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Did you look for any outward signs suggesting they are swingers? Black rings on the ring finger of their right hand, anklets ot necklaces with certain charms on them? As the husband in a couple who has picked up single men at parties, I can assure you we're out there. But then again, sometimes a smile and a wink is just a smile and a wink.

There are at least two differences between the vanilla world and the LS world. 1. "Handshake and wink..." In the vanilla world, people like ambiguity and leading others on. In the LS world, authenticity and candor are prized. At an LS gathering, the response could well be, "Why thank you! Would you like to {find somewhere quieter to continue this conversation?|have us call you?|plan to get together later this week?| etc.} Still, there is a possibility of miscommunication or misinterpretation that might lead to... 2. "No, thank you." In the vanilla world, this rejection would taken personally and internalized. In the LS world, rejection is accepted and even embraced as endorsement of autonomy. It is as if the expression of interest had never occurred, and is never taken as a referendum on worthiness, attractiveness, and so on. Giving or receiving "no, thank you" is seen as intrinsic to the environment. It doesn't matter whether the "no, thank you" is in response to a bid for conversation, an offer to fetch a beverage, or an invitation to intimacy, it's just an expression of preference.

It's my belief that soft *swap* means that the couples will interact with each other. The wife of one couple will be sexual with the husband of the other, and vice versa. Exactly what activities go on (kissing, petting, oral, etc.) is up to the couples. There is no PIV penetration. If the couples only watch each other, and there is no physical interaction, that is not soft-swap, as I believe it.

Yes, and perhaps that's the point: they are messaging themselves more than they are messaging those around them. It may be a way of granting themselves permission to act differently than they would act in a vanilla setting ("assuming their secret identities" as it were). Sometimes the jewelry might be talismans, carrying some mystical power. Where there are his'n'her objects (both have black rings, for example) , they may serve as a reminder that they are going to reconnect and go home with each other. We do not look at the jewelry as a signal that "yes, we are LS at an LS event". Rather, we look at the jewelry (and the textiles etc.) as part of the projected personae.

I had a relatively brief relationship with a woman I had known already in a social context. We both had other primary partners. After our first kiss she said that to her kissing was the most intimate sexual act. I don’t completely agree, but I don’t find very satisfying one-on-one sex that doesn’t include passionate kissing.

I understand why some people would want to be soft swap vs. full swap, but I never understood the no kissing rule. So I can put my mouth on and in another woman’s pussy, I can insert my penis into her vagina, but kissing is too intimate? Don’t get it.

My understanding is that soft swap includes oral sex and full swap is sexual intercourse.

The deed is done. I sent a full-frontal nude of my wife - in the shower, glistening wet, not even a glass shower door to obscure the view - with the simple comment: "We have been enjoying Alicia's pic all week. Fair is fair. Enjoy!" A minute later: "OMG 😳" Then: "Fuck!! 🤩" Then: "But we sent that as payment for your services. Now we owe you again!" I don't want an ongoing pic exchange, so I replied "Let's get together in the new year and settle it then. Merry Christmas!" So it seems the story continues. In 25 years of swinging we have "broken in" several new couples, but never actual vanilla friends before. So at this point, we are open to any suggestions regarding next steps!

If she isn't your wife, marry her immediately. Before we met, my wife went to strip club amateur nights with some girlfriends and danced. She said it satisfied her exhibitionist desires at the time. What sticks in my mind from what she's told me is that they all became totally naked, but my wife did the reverse of what the other girls (and they were "girls" at the time) did. The others danced topless for a while then took off their panties and flashed pussy at the end. My wife became bottomless early on and spread her lips and ass while dancing. She only removed her top and flashed her tits at the end. I wish I were there.

Yes, that was the name of it. He was very proud of it as I think it was something he and Laura had talked about, like "we ought to write a book someday!" and so he did as a promise fulfilled after she passed away.

Alura had more influence on this site than most will ever know. All of the above is all totally true, but that was just the forward facing part of his involvement here. He was on the mod team from way back, way before me, and his counsel and approach to things runs all through how this site has always operated. Even after Laura's passing when he didn't publicly post nearly as much, he still kept in touch as a "mod emeritus" and would offer wise words about how to handle this or that situation or the overall direction of the site. A one of a kind, a full and interesting life well lived, there's really not words to do him justice.

This young Lioness has gone through some tough times in the last few years, marriage being a major effect on her personal life. Without saying too much she has moved a few times, fell on some difficult times and is doing much better now. She has the toughness of young lady with street smarts she learned early on in her life. Those who don’t know her, she is still younger than most on here and was only in her twenties when she became active. Alan and I met her and her ex and found her an extremely smart astute person who knows what she wants and can defend herself against bullies in real life and on any social postings. It’s ironic that the poster that PeterJ thinks pushed her to stop posting is no longer posting either. I just went back to that topic and saw your posts defending our friend.

Alas, the arrow of time moves in one direction and points towards our individual and collective end. Alura touched many of us. We will remember him for his love of Laura and for his courage soldiering on after she died. We will honor him with gratitude for today in the face of an indeterminate tomorrow.

If you’re looking to have a same room experience with just one other couple, it’s not likely to happen at a club … most couples there are looking for either a true swap experience or to just have their own fun. You should open a membership at a site such as SLS, SDC, or Kasidie. (I’m sure there must be others, but those are the ones I’ve heard of.) I don’t know about the latter two, but SLS allows you to search for couples within X miles of a specific geographic location and it indicates every member’s level of interest in Full, Soft, and Watch. You might have better luck going that route.

Although the late Mrs. Alura I had only a little experience, Pacergirl, I can tell you what seemed to work best. It's best not to make this an early experience on a play-date. Take a load in your pussy from both men, one at a time. You need to be well-lubricated. Rest and have a drink before going for The Main Event. When the men are ready again, or sooner if you have two unused men at hand, do what you have to do to get Man Number One seated on a couch with you impaled in reverse-cowgirl fashion. Lie back in his arms. Raise and spread your knees, resting your feet on Man Number One's thighs. Man Number Two, if you chose properly, will open your labia with his tongue, visiting your clit often as Man Number One pumps you. Their goal will be to make you come. Keep your guys informed of your progress. Just before the climax starts, Mrs. Alura was likely to say,"NOW, I WANT BOTH COCKS NOW!!!" Man Number Two will raise and lay his penis atop Man Number One's, who will reach around your body and use Man Number Two's cock to press his own toward the back of your vagina. Point your toes at the chandelier, relax your vagina and the second cock will glide in for you. Let us know how it goes!

If any of the old goats on SB are still around, we've lost a legend. Al of Alura passed away on the 10th, joining his wife who passed some years before. Goddamned cancer! You may recognize Alura's name around here on some of the older posts, giving sage advice, and blessing us with his earthy sense of humour. I've enjoyed a years-long internet friendship with Al, and I will deeply miss our conversations. I always meant to get down to Oklahoma to meet him in person and regret that I never did. If anyone has memories to share, please do.

I was at a party recently with a group of neighbors. One of the women looked at me on and off all night, even when she was next to her husband. I shared some friendly conversation with both of them. At the end of the evening, the husband shook my hand and gave me a quick wink. I am not too experienced in swinging. Is this a know, explicit sign to let me know they are interested in me? Thanks in advance for any input