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Use your ears more than your mouth. Things change even during a session. Hearing , recognizing and responding to the clues is a good thing. I try to start gently and run through my basic menu and go from there.

I figure if you have to ask you aren’t doing it right. Every woman will react differently and will respond when you do it the way she likes.

Starting Late, I’m going to assume you didn’t just post this because you wanted a thrill from reading women write about receiving oral. (You’ll note that none have responded.) As a male who has given oral to well over 100 women over the years, I will offer a couple of observations. I had a bi-female FWB who appreciated the quality of the oral I gave her sufficiently that she arranged for one of her female partners to join us. She told me that men generally were better at cunnilingus that gay or bi women because "women just assume you’ll want to get licked the same way they do." For sure I didn’t make that assumption. It’s remarkable how differently women want to be orally pleasured. Some like the lightest of tongue, licking labia until they are sufficiently aroused that they want direct clitoral stimulation. Women are all over the place in how they want to receive oral. Some like a firmer approach. Sometimes a lot firmer. An FWB when I was in grad school once urged me to get my teeth engaged with her clit. For most women I’ve known even a gentle nibble from me would have brought an abrupt end to the session. This woman wanted a lot of teeth. After a gentle dental caress she said "Harder! Bite it harder! Why do you think they call it eating?" 😂 My recommendation to you is that if you find yourself with a woman where the opportunity to give her head presents itself, you should ask her upfront about how she likes to be eaten, and tell her you want at least a bit of feedback about what feels good and what feels better. Don’t you do that when you are receiving a blowjob?

Now in our closed group of married bareback couples, no one ever washes up. We all like the mess, the smell, the taste, the feel of sloppy seconds. Our wives in particular, all bi, like to suck a flaccid sloppy dick after it emerges from a vagina having done what it is dicks do in there.

I like direct clit licking .... until I don't! It really depends. The good man is the one who reads me as he does it.

The question that I find important to ask each time, because even for the same woman the preference will change depending on the occasion, is whether she wants to be digitally penetrated in her vagina, bum, or both. I always ask when I go down and have it asked of me. When penetration is requested, it's usually the index and middle in the pussy and the ring finger in the bum hole. That's my preference. Otherwise, there's usually no further discussion. A good partner can sense what's working. (Hint: for me, tonguing my vag isn't one of them, it's just not enough stimulation. Just stick to licking my clit.)

I never wear a condom with Wu including when we were at parties. When I went bareback with another woman I would wash off in the sink unless someone wanted to lick me off. I love to eat pussy, difficult to take a break when it's busy. I agree with Numex, if we were in a closed group plan on changing the sheets when they are soaked, in the meantime make use of all that natural lube!

After electric lights for homes, one of the first (if not the very first) non-industrial or non-public uses of electricity was to power vibrators as a means of providing women with orgasms. As many on this board are aware, in the late 19th century women "suffering" from the now long-discredited diagnosis of hysteria were masturbated to orgasms by their physicians. Other sex toys, mostly dildos, trace their origins back centuries, but by the early 20th century vibrators became popular home appliances, though always marketed euphemistically as for "relaxation of tight muscles" or "stress reduction". Reviewing this thread I found myself thinking about my personal history with spouses/lovers and toys, and also about my acquaintance through a different business with Tex Williams, who a half-century ago was the first person to market a vibrator, dubbed the Prelude 3, explicitly for sexual enjoyment. I did an internet search for Tex and the Prelude 3 and (exclusive of ads for vibrators) the second citation after a 1981 NY Times article on the business of non- prostitution sex was my 2018 post right here on the Swingers Board. 😂😊 (Which cited the now 42-year-old Times article.) For those interested, so you don’t have to go searching through the board’s archive, see below my nearly six-year-old comment. The only thing I will now add is that among the 200 or so women I’ve engaged with over my 60+ years of being sexually active, not only is there a small minority of women who for one reason or another don’t wish to receive oral, so too is there a segment of sexually active women who find even gentle vibrators too intense to be enjoyable. And a number of women (and their male partners) who are turned off by the prospect of using any toys in any context. (I’m not judging; each of us as individuals and as partners in pleasure have to determine what works for us and what doesn’t.) Here is my original comment: Posted May 28, 2018 I have no problem at all with my partners using vibrators (or other toys) when we play, though I’ve had several experiences with couples where the woman was shy about using any of the toys — vibes, plugs or dildos — that she normally uses with her husband or S.O. It’s like, threesomes or moresomes are cool, but somehow toys are too pervy to use except alone or when they are alone with their regular partner. I know that 130 years ago vibrators were one of the first applications once homes (and doctors’ offices) were wired for electricity. But it was only in the early 1970s that discussions of the use of vibes for sexual gratification became common in the popular press (and I think among casual friends.) My first wife and I married when we were in our early 20s, and it was only during our courtship that she had learned to have orgasms. Once we discovered vibrators she became totally entranced on how easy it made her cum. And I became a regular Johnny Appleseed among friends and lovers, sometimes purchasing vibes for our friends who were too shy to frequent an adult bookshop. (Which was pretty much the only place in those days one could buy sex toys.). I introduced both of my subsequent wives to vibrators and they quickly became so canditioned to the ease of achieving orgasm that they stopped being able to cum through intercourse. Which has never been an issue for me. My current wife, who was always an easy cummer (when she was younger she would sometimes finger herself to orgasm when on long solo drives) is now almost 70 and after 30+ years of vibrator play is experiencing the strongest and longest orgasms of her life. What’s not to like there? Plus, we have found a couple of positions for intercourse where a wand-type vibrator provides such strong stimulation that I experience quite intense vibratory pleasure as well. Backtracking to the early 1970s, my first real job out of college was selling business equipment in New Jersey. The son of the owner of the business ran an affiliated business that sold tab cards (only us old people will remember when tab cards were the main way of entering computer data) but on the side he started a business selling through the mail a massager-type vibrator called the Prelude 3. It was to the best of my knowledge the first vibrator that was unabashedly marketed for the purpose of providing sexual stimulation and satisfaction. I just did a quick internet search for Tex Williams and Prelude 3 and came up with this 1981 article from The New York Times. It’s worth reading if you need a reminder of how far things have come in the past three and a half decades: https://www.nytimes.com/1981/02/09/nyregion/sex-is-a-growing-multibillion-business-first-of-two-articles.html Here is the specific reference to Tex & the Prelude 3: “Tex Williams, developer of the Prelude 3 vibrator, whose success has spurred several major companies to enter the field, said that vibrator sales now totaled about 1.3 million units a year, worth $15 million. The agency always refers to the therapeutic use of such instruments, but they are often used for sexual stimulation, as manufacturers know.”

ROCKlandCpl, your post has generated an interesting discussion with a wide variety of opinions represented. But in looking back at your original post I find myself quite curious about two things. First, what was her response to your question what makes her "…enjoy solitary sex over human contact…? Second, what was it about that response that you found "surprising" and "depressing" and that stirred feelings of anger? (Please don’t take this as implicit criticism in any way; I’m looking for your insights about this.)

Toys are enhancers. We usually have some out. Favorite? Hitachi Magic Wand Mini. Great for solo play and even better for partner play.

Even though 100% of experiences cannot be satisfying, my wife much prefers actual humans over toys - or a combination of humans and toys - to solitary masturbation. I would imagine most women do. What did she say that had you so vexed?

Tried this over the weekend and it did not go well. My buddy usually opts for my GF's asshole so I told him beforehand to bust a nut before we go into DP. He says "no problem I can cum in 5 mins." Given he's fucked my GF a thousand times (exaggerating) I know he can finish in 5 mins but I've also seen him last much longer. So we're both groping my GF and she is playing back with us and I begin to go down on my GF while she blows my buddy. Then I take a step back because I don't want to get overly involved and cum so I decide to watch the show instead. So after oral my GF gets on her back and my buddy starts fucking her in missionary. He picks up the pace really thrusting hard but unable to finish. After a few minutes he says he can get finish if he switches to doggy. Puts her in doggy and immediately starts pounding her hard from behind. Now he's pounding the living shit out of her and calling her a whore, slut, cunt, and a bunch of other degrading stuff (yes, she loves this kind of talk) but still can't nut. So now my buddy says he is close but needs to go back into her mouth to finish - OK sure. As I see him pull his dick out of her it's hard but not like fully 100% rock hard if you know what I mean. So now he puts her on her back with her head hanging over the bed and starts fucking her throat. Now I'm sitting there rock hard (harder than my buddy) at this point and ready to say "fuck it" and just move forward with a DP but decide to wait it out. So he's balls deep in her throat pumping in and out and still not getting there. Back to doggy. Pounds away for who knows how long and says he's going to cum so he pulls out and starts stroking off over her face - and guess what? Still nothing! Puts his dick back in her mouth and starts facefucking her again until he FINALLY pulls his dick out of her mouth and shoots his load on her face. I didn't time how long this took but it took a looong time. My GF looks like a wreck (a sexy wreck) from fucking especially her face from the facefucking (always sexy seeing her this way) and my buddy is sweaty and looks like he just came back from a marathon. Seeing my GF that way is keeping me hard as hell but I know they are going to need some time to recover from fucking. Of course after this me and my GF were like "wtf was that? I thought you said you'd be done in 5 mins?" And he says "usually I am but I literally jerked off right before I came here because I didn't want to cum too soon." Really??? He couldn't have told us that before??? Anyways let's move forward. So now they're both recovering and we're drinking water, eating some food, watching TV, etc. and I'm now a little nervous because I've been hard for like the past hour and worried now I might finish too soon and unable to keep up with my buddy but I put it out of my mind. So after a little bit they're ready to go for round 2. My GF starts blowing us a little and I try to direct her to suck on my buddy more as I am afraid of cumming too soon because of all the anticipation. Eventually I get on bottom and slide into her pussy and my buddy tries to enter her from the backdoor but isn't staying hard and not getting in. So now as I'm fucking her he comes around for more oral. So now he's standing over me fucking my GF's mouth and as I look up all I see is his sweaty balls slapping against my GF's chin and as he facefucks her she's gagging and wetness is dripping down on my chest. A few minutes ago I was worried about cumming too soon and now I'm worried that I won't be able to keep an erection. So as my buddy is standing on the bed over me fucking her face he loses his balance and the worst part of his body imaginable almost comes crashing down on my face. It was close! At this point my erection is gone and I'm mentally out of the game. We take a step back for a bit before we continued to play again but never achieved a successful DP that night. We all agreed to a raincheck though. It sounds like a pretty horrible story but we all laughed pretty hard about it afterwards.

Those same girls won't do any DP. Cause sluts do DP. Now me, I like DP, it's amazing and I passed the Slut status threshold a long time ago.

It's not a bad idea but it would depend on the time between play. If everyone is busy and you have a chance to "sneak off" to wash it might be ok. But if you would stop the party to go and wash yourself it might imply to your playmates that you consider them to be dirty or you might convey to them that you might be dirty. My wife had an obsessive compulsion to "clean" herself, wipe the cum from her pussy, before having sex again. I convinced her to just relax and let it go. She eventually became comfortable feeling "messy".