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William , before I respond to your question, I must ask ,Your profile says Glasgow , is that UK or somewhere in the US? We started later than some of the others. We were in our 60's. We married later in life, and it was not until then that the last of our children had moved on. We had always been of the mindset of there being a time for every purpose and up until that point the purpose was seeing them off into the world. We had always maintained an active sex life between us and had , early on, gotten into the habit of reserving time for just the two of us to do things together outside of the home. We realized that having offspring around was only a temporary thing. When we had the empty nest the questions were : What's next? Why not? There were some personal elements for me as well, but I have addressed them in other posts. For the two of us it was adventure. Because of our longer time together, right around 30 years, and our ages we did not have many of the issues some face. We knew each other and had a bedrock surety in our relationship.

Adam, I agree completely and enthusiastically with everything you’ve written here! Most particularly that, as the Blues Project sang decades ago "(t)here’s no tome like the right time, and baby, the right time is now!"

I had what is now called a hotwife in my twenties, participated very briefly in foursome activities in my thirties, and my 2nd wife and I enthusiastically took up swinging in our early 50's through our sixties. The best time to be swinging: Now! If you (and your significant other, if you have one,) are excited about sharing yourself with other people, then you'll have fun no matter what age you are. Can you do stuff longer and more acrobaticly when you're young? Of course! On the other hand, as you age your experience allows you to appreciate what you're into more and more.

I miss PSU Lioness as well, for the same reasons, although her approach to the lifestyle and her situation as a young married woman is different from Kellimc and more similar to mine,

I miss kellimc. As another young woman in the lifestyle, I empathize with her. Her approach to the lifestyle is refreshing.

Firstly, finding swing partners at a non-swinging resort is a very low probability event. (Except for single males, they're everywhere.) But more importantly, if your wife isn't enthusiastic about it, it shouldn't happen. Pushing her into a LifeStyle encounter is likely to damage your relationship.

NC , We asked ourselves "Should we have started sooner?" also. Our answer was a resounding NO, for us. Starting sooner would have been distracting from what we should have been doing then. When one door opens another is at least partially closed. When we were in our thirties, having children was the focus, mission accomplished. In our forties and fifties launching our children into adulthood was the focus, mission pleasantly accomplished. Our mid sixties and seventies have thus far been focused on exploration together. Most likely we are cultural outliers. It suits us.

Same here. We had less than a year in it when COVID hit. Now wishing we could have started earlier … sigh.

Perfect post! Too many of us go down a rabbit hole where sex is the main focus. Alan and I had a very vanilla life while sexually active most days with the one I love. What started as a fun experiment became what some have called an obsession looking for the next partners. This group is fun to post to and to read other’s experiences, whether real or what we call magazine worthy fantasy, it made us take a deep breath and ask are we living a risky life. You are correct, sex with others should not be a primary goal, live your life doing what you enjoy.

Our Lioness has gone through so much since she stopped posting. Very ironic the two quotes you posted, not all situations turn out the way we want. Our friend is a young lady that has witnessed some dark times but has support from very good nonjudgmental friends now.

From my experience having started in the lifestyle (but not exactly swinging) not long after I became sexually active, I would say that the best age is from the beginning. There are two reasons for this. The first is that humans are non-monogamous by nature, so it's best to throw off the religious and social inhibitions and constraints as young as possible. (Better even if one is raised without them in the first place.) I struggled a little with non-monogamy; not my own, but my husband’s and boyfriend's. From what I've read here, it's much more difficult for couples who have been married for twenty years to do so without doubt, drams, and difficulties. The second reason is that having multiple sex partners, and knowing that the person or person you love do as well, is physically and emotionally fulfilling. Let the fun begin early!

In retrospect, this made Daniela more attractive to me. Two reasons: She loved me unlike the other men with whom she had relationships, even romantic ones. She wanted children, or at least a child and saw how I treated my children with my ex-wife, and how I treated my ex-wife in that regard. And a bonus reason, after we married I was fine with her playing again.

I agree with you, and I think that I noticed this the first time on a nude beach. People are alot more friendlier and have no problem about approaching you. No problems or concerns with religion, politics race , or sexism. It's refreshing to be on a nude beach with open minded nude people!

Remember the Seinfeld episode in which George kept staring at the boss’ daughter’s cleavage? Jerry said you can’t do that, it’s like staring into the sun. You have to sneak a peak.

From the first time I stumbled upon the Swingersboard, I noticed how civil, understanding, and empathetic the members are. People in the lifestyle are genuinely at a higher level of humanity.

I was twenty-three when David and I were married. As background, I was fifteen and in high school when I met Red, who was in college. I started college when I was sixteen, started having full-on sex with Red at seventeen, got engaged and moved in with him at nineteen. I called off the wedding, moved out, met David, kept seeing/confiding in/sleeping with Red, started sleeping with David at twenty-one. (A big year.) Started MFMing with them at twenty-two, and David asked me to marry him. (A bigger year.) I married David at twenty-three all the while still involved with Red. My biggest year came when our girlfriend Clair became pregnant, I decided to as well and our poly family was created.

We are in the younger group but we have a life outside of sex. We enjoy being with friends, going out to sporting events, music events, travel, camping, hiking and life. We have plenty of sex at home that is very fulfilling while sex with others is not the primary thing in life.

Hubby and I both wear sunglasses at the nude beach. I’d be disappointed if men weren’t checking me out as thoroughly as they wanted to. That’s a turn on for me. And in turn hubby and I both enjoy the views.

We try to only use photos to make it easier for us to meet the first time. Within the first 5 minutes of meeting IRL, we can almost always tell if there is any connection. Even when there isn't a connection, it's usually a good time meeting other people with like minds. Bottom line is we always try to meet rather quickly after finding another couple that we may be interested in. It saves a great deal of time instead of endless back and forth emails and texting...

No, you're not setting your sights too high...but just remember that photos don't always capture how attractive someone is. We found that personality trumps physical beauty every time.

I'm not a guy and I don't watch porn, but the thought (and reality) of anyone in my poly family having sex with someone else really fascinates me and turns me on. This is rooted in my original jealousy, but now it is a swirl of emotions and sexual interest. Separately, I would like to know, but don't want to do my own research - are Jan B and Mary O real people, or is it a reference to something that I have become to old to get?

I prefer home videos of real people. Swingers or not. Shared wives. Mature. More real situational or cockold. Sex play that mimics real life situations rather than staged/acted.

I'm delighted to hear that Jan B and Mary O are two of your favorite amateur content creators!

My experience was somewhat similar along that progression. Moved in as roommate. Then became playmates. Then in a poly relationship.

Women are amazing that way. After my wife has been with another man, she is as good if not better than ever.

I love to reclaim K after swinging, the feel of sloppy seconds and she needs a little more fucking before being spent.

For the guys, it was never cuckoldry, just two men who loved me and enjoyed sex with me so much that they were monogamous. I tried really hard to keep them both satisfied. (Hubby sometimes liked to watch me with Red, Red didn't like to watch me with someone else.) I was the one who enjoyed being a female cuckold, wanting to reclaim my husband after he had sex with another woman. But as much as I wanted sex with him, reclaiming was eating his cum out of her and giving her as good an orgasm as he did.

Our poly family formed by the slow accretion of partners. I broke up with my fiancé, but was still seeing him, then met a man who became my second lover and husband. He didn’t live with us at first, but nearby. Then I wanted hubby to play and arranged for female friends and acquaintances to do so. It brought out my Lesbian side and eventually one, then another of those women moved in. Now we're a family of five plus a bunch of children. We have also done some regular swinging along the way.

About 10 years ago we swapped with friends one time before we were married. We didn't even know about swinging. Six years ago my wife secret.y set up a swinging date with friends,I didn't even know that she was interested.everything went great and since we have had over 50 encounters. Each time got better as we gained experience. Last week we were swinging with a new couple, they will be visiting us again this week. We'll be teaching them. Swinging is fun. No experience necessary.

Her clit. When I'm on the bottom doing 69 with her and he's in her, I like him occasionally pulling out of her and putting in my mouth. After they finish, I'll turn over and go after them individually on my knees. But yeah, I like to go into their slop.

What does it for me is watching my husband tenderly making love to another woman missionary, them kissing passionately. Afterwards, him fucking me doggy like an animal while I eat her out. Doesn't happen much lately, but still a good experience when I get it.

Kind of a delivery guy story. This happen a long long time ago. After my divorce from first husband, I lived in an apartment across from a shopping center. There was a grocery store in the shopping center I would walk over to. One afternoon walked across the street to grab a few things. Saw a guy that was stocking the cigarette shelves (do grocery store even sell cigarettes anymore?). We both just looked at each other and smiled. As I was walking back to my apartment I saw him getting back into his delivery van. Not sure what got into me but I simply walked up to him and said "if you got time for a fuck I'm in apartment 316 across the street". He replied he would be right over after he finished his paper work. Needless to say about 10-minutes later there was a knock on my door. I let him in and we both just went animal wild, didnt make to the bedroom had our clothes off instantly and just fucked right in the living room. We hardly said a word to each other. Never got his name and never saw him again, but he left a lasting impression. I'm guessing for some reason I thought of it as a revenge fuck, but my ex was out of the picture then. Maybe I was just woke up really horny that day.