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The question I have that you didn't elude to is, what does your wife think of this? She's the most important person in this equation, and her feelings should be considered above all. If she has trepidations, back away, it won't be worth it. On the other hand, if she's interested, how do you feel about it? This type of relationship takes a tremendous amount of trust on the part of the husband. If both of you are up for it, I'd start with baby-steps. First night, dinner and sex, then she's home by a decent time. Next time, stretch it a little. At any time, if it's not going well for either of you, call an end to it. It could be a lot of fun, but it could also be a real challenge to the core of your marriage. Best of luck.

As a woman, that sounds wonderful to me, a lot of fun. It's always possible, but that's possible with any guy she meets. The important thing is if something happens that either you or your wife thinks is heading in the wrong direction, you terminate the relationship. This is another thing to consider with the potential once-a-month dating guy - can you occasionally participate in the dates and sex? Not only is it hot, but it also reminds him of what the situation really is. When my hubby first started playing with my female friends and acquaintances that I set him up with, I appreciated the women who let me be there and watch. It was both extremely exciting and reassuring.

No it’s not a downer I understand you this is something which shouldn’t happen really as my wife is on something and I know what you mean with bareback I find it hot as fuck but I do leave the decision to my wife weather to wear a condom or not in the sex she has had with others it’s been bareback that’s the way she likes having raw sex a first time she did it the guy used a condom and about 10 mins in the spoke and both said they would like and were happy to fuck bareback that was one of the most hottest things I saw them agreeing that and her taking the condom off and asking him to fuck her raw and dirty

One more thought on this … Many men wonder if they’ll be able to attract a woman to get into bed with them if they’re not big enough “down there”. I read — or heard — something once that’s stuck with me … that by the time a woman finds out what size your dick is, she’s already decided to have sex with you. I’m pretty sure the same can be said about men and a woman’s pussy. 😉

Thank you all for your responses. I am looking forward to more. I keep telling him I need him to slow down. I think you are right though. I feel pressured probably because of his approach with me. Our mindsets are in different places. I am working hard to heal the purity culture damage. It will not happen over night. I do know that.

This is a big step from just having a compatible guy join you for a couple of hours for exciting sex. The risk you cite, of having your wife and this prospective dating partner develop deep emotional ties, is real, though it’s not possible to quantify, at least at this point. Hypothetically, it’s certainly plausible that this prospective partner is a guy who enjoys an ongoing pleasant once-a-month overnight date with sex assured but no further commitment. And quite possible that arrangement would work well for your wife. And for you. There is a member of this board and frequent commenter (he will likely weigh in here) who with his wife is a member of a longterm closed group of couples who exchange not only sexual partners but maintain a close knit social relationship that often involves one half of a couple attending cultural activities with one half of another couple. And these ad hoc "couples" sometimes travel and stay overnight, enjoying sexual and social/cultural activities. Returning to your circumstances, you and your spouse are newly active as an ENM couple after a considerable break while your children were growing up. Were I in your situation I’d take things slowly. As a couple interested in inviting men into your relationship, whether for one-time, casual recurring or even polyamorous coupling, you will always have more opportunities than you can even evaluate. With regard to this particular man, you don’t mention how far or the manner in which the two of you have explored the possibilities with him. Just online? Via phone or video? Face-to-face over coffee or a meal? If you are interested in further pursuing a potential engagement with him and you haven’t met IRL, I suggest you do so. And if he seems attractive to your wife and you find him acceptable as a person entering your relationship, the two of you should require that he agree to a gradual development of his dating relationship with your wife, progressing from initially a no-sex dinner (and possibly movie or other entertainment) in several steps that proceed — depending on how things go at each prior step — from having sex but not spending the night to eventually weekend adventures for the two of them. If he’s not enthusiastically willing to do so, toss him back. As the old saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. And you will find more than enough of them who are keepers.

Good evening, everyone We have been away from the scene for a few years. The kids mainly kept us really busy, so it was difficult to live this lifestyle. Kids are older and we are both interested in this lifestyle. Wanted to bring everyone up to date andi your thoughts. After our last FWB, which lasted 6 months, we decided to take a leave..between kids and he really wasent the fit, We recently placed an ad on the locale pay site. It really did not take long to find our potential FWB.. after much talking, We met up for a coffee which went much better than anticipated, This person we can actually have a conversation with, he has similar interests. We decided a few days later to get together.. my wife had the hottest sex ever. He was rough but passionate... he included me which was nice, My questions. There is potential of another man who would like to meet us, His intentions are to treat my wife kike a Girlfriend, what this intails is he want to take my wife once a month for date.. dinner/movie/adventure days, potentially going to a cottage away in a forest, I would almost call it a companion for 24hrs. There is a potential of her spending the night with him when we are more comfortable which he really would like. My question... she has me, a local FWB and potentially, once a month with another FWB.. Has anyone had another man take their wife for dinner dates and over nights. Should I be thinking that he might be attempting to cut more than the gras and have a hidden agenda to sway her away from me. Since we starter this life style, we have developed incredible communication skills. We are open. My wife very intrigued by this proposition and is strongly think of trying it out. I did not want to pass judgment on this person and want input. Regards

The beds are covered with plastic. No worries. And they change things. And there are condoms and men will use them.

Not to be indelicate, or too graphic, but at these clubs, I assume most every guy wears protection? What we're actually worried about is that since our first and only experience, my wife has discovered squirting. She says she doesn't know when it's going to happen - as in what I'm/her partner is doing to make it happen. So it comes on suddenly, and she's unable to control it. Often completely soaking the sheets. Excuse my ignorance on this, but say we're at a club, and she squirts and soaks the room :) Is there someone there that's going to clean it up? Is squirting frowned upon? Does she get yelled at? :) What happens? Just not sure about the hygiene of a place where multiple people could be playing in that kind of mess. It's all hot and amazing when it's your partner, but are other people there doing the same thing?

Red Rooster is clean and a nice club in Las Vegas. Don't have to be naked and don't have to play. And affordable.

Ooh, another possibility - the wife and neighbor had had something more than a discussion at some earlier time. It would explain the ease with which this all took place. That may have been a repeat performance.

Yes, not because there's a hymen that's ripped or the girl's anus is permanently expanded, rather she eventually learns to open, not instinctively tighten, and to lube up her bum hole and his dick first. Perhaps the bi guys on this forum can speak up as well. I think many stories here are untrue, but still form the basis for a worthwhile discussion. Agreed, nothing lost, but something found. A cause for celebration.

Thanks for keeping us updated! Success stories are always a joy to read.

Ok so update. We were on Aff for a few months. The wife talked to a few men. The ones that met our needs were flakes or didn't show or just lied. But we finally found a single male, lives with in 30 min from us. The wife and him talked for a few weeks, I was kept in the loop of all the conversations. We finally decided to meet and this is how it went. We got to his apparentment, he welcomed us with open arms. The wife and I sat on the couch together as he sat across on a recliner. We just chatted for a short period of time had a drink and I could see he was interested in my wife. Thank God he broke the ice. He politely asked if she felt comfortable if could sit beside her. He praised her on how he outfit. She was wearing a black skirt, black sheer top and black thigh highs. He began to caress her leg with one hand. I asked him if her legs were soft and he replied yes. We were both touching and kissing my wife on the neck, breast etc...and he kindly asked my wife if he could kiss her. She replied yes. I couldn't believe this was happening. With one hand on the back of her head he pulled her forward and they locked lips. My eyes could not unfocus from both their lips and tongs meshing together. I felt slightly taken back but was very turned on. All three of us played on the couch for a few minutes and as things got hotter i asked him to stay seated and asker her to stand. With her standing in front of him I slowly removed her skirt, it slowly fell to her feet, I then removed her panties and top. We eventually made our way to the bedroom were she dropped to her knees and began to sucked his well endowed penis. We ended up on the bed were he slicked her pussy as i was playing with her upper extremities, she was a little disappointed with the performance pussy linking. He asked if he could have sex with her and we both looked at each other and said we were comfortable . He was a gentleman and put on a condom. They began to have sex. He took her in six different position and each time she moaned and screamed. This went on for 45 minutes pounding her. I was pleased as i couldn't put on a performance as such. Once he finished up i then took my wife. It took me a few minutes to get ride of the stage frieght but eventually i was able to get fully errect and cum. We all cleaned up and sat in the living room and chatted for a few more minutes and eventually said our good night. He shook my hand and she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Today after many hot discussions with my wife we will continue to see him. Thats my eventful night.

My wife and I have discussed this and we will NOT being seeing anyone we know. This will cause too much conflict. The less the other person knows about our personal life the better.

I agree with everything GoldCoCouple said except the above. We did well starting with people who we already knew, a couple of exes for my wife to start, then friends and acquaintances. Tread carefully, but these are people who we literally trusted our child with, and theirs with us. I suppose it depends whether you're looking for one-and-done arrangements, or something deeper. With the closed group of married couples we play with the trust allows for bareback play, alone play, etc. Consider both.