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I'm still around. Surprised anyone still remembers me. I might not post as much as I used to, but I do read the forums occasionally.

When my wife was in her single days of having relationships with cheating married men, she said that they treated her like a treasure and with respect, that's why she preferred them. They not only got sex, sometimes kinky sex, that they didn't get at home, they also got understanding conversation, empathy, and encouragement that they didn't necessarily receive. That's also why we prefer our group of married couples who we play with now. It's not just a quick fuck and goodbye, there is genuine feelings and appreciation between us and the people we fuck. It doesn't both me that my wife will exchange I love you's with one of the guys, he appreciates her and doesn't treat her a a quick fuck whore. He cares.

Ignore this guy and move on. The drama that a married man brings, or at least the risk of that drama, isn't worth the 30-45 minutes of possible enjoyment. Trying to find a guy to complete an MFM is like trying to find sand on the beach. There are quite a few other options that don't expose you to the risk of finding your rabbit boiling in a pot on the stove.

Something else that I found that surprised me: "In comparing the datasets, the researchers found that men who are in consensually non-monogamous marriages are actually significantly less happy than married men at large, while women who are in consensually nonmonogamous marriages are significantly happier than married women at large." Source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/cjfy/index.php/cjfy/article/download/29825/21755/78506%23:~:text%3DIn%20comparing%20the%20datasets%2C%20the,married%20women%20at%20large%20

I like the variety of body hair on women, from shaved everywhere except her head, to letting it grow everywhere. Daniela will vary her body hair from a little landing strip only to letting her bush grow full and some pit hair. It's all female and I love it all, the variety.

You must allow your wife to pursue the sex that is her fantasy and that she enjoys. Let your wife choose the man or woman who she wants to have sex with. Let her also decide when, where, and how she wants to do it, and most importantly, whether she wants you to be there or not. Make it all about her pleasure and fun and that that you will not play with another woman. Listen if she wants to talk about her experiences, but don't interrogate her if she doesn't want to talk. NEVER criticize her choices. Then enjoy the adventure that she takes you on.

I never said was wrong I just see the excitement of seeing an up close Cunt picture without seeing the body it’s attached to. This is for me, my preference

Starting late; THANKS for the update! I'm soooo thrilled to hear it went so well for you and your wife! Fantastic times! Yes, it definitely uncorks the sex drive and gets us screwing like bunnies This is a very common, and very wonderful outcome! My wife and I too wanted to have closer friendships rather than single time hookups. We haven't been to a swing club in over ten years. It's gone well for us. I can go well for you too!

I love cum and hair pulling; I love to feel cum being pumped into me and on me. I also love feeling cum dry on my nipples. Also; it really turns me on when a man holds my head by my hair as I have him in my mouth, feeling the grip slowly tighten as he approaches orgasm. I also have a thing for silk and satin, the touch is so sensuous and erotic.

For the both of us it's cum. Suzy likes the raw sexualness of it, and the feeling of it on her (more than in her). I love the visual of it happening, and of a cum covered body. We only have very minimal swinging experience. Our first time was a spontaneous hookup with a couple, and both husbands went bareback. Not the smartest or safest thing we've ever done, and wouldn't do again, but there is an amazing sensuality to cum play. I don't consider myself bisexual, but making love to Suzy while the 2 of us played with his cum....ummmazing. Also, Suzy has recently discovered the ability to squirt. It's not like the porn movies (do those women drink a gallon of water beforehand??) But it's erotic AF. A quick rush of fluid, followed by a trickle of a stream for as long as she can handle. Not sure if that counts as my kink or hers or both : )

Bareback swinging or hookups are probably my biggest fetish, along with women being a bit of a size queen. I often return to this forum to share a link of the polls here on bareback sex.

The only time I do/have done this is during my BDSM "fights" with Lora, which we only have when alone, the others don't even want to watch. Our first episode was when I peed on Lora's legs and feet after she lost a fight. My most memorable event was when I lost, had to get on all fours and Lora pissed on my head and neck. So warm, so kinky, so loving. We do this in the shower as a final act of acquiescence by the loser, wash up and make love.

I asked for your criteria, not an invitation for a viewing. I will share are my standards. For a woman, who have by far the prettier behinds (not just asses): round, not much wider than the hip bones, muscular with a little padding not droopy, dimples up top, a bum hole that is either totally uncolored or very high contrast dark, pussy lips visible through a thigh gap... For a man: a muscular ass, not too hairy, testicles and penis visible between parted legs.

Having now read the article, it confirms my reason for dropping my subscription and brings two thoughts: This piece confirms that the lifestyle isn't devoid of permanent relationships or causes them to teeter; it solidifies them. When I first started in the lifestyle with two boyfriends who were monogamous with me, I thought that it was great but couldn't last, although I tried to please them both in every way. After David asked me to marry him and we did with bf involved more than ever, I still thought that. Bringing in another woman and me opening to my Lesbian side seemed more chaotic. But fun. The serious turning point was when our gf Clair became inadvertently pregnant, and we were all joyous. I quickly went off bc and making love with both men became purposeful. Our family was cemented, everyone responsible, even bf took on all responsibilities of fatherhood though neither child is biologically his. Subsequently adding another woman to our family wasn't a fling, it was a commitment ceremony. My personal story agrees with the article in that the lifestyle, however it is fashioned, strengthens relationships rather than undercuting them. My second point is that adulterous affairs are not merely a lack of transparency, they are an admission of wrongdoing, of sin. And that is the reason that religious traditionalists are more accepting and forgiving of adulterous affairs over the lifestyle. The lifestyle rejects any stigma of sinfulness associated with its sexual exploits.

Fantasyfun, I think this guy's a keeper I hope it continues to develop into a long term boyfriend sort of situation. My wife had that with two different men (not at the same time), and it was grand. I'm really, really glad your wife is having such a good time!!

That is true they are everywhere but you don’t want to be treated like a pussy because you like to see your spouce pleased and not treated like a whore ……finding one that will treat your spouse with respect is the trick

Great observations and points. As with many things, people often react the way that they think their tribe expects them to react. In large part it's what keeps racism alive. I saw a recently divorced woman get crap from her friends for being civil to her ex and his new woman. "Are you going to let her get away with that?!" they said. Jesus himself told the mob to put down their stones.

I am the female equivalent of that. Not a humiliation aspect (well, maybe a little) but the idea of my man sexually enjoying another woman and she enjoying him. I wonder, how does she feel different or the same as me, does he feel the same to her as he does to me? I can see an appreciate the way the actual sex acts are different.

Hello everyone. A brief holiday update. We all had a wonderful time with family and friends between Christmas Eve and New Years Day. Nothing of note regarding the lifestyle other than our poly family, with one tangential exception…. We received a Christmas gift from Joe and Shannon, an over-the-top, expensive, totally unexpected gift. They bought for us a hot tub, a premium one that we were considering but hadn’t decided whether to spend the money. When visiting us, the brochure and quote for installation was laying out in our house and Shan had apparently taken a picture of the paperwork. They sent us a Christmas card by Express Mail telling us what they had done and told us to call the local rep about the installation; he had already been paid. They said that meeting us had upended their lives so totally – their love had increased and the sex between them was of another world - that they felt that they had to do something. In short, they had planned a winter vacation, but it never happened because of the time they spent with us. They decided to spend the money on us instead. We were all astounded. I called her more than half thinking that it was all a joke, but she insisted it was real. For a moment I felt a little bit like a prostitute, but Shannon immediately made three things clear: that we were to never, ever buy them anything, period; that there was to be no feeling on our part of any future expectation of getting together for sex; there was to be no future expectation that we would invite them to use the tub. She said that what we had given them had changed their marriage completely. Instead of feeling like a prostitute, it made me think of how both of them were more into Red and David fucking the bejeebers out of Shannon than they were exploiting Clair, Lora, or me. And what they did do with us women was loving and giving. I mean, it was I who had initially gone after Joe, then Shannon to satisfy my own sexual desires. Joe told me that he never desired a woman so much as he craved Lora and me, but in a way that made him want his wife even more. Shannon said that the five of us are always there in their bedroom whenever they are having sex – the talk, the fantasies. Anyway, we are looking forward to our next encounter, their planned, but as yet unscheduled, visit to our area before the end of January.

That's actually not a bad idea. If she can take the money and then just give it to other dancers then there is no need for them to get upset. One of the clubs where they are very loose with the rules they were happy to have my GF dance on stage and privately and encouraged her to keep the money to make sure it stayed competitive with the other girls. They let her do lap dances and private "dances" too.

We've tried many fetishes over the years, but cuckoldry is the one that stuck.

This is wonderful and the way it should be. No angst within a couple trying to decide whether and how to get into the lifestyle after years of marriage. The marriage started properly non-monogamous.

In short, my answer is no. I have a friend from High School that I used to be close to, then we grew apart and recently resumed a relationship with (albeit somewhat superficial). Apparently he is in the LS and has had a number of experiences with his ex-wife. He's asked me to help set him and his current GF up with some of our friends but I've resisted completely. Who you refer is a reflection on you and, despite liking him, I know he and his GF are headcases, super jealous and a bit reckless. It would probably be fine, but my wife is temperamental about the LS as is and the last thing I want is to create issues with the friends we actually still have a relationship going with.

Definitely never helped any family members with setups in the lifestyle. We always have single friends who always have someone they want to introduce us to though.

Interesting topic... My wife and I met during a swinging party and were introduced to each other by a mutual friend. Basically I was told that Rose needed a man to look after her after a messy divorce and she was feeling a little sad and unhappy. After we had a few 'Dates' with just each other Rose moved in with me for weekends... Which eventually led to us getting married.

It is amazing what you can discover in the lifestyle with understanding and generosity.

That all makes perfect sense, and fortunately we both seem to be on the same page, so far. That being said, in our first and only experience, it was a shock to the two of us that she enjoyed her time with the female half of the other couple so much. As in alot! I'm a guy, so of course I'm interested in that :) but she has never expressed any interest, and in the past has totally shut down any suggestion about it. Not homophobic in the least, but it's something she has said she has no interest in. But then all of a sudden, here come the water works. I think for the most part we're interested in either a couple, or a man for her, but her interest in another woman has been a pleasant surprise. I guess it's all part of the fun journey of this lifestyle that is also alot of self discovery, but I also think that I'm the type of person that analyzes everything waaaay too much, and in that respect it was definitely confusing to me that it was such a turn around. From practically 100% no, to holy shit!

It is common wisdom here to say, "Only move as fast as the slowest partner in your swinging journey." That assumes that the couple is moving in sync, which is not necessary. So may I add a corollary: if you are comfortable with something, but your partner is not, let her move ahead. What put my husband and I on the right path in the lifestyle was him allowing me to have a boyfriend for two years while he stayed monogamous. Then, suddenly, I was ready, eager, to share him. The lifestyle opened up my Lesbian side which I didn't know that I had. It would have been a tragedy for me to have missed that part of my life.

Funmom, So does my wife. She calls it "cleaning up after man".

I love eating another woman out after my husband just cum in her

Hi, Petra here adding my endorsement. It makes me feel wonderful both to suck a dick or eat a pussy after the two of them have made love. An exquisite mixture.