Leaderboard

For us, it's MFM. Probably the key is that Mary wasn't Bi or even curious, and wasn't interested. So any dynamic involving two females just wasn't happening. And, as has already been pointed out, finding the appropriate female is the proverbial needle. Interested and interesting single males are all over the place. Plus, I had a great interest in Mary enjoying herself with another man, and Mary loved the variety. Yeah, give us a quality single male every time. That answers the Swing category. For Poly, well, that would involve the three (or more) personalities involved. I'm not an expert here so if I'm not accurate, correct me. But it seems to me that anyone that goes looking for Poly is likely to be disappointed - Poly (and love) finds you, not the other way around. Of course if you aren't interested in Poly, it's not going to happen. And long-term? Again, it depends on the personality of the couple as to what you'll find. But I think there's sufficient evidence that either of the couple can find a serious relationship providing both of the committed couple are okay with it.

Many people (men?) say that, but when I first started recruiting among my female friends and acquaintances for David to play with, many, most were willing. (He is attractive.) Alas, most didn't want me to participate or even watch. It amazes me too how many men think this way. Why is that? Porn? Showing off what they have? I go back to reproductive urges. Someone puts it into your wife and you get excited to do the same and have your chance of winning the race.

My initial response Nah they are both ok. Generally speaking, Although image one can be fun, sensual and fulfilling it is not very practical. Image two is fun, sensual and fulfilling but unlike image one, it is repeatable, physically capable of pleasing both simultaneously and repeat immediately real time, the anchor female is physically built to take both simultaneously, one after the other, repeatable for round two and three, or totally separately not needing a refractory period. And most likely more successful for long term emotional and physical relationship. Opinion from long term personal experience with both, for fun and for relationship as well as observation over decades of ENM.

Getting pregnant was a genuine concern immediately after our first swap. I knew I was protected, I also know no protection is foolproof. I know that pregnancy with the form we used has led to heartbreak with friends of ours who are not in any outside relationships. Our situation was we kept the option of future children open preventing anything permanent. That first night my main concern was more disease, less pregnancy. When I asked my husband about his night and contraception he was only able to say he guessed she took precautions. We had the most intimate nights and never thought to discuss a prime concern. We had the talk way later along with the what if. Made us think way more. Years later, I still am protected though my husband had a vasectomy, my fear of others and what ifs. What does bother me is I am never asked about contraception, men just expect the woman to deal with it. As I stated, we have discussed and we agree what actions we need to do if something crazy goes wrong.

That's for sure. I wasn't looking to be non-monogamous, but it found me. I was in love with two men who were ok with it. And I never knew that I had such a strong Lesbian side, which goes beyond sex when we had children, until David started playing.

I agree that when I observed Mary with another man, I felt that goodness. The varied experience was very interesting to me, and certainly for her. But . . . I was never jealous or hurtful. We got into the game for variety in sexual partners.

MFM is more practical bc there are ALOT more available single guys then single ladies (thus the term unicorn). For me (hubby) I'm actually more into the pleasure of sharing my lovely wife, and making her the center of attention, than I am into being with other women so MFM works out very well for us.

Perhaps I reacted too hastily in choosing multiple females and one male simply because I enjoy, almost require, a woman when having multiple partners. However, you ask, "which is more practical for a play session?" and you are correct: I agree with the above, but when I am with multiple men, I prefer that we (mostly) do it one at a time. You also ask, "For just ENM/swing/kink experience?" Nothing beats couples swaps, same room. And, "For Poly relationship?" We started out with just me and two men. It was fine and had the advantages you describe. Now our poly family is two men and three women and it is better because of the Lesbian relationships and sex that we have. And more women are better for raising children. As for, "Long term committed relationship?" it doesn't matter. I must also add that the way most men and women are, women will play with each other, men don't, so another point for FMFF.

I had told the other guy I defintely didn't want to watch my husband. I thought he was ok with that but I don't think he was honest that he was OK with seperate rooms. I will just have to be firmer and make sure we are all on the same page next time. Thank you for your advice, I truly appreciate it!

Same room doesn’t work for you, at least at this point in your ENM journey. Your desires and limits may change with the passage of time and the accumulation of positive experiences. But you are where you are now. I suggest you try again, but only separate room. In my opinion when planning a casual sexual experience with others, particularly with a new couple, it’s good to have a discussion that addresses in appropriate specificity each person/couple’s expectations of what they would like to have happen and whatever limits they have. Does this preclude spontaneity? To some degree it does. But you are firm in your wish to have separate-room only and to not be asked to deviate from that scenario. In your profile on whatever platform you use to find prospective partners you should state that you are a separate-room couple. When you get to a vanilla face-to-face meeting (if that’s how you proceed) mention that requirement again. You might say to the other man "If we get together I want to be able to focus completely on what we are doing together. I want to make sure we both have a great time. But I should let you know that I had an experience where my partner pressured me to go the other room and watch my husband and his wife play. It was quite upsetting and spoiled what could have been a really nice time. Are you comfortable with this boundary of mine, and confident you can have a good time with me with that potential limitation?"

Kissing does have an extra layer of intimacy. That is why we like to kiss partners. We both like to see each other kiss.

Rod, first of all, I'm sorry for your situation. It was born of love (probably on both of your parts,) and has transformed into something else. If this is a situation you want, then yeah, go ahead and open your marriage. You've been a swinger, you know that sharing your wife isn't the end of the world. But, I will tell you this - your wife has a habit of being both indiscriminate and less than totally honest. In. my opinion, that is part of her underlying personality, and unless she sees it is wrong (not that you think it's wrong, but that she sees it as wrong,) it will never change. It will probably take years of therapy on her part to make a significant inroad in these behaviors that are causing problems for you. Expect years, if not decades, of uncomfortable situations. I wish you the best of luck.

Sorry, but cheating is a boundary that I don't cross. Like I said, it's not the sex, because we have swapped for 4 years, it's doing it behind my back. If they cheat on you, they will steal from you. Sorry but this is nonnegotiable for me!

Very true, but on the other hand, for me that is a positive. I am happy when my wife can has a new sexual high. Sharing our experiences is a joy for both of us. If that is not your mindset, you should indeed run.

The thing about strippers (male or female) is that they are professionals - they are going to give you an experience that they've given to at least dozens and possibly hundreds of others. Their desire is for you to give them money, not an experience. Is this what you want? If it is, more power to you. On the other hand, if you go to a swing club, you are likely to interact with people that are into it as something they really want to do. Let's suppose you go into a swing club and meet a guy you like. Presumably, he'd be very excited to be with your wife. You can explain the rules with him beforehand - he's allowed to kiss and/or touch your wife, either clothed or unclothed, he should expect only a bit of petting - no sex, whatever else you decide you do or don't want. What you are likely to get in this situation is an experience where both the wife and the guy (and, as a result, you,) have a very hot thing. It's an idea, if it works for you, great.

I like to cum in the woman and I have found most couples with only a few play partners like that best. the hubby wants sloppy seconds or to eat the cream pie I leavee. Those with lots of play partners want condom's used and want me to cum on the wife's breasts, so the hubby can lick it off.

I have a similiar "problem". When I jerk off ( by myself ) I have a hard time cumming if I'm thinking about someone else besides my wife. But when I think of her ( with another guy of course ) - I cum almost right away.