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We just returned from a very interesting vacation with the first friends we met after moving to a new city. They asked us if we would be interested in joining them with three others in sharing an AirBnB in Florida. The house was near a beach, something we love, and had its own pool, a truly luxury house. They only knew one of the couples who knew the others we were sharing the home with. Big surprise, one of the couples at the house were two women who are married, a lesbian couple. At first I didn’t know why they were joining a group like ours or did they not know. I questioned one of the other men what their story was and I was assured they were married and knew exactly what the others were there for and it wasn’t only for the beach and sun. I always thought lesbians are turned off by men, possibly revolted by the thought of being with a man then I was enlightened. I didn’t realize most lesbians had sex with men at some time in their life and a percentage continue to enjoy men sexually. Of course women use phallic toys if not an actual man in sexual play. These two women fell in love and married just as heterosexuals do, and are not completely monogamous just like those of us posting.

We mostly swap with other couples. After 1,2 or 3 meetings, we realize: 1. It’s no longer novel and it is in fact routine and formulaic; 2. One or both of us are not that attracted to the other partner or couple; 3. One or both of us are not thrilled or compatible with the sexual abilities of our swing partner. However, in many cases, we like the other couple as friends and we would like to keep them as friends. However, we note that once we stop the sexual relationship, the other couple rarely wants to remain friends. We’re not naive and we realize no one wants to be rejected. But it is a hard trick to pull off. Sort of like staying friends with an ex. What are other people’s experiences?

I don't understand this. If she was fine having the conversation with him beforehand telling him that anal was off the table then why wouldn't she say something during when he went in for it? Especially if her SO is right there. If you don't feel safe in a situation with your SO right there then are you ever going to really feel safe in a threesome?

When dynamics change so do relationships. It is the same when the friends divorce, or one of them dies. In the LS it is a matter, I believe, of how much sex was the driving force. We have had it go both ways. The friendships change, but with some effort can be maintained as something different.Sometimes for the better. In our family , one of our children married one of his group of friends They later divorced. The marriage was not healthy. He is now with another of that group, who had been married to someone else of that same group. This group is probably 20 or so in number. Now this group is still there. All of them are supportive to each other including the exes. While the individual families are fairly traditional, in many ways including the children it is Tribal. I marvel at it.

Thank you all for all the encouraging words and advice. It has really helped us out in deciding what we want to do. He literally texted her today and she still hasn't responded back to us yet. (Big surprise... not). He even made a condescending comment which I have yet to respond back to him because I don't want to feed into his ego and have the power over me in myself responding. His comment was "did your bald pussy get fucked yesterday?" - which was Sunday. Why on the earth would you even say that? A ton of red flags completely went up the moment he said that. My husband has on numerous occasions thinks that he is the one answering her phone in attempts to keep interested and hopes that we will do stuff with them. He even tried to tell us that shes busy and thats why she doesn't answer the phone or that her son is visiting and was spending time with him. We literally have made ever effort to try and talk to her but doesn't barely respond. We have ultimately decided that we are going to forgo this couple and better spend elsewhere. We were even thinking of going to a club? Does anyone have any advice or stories that could be beneficial for us as a couple. Things to do and not do? Experiences? Should we just go and see how it is the first time or go full out? Anything would be helpful. I really want to express how thankful I am for listening to me and giving me advice. It has really helped out with us as a couple and just trying to figure out what to do with this couple. It is definitely better to figure this out now before we go and meet them with them and possibly do something with them. it would just be a waste of time, money, effort and even the overall experience. Our first experience didn't go as we had planned... the guy had a charley horse and couldn't get up even when I was trying to suck him. Made me thing that it was me overall because in my head I am thinking that I am not sexy enough or not doing a good job. (i guess that i like to be praised when I am doing something good and satisfying the person, especially my husband) So that experience didn't go very well. So with this couple, it's best not to waste time and find another couple that will be better fit for us in the long run. Thanks for listening to my second semi-long rant. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the situation.

That is how I met my present bf. Maybe that future society is near! 🙂 My experience with having fun with delivery guys.....not actually a delivery guy but with a hotel staff. I was on a holiday overseas. The hot shower was not working so I called the front desk and complained about it. He said he is going to check it out. The name sounds like the attractive guy I met when we checked in and a naughty plan came to my mind. I didnt put any clothes on but only the towel and waited til he got up our room. My partner was onboard with the plan and went out quickly. With fingers crossed, he personally checked it and explained the bldg maintenance guy was not yet around. As he entered the bathroom, I let the towel fall down. He blushed but did not back down and continued to engage me in a conversation while looking at the right spots on my body. But suddenly, it appears like an electric shock hit him and hurriedly told me he will call bldg maintenance right away and left. I was too puzzled at his behavior. I thought probably we should have cleaned up my partners clothes and things off the bed first and hid them. Maybe he realized I was not alone in the room and there is a hubs or bf with me. End of fun.

-------------------------------- I adore having sex in separate room Play--- Katrina I adore her having sex in separate room Play--Driver X

This isn’t an answer some want to hear, we enjoy being alone in separate rooms. Nobody gets jealous, nobody has to hold back, everyone is free to be themselves. My swing partner lover does things my true lover husband doesn’t do which makes swapping so much fun. I don’t want every sex partner to do the same thing. I also don’t hide what I do with others to the man I’m with for life.

I haven't re-read the entire thread, but one thing to try if your wife is bi is for the girls to 69 and the men take one missionary and one doggy as they lick the on-going intercourse.

Going over the ground rules with everyone involved is crucial and if you don't go over the rules this is what will happen. One problem I first saw was that you admitted that both of you were half buzzed, bad idea. Next, are you sure she was an anal virgin, maybe she has done it before? Anyway it happened, now what to do about it. I think both should stop until you both get on the same page with your rules. This is not uncommon, I have really seen problems about going bareback or ejaculating inside her. Having rules and sticking to them is important and later down the road you may adjust your rules. Talk this out and don't let this get between you, but don't swap until your rules are agreed upon by both!

I'm not a guy, but I am bi and have had the experience of "seeing a pussy (or her ass) being fucked upclose." It is hot and so is licking them both. Don't miss it if you can.

It’s amazing how stupid some people really are. Clearly he’s upset about this and your advice is simply be happy you feel scorned and humiliated, at least your wife got anal. This is exactly why swinging fails so often. Idiots giving advice!