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Most posts by that member are thoughtful including the one quoted. We don’t play alone often, when we have the play does feel different when I’m alone with a man or a woman. I’m not inhibited in front of my husband though it’s strange to say I’m less inhibited if he isn’t present. Possibly when alone the other person is less inhibited leading to something different for me.

You can't help how you feel; your wife should be sensitive to that. But she may not see alone play as any different than being together, just a chance to be more free. We are sort of the opposite, not bothered by alone play and even emotional involvement. For us, I think it's because we've always celebrated the happiness we see in the other from having a special person on the side, and most importantly we come back together more in love and revved up for each other than ever. My philosophy has always been that I rather know that another man who is having sex with my wife genuinely cares for her and doesn't just see her as a cum dump to be kicked to the side after they're done. For me, it helps that Daniela's alone play is often with both him and his wife. My approach with your situation would to not be confrontational with you wife, but actually vulnerable and ask for her help dealing with the situation. Maybe only regular swinging - couples or a group situation with you there when they're together for now. Perhaps it can transition to their alone time being a once in a while thing when you get to feeling good about it.

My husband's birthday will be next month. I convinced my girl friend to participate with me for my husband birthday in Vegas. Now she and me are preparing the party scripts. This is the first time for my husband to play with my girl friend and me. Any ideas are welcome! Thank you.

Good morning. Some years ago, we penned an essay and posted it here. It's still reasonably fresh and might be worth a read. As AdamGunn has mentioned, posting a profile is the next step. We like SLS (see fundamentallaw there). What matters most is not the site, but how you construct and message within your profile. There is never a second chance to make a first impression. Spend some time chatting with each other about how you choose to present yourselves to the LS world.

One word answer: Yes

A couple approached us and we refused. The big positive is it made us talk about possibilities of future play. Talk talk talk, then talk more. We always talk about that first meeting where we refused, the fantasy of what it might have been got and still gets us talking more. Be on the same thoughts before going forward.

Wow, the thought is both exhilarating and scary as hell! It's something I've fantasized about but never thought about in real life. You're right in that she may be more receptive if I'm not there. No matter how much we trust each other, there is still that hurdle to get over, especially for her, about me being with someone else.

Yes on both. Many people here go to clubs or parties to meet people who they do not know to engage in sex. They prefer the variety and anonymity of doing so. Others prefer selecting their potential partners on websites or the like, then meeting them with no sexual expectations the first time to see if everything clicks. Your wife, at least at this point, seems to be in the latter category. She would be more comfortable and develop sexual excitement over a guy if she knows him first. A third approach, which she may like, would be for her to identify a guy she knows who is not necessarily in the lifestyle, but she finds attractive already (that guy at the gym maybe) and see if he's interested. She flirts, he responds positively, you all get together for you to approve, and they do it. She may indeed be more receptive if you aren't, at least at first, around watching. If you are comfortable with it, giving her explicit approval to have a partner on the side when it feels right for her may make it easier for her. I was raised in a strict religious home, but have concluded that all people are non-monogamous in our own ways. Finding that path brings tremendous joy.

Thank you so much. It's a whole new world for sure. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. We'll see what the future holds! When getting into the lifestyle, would you say that it opened up your relationship - as in able to talk about things more? As I said, we talk about sex, but only up to a point. It would be nice to be able to tell her all of my fantasies (not that I want to act on all of them!)

Two thoughts: ● Your wife enjoys sex play tremendously in the moment, but doesn't have the exciting recall that you do to pursue future sessions. (I can somewhat understand, and have instances of zero sexual arousal and interest, but can be easily turned on and go to 100.) You two together need to create experiences that pleasantly live in her mind. My leading, probably controversial, suggestion: ● Let her find someone (male, female, couple) who she would look forward to getting together with for sex and be more comfortable with. The common wisdom is that men are willing to have sex without much thought beyond physical appeal, while women are more holistic and want sex with someone they find appealing on a personal level. Best of luck and please keep us updated on your progress.

Oh you must be the husband of the woman who just posted she wants her husband sodomized by the same black guy. It’s a shame nobody wants us purple guys.

Counterintuitive we played during the pandemic and are playing less now. During the pandemic we had time to search for the right match, we played primarily one on one and we were able to stay healthy. We have always been up to date on vaccinations and met some great people, Alan I made some terrific friends. More recently we limited those we met, happy to share times a very select few as we returned to a more regular work schedule. Ironically we went on a vacation to Europe, fully vaccinated, along with a younger friend who we felt needed to get away, and we all got Covid. This wasn’t a LS vacation, Covid just happened.

We too took a Covid break. We have since been with a few friends , but will be returning to the Hotel Party seen for New Years. It is amazing how much "others" have aged in those years.

I'm not seeing any glaring red flags here telling you it should be a thing for memories only. It sounds like you have the kind of relationship that can work well with swinging. It is a concern that she won't readily discuss sexual topics, but I don't know that it's a show stopper. Things don't have to be verbalized in that respect with the one exception that both of you must be on the same page about rules/behavior boundaries. There's an old saying around here, which I think you're following by default; move at the pace of the slowest. This is a very, very new mode to be in; ethical non-monogamy. It may take time for your wife to work through things logically and emotionally. I'd recommend focusing on discussing how this new adventure works with your relationship, how it makes both of you feel, what it might look like moving forward, and less about specific sexual aspects. Welcome to the forum :) We're a helpful bunch, and will gladly answer any questions you might have as best we can. For my wife and I, there's no way we would have gotten into swinging without this forum, now going on 15 years ago.

He doesn't know that two of us are planning this surprise.