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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/03/2023 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    ***disclaimer: I am asking this because I am confused and would like your kind guidance.*** Dear all, I have been consulting a psychologist lately, following my wife trying to bring me in the swinging world. I did feel curious about it, but also very scared. She insisted, but I did not consent as I was not 100% on the same page. I felt dragged, and that created me some bad memories and a small trauma: how a person that always loved you can be so insisting in trying to drag you if you are so scared? and that came after we had a loss in our family, so in a very bad timing. anyway, long story short: my psychologist, a quite famous one, told me that for a couple to be truly functional and to work in the long term the sex must remain exclusive. he said it is like a special gift, not to be spread around. a way to build intimacy and connection in a special way. As any other gift, it cannot be taken back and given to everyone. this of course true for everyone in the couple. Now, I know this person is not judgemental: he is very warm and caring, and he has a vast preparation crossing different fields. BUT, I found so many kind people in this website suggesting me that it is not necessarily like that. so I have a question for people with years of marriage before starting swinging: have you been swinging many years? does the fact of giving up the sex exclusivity made you less strong? if not, how did you navigated the loss of this exclusivity? and because you are experiencing others, how you made sure not to bring home STDs? and last but not least, has this created you mental health problems and/or substance addiction? I was not shocked by my wife proposal, but rather than the fact that she pressured me when I was clearly not ready. why did not I leave her? because there is so much in our marriage and she acted always honestly with me.
  2. 1 point
    Couplers: That's why we included the disclaimer Everyone is entitled to form their own opinions based on the lessons and lives they have led.
  3. 1 point
    I beg to differ, or at least make a distinction. Humans are not wired to be monogamous. After growing up with years of social and religious conditioning, however, we come to believe that monogamy is the only way for us to conduct our sex lives. What is true is that humans become jealous. The “monogamy conditioning” that we get plays on this to control people and reinforce the monogamy philosophy. That’s why I advocate anyone wanting to convince a spouse (say, the wife) to try the lifestyle to let her go first with no conditions, and the husband remaining monogamous. That way, she gets to do things her way and feel comfortable without the worry and jealousy of what her husband is doing and enjoying. His demonstration of love and support for her without expecting anything in return shows what it’s all about. I don’t know if the man who is my husband had this plotted out for me/us, but it ended up with me wanting him to play with other women as well and create our poly family, with some occasional outside play. In the best of worlds, a man and a woman would meet while being non-monogamous, fall in love, marry, all while having other sex partners, taking joy in the other’s pleasure. Perhaps because she loves you and wants to go on this special adventure togeter with you.
  4. 1 point
  5. 1 point
    Sabrina has had several group encounters. Her very first one started out as a MFM at a house party. After the other male and myself had cum, she told me to go get "some more". I brought three more guys back to the room. I had left the door open so by the time I returned she was giving a guy head who bhad been walking by. She was fucked by the four of them and asked for two more. On our way home she panicked and started crying. I asked her why, she said she did not want me to yhink she was a slut. I told her that was one of the best sexual experiences I had ever had. We had one at an on premises swing club in El Paso soon after. She started playing with two guys in the lounge area. This drew a crowd and when one finished, I would have another take his place. She ended up being fucked by nine guys total, three of them came back for seconds. It was incredible.
  6. 1 point
    Yes, more than 10-12 years Absolutely not. In fact, it is the opposite...we are stronger because of it. Refer to our signature below. Because swinging is something that we do TOGETHER. While some do it without their partners, we choose to do it as a group activity. Because of this, there is no loss of exclusivity. Safe sex (condoms are required) and testing before starting with a new couple. Now to add some other thoughts. Please keep in mind that this is just our opinion and doesn't mean what we think is the greater 'right' or 'wrong'. You must decide what is right or wrong based on your own experiences and beliefs. First, a psychologist, and that is ALL psychologists, are just offering a personal opinion. Psychology is not an exact science and they usually are just offering 'general' advice that is (all too often) colored by their personal beliefs. Second: To be a successful swinger, a couple MUST have an abundance of love, trust and communication. It must be all three and all three need to be in abundance. This is what minimizes and/or eliminates the jealousy and other 'harmful' feelings that can cause damage to the relationship. Third: Swinging is NOT for everyone...in fact, quite the opposite. Most people have been taught that non-monogamy is BAD and should not be allowed (not saying if this is right or wrong). It can be hard, if not impossible to overcome this training. There's nothing wrong with this, it is just the way it is. Successful swingers are a small portion of the population (usually stated at 2-5%). Forth: Swinging IS NOT CHEATING. Swinging is something that you do with your partners full knowledge and support. Cheating is done in secret without your partners knowledge and usually involves lying and deceit. We think of swinging as being a team sport, something we do together. We both get enjoyment out of seeing our partner getting enjoyment. Finally: We also strongly believe that while swinging is something we do together, if either of us were to have doubts or wanted to stop swinging, we both would stop...without any questions (although if the communication is great, there wouldn't be any reason to ask questions since it would have already been explained). If both partners are not enjoying swinging, then there is no reason to continue. Remember, we get enjoyment out of seeing our partner getting enjoyment. If they aren't enjoying it any longer, there is no reason to continue. That your partner is "insist{ing}, but I did not consent as I was not 100% on the same page." is a red flag. Just like if your partner insisted you do anything that you aren't on board with...it will lead to greater problems in the relationship. Their wants are being placed ahead of yours without concern to your thoughts or beliefs. "I did feel curious about it, but also very scared", "I felt dragged, and that created me some bad memories and a small trauma: how a person that always loved you can be so insisting in trying to drag you if you are so scared?"...once again, it is the strong trust that helps eliminate the fear. It is the love that lets you put your partners feelings ahead of your own. It is the communication that reinforces the love and trust. You are not ready...and may not ever be. She is putting her desires ahead of your comfort and well being. Even if you were willing to go ahead with this, it most likely won't end well. You need to work on improving your trust/communication/love with her, but that doesn't mean you will ever be ready it swing. She needs to understand your position and take your feelings into consideration (would she really want to make you do something knowing that you hate it and are suffering the entire time...?), otherwise the rust will most likely continue to erode your relationship. We wish you both the best and look forward to your responses...
  7. 1 point
    I completed a long a I dare say scathing response to this. Then the internet crashed and I lost it. So, I'll summarize. 1. The fact that your psychologist is FAMOUS means nothing. Get over it. It says nothing about his ability or his advise. Telling us that only serves you in putting him on a pedestal where you can belittle the "un-famous' advice you receive here. 2. There are many swingers that see sharing there partner as the ultimate form of intimacy. A gift if you will. IN fact, many would say that their relationship benefits from the sharing. 3. Exclusive is a control thing, not a giving thing, especially if it is one way. IE you are telling your wife she must remain exclusive or ...... It is simply an agreement, but that doesn't mean that when couple decide not to be exclusive they can't build intimacy or connection is a special way. 4. As I sit here in my 44th year of bliss with my high school sweetheart, I can tell you that our intimacy and connection is as strong as ever. Swinging is just another part to our adventurous and committed relationship. Now your psychologist may know you better than I. He may know that you are not open to, prepared for or interested in sharing your wife, but to draw broad generalizations is just wrong. What I'd want in a psychologist is an open minded individual (famous or not) that would help you explore your feelings around her request, help you to articulate them without judgement and help you and your wife explore, together, without judgement or wrath why she might want to swing and how that might work or not work for you both.
  8. 1 point
    I’ve read every word in both of your posts as well as all of the replies. All of your questions — and the answers you’ve received — matter *only* if you’re considering swinging with your wife … which it sounds like you’re NOT! And since (you say) you’ve already told your wife “no”, that should be the end of it.
  9. 1 point
    Adam, you don't know how much your testimonial means to me. thank you! if only my wife had been patient, instead of pressuring me to such high heights... 😕 thank you again
  10. 1 point
    This is the true story of Karen and me at our first orgy, which took place in Atlanta about a decade ago. Karen is a fine-looking black woman, about 40 then. I am five years older than her. We met through a mutual friend, and the day we met, we discovered that we were both very sexual people. During our relationship, we confessed that we were interested in group sex. Karen then told me that shortly after her divorce, as a young woman going to graduate school, she had experienced a marvelous group sex scene. She described how her girlfriends, two of whom were rather bi, would let her have their husbands. While never really graphic, the story she told undoubtedly piqued my interest. We began to go to swinger events in the Atlanta area. One was populated with people dressed in outrageous costumes and who made a rather bold public display of affection. However, it did not appear that they engaged in the sort of wanton sex that Karen and I had in mind. The other group was more upscale, and though I was recently divorced and paying enormous bills and child support, we found the money to join this group. We did so joking that nothing was likely to come of it. We had connected with some swingers in the first club I mentioned, but the whole scene was not as open and lascivious as we had hoped. So we went to a couple of get-togethers of the second group. Though we had seen some nice-looking and mannerly people, we had not made any intimate connections. The third time, we went to the social, laughing that we would at least have each other when we returned to Karen's apartment. Little did we know what was to occur that evening. It was a typical get-together, and I felt relatively relaxed and bold, so I complimented the hostess on her dress when we checked in. The hostess seemed genuinely pleased and said, "Let me seat you with some people who have asked about you." Joan and her husband were attractive people whose swinging life started when they discovered that each was having an affair simultaneously. He and she said they loved each other but craved the 'variety and newness' of extramarital sex. Joan had a lovely body, and I noticed that the more sexual her conversation became, the more her sexy nipples protruded through the fabric of her dress. We talked about this and that, and as the conversation came around to sex, we seemed as though we had known each other for years. Karen was commenting on a young couple and how sexy she thought the long red hair of the male was when Joan said that she knew them and would introduce us. Karen had a long conversation with Jean and her man, Danny. Since I could not hear well enough to participate, I started talking with Joan. She suggested that I dance with Cheryl, who had noticed Karen and I at the last party and had asked about us twice. So I did. Cheryl was a little, petite woman who pressed herself against me rather forwardly on the dance floor, which was all the encouragement I needed to begin dirty dancing with her. We danced a couple of dances, and then, as I went to sit down, Karen passed me on the way to the floor with Danny, the young man with long red hair. She said Jean had asked if I might dance with her, so I approached her. We danced in a subdued (comparatively speaking) manner. As we left the dance floor, I saw an older woman with full lips, very trim, and she had a certain quality about her. I introduced myself and found that her name was Ruth. We danced several times that evening, and I asked her if she had ever been to a swinger party, and she said no. She said she was there at the insistence of a fellow with whom she had been having good sex for a few months. She indicated that she was not too sure about all of this. The evening passed quickly for us. Karen danced with several men, and I with Ruth and Joan, Jean, Cheryl, and the hostess once, even though she said she was supposed to be working. Karen was joking and laughing with the couples whose husbands had danced with her. I was teasing Joan physically, discreetly rubbing her back and touching her hands sensually as we talked. The hostess approached Karen and me as the party started to wind down. She invited us to an 'after-party party' in the hospitality suite. We did not hesitate to jump at the chance. On the way up, we discussed how to behave there, and Karen indicated that she had talked with the hostess and said she had promised to get the ball rolling if it did not start by itself. When we arrived there, Karen went out on the balcony with Danny to smoke, and I was surprised to see Ruth being ignored by her date. I took Ruth into my arms and began to kiss her while talking with her about the possibility that an orgy might erupt. Ruth looked at me and smiled a wanly lascivious smirk, and said, "Gosh, I hope so." About that time, Karen, back from smoking her favorite material on the balcony, came by as she toured the room, taking an item of clothing from every man. She continued back around the room. As she went from man to man, she kissed them, frenching each deeply and rubbing them with her hands and body. Soon she had several of them near naked. In the meantime, I slowly, unhurriedly seduced the rather willing Ruth. We sat on a loveseat in the suite facing the couch, the king-size bed behind us. I began to kiss and caress her, gently stripping her clothing from her and pushing her to lie back. I got on the floor between her legs and began to eat her. After just a few minutes of attention to Ruth's erect clitoris, she said: "I want to fuck. Let's go to the bed." On the large bed, two men took turns licking Karen, who was naked, and arching her pudendum into their mouths. Only her feet and the top of her head were on the mattress as she bridged herself into each of their faces. She was moaning aloud and coming audibly about every 30 seconds. Ruth seemed to be enjoying herself. I asked her if she had needs she was ready to have met. Ruth simply took my rigid cock and pulled it into her as she lay back on the bed. It was quite surreal; here I was, stroking the length of my turgid cock in and out of a woman I had met perhaps two hours ago, while within 30 inches of me, my lover, Karen, was being thoroughly licked by Richard and another man. Ruth came several times. Then someone began kissing her as I was fucking her. She slowly went from kissing to sucking him; it was soooo wanton. I turned her onto her hands and knees and continued to stroke. My new position allowed me to see that Karen was now across the room on the couch with two men, the host, whose fat dick she was enthusiastically sucking, while Joan's husband fucked her with a long thin dick from behind. As I had been fucking Ruth for some time, I needed to go to the restroom. So I disengaged, and as I did so, the man who had been eating Karen earlier moved to take my place. He was fit and well endowed, and Ruth glanced back and smiled a welcome as we changed positions. I went to the bathroom, and as I exited, I turned right to enter the living room. I passed the bar area, and there on the floor was Joan. She was riding Charles, the security for the party, and she was slam fucking the shit out of him. I watched as she rode harder and faster. I could tell he was very close, and she was astride him, her feet planted on the floor on opposite sides of his hips. She faced him and held his unbuttoned shirt, which he was still wearing, gripping the lapels to maintain her balance. Joan's mouth was open, her breath came in ragged gasps, she moaned louder and louder, and then with a tremendous grunt came, grinding herself into Charles. This was too much for him; he came with her or slightly before she did. I was transfixed by the sheer hedonism of it all. I returned to the living room, where Jean was smoking a cigarette with the Asian girl whose husband had taken my place with Ruth. I asked if she was interested in joining me on the bed. She was young and had an adorable body. Later we were to learn that Jean was an exotic dancer. Jean said she wanted to watch and nodded as I looked towards the bed; on the floor near the bed, Jean's Danny and the Asian lady's husband treated Karen the way she loves to be treated. She loves to be fucked doggy style while she sucks dick. They traded places every three minutes, and I watched for a few rotations. Joan approached and touched me as I watched, wrapping her hand around my dick. We smiled at each other, and wordlessly, I took her over to a stuffed chair. She knelt on the cushion, and I entered her from behind. I fucked her for a long time, varying the stroke following her mood. She was incredibly sexy and came as quickly and satisfyingly as Karen did when I treated her this way. Eventually, I came very hard, and she went nearly into a total spasm when I did. Gasping for breath, she turned, buried her tongue in my mouth, sucked on mine for a moment, and collapsed into the chair. "Wow," she said weakly. I offered to get her a drink, and she asked for a Coke, so I got her a glass with ice and coca cola in it. I stood there with her for a few minutes, resting and watching people engage in sex, two, three, and four, all over the room. I returned to the bed, and Ruth was there with another man. He came, and as he withdrew, she reached for me. I was already stiff from watching them, so Ruth and I enjoyed a long lazy spoon fuck, her pussy relaxed and well-lubricated by the semen of several different men from all the fucking she had been receiving. She came, and she said she needed to use the restroom. All that fucking had her busting for a good pee. I lay there for a few minutes, observing Richard's wife sitting alone. I approached her and asked if she would join me on the bed. She rose, smiling broadly, and we got onto the bed. I started by kissing her all over, paying particular attention to her neck, collarbones, and breasts. Soon I had a rigid nipple clamped between my teeth, worrying it with my tongue. She reached between us and took my cock in her hand, and pumped it slowly and sensuously. Soon I was hardening nicely. She did not hesitate, pulling me on top of her and stuffing me into her wetness. I slid in slowly, and she sighed a long sigh as I did. It was very erotic, and I began to stroke slowly, deeply. She came almost immediately, and then as I continued, she wrapped her legs around me and began to respond by thrusting into me as I hit bottom. She seemed to want it rougher, so I thrusted more vigorously. She whispered, "That's it, give me that dick! Unh, fuck me, baby, make my pussy hurt, FUCK ME!" I could not come, though I wanted to, so I just continued to hammer my rigid cock into her. She pulled me to her and kissed me deeply, coming as she did so. We laughed and commented on how much fun that was. Then Richard came by and, apologizing to both of us, said he had to go to work in a couple of hours and needed to leave to drive home in time to get ready. I wandered about and encountered the hostess. She was watching Karen ride her husband, Dan. I slipped behind her and caressed her back, ass, and shoulders. She gently disengaged and smiled broadly, saying, "Wait until they finish their fucking. It's our party. One of us has to work to keep up with everything!" I watched as Karen and Dan fucked, then, realizing I was very thirsty, I asked if she wanted something to drink. She said to wait for her at the bar. I went, got a soft drink, and shortly she came in, saying that Dan would take over hosting and she was ready for some fun. We picked up where we left off. I sat in an armchair, and she was on my lap. We necked and caressed each other for some time, then she rose, produced a condom from seemingly nowhere, and put it on me in a smooth and practiced motion. She rode me astride, her legs through the arms of the chair, which she grasped to help her support herself. After a while, she seemed to have a small orgasm, saying it was delicious, "Being so wicked to fuck right out here in the open like this." I did not get off, and Danny's partner, Jean, came by. My partner said, "Girl, you need to try this!" and dismounted. Jean, smiling, said, "Don't mind if I do," and pulled me over to the couch, where I entered her doggy style and fucked her for a short time. Danny came by as we were rocking steady, and Jean asked me what time it was. I glanced at my watch and told her it was very late. Danny, a newspaper pressman, had to go to work in less than an hour, so we reluctantly uncoupled. Jean and Danny said they had given Karen their contact information and wanted to reunite again soon. Then in a few moments, she kissed me, he shook my hand, "You'll come to visit us now, ya hear?" and they were gone. I ran into Karen in a few minutes. She was returning from the balcony with the Asian girl, who was headed into the other room with a woman who I had seen several times, but who seemed interested only in other women. Karen and I kissed, and I began to kiss her and lick her and soon had her sprawled out on the floor. As I was really beginning to get into it, she interrupted me, saying that the Asian woman had interrupted her every time her husband had started to fuck her, and she wanted 'to try some of that.' I looked up to see him standing to my right, and I simply stood and moved over. He said, "Now to finish what we started earlier." Karen took him into her mouth, sucked him hard in about 20 seconds, and then guided him into her. They settled into a furious pace and had it going for a few moments when true to form, his wife showed up, "I told you, we have to go now," she announced, and he rose. I simply moved down to lick Karen, and he could not hide his disgust that I would lick her pussy after he had just pulled out. I did not feel intimidated and merely laughed at his discomfiture. They left, and Karen and I fucked for a few minutes when Karen suddenly said, "Hey, there is somebody I want you to meet!" We jumped up and went into the other room. A buxom blonde was sucking a rather limp man. Karen approached her, kissed her on the mouth, and said, "This is my Michael." She immediately said, "This is Bob, and I am Sue," and took me into her mouth. In a couple of moments, I was hard again. Karen sat on Bob's lap, and Sue licked her and sucked him while I fucked her from behind. I was spent and could not come; Karen came nicely. Bob never quite achieved a full erection and said, "That's alright, baby," to Sue. Sue came hard several times as I fucked her, then said that she was getting sore. We disengaged from one another and, sated, began to look for our clothes. After I got dressed, Karen and the hostess talked intently. I came by, and Karen said, "Kiss her goodnight and let's ride." All the way home, we talked about what we had seen and done; it was an incredible evening. When we got to Karen's place, we had an explosive fuck, with a completely enervating orgasm, and slept until mid-afternoon that day. Karen and I have since parted, but I surely miss those days and her!
  11. 1 point
    Petra, I’m sure I posted this in some thread or another on this board, but near the conclusion of a party perhaps a decade ago, after about half the guests had departed and I was lounging nude on a bed, four women approached and began working on me. I suggested the two who were playing with my nipples stop because it wasn’t doing much for me, so from then on they just watched. The other two who were sucking my cock orally continued their pleasurable ministrations until I ejaculated in the mouth of one of them, who then ostentatiously snowballed the other. So, does this count as a four-women-on-one-man gangbang? I dunno? My sense was that the women were doing me for their own amusement; I just happened to have the good fortune to be an available male body.
  12. 1 point
    My wife and I have a rule that pillow talk is all talk. Nothing said is an expectation of the future. Since we swing, that seems the best policy. The only way to know what people want is a talk when the iron is cold.
  13. 1 point
    Honestly the only way to know is for you two to talk about it when you are not in the moment playing! Nobody else can speak for her. If you can’t just openly talk about these things with each other the lifestyle is not for you.
  14. 1 point
    My fiancé and I had done MFM threesomes a couple of times in the past but went quiet for a few years. We were lying in bed one night, and somehow the conversation turned to threesomes. She asked me what I really thought of her while we did them? I told her that it was so sexy watching the look on her face as she sucked my cock while taking another cock in her pussy, and how much it turned me on. I asked her what she was thinking during it? She said that it was the most amazing feeling having two guys fuck her at once. I asked her if she would ever do it again? She said she would like to, but didn't think we would be able to find someone she was comfortable with. A few weeks later, I was chatting with a mate on Facebook, and he told me that he was pretty sure he and his girlfriend were gonna split. I knew he had always perved on my girl, and they had always been friends, so I asked him if he'd be keen to join us? I was a bit surprised when he said he couldn't because he was a good friend to us both and didn't want to fuck that up. I said that's ok and left it at that. About a week or so later, he messaged me saying that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. I told him that we had done it before with other blokes, and it wouldn't fuck up our friendship. Feeling reassured, he said he wanted to. With him on board, I told him not to mention it to my girl, and we would find a way to surprise her. My brother's engagement party was a few weeks later, and we were all there. My girlfriend was drinking, and I knew this was our best opportunity. I said to him that it could happen this night if he was still keen. The party was starting to wind down, and my girl said she wanted to go clubbing. I told her to go out, and I'd see her at home. She went out with a big group that included our friend, so I didn't think it was going to be our night. She rang me about 3 a.m. and said she was on her way home and our friend was with her. She thought he just wanted to keep drinking with me, and that's why he was in the cab with her. When they got to our house, we just sat in the lounge room drinking. After a while, he went out for a smoke. I whispered to her, "Do you know why he's here?" She said he wanted to keep drinking. I said he's here cause he wants to fuck you. She didn't believe me at first, but when I told her that me and him had spoken about it for a while, she said she wanted to but wanted a shower first. She was in the shower when he came back inside. I told him she wanted it. She came into the lounge room just wearing a t-shirt and undies. She sat down next to me, and we started kissing. While we kissed, I felt her begin to move around. I opened my eyes and saw that our friend was taking off her underwear. She wriggled forward while still kissing me as he started eating her pussy. She pulled away from me and said: "Take your cock out." I took my pants and boxers off and was hard as fuck already. She grabbed my cock and guided it into her mouth. She sucked my cock as he ate her for a while, then he got up and took his clothes off. He got on the other side of her, and she started going from cock to cock sucking and licking. I grabbed her off the couch and put her doggy in front of him. She went back to sucking him while I licked her cunt and arse. After a few minutes, she turned to me and said: "Fuck me!" I got up behind her and slid my cock into her hole. She was loving it as I pounded her, and she had a mouthful of dick. I could tell he wanted to fuck her, so I pulled out of her and said: "Ride him." I sat away from them a bit so they could fuck while I watched. I was getting hornier and hornier watching my cute fiancee grinding on another cock. When she said, "Come back," I jumped right back into the action. For the next hour, we fucked her in every possible position a girl can suck and fuck two cocks. She had cum a few times, and we were ready. I was on top of her fucking her on the floor. My mate was up near her head, slipping his dick in and out of her mouth. She said to us: "Tell me when you're going to cum." My mate was pulling his cock while she licked it and said he was about to blow. She pushed me off her, got on her knees, and told us to stand either side of her. She was rubbing her abused pussy, watching both of us pull while she waited. He started moaning, so she turned to his cock and opened her mouth. He shot his cum into her mouth, on her face, and a bit on her tits. She let the cum in her mouth drip out of her mouth and onto her body. As I saw this, I couldn't control it anymore. She took my whole load in her mouth, then looked up at me and swallowed. We all just collapsed, completely exhausted. I'll never forget how turned on I was knowing my pretty, innocent-looking fiancé loved being a naughty girl.
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