaculate, but I could grasp what you're saying and both the wife and I *greatly* prefer bare--much stronger connection... the wife also loves the feeling of a man cuming inside her, though creampies are on the rarer side for her in LS play. This is why the recent blow up is confusing--this isn't unchartered territory.

- I take ownership of that mis-step and posted in bold above "I failed here". I do acknowledge it and understand it caused fall out, but I should also add this was a year ago and we've both had at least a dozen partners since my screw up. We've been doing this for a few years and don't really have rules, per se, more like guidelines, but I think the introduction of more structured rules would certainly avoid misunderstandings. For the record, I'm not trying to pile on blame my wife so much as I am trying to understand what is going on internally and devise a strategy going forward so we can return to having our cake and eating it too, as we were previously enjoying.

I just had one of my fantasies fullfilled. A gang bang with 6 guys. I'm still a little tired but it was wonderful.