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One thing that our experience with Joe and Shannon has brought to my mind again is my attitude and need for sex. Compared to food and eating, it’s totally different. I almost always skip breakfast, but a morning quickie and getting an O (usually by a dick, but sometimes a licking) is a regular thing for me. If I don’t do it the morning before work, it’s almost a superstitious thing for me that my attitude will be bad and things will go wrong during the day. Lunch is light and I try to stick to a salad, although with stuff on it. When I get home from work, I’m hungry but can hold my desire in check, eat slowly and deliberately, looking at each morsel and be satisfied with not a lot. I still weigh within a few pounds of what I did in high school. But at night I ask for, get, and greedily take all that I want in bed for 30 to 60 minutes before sleep. And I sleep well. Sometimes I think that the time could be put to better use, I could exercise more, read a book, and I am determined to do so. But then something happens as I feel the body of someone I love as I wake up, or as I finalize putting the kids away for the night and think about the possibilities, which man’s bed I will sleep in, which woman will join me there, my mind becomes irrational. I don’t have that trouble with food.

I don’t know what the conversations were between Shannon and Joe on the way home, but I communicated with both of them since and know a couple of things. First, they have said that the experience with us has “really opened things up between them” (Joe) and “broken down a barrier about sex” (Shannon). Shannon said that Joe has move on from repeating the slut and whore thing that he likes to say to wanting to talk about what she did with Red and David (and Clair and Lora and me) and hear tales of her past sexual experiences that she never revealed in the past. Shan says that she has both expanded the list of men and women that she admits to having sex before she met Joe to “all,” and goes into detail about what they did and how she enjoyed it. She also tells of what she would like to have done, but didn’t. The other side of it is for us, we’ve talked about our play with them a lot and it has fired things up for us as well. The major even was the Wednesday after, I got home from work to the kids being gone, and the others in various states of undress. Clair was topless, which was incredibly exciting to me, David was wearing just a t-shirt with his dick hanging, that was funny. They came at me from different sides, not saying anything, serious, and started pulling my clothes off. Red cut off my bra. I’ve tried to think of the best word to describe it, but the word I keep coming back to is that I was raped, but totally not in a bad way, by my two husbands and my two wives. My entire life sex has always started with a suggestion, a proposal from someone for me to go along, and 99% of the time I accepted, and when I didn’t, he moved on. This time I wasn’t asked, it wasn’t with my consent, but I wasn’t forced. Like being “kidnapped”, pushed into a car and taken someplace like a great restaurant without being asked. What distinguished the sex this time was the infrequent occurrence of me having FFM intercourse with both men one after another while they were fresh, getting a full measure of their ejaculate. Red fucked me missionary while Clair sat on my face grinding into me, then David did me doggy while I licked Lora. Then the girls went down on me. I never had so many orgasms in such a short time. So it wasn't just Joe and Shannon having some crazy fucking after our experience.

My feeling is most have entered into swinging in a way much different from the way I did. I didn’t go looking for a swinger I met women who I became attracted to in a social or business environment. Physical attraction might have been the impetus to form a friendship where I was able to see more to the person. I never hid my marriage and then spending a night was a natural progression. My wife had a different path finding men online. She didn’t get to know personalities before agreeing to meet them. Profiles, pictures and maybe a pre meet conversation, she is less interested in the person more in the physical. My wife has set up the meetings I am involved with, I have gone along for the most part. It is hard to turn down sex. I just wish I had interest in the partners of the men she finds. Meeting others on here is an interesting thought. I’m not sure what anyone looks like, I know there are some pictures posted. Drinks and dinner, some laughs and stories, most of the interesting posts that are real are from a different generation I suspect.

Hi all. I'm a newbie from Northern Michigan here. What's prompted me to get on various swinger boards is the one most common fantasy my wife shares with me is wanting to be fucklicked. We often discuss fantasies of a threesome or foursome while in bed. Doing so seems to really get her hot. Me too! I'm totally OK with doing a MFM with her, or whatever other combo she's willing to try. I've told her that as well, usually as she sharing her fantasy me responding "I'm ok with that". But that's where it ends. She's pretty conservative in public. A club setting absolutely out. Kind of shy. Mid fifties. Great shape and good looking. We've been married over 30 years. She's a "thinker", so I'm concerned if it's something pre-arranged, such she's expecting it, she will over think it, and back out. That leads me to consider doing some prescreening, arrange a meeting with a candidate, likely a few meetings and let some chemistry start and see where it goes from there. Perhaps find someone with common interests (camping and motorcycling are our areas of interest BTW). Let a friendship develop first. But that seems disingenuous. How do I best move this to the next stage and actually do something? Thanks in advance for your input!

We clicked with those we knew before any sex. Friends first is frowned upon by many on here for many reasons, for us it let us have fun without the extra burden of unknown personalities.

After years of meeting others alone, I had affairs, she is on an affairs site, we have played together a number of times. We now are on a site together trying to find a match, someone who interests her and a wife that I’m attracted to. There so many possibilities except when she finds a man that attracts her, I am not that attracted to the woman. It goes the other way too, we are having difficulty finding the perfect find. I find I usually defer to her choices, just going through the motions of enjoying. I thought we found a good match, physically attractive to both of us and then we met as the attraction faded. Do others find perfect matches, four people truly interested in the others? Or do you just suck it up for the sake of sex for a night.

Do others have that One Special friend in the lifestyle that you play with? We decided sex with others could and would be fun, sex with no attachment to enjoy sex and new sexual adventures. Our marriage is secure and our love has never waned before or after our active summer. My husband had a limited sex life before me, a thing he hates me repeating. I was not overly sexual before just more active. We discussed before joining a site that we should experience more sexual variety. How can I be his best if he had very little to compare even if I end up not being the best. If the better is out there I want him to enjoy. Truth I also wanted sex for sex with no pretense of love or relationship. Now the summer of exploration is over that led us to a relationship with the original find. No promises of just them or just us for them, we aren’t forming a poly family we are going to enjoy the special feeling we have for them. Do others have that special relationship?

We have a special couple that we frequently swing with. Though not the only couple we play with we possibly play with them 90% 9f the time. We don't frequent clubs or go for casual hook-ups. Does that fit the typical swingers pattern?

They meet on the beach or the pool with a bar at the beach. Another good spot is the martini bar before or after dinner. People are easy to meet and very friendly, we usually go in September but from what I have learned is that January thru May is the time that most people visit.

Definitely the wrong guy. The proper story would be that he has a girlfriend and she wants to join in. They're not a lifestyle team.

Me and my wife tried our first MFM threesome literally just a couple of days ago with a guy we met on a site. We had met up with him for a drink a week before hand to get an idea of what he was like and what he was into and he is a fab guy, super chilled and laid back. we booked an apartment for a night had a few drinks and some food and got really comfortable and come the main event everything was fine… to begin with. she started teasing us both at the same time, stroking and sucking as such, I got behind her to fuck her while she sucked him and about 5 mins in my hard on had reduced to a semi!! Weird thing was so did he!! We put it down to nerves to begin with so just carried on fumbling around with each other, but as the night progressed, it just kept happening. We made use of other talents we had and it was still a good night but just didn’t seem as fun as we all wanted it to be, he managed to stay harder longer than me, and by the end i kinda just gave up. When he wasn’t around I was fine for the most part. I don’t really understand why this happened as I was completely comfortable with the guy being there with my wife and me and my wife was all dressed up sexy as hell. Any ideas guys on what I could try or what was affecting us maybe?

My experience was somewhat similar along that progression. Moved in as roommate. Then became playmates. Then in a poly relationship.

Within our closed group of married couples, Daniela has one couple that is special and plays with frequently, both alone with each and FFM. I, on the other hand, have two women in our group with whom I have specially close relationships. One is purely sexual. The other centers around our common interests that our spouses find boring. We have gone on vacations together to enjoy our pursuits, and of course, sex. It has worked well all around.

All of them are special and different and wonderful. Each woman is a new feeling and a new way and I look forward to all the differences of the looks, the feeling, the sounds, the aromas and the tastes. Lin has her favorites for reasons that are similar to mine though she will normally tell me some men are just better.

We have a special couple, the first couple, the couple we were friends with before ever thinking about swinging. The wife is my wife’s best friend. I trust them without question and enjoy being with them socially. We consider them Special just not our sole partners.

Yes, we had a very special couple. After we got to know them well over a few dates, it turned into a swinging and vanilla relationship - we met their family and they met ours, we traveled together, we went on dates that had little to do with sex. But neither they nor us were 'faithful' to each other, both couples felt free to include others in sexy play, with or without the other couple.

We had that one special friends we played with that were the only friends we needed. They lived far enough away that our meetings were extra special and all the excitement I needed. Everyone knows that every partner is different in how they do or move when allowed to explore. Our new sexual lover brought me to heights in a different way from my husband. Different not saying better. These friends opened up my sexuality exploring a side I never even knew I had. We still have that Special Couple, as you labeled your friends yet we have explored outside of that relationship against my original ideas. I was very happy with what we had with them with no reason to expand until we did. My suggestion is to go with what you are comfortable with. Try to dispose of any guilt feelings which was my original halt. We are not active like others who post we just play when occasions happen like the stars aligning. I found occasional new experiences are indeed exciting.

I’m keep thinking part of the fun this summer was being free to new partners. This is going against my own post about having that special friend and not needing new over and over then thinking t about the excitement of doing the opposite. No decision has to be definitive.

We have been dating one other couple for over 10 years and just in the last year they moved further away. We still see each other...once in a great while, but are thinking it may be time to find to find another couple or couples and form a small group. With Covid and how difficult (but totally worth the difficulty) it was to find that elusive spark for all involved, we have had a hard time getting started again.

The last week of August, Shannon texted David and me saying that she and Joe are visiting relatives in a nearby town and asking if we were going to be at home and free over the Labor Day weekend. Lunch, dinner maybe. I was taken aback and hesitant. David replied, “Sure, we’re free, that’ll be great.” After more back-and-forth David and I found that they would be arriving late on Friday and have a rental car, so they wanted to get together first thing Saturday. Meanwhile, I kept texting Shannon separately and had a few calls with her. In among all the social talk, we got talking about sex. Eventually, I adjusted my approach from what I proposed before, me fucking Joe or us having a threesome. Rather than asking Shannon if she wanted to make out with me, I instead asked if she would do me a favor and touch me again. I asked not if she would mind, but if Joe would object. She surprised me by saying with some enthusiasm that Joe would like her and me to do that. She quickly clarified that he would like to see us do that. OK, the question is how far would Shannon go with me? I was happy to get that far and left it open from there. Saturday Long story short, David and I met Shannon and Joe at their hotel Saturday morning and visited a few places in town around their hotel. We eventually went to their hotel for lunch, then they invited us back to their room to browse some things on the internet and talk about our plans for later. David surprisingly and suddenly looked at his phone and said that he had to go into the office to take care of things. Something he rarely had to do, at least never in the office on a weekend. But I didn’t question it. He apologized and asked if it was ok if he came back in a few hours to the hotel. OK. He said that he would call when he was leaving the office. Later I found out that it was a set up between him and Shannon. Long foreplay story short, Shannon ended up naked on her back, I was in just my t-shirt braless on all fours licking her pussy, sending her into orbit and Joe was playing with himself. While she was in an out-of-her-mind state, I asked Shannon if Joe could put it in me. She squeaked “Yes,” and I ordered him to get over here. Now I was feeling the dick I had anticipated for so long. He came pretty quickly, but I was just as quick. His ejaculation was fantastic for me. Shannon snapped out of her ecstasy when Joe and I simultaneously started our cris d'amour. Afterwards Shannon wasn’t shy about going down on my sloppy pussy to give me another O. I was also happy that both Joe and Shannon found me to their liking. After our two hours or so of fun, I had Shannon call David and asked him when he was coming back to the hotel. I thought I was being clever having Shannon call him. But David is more clever (cleverer?) and more thoughtful; he had managed to get the hotel to reserve us an adjoining room next to Joe and Shannon’s shortly after they made their reservation - just in case things moved in a direction where we needed it. He checked in on the way back and David and I went next door into our room to shower before going out again. It was a tense late afternoon and light dinner. Not that anything was wrong, but it was a sexually charged atmosphere. David quietly but clearly sent me the message that knew exactly what had happened, had expected it. He also left the door between the rooms ajar as a signal that there was an intimacy between us couples, and negative proof that he wasn’t doing anything with me, the potential was being saved for later. It was clear to me that Shannon was interested in David. And no one had to tell David that. As we left the hotel and began to walk down the block David took Shannon’s hand. I grabbed Joe’s hand. Shannon had previously told me at one point during our text and email exchanges that Joe, knowing only a small part of her past but knowing that it is still much greater than his, likes saying that she was a slut when they’re in foreplay and having sex. He stresses it and says it repeatedly and asks her for stories about her past. It disturbed her at first but it she says it’s all ok, it makes him closer and more loving than ever, even after the sex is over. When we got back to the hotel we went to our rooms and had sex. Pretty wild, but nothing that hasn’t been discussed here before. David and I expected that we would separate into the two rooms, but Joe insisted on us all staying in their room because it had two queen beds instead of one king. He wanted to see his wife having sex with another man, something he said that he had never seen before and expected only to ever see in his fantasies about Shannon’s past. But here David was, with all his pent-up energy, doing a good job on Shannon. David is much more in tune with what was going on in Joe’s mind and how to play it. He knew that what Joe thought wasn’t that Shannon is a slut, it’s that she was a slut and he is the one who was so good for her that she gave up whoring around for him. He prides himself on having an oversexed woman who he has tamed and married. Her past is a point of pride for him. She previously told me that she fucked a lot of different guys and did all these different things (MFM and FFM threesomes, anal, couples swaps) before and yet she is satisfied, happy with Joe. For Joe, it is part of her great personality, but he is so proud that she gave it up for him. David flattered him by saying that he wished that I could have been as sexually adventuresome as Shannon was, that I had only fucked one other guy when we met. David told Joe that Joe married the town slut, but now she is his. Joe really liked that. I suppose that this shouldn’t be so surprising, there are people here, mostly guys, who say that they don’t mind that their wife sluts around (with a boyfriend, at the club, at a party) because, especially because, she is going home with him tonight. The husband getting the final conquest, and all is well. In a moment of calm, nonsexual honesty I asked Joe if he was ok, if it disturbed him knowing and seeing Shannon having sex with David (or me). He seemed good, more than good – pleased, with Shannon’s past but only because it was in the past. He confirmed that talking about her past in the abstract was exciting, something he loved about her, but seeing the reality of her having sex with another guy was painful. “But that seems to be the price of admission,” he said. I was left wondering but didn’t push him on it. “It’s wonderful afterwards though,” he said. Shannon confessed that they weren’t in town to visit relatives. They contacted us and specifically came to visit our place in the world to see if we said we wanted to meet up. They had reserved the entire weekend for time with us, whatever it may be, and had a flight home on Monday afternoon. What led to this trip was Shannon “confronting” Joe about me and asking him if he would fuck if me if she could arrange it. (She already had the signal from me at our last meeting that she could.) What I didn’t know was that she and David were talking behind my back to set this up. Sunday The big day came and we took Joe and Shannon back to our house to meet the rest of our family: Red, Clair, Lora, and our multitude of children. The introductions were very smooth and cordial. The only awkward part for me was when Clair and Lora both said to Joe and Shannon how much I had said about them, but Joe and Shannon were untroubled by me having talked about them. Shannon said I hadn’t said anything about Clair, Lora, Red, or all these kids to her. They were curious about the provenance of the kids and we proudly pointed out the biological parentage of each (Lora said “I’m the mother of the brown ones.”). To say they were amazed with the whole situation would be an understatement. Especially with the huge house, guesthouse and all the children. We told them that none of it (the house, the number of children) is as impressive as it seems if you divide it up among us five adults. David has arranged with Becky and Frank to take our children for the day. We had also arranged for two of the regular young women we use as babysitters to accompany them to help out. It worked out great and we really appreciated it. Needless to say, we all played. The interesting thing for me was that the pairings that seemed to grab hold the most were Joe and Lora, and Shannon and Red. David, my husband, and I played together with Clair and laughed that the couple he had set up for me to have sex with had found other sexual interests. 😊 To Joe, it became not that Shannon just was a slut, but is one, fucking both David and now Red. David and Red now will call Shannon a whore in front of Joe, while the other is fucking her, or both are. Even when Joe is making love to Shannon, his wife. I was worried that this was going too far, but Joe smiled. Both Red and David know how to make him feel good about his wife, portraying her as a sophisticated, super sexually charged woman that he was lucky to get to be his wife. Tamed but not domesticated. After all this, I was afraid what the aftermath might be. But we met at dinner and everyone was happy. It was almost odd that we talked about everything except sex. But it also seemed so natural that it was no problem. One last thing to report: we had breakfast with Shannon and Joe at the hotel Monday (Labor Day) morning for breakfast before they had to go to the airport. Unlike our other get togethers outside the bedroom, this time we did talk about sex and it was mutually decided that David and Shannon would go back to the room for a quick one. Joe and I agreed that it was wonderful sitting here together, him fingering my pussy and reaching for my braless tits, knowing what our spouses were doing. The psychological aspects of what happened excite me as much as the sex, mostly because that’s what I keep thinking about. 1) My husband David went behind my back with another woman(!) to really move along the opportunity for us to play with them. Plus getting the adjoining hotel room and arranging babysitting. 2) Red and Shannon really hit it off, sexually and otherwise, something that I did not expect, they’re so different. Same with Joe and Lora. 3) The fact that Joe has such a fetish about Shannon being called a slut. And that David picked up on the subtle clues early on and had the right instincts on which direction and how far to push it. Joe gets so worked up having Red and David say so and hearing her tell stories about a past that he didn’t know that she had. He went from slut-fear to slut-pride in a very short time. Anyway, overall an amazing weekend.

All of swinging should be about the girls, as a guy I'm just happy to go along for the ride!

I don't like the ambiguity of "clothing-optional." I look forward to going to nude spas when in Europe and I have the time. Everyone has a common understanding that it is non-sexual and nakedness is mandatory. It is wonderful being with others of all ages, sizes, and conditions who are naked. I would definitely go to a vanilla social gathering where I am naked, so long as I know everyone else will be. (It is an interesting thought, however, being invited to a get together where only some of us are randomly chosen to be nude.) Same if sex is possible; let me know in advance.

I'm not sure why, but this thread brings back feelings in me and I must digress. Reading these posts makes me glad that I/we are not traditional swingers. I would feel left out and awkward even as a woman because early on I became suspicious of men who took an interest without knowing me because I looked and still look much younger than I am. When I was 17, 18 I looked as if I were 13 - very thin, no tits. Guys would hit on me who either thought I was that young and willing to risk it or knew my age and had a fetish for flat chested, young looking girls. (I wondered sometimes if these guys saw my ugly cunt with my big clit and lips, wild bush, they would feel the same.) For all my outward confidence and assertiveness, I need to be in a comfortable situation to enjoy sex. My poly family and occasional dalliance have given me this.

We women in our poly family like both sides of it, the guys do not like doing the licking, so it is primarily an FFM activity.

Don't get it complicated. Marriage, sex, friendship are all discreet singular items, we make it complex by putting them together. If she wants a fuck-lick , that is what she wants. I can only give our experience. We are also 3 hours away from any club and never been to one. That is why we are not member sin any club. No one in our vicinity knows what we are up to and will never know. We found Hedonism and fulfill all our fantasies there. No need to build towards anything make elaborate plans with ulterior motives , just be open to receive and give and you will be flooded with offers that you may have to decline.

If you're doing the friendship thing with ulterior motives it is disingenuous at least to her. I'm guessing the other guy would know what you are up to but guys that you find who would be ok with the plan are probably not going to be as patient as you would like or need him to be. My observation is that genuinely good guys get snatched up pretty quickly and aren't single for long. So you court this guy for a few weeks or months, get to know him, become friends and next thing you know he is in some new relationship that he would prefer to pay attention to rather than yours. Why? because he's getting laid with her and not your wife. Now he's out of the picture. Oh, you can find douche bags that will say or do anything to get laid but is that the kind of guy you want to spend a lot of time working on building a "friendship" with? The reality is you're going to have to find a way to talk to her about it. Many couples fantasize about this lifestyle, few actually do it. There's a hurdle you sometimes have to get over. It's that voice inside your head that tells you something isn't right. There's a name for it but I can't for the life of me remember what it is. It's the same voice that tells you that you shouldn't jump out of an airplane, rappel off of a cliff or stick yourself with a hypodermic needle. Lot's of people imagine themselves skydiving but can't take the step in actuality. You have to first find out if this is something she wants to do for real or just keep as a fantasy. If it's real, now you've opened the box and can talk about how she sees that happening and move forward from there. Just be sure not to pressure her. Move at her pace whatever that happens to be. I'm curious as to why clubs are totally off the table. That would be a place where things could happen organically and without too much time to overthink things.

Racism my ass! Two of the best things about swinging are choice and honesty! We get to choose who we play with and how we do it. The original poster simply chose the wrong parties to attend and judging from the tone of his posts, may have added to the problem by his attitude. No one wanted to play with him? Too bad, that was their choice. Accepting an invitation to a swingers gathering does not entitle someone to get laid. He would not have rubbed bellies with someone had he not showered for a week. How is a hygiene choice any different from one made by penis size, skin tone or body weight? Yes, racism exists but it probably isn't the only reason this guy didn't get laid and even if it was, so what? Unlike real life, swingers can choose who they associate with. We would not attend a BBC party nor would we share an interlude with an individual simply because he/she was black (or asian, or redheaded, or a dwarf). That is our choice and not racist.

Is there Racism in the Swinging Lifestyles? Yep, there is and has been since the start of time and will be until the end of time. I have seen it all my life and I am betting I will see it until my dying day. Swingers are no different then other people. They are not any more open minded, just different minded. Now, what the OP has posted about has nothing to do with Racism at all. DiscreetDesires and prometheius covered it pretty well but don't anyone get the idea that Racism does not exists , it is alive and well in all parts of life. I don't agree with it, but it is there. Anyone that does not think so is kidding their self and not really watching what is going on around them. After seeing 800 to 1000 "Swingers" a week I can more then say it happens.