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Thank you very much GoldCoCouple for your advises! I already let him know the party and let him fuck her any time he wants but I have to be there ....

No, this is not an uncommon thing to have happen. Every couple should have rules and limits that are mutually agreed upon before continuing (and that should NEVER be violated although they will probably adapt and change as time goes on). As bbarnsworth pointed out, and it is one of our few remaining rules, is that we move at the pace set by the slowest member...no pressure and nothing but understanding. Another rule we have is that if either of us wants to pause or stop, we both will stop with no explanation necessary. Our relationship will always be more important than something we are doing (together) for fun. Your wife needs to know that you will 100% always support her with whatever SHE decides to do. She needs to be able to trust you completely, and that you will not judge her on that trust. This includes sexual fantasies as well. As it says in our signature below, "If you don’t have to lie about sex, you don’t have to lie about anything. - John Williamson"...this is SO VERY true but still one of the hardest obstacles to overcome - knowing, trusting, letting every guard down with your partner and having them stand by you, without judgement or repercussions, no matter what. Yes, you two need to talk...but start out with whatever she would like to do is fine with you. If she says that she wants to keep this a one time thing, then let her know that you support her choice and leave it at that. She very well may come back later and change her mind once she sees that you are letting her have the lead in this. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

I'm not seeing any glaring red flags here telling you it should be a thing for memories only. It sounds like you have the kind of relationship that can work well with swinging. It is a concern that she won't readily discuss sexual topics, but I don't know that it's a show stopper. Things don't have to be verbalized in that respect with the one exception that both of you must be on the same page about rules/behavior boundaries. There's an old saying around here, which I think you're following by default; move at the pace of the slowest. This is a very, very new mode to be in; ethical non-monogamy. It may take time for your wife to work through things logically and emotionally. I'd recommend focusing on discussing how this new adventure works with your relationship, how it makes both of you feel, what it might look like moving forward, and less about specific sexual aspects. Welcome to the forum :) We're a helpful bunch, and will gladly answer any questions you might have as best we can. For my wife and I, there's no way we would have gotten into swinging without this forum, now going on 15 years ago.

Step 1: Tell HER. Step 2: See what she says and does.

I don't view "sex with others turns you on" and "madly in love" as mutually exclusive. Obviously you don't either, or you wouldn't be here I just saw the "but" and thought "hmm, no, I'm even more madly in love with her because I enjoy her having sex with others"...not a "but" The conversation started with my wife and I after some years into our marriage when she commented one evening that she could imagine having two men massaging her at once (she looooves massage). That was sort of the snowflake that started the snowball that started the avalanche. Before I met her, I'd briefly been part of a poly triad. When my (now) wife discussed our past relationships and found out about this, she said there was nooooo way she would ever want to do anything like that. So, years later when she decided she really enjoyed having sex with other men, I was overjoyed and shocked. I'd learned too how much I enjoyed watching her have sex with other men. I've never been able to explain it, but I love it. My wife has always been able to talk about things sexual. Her mother was always an open book, and my wife says she knows far more about her mother's (ample) sex life than any daughter ever. So, it's always been easy for her. My wife and I already had an amazing, very open communication relationship prior to swinging. Swinging amplified that, but didn't increase it because we'd already had such open communication. For us, it was an exploration of things we'd never imagined. For my wife especially she found that having sex with two men in an MFM was something she really, really loves...something she never imagined. I don't have any easy tips for how to get your wife to be able to communicate her sexual desires. It's a new mode for your wife, and trying to become comfortable with that may take time and lots of patience. Small questions like "does that feel good?" and "how does this feel?" may be the baby steps that slowly lead to deeper questions. Trust is important. Always be a receptive listener. Don't use sarcasm. Acknowledge. Support. Encourage.

Absolutely. I'm the passenger in a wonderful ride. Our relationship is amazing. She's an intelligent, beautiful, sexy, fun woman and incredible partner, and I wouldn't want to harm it in any way. May I ask how the conversation started within your relationship? How do you start the conversation that sex with others turns you on, but you are still madly in love with your partner?

Two thoughts: ● Your wife enjoys sex play tremendously in the moment, but doesn't have the exciting recall that you do to pursue future sessions. (I can somewhat understand, and have instances of zero sexual arousal and interest, but can be easily turned on and go to 100.) You two together need to create experiences that pleasantly live in her mind. My leading, probably controversial, suggestion: ● Let her find someone (male, female, couple) who she would look forward to getting together with for sex and be more comfortable with. The common wisdom is that men are willing to have sex without much thought beyond physical appeal, while women are more holistic and want sex with someone they find appealing on a personal level. Best of luck and please keep us updated on your progress.

Oh you must be the husband of the woman who just posted she wants her husband sodomized by the same black guy. It’s a shame nobody wants us purple guys.

Counterintuitive we played during the pandemic and are playing less now. During the pandemic we had time to search for the right match, we played primarily one on one and we were able to stay healthy. We have always been up to date on vaccinations and met some great people, Alan I made some terrific friends. More recently we limited those we met, happy to share times a very select few as we returned to a more regular work schedule. Ironically we went on a vacation to Europe, fully vaccinated, along with a younger friend who we felt needed to get away, and we all got Covid. This wasn’t a LS vacation, Covid just happened.

We envy you, Numex. Wish we had a group like that...

We're in a closed group of seven couples and like to mix it up.

It's certainly a power trip for my wife Daniela, but it isn't humiliating for me, especially now since all is known to everyone in our swing group of married couples. In the past when she was the woman with a cheating husband, she got satisfaction from inserting herself in their marriage and meeting the wife without the wife knowing her role.