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Reading this after 16 years, entitlement thinking and tantrums because others don’t do what you want when you want it doesn’t seem to have gotten better.

I think YOU (hubby) are exceptionally LUCKY to have a Lady willing to share you with another man, ala MMF. Theoretically, that means you're looking for a "guy like me" (male willing to "play along" exactly the way you two want it to go). So where are we? Not in club, because clubs are few and far between. Plus, most clubs already have established members who live close bi. I've been to a few (4) and in each case butt one (Green Door in Vegas) I could only get in with a woman (twice with wife and once with co-worker). In the case of the Green Door in Vegas, it's owner encourage me to CUM alone! He explained that it's almost always the hubby who gets a wife into a club the first time butt always the WIFE who decides to go back again. He told me that such couples could not find "enough men bi themselves" to have a MFM or (more rarely MMF)," Now THIS WAS VEGAS which probably has the largest "thru put" of sex hunting men in the US (save perhaps Hollywood). I used to be on AFF (90's) after starting out on AOL. AOL yielded me my BEST MMF (that started out MFM butt progressed as we dated for nearly THREE YEARS!). Read: THEY SPOILED ME bi making me APPRECIATE the MARVELOUS pleasure associated with "escalating options in bisexuality." Matt & Peggy moved to Miami and while we tried for two years after they moved to meet together at Hedo, it just never worked out. Quite frankly, the main reason I joined here after moving to SWFL was in hopes they would find me here on Swingers Board. In going on 30 years worth of seeking to enjoy this "LS," I've been bisexual for 28. HOWEVER, in that span, I've had just 3 bisexual playmates and not even a "hand full" (less than 5) 3somes. Sorry Ladies, butt you single women are much too likely to "bait and switch" bi claiming 3somes+ butt ONLY WANTING 1 man to yourselves. Thus, you married couples are MUCH SAFER for many reasons. Bi means of being a MF couple interested in playing MMF, YOU are in the drivers seat, SO DRIVE. Join AFF, seek out MWM's playing alone and tell them to CUM to you ("expedition sex"). Set up a "G Meet (public place, clothes on) with an option to play (CUM join us in room 369)."

Hey all, We are a couple, I suppose you could say mature. M -59. F-56. We both have not had great sex lives, until we got together a year ago. We are growing quite nicely together and exploring our sexuality. We are both very much into the same things (well pretty much). She brought up the topic of a threesome. She only wants MMF, me with another guy. I am quite happy with that. The most important thing for us is that we don't damage the great relationship wh have. So, I thought I would join here and ask the opinions of people who are in the scene. We intend to try a club. We have talked this through and agreed ground rules etc. Some of the ground rules make me wonder. What we have in mind is both me and him pleasuring her. Nothing off the table, except anal. She is reluctant to try that. She only did once and was hurt. I am straight but would say I am bi-curious. I love ass play and have always wondered what it would be like to have a cock in my ass. She loves the idea of that. I have told her, a Bi man would be ideal ut I might not want to play with him when it come to it. I love the idea of her being with a guy. I want to be there and she wants me there, partly for security. She can't stand the thoughts of me with a woaman. Which is cool. This is going to be just a first step afterall. She has commented that is unfair of her, but we both have to be comfortable. We both agree that there would be no contact details shared and once the fucking is done, good or bad, we walk away until the next guy. She is happy to have a guy fuck me, but only if I am inside her at the same time. She says she needs to meet and talk to the guy first because she doesn't think she can fuck a guy unless she feels an emotional attachment to him. That is what makes me wonder. She says that is not a problem for her.She can walk away but needs an attachment first. What do you guys think of that?

So many posts say don’t do it with a friend and there are a number that started with friends. I don’t see many negatives from the friend hook ups and I can see who is the the better choice, the friend who you already have so much in common. As long as everyone knows it’s just sex, sex is fun. I wish I realized that fun sex is great when I was younger. We look back at our lives and all the missed opportunities. Our first swing was with strangers who I owe so much to, they made it so easy. I told a friend who wanted us to be her first and because of the negativity I read on all those posts stopped us. We suggested our first couple to get them over the hump, pun intended. Now we are part of a group and we are all friends.

Had to look it up had only an idea what it was. The men in our group aren’t doing this, the women do. The first time I was surprised by that extra tongue and it felt pretty damn good. As I am a good friend I reciprocated and almost got my nose broken.

In our nudist life over the past 30 years we usually leave the curtains open when we fuck as long as there are no children in the area. When we used to stay at Paradise Lakes and Desert Shadows we got it off a few times outdoors as well and on cruise ship patios. Before all the Wu would get naked in the car so I could masturbate her on the freeway, drove slow but sometimes we couldn't stop until right up to the front door. Wonderful memories!

This is a tripping point for my wife and I as well. We don't mind being exhibitionists; it can be a lot of fun. But, we don't do it when there are unwitting 'victims', most especially kids. If it's consenting adults, absolutely. Adults that have no idea...depends.

We are both exhibitionists to the core. When I am at a bar where I know I'll get an audience, I'll choose an outfit that I know that I can "modify" to give a guy a peek. It's a rush for me - its sexual, I can feel the endorphins rush if I notice a guy sees me after I've given a quick and discrete "accidental" flash of my pussy. When we are at the nude beach, we sit by hetero couples and singles that we know are looking. If a group of guys show up, I'll give them what they want - it gets me off. If we are in a swingers club, I'll take it to the max - we'll either use the public room, ask a couple or some singles to watch, or simply leave the door open. It's part of who we are - tough to explain.

Separate rooms imply a level of trust and sense of safety and security-- especially for the ladies-- that can be hard to achieve.

I have swung both as a couple and as a single lady. I must admit that swinging as a single lady is lots of fun. As a couple you have to agree with whom you want to swing with. This leads to alot of missed opportunities because alot couples do not like to swing with single men because it makes your man feels left out or he may not feel comfortable playing so closely with a guy. As a single lady, it's all up to me. I can be with a couple or with a single guy of my choice.

OK, I replied to another thread where the poster said they were into voyeurism and exhibitionism and said that he thought that made them soft swingers. My definition of swinging is that in order to swing you must have sexual interaction with others outside of your primary relationship, and soft swinging would be sexual interaction up to but not including penetration. So I wouldn't consider people who were into voyeurism and exhibitionism exclusively to actually be swingers. My question is are voyeurs and exhibitionists swingers?

It is not uncommon for singles to pay more for everything compared to couples. Take cruises for example. You as a single pay more for cabins. Single males have, let's say a reputation, that proceeds them. We, as singles, pay a big price for the rudeness of other men before us. Some of us can be the best thing since sliced bread, but we need to prove that to the unknowing couples. If we need to pay the extra amount to enter a meet and greet so be it. If you can't pay, maybe you shouldn't play. Nobody wants to be stupid with their money, but no one wants to be around someone who is cheap. If we are polite, considerate, pay attention to the males of the couple instead of looking at his wife as if she was naked, they, couples, might be polite back and hark, might even invite the single for a second "interview" and might just lead to some fun for all. Single males need to get realistic and realize; "it is what it is" and not try to re-invent the wheel. Just a thought.

The clubs in VA won't let single guys in at all. Perhaps you are lucky that they let you in. Most house parties don't have single guys. Some do but they are usually well known to all. Perhaps you should start you own swing club. Let in lots of single guys and see how many couples want to come out. Perhaps there is a great need for this.

Having been a single female in the lifestyle and now part of a couple/triad I would like to address this question. Why are single females ok more so over the single male for a couple of reasons? 1. Single female “generally” (not always) are not as obnoxious in their approach. 2. And secondly like Mr. Goodtimes and others have pointed out they are rarer and more sought after by the masses. Here is where the big difference is in the lifestyle a single straight male and a single straight female are the least sought after. They offer little to nothing for the average lifestyle couple but for those who play separate they are needed and wanted, with that being said those couples who play separate are not in the majority in the lifestyle. The single bi-male and the single bi-female have more to offer and are more sought after because they fulfill a broader range of needs being able to please and play with both partners. Are there single bi-females who don’t know their manners within the lifestyle, absofuckinglutely...and they by far are as obnoxious as single men, possibly more so, because as bi-women and straight women go there isn’t a tell all sign to know if a woman is bi unless you see her actively engaged with another woman. So it’s really being brazen to assume all women at a club are bi but they do it. And I’ve seen many pay the price with the well deserved bop on the head by those women who aren’t bi. I am bi and have had my share of unsolicited groping by other bi-women and it pisses me off just as much as men who assume consent to grope just because we are all in the lifestyle. It seems that many have forgotten to be courteous in the lifestyle and to ASK permission before just groping others. I can honestly say in my years within the lifestyle I have NEVER made a straight woman uncomfortable by my actions. But I’ve seen other bi-women do just that but I’ve seen by far more single males do it too. Moral of the story is manners, manners, manners and most of all RESPECT for your play partners, everyone are people with feeling and emotions and while we are in the lifestyle for fun and to have sex with others, you have to take them into consideration – it’s not just about getting mine.

As a club owner I would take exception to that generalization.... Easy money? Not on your life! Single males are (for the most part) a source of aggravation to club owners. We are constantly getting inundated by them to be allowed to join our club and when they do attend we usually have to have someone follow them around to keep them from acting like bulls in a china shop. Just like the original poster they assume that there admission charge is a ticket for sex. Most couples do not like them there, but on occasion want to bring one in for their own amusement. The money we charge is a deterrent to prevent us from being overrun with single males, nothing more...

We'll do just about anything but dude-on-dude. And when I say we are full-swap, I mean FULL swap. My wife will not only fuck the other guy, she will also tell him where to park the car, what to wear, and why he is just like his mother... Now THAT'S full swap!!!!

If we meet a couple we really like,we tend to go with what the other couple is comfortable with.Like lately we have just met a local couple who is only comfortable with girl+girl play and oral play with the other couples spouse.........i'm o'k with that.......maybe when everone is comfortable with eachother it will progress.........but the hubby and i really enjoy full swap with girl+girl play. -Carole