This is a frequent occurrence in the lifestyle. I have used Viagra for several years. Before we play with another couple, I will joke around to see if the other male will admit to using ED meds. Usually, they will be frank about it if I am. If they are my age group (60s) and they don’t use it, there can be trouble ahead, but we’ll know it.
One tried and true cure for a non-cooperative penis is to have both the women perform oral on the other guy at the same time. If that doesn’t wake it up, it ain’t happening that night.
As a female partner said to me when I had trouble once, “We’re not pornstars.” Move on to other things, massage,, kissing, blind folds, etc. We don’t terminate the relationship unless they are never going to get an erection and refuse to use ED meds. Stuff happens and the guy who it happens to feels terrible. Be nice, it happens to everyone at some point.