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Repeat the mantra, "women run the LS". They make all of the decisions and have absolute veto power.

Assume they are curious and they know you are LS experienced… Make it clear that you are focused on their experience. Ask about dietary preferences and restrictions in advance. Tell them your dress code for arrival. If they were coming to our place, on arrival we would give them a house tour including the room we reserve for guests with robes out on the bed, lights on on the room and tell them the space is theirs to use. We would be serving a light adult beverage and a light meal. We would have a light dessert prepped on the fridge BUT, after dinner, we would ask if they would like to join us in the hot tub for a soak. We would bring plastic glasses and some beverage with us to cool down. During the house tour, we mention that we ask guests to shower before getting into the hot tub (remember those robes?) and that no one bothers with swimsuits in the hot tub. Once in the hot tub, we do turn on the bubbles to give some privacy under water.

We met tens of scared, cautious, curious couples over the years, almost all reached out to us to start them on a new journey. All of the couples contained a woman who for many different reason wanted to know what being with another woman is. My first meeting was filling my husband’s curiosity of wanting to see me with another woman, a thing I did before meeting him. Our first was not typical, I was not a newbie, my husband was. I found the scenario changed each time we met a newbie, all came in with the intent of the wife/gf curious of touching a woman. Most needed help taking the edge off, wine, liquor or a pharmaceutical, I never let an inebriated woman go further. Touching and kissing of very willing partner, or slowing down a hesitant partner. Some wanted to touch others wanted to be touched, we read the signals.

Warming up to the hot tub idea. Naked, close proximity….

Well said. A first visit to an LS couple's home for newbies is always an event that calls (their) questions: are we LS people? If so, where are we on this journey? If so, where do we want to be on this journey? Some notes: 1. There is never a second chance to make a first impression. In a very real sense, we are the other couple's first contact with 'real LS folks' (whatever that means). Grace, sensitivity, comfort--these things matter. Perhaps above all else, choice and respect for choices -- the autonomy of the LS-- is continued throughout the visit. Regardless of what play or chemistry or connections evolve, the visitors should have an enjoyable visit. We do not presuppose a match; rather we want visitors to leave thinking that somewhere there is a match for them. 2. Newbies can have difficulty in managing uncertainty and in framing questions. They might find it awkward and they might simply not know what to ask. One of the most useful approaches that we learned...and we use...is to tell FIBs. No, not fibs, FIBs. That is, to encourage articulation of fantasies; intentions; and boundaries. Being able to speak about FIBs is not just about clarification, it is about reassurance. We'll add that it is not just the visitors--it is the hosts as well. For the evening, our fantasy might be that the visitors go home with a sense that LS people and the LS might be more authentic than the visitors imagine; our intention is to communicate and model the respect and passion that is foundational to the LS; and our boundary is to not to make the visitors question their decision to put a toe (or 20) in the LS waters. 3. Everyone was a newbie once. There was/is an overwhelming sense of vulnerability in the internal questions of "am I like those people?", "do we want to be like those people?", "what will it mean for our relationship to dip our toes in this or that alternative social norms?", "what if we don't like it?", and "what if we do like it?" There is a sense of vulnerability in the external questions, "What if our hosts do not like us?" Awareness of vulnerability is key to many first experiences in anything, LS or otherwise.

I think the woman of the couple is often more picky. It’s been the downfall of some of our recent couplings and it gives our male, who is confident in his appearance, personality and sexual abilities, a complex.

First and foremost: Find out what their limits and expectations are and let them know that is what the limits for everyone will be for the night. My guess is that they will be comfortable with same room sex (or same hot tub sex) but if they are comfortable with more, then so be it. What IS important is whatever their limits are, DO NOT EXCEED them (even if, in the heat of the...tub, they are willing to go further). They both need to be on the same page going into this and all too often, one will want to go further and the other will 'just go along' or not say anything and that can cause problems later between the two of them. There is always the next time to go further. Just take things easy and help them enjoy the ride, but remember to always go at the speed the slowest member is comfortable with. Have fun and help them as they make their way into this adventure.

The old hot tub seduction! I think we are more comfortable on land ( the boudoir).

Do newbie women start the action normally with the man or woman? Our first try with a couple had a hard stop by my wife, her veto power. My frustration. Our first sexual encounter was with the less than mythical unicorn, a guy’s dream. The girls kissed and breasts were fondled, the true hesitancy was touching below the waist by my wife. Fortunately for us no hesitation by our new friend eased further play. Don’t think that was true here.

You are one of the few people here, or I suppose anywhere, that understands my wife's approach to dating mostly married men during her single days when she wasn't looking for marriage but was looking for sex and an interesting relationship. That relationship involved the wife as an unknowing, yet very much involved, party. Daniela met every one of these wives without them knowing that she was like a spirit involved in their marriage. Daniela always strived to understand both of them and make their relationship better, including buying the wife gifts for the husband to give her and explaining to the husband the wife's side. Daniela said that she never broke up a marriage and left nearly all of them much improved, never worse. When we decided with my encouragement that Daniela's nature is being non-monogamous and that she should seek outside partners without me playing, she expected that she would go back to having relationships with married men. I was totally against it unless the wife knew and approved because I didn't fully understand what she was doing. She never did go back to married men with unknowing wives, but our current situation of swinging with married couples actually suits her much better. Daniela loves being part if couple's sex lives and being able to openly discuss the sex play and relationships with both the husband and wife. With Daniela being very bisexual, she can satisfy that part of herself as well without having other separate relationships with lesbians.

The older-age sexless-lives situation is more closely detailed here https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7489086/ and is worth reading by younger and older people on this list. There are clear correlations between sustained sexual activity and mental health. Whether sex is more or less important than Sudoku, Wordle, Connections and the other puzzles, who knows. But like healthy eating, regular exercise, moderation in alcohol, regular sex correlates with well-being in the older population.

When my wife was in her single days of having relationships with cheating married men, she said that they treated her like a treasure and with respect, that's why she preferred them. They not only got sex, sometimes kinky sex, that they didn't get at home, they also got understanding conversation, empathy, and encouragement that they didn't necessarily receive. That's also why we prefer our group of married couples who we play with now. It's not just a quick fuck and goodbye, there is genuine feelings and appreciation between us and the people we fuck. It doesn't both me that my wife will exchange I love you's with one of the guys, he appreciates her and doesn't treat her a a quick fuck whore. He cares.

We too miss his insights and comments. You never know why you stop seeing posts from certain people, hoping it’s just the world that changes not catastrophic events. RIP.

Trying to give thought to this, two people in love marry whether in the traditional heterosexual sense or in the very now excepted same sex way. A homosexual, male or female, finds an attraction to one sex for a loving relationship and does not preclude getting pleasure from the other sex. The difference between be bisexual and being homosexual and being able to have sex with the other sex is interesting. Unlike Ms. McCray it doesn’t sound that these women have “gone straight”, they are just enjoying a freedom to be sexual.

There was topic the other day about what to do with all there swinging photos/videos. Well this past Christmas holiday my husband got himself a new computer, he follow the basic installation. while installing he installed OneDrive. A few days later our daughter saw a new icon on her laptop with the OneDrive icon and saw us in one of are "parties" from 2016. Hubby didn't realize he put it in shared mode. She kinda freak out and call us to her room and explain ourselves and what we are doing. At that point since the cat is out of the bag, we told her the truth and about us and our lifestyle and what we have done. She was asking us a whole lot of questions and we were honest to all her questions. During all this confession, our daughter told us that she is bi too, only since June 2021, and told us her first time happen in a foursome with her ex bf at the time and her bff and her bf in a after school prom party. During the Covid lock down she felt bored and wishes to try new stuff. So with her friends and all four agree to try something new and try the foursome. She told us that she like the experience and she and them continued to have experience with three and four some till my daughter broke up with her bf ( for other reason) and she continued to have threesome with her bff and bf ever once and a while. Recently she ask us that she wanted to try it and become a swinger and see what it was like. She ask us if it ok with us to take her to 1 of our local clubs for her 19 birthday in March (legal age where we are from) and (if there no other delay in opening thing open up). It was something we did not expect to be ask from her. I was speechless for the first time in a long time. I did not know how to answer her. I know I need to give her answer soon. I know I can not keep dodging the question and I need to answer her soon. We haven't told any of our swingers friends about her and her request . She the oldest of all our swingers friends who have kids. We never really talk about it, our kids life, We do not know if any of our swingers friends haved shared their personal life to there own kids. We know our daughter is adult, gonna be 19 in March, old enough to make her own choices in life. We trust her judgment. If we do not give her our blessing we don't how she will react, she might go off and go own her own without any real knowledge of the people she hang out with. And if we do give our blessings we know that she will be safe with people and places that we know and we can give her the best advice we can. We are aware that if we do give our blessings there a good chance that she might be "playing" with are swingers friends. And we are ok with that. It all part of the Swinger lifestyle. Different people, different ages, everyone there having a good time. Our question to you all is, how do we proceed, do we give her our blessings or not. Any parents here that had similar situation happen to them. And any people here who has swingers parents ? what was it like knowing that your parents were swingers. What was it like knowing the truth about them. Thank you for your time in reading this long text. And thanks in advance for the replies.