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I chose "other." The way I became non-monogamous was banal, unconventional, and romantic. I called off the wedding with my fiancé Red, moved out, but kept the relationship going. I wasn't looking, but then met the man who would become my husband David, and I started a relationship with him. A woman with two men going at once, not that unusual, I suppose. Since Red and I were so close, I immediately went to his apartment (what used to be our apartment) after the first time i had sex with David. We then made love too. David knew about Red, and figured out quickly that it wasn't over between Red and me. Instead of dumping me, he said it was fine, and that he loved me. Shortly thereafter they met, and got along well despite being quite a bit different. One Saturday afternoon we were all together and we had the first threesome for each of us. We mostly kept the sex separate, but with regular weekend threesomes. After a couple of months, I moved in with David and several months thereafter David asked me to marry him with the explicit promise that I could keep Red. So on one hand one could say in the first year our swinging career ramped up quickly into the hundreds, while OTOH, one could say that I was just a slutty single girl. But David and I got married and I'm still sleeping with Red.

There are posts here about couples who have a "No Kissing" rule. I've realized that I enjoy seeing kissing, as deep as they want. Any others? Kissing isn't sex, but it makes it more intense and passionate, something I like doing and seeing.

Decades ago, after an alfresco lunch and on the cusp of beginning an (ill-advised) relationship, my future lover and I shared a kiss — not a tonsil-hockey version but much more than a social buss. "Kissing is more intimate than sex," she said as our heads pulled back. The sex, which began a week or so later, turned out to be extremely hot, but the intimacy of of our brief romantic relationship began with that kiss. Now in our 70s and together more than 35 years, my wife and I still have sex three or four times a week. Despite our familiarity (or because of it) the sex is still extremely satisfying. But even laying naked in bed, neither of us begins to get aroused until we start kissing. In a different context I’ve had some ENM experiences with no-kissing partners that included orgasms and generally come away with the feeling that for me it would have been better if kissing would have been part of our engagement.

The ability to kiss is one of the reasons I prefer missionary over doggy. And although you can kiss during cowgirl, it's somehow not the same. (If I'm going to bend over during cowgirl, it's usually so he can put his mouth on my tits.)

Never have understood the no kissing rule. Doing everything except kiss? I know all the reasons why I just don't get it.

That's an unfair advantage that men have. As soon as the other guy finishes, hubby can jump right in. When I'm watching my man with another woman, I have to wait not only until he finishes, but also recovers.

With sex as with everything else in life, if something doesn't work out, talk about it, make adjustments, and if it can't be made to work, move on together without recriminations or blame. This could be a restaurant, a vacation, a job, a move. Or sex, or romance. I have made mistakes, done stupid, even wrong things. It was always met with love, understanding, discussion, and optimism for the future from my husband and the others in our family. I try hard to be the same in all things big and small.

Yeah, that would be creepy. Your instincts are good here. Count your blessings - you have a wife who is attractive and sexually charged. Don't snope, ask her if she is interested in playing with other men and let her take it from there. Encourage her to take the lead on your journey of being non-monogamous, including you holding back as she moves forward.

Frankly, that's crazy. My husband allowing me to take a boyfriend and eventually having MFMs with him is one of the greatest gifts he has ever given me. I having sex with other men isn't forced on me, it's something that I want and enjoy. I respect my husband all the more for the fact that he is mature enough and loving enough to not only accept, but also be genuinely happy that I get fulfillment from my relationships with other men and women.

Daniela and I have gone back and forth, started with her playing alone (hotwifing), then me joining some of her partners in MFMs, then we progressed to couples swaps both same room and separate. Now that we're in a trusted closed group of other married couples, it's not only separate rooms but a lot of alone play for all of us, especially during the week, catching a quick one. A guy and not-his-wife will have sex while the other spouses watch the kids. We get together about every other weekend for group play, same or separate room doesn't make a big difference, although it is good to watch your wife doing it sometimes.