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We always found it hard to find a good match for both of us when we were still swapping with others! More often than not we would both be attracted to the wife, but she would not at all be attracted to the husband. Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of guys that think they can just ride on the back of their attractive wives without putting much effort into themselves. We see absolutely no point in having sex with people we are not attracted to. Already have our ideal one on one partner with each other and neither of us feel the need for an ego boast by having more partners. One of the many reasons we no longer do the swap thing. For some people a strong attraction is not needed and that is great for them, but for us it just doesn’t work that way. 13 years into our relationship and we both still have the same lust and fire for each other that we did when we started our incredible journey together. I think if nothing else swinging only reinforced that for us. If a top notch situation for both of us pops up in the lifestyle we would jump on board. Otherwise we will just continue enjoying the amazing sexual connection we have with each other.

Most of us who somehow find the courage to reach back into our memories of young adulthood will recall many dates and matches that...did not go well. Truth was that finding a 1:1 match that was fun and felt right for both parties took a lot of time, energy, and "um...good luck on your journey...bye". Those in our orbit who are now single in older adulthood report much the same circumstance...except potential matches now have "a history", expectations, and battle scars. They all report "nope, nope, nope, NO, nope..." when scanning through potential partners. Which brings us to couples' dating. Even though the agenda is quite different, there is still a matching process. Each person in the foursome has to have some interest and enjoy being around the other three. When all four (as each should) have veto power, the likelihood of getting to "Both of us enjoy being around both of you to make the choice to spend time...in public and in private with you" is predictably low. Moreover, time and distance narrows opportunity and choice. As adults, we all have other things to do than "find a date, get ready for a date, go on a date". enhancer (just above-thanks!) makes the key point: " we both still have the same lust and fire for each other that we did when we started our incredible journey together. I think if nothing else swinging only reinforced that for us. If a top notch situation for both of us pops up in the lifestyle we would jump on board. Otherwise we will just continue enjoying the amazing sexual connection we have with each other." We'll add one more thing, though: we have a fantasy of actually bringing together the couples who seems to show up consistently in the threads that we respond to. The values are shared, the perspectives add to our own, and we think we would enjoy meeting all y'all. While there would certainly be some 'nope, not that couple' when meeting for real, we think the odds of finding matches would be much higher now that we have gotten to know you through the SB site.

Me and my wife have been married for 10 years and have always talked about it, now we finally tried it. We both had a blast even thought things didn't work out so well. The guy we picked for our first threesome ended up being so nervous he couldn't get it up. I left the room and gave him and her about 30 mins. As soon as I came back to the room he went limp again. Me and her started going at it while he watched. He rubbed and kissed on her and she was sucking him but nothing worked. We both kept reassuring him, but he just stayed too nervous I guess. It was such a big turn on for me watching them mess around. He was a really cool guy and would like to give him another chance. We felt comfortable enough with him she is going to his place alone while I'm at work. See if he can get it up, that way maybe next time he will be ok with all of us. Any suggestions, or has this happened to anyone else? Our luck, we finally did it and he couldn't get it up. Haha.

Hedonism is more open sexually, but we like Couples San Souci because of the nude beach and it only allows couples, no singles. Couples is nicer accommodations than Hedomism. Both are about 2 hours away from the airport so be prepared for the shuttle ride. When you get on the nude beaches, people are very friendly and you will be approached by likewise couples.

If I notice that he is nervous I'll go first. Watching her getting fucked usually makes him hard. If not she'll suck him. If I notice that is not working I'll leave the room.

I don't think that's odd at all. When I'm getting a blowjob, I'm still able to view everything that's going on around me. If there were something that would make me nervous, the blowjob might distract me from it, but it wouldn't block it out. Kissing is different. The fact that the woman is literally, in my face means that she can effectively block (both visually, and in awareness) the rest of the world. Additionally, kissing doesn't necessarily preclude other activity, like a handjob or at least groping and rubbing. So, a good kisser can most certainly help get the ball rolling.

Well, things didn't work out so well. She stayed with him and they had a great time. They had sex all night. She came home and told me all about it and we had sex a few times. He calls her today and tells my wife he can't see us anymore because he has a GF and feels horrible. Then he tells us he lied about his age, considerably older than what he said. My wife told him he was an ass. I don't understand why you would go so far then think about how supposedly committed he is to his GF. Back to the start now.