Leaderboard

I would be careful about trying to make her something she is not! The way you describe things it really doesn’t sound like something she wants to do in the first place. Why push it? A woman does not need to be slutty to be good in bed. My missus is far from slutty, but is by far the best sex I have ever had. Might take a little more effort on the man’s part to have a good sex life with a woman who is not slutty, but passion trumps slutty any day of the week and if you spend more time learning what makes her tick you might be surprised how good things can be. Probably why so many guys like submissive women is because it is a hell of a lot easier to use someone then it is to actually please them.

I agree. My wife, Sabrina, told me she was bi about 2 weeks into our move in together. I found a house party which we attended the very next weekend. She hooked up with three other females whose significant other was doing something else at the party. They all played together for well over an hour. Then they brought me into the playtime. After I came the first time, Sabrina told me to go find some guys. I found six guys that were all unoccupied and it turned into an incredible orgy. As this was my first time to swing, I was a little leery of watching my girlfriend being fucked by another man. The great thing was, as she was being fucked, one of the other girls was sucking my cock. It turned out awesome and we still love the excitement of fucking new partners.

I think that the best approach is the unselfish one (the one my husband used with me). Allow your girlfriend to play with another partner, man or woman, while you don't play at first. She gets to choose who she wants, intoduces you two, so everybody knows the situation, and she decides on the arrangement, whether you're there or not (or nearby), whether you participate, etc. Make it about her and the way wants it and she'll love you for it. She will want you to get yours a little later after she’s comfortable. Good luck.

I had a swap partner that loved wearing a steel butt plug. She said it was very comfortable, but it had to be removed very slowly. She was much into anal play and I loved the part of removing it!

I knew a guy in college who said he liked a good John Philip Sousa march tune because it helped him keep his rhythm! 😂

If you hadn't picked up on it, this is Daniela writing again, and having my husband to post under his account. I think he would rather me get my own account. Maybe later if I keep posting. My sex life started pretty early, I’m not sure if it is permitted for me to give my age here. I began with both boys and girls at almost the same time. Being involved with women was much more gentle and understanding than the boys’ approach. My first experiences with males was with boys who were my age, but some of the females were older, older teenagers, that is. Those were great learning experiences. I think my early hetero experiences would have been better if I had sought out older, more experienced males as well. Like, when you’re learning to drive you don’t go out in a car with someone else who has gotten his license or is just learning. Another major thing was that I was able to get an IUD put in me when I was fourteen. Long story, but my parents didn’t know. Thereafter, I didn’t need to worry about going back for refills, hide anything, or remember to take something every day. My mom would take me in for regular gyno checkups because I couldn’t drive, but I was able to get the word to my doctor that I had an IUD and he kept it secret. Besides my older female sex partners and a couple of boyfriends, my first married man was the father of my female high school friend. I don’t know what the law is in the state we were in at the time, but it may have been a crime. I, however, had and have no regrets. It all seemed so normal, and things were the same with my friend and her mother, his wife afterwards. You could say that I was the aggressor, I enjoyed it, kept it going, and thought, “What’s the big deal”? In college I dated guys my age, but I also had relationships with two married male professors and several female ones. From this, I learned that married men (and women) are more appreciative of me and the sex that I gave them, even though they are getting it regularly at home. I knew because I pressed them to give me that information and the details, which made me happy and satisfied. My most intense relationship during this time was with the husband of a female friend, both of whom were in graduate school. This time, not only did it seem normal, but I learned the pleasure and satisfaction of knowing the wife of the man who I was involved with. At times I thought that she may have been suspicious, but she had no problem leaving me alone with him for many minutes or hours. Right out of college, you could say I dated normally, but more so, even conservatively. At first, I dated trying to develop a relationship. If I slept with a guy, or girl, it was never sooner than a month and the third date. I aimed for a long-term relationship and still dated regular guys with goals of permanence, but then eventually pretty much stopped in favor of married men. That eventually became my default. Usually having two married men going at the same time worked best and was very satisfying for me. The other thing about our current arrangement is that I and my husband have gotten to explore sexual things that I’ve heard about, but never tried, like threesomes and swapping spouses next to each other. It’s not just whether it is an MFM or FFM, but also the relationships among the players. An MFM where one of the men is my husband is a lot different than where neither are. An FFM where I am the third to another couple, which my favorite, is totally different for me than another woman joining my husband and me. Although we've done other things like some of our all-in orgies, multiple men with one woman, a bunch of women with one guy, I prefer threesomes and foursomes. I don't know why I felt compelled to further explain myself, but if there are any other questions I'll look in sometime.

My parents and my upbringing can only be described as normal. I learned about sex, but nothing libertine. My parents were not involved in any form of consensual non-monogamy or cheating or homosexuality; I would have definitely picked up on that after I was twelve or so. There was very little drama in my house. Daddy issues? Mommy issues? Freud says we all have them. Do you mean change to being a married woman and having a husband of my own rather than always borrowing one? And couples swapping? I met a man who transformed me, someone I wanted to share a home with, have a child. It was unexpected. As I said, we tried the monogamy route for a couple of years, actually he was monogamous with his ex-wife for twenty years, so it was nothing new for him. He was the one who recognized that I wasn’t built that way and encouraged me to venture out. It was only me at first, but my husband always met the guy; then he got involved as well for threesomes. This led to full swapping with couples a bit later, then the closed group, bareback, no rules, emotional involvement thing after that.

I never thought this is degrading or thought someone doing it is degrading me. Possibly some men do it as their way of showing power, I always looked at it as another playful act. So many years ago the first time a boyfriend did it I took it as a respectful thing. We both laughed afterwards when he apologized. I have a vivid memory of what happened, he was in my mouth and pulled out and used his own hand to finish. He said he didn’t want to cum in my mouth so I thanked him and gave him the biggest kiss with all that still on my face. I never told him that he wouldn’t be the first that didn’t pull out. I don’t feel degraded most of the time, at my age if I thought a partner was trying to degrade me I would throw him the F out. I find it funny to watch it cum out. I’ve had other things squirted on me in fun. So many things men do can be classified degrading if you allow it to get to you. I have a friend that says anal sex is degrading so for her it is and she shouldn’t allow it. Spanking during sex is exciting not degrading. When a friend asks me why I let him do something my standard answer is if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t do it. At my age I’m there for the laughs and giggles.

My wife has said that she is in "the resource extraction business" whenever she is having sex with a man. She brags that it is him, not her, that is left depleted, exhausted, and spent. He need time to biologically replenish himself while she doesn't need any time to move on to the next man. One of the most impressive thing that I've seen in this regard is when Daniela was taken doggy by another guy. You would think that he was "taking" her, but she quickly backed the guy up against the wall so his movement was limited but not hers, and she was pounding him. It was clear that she was fucking HIM.

That's the way I think of it, regardless of how I get it out or where it ends up.

We STRONGLY recommend that you don't ever play with people who aren't already in the L/S. You need to have the mindset that sex isn't love and love isn't sex and all too often, 'vanilla' friends don't understand this. They can't keep the two separated and that leads to problems. How do we know? Ms. Gold and her ex tried swinging to save their failing marriage and decided to hook up with their close friends. A hot tub, some alcohol, and the swim suits came off and...pretty soon the other couples husband was offering to leave his wife for Ms. Gold. Only problem was that Ms. Gold wasn't interested in having a relationship with him, especially since he was married to one of her best friends. The wife quickly found out his plan and that was the end of the friendship and seriously damaged the other couples relationship...but that wasn't the end. All of the juicy details came out as to what they were all doing to their other friends and family leading to many awkward meetings. Lets just say it wasn't pretty and more than just embarrassing for everyone. Most swingers don't want to be found out by their vanilla friends...why would you invite a vanilla friend to find out. Also, just because he may joke and ask about something (that he most likely thinks will never happen), doesn't mean that he would actually be interested in it if he was given the opportunity. Best to keep the two worlds separate and not take the risk...

I'd second this. In addition to being able to cut ties, vanilla people aren't wired like LSers and the opportunity for developing feelings, hurting feelings, harming relationships and getting consequences other than what you want (a hot and sexy experience) increase exponentially.

In most situations these things burn hot and fast, then flame out. Sometimes they don't. In our group, feelings have developed between sex partners not married to one another; we're all good with it. Affection is spoken and given out in the open. Why is this such an issue among otherwise open minded people in the lifestyle? Why is it ok that some guy is playing with your bride's tits while she is fucking multiple men in multiple orifices, getting great orgasms and giving orgasms with other men's cum in her pussy, ass and mouth but, but if they care for one another it is a step too far? My wife is particularly in love with one guy, and his wife. So? My wife doesn't love me any less, she loves me more. I'm flattered that he finds the same great qualities in her that I did. Yet she chooses to live with and have a family with me. If anything were to happen to me, I've bought her financial insurance, she has a career, plus she has emotional insurance: a couple she loves and that loves her. For my part, I have a special partner among our group. We have an attachment beyond sex, although not as wide and deep as my wife does with her special couple.

I and my wife have known friends who played with their friends, some foursome swinging, others a single male for her. In some situations, someone either developed feelings. In others, simple misinterpretations of words or actions caused hard feelings. Not everyone who swings is an adult. It happens, and then it gets messy. It never happened to us because we never, ever played with vanilla friends. But it does happen. Not every time, but sometimes. You need to be prepared for the worst when playing with friends.

My previous girlfriend didn't want to wear any of them, but life is smiling at me and my current girlfriend loves them. I got a customized bunny tail butt plug from Pupogolandia brand. She loves to arouse me wearing it while receiving oral.

I've never wanted or needed to wear a butt plug all day but I have for a couple of hours before having anal sex. It makes things much easier. Always do an enema before you put the butt plug in.