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Just an update at 8 year past the mark. We have been into hotwifing on and off since. We broke up for 14 months in 2019 but got back together again when the pandemic hit. We/she mostly been seeing the guy from the original post over the years fairly regularly. In 2021 he got married and she hasn't seen him since. I am now 36 and she 28. We dabbled with onlyfans during the pandemic to spice our relationship up and make an extra $ We got married in 2022 and have left the scene completely. We recently started testing the waters again. Def. appreciate this community and all the interesting posts and advice we got here either by reading the forums or just through private messages!

Exactly. We started our lifestyle journey in our early twenties, and it turned out well. As a matter of fact, I recommend it because Humans are not sexually monogamous and it's good to develop serious relationships recognizing and practicing that fact. It's better than all the stories here asking "We've been married 30 years, how do we overcome [whatever] and get into swinging? "

For us, regardless of the swinging activity, it was always just extended foreplay for our lovemaking.

Not sure how active this site still is! But we stumbled on it again! Hope everyone is staying safe and good!

Earlier this week my wife said something to me after returning from a quickie with one of our play couples. As we were going to bed, she came on to me. I thought, as I always do when she does this, that she is being generous in offering herself to me. I said that we don't have to. Daniela said, "Regardless of what I've done earlier, I'm not satisfied until we screw." I was surprised and touched.

We started young (around 30) and back then we were attractive, insatiably horny and energetic. Now we're in our 50s. We try to stay in shape and watch what we eat. I take Viagra now and I get pretty tired if I'm playing past midnight. When we play with couples we usually like them mature like us bc we don't want to pale by comparison. But when we play with single males we like them 10 or so years younger - and we seem to play with a lot of single males these days.

Hey all, First I would like to thank the creators for making this website, there is a lot of interesting information on here that I have read up on. Let me start by introducing ourselves and tell you our story. I hope to receive some feedback from other members, tips and help are much appreciated. We are a couple together for almost 3 years. We are now 29 (Me) and my gf is 21. I met her when we were 18 and she is a fantastic woman both in and out. She matured next to me and we have lived together for over 2 years. We get along great and are very open with each other. Last year we started talking about swinging, she has only been with one man before and I have told her that I have been with many women (over 20). This of course opened her up in her interests in having a threesome. She is a bit jealous about having full on swinging but that is something that I am also not overly interested in. For the last year we fantasized about it. This Friday we went out and she mentioned the local swing club, she was a bit tipsy and so was I. One short time later we saw each other entering through the doors of such a place. I have been to a upscale sauna club before and it reminded me closely of that. We started making out and guys started groping her. In the end she started making out with a woman in her late 30s who was there with her husband and her lover. We took a room and started playing around. She was super open and it was something I was surprised about. She did not hesitate to go down on the guys and since I was with the girl i made out with her. It was all very sexual and really unbelievable. I ended up having briefly sex with the girl while she with the guys. They had problems with erections and finished fairly quickly. I carefully watched them and they where very nice and gentle with her, they never even went close to her without a condom. She took a liking in the woman's lover, a man in his late 20s that was virtually all muscle and a very large member. I nor she was that attracted to the older couple. We ended up taking the guy with us. It was amazing how well we got along. On the way I found out he was a PhD student and a really smart guy. We talked for a while and at home fooled around a bit, he was really attracted by my gf which not only looks great due to her age, but is also a very beautiful woman both in and out. He again was very careful and did not have any intercourse without condoms. It quickly got to be morning and we went to sleep. Him in the living room, us in the bedroom. At this point she told me how jealous she was that I did it with the girl. I explained to her that I was simply bored of just sitting there and that it did not mean anything to me. She reminded me that I promised not to do it (something I later remembered doing). I reassured her and she asked me how I felt. I told her that it was my biggest fetish/sexual dream ever and that it was amazing. Seeing her having that much fun turned me on, and I did not have any problems with it as long as we respect the boundaries of sex being sex. In order to make her feel better I sent her to him, told her to seduce him if she wants and that I will settle watching through the door. She went and they started making out. Hearing them kiss turned the hell out of me. It was great to see her that outgoing, I was pleasantly surprised. This lasted around 15 minutes or so until I heard her moaning and him moving back and forth. When I got to the couch I saw that he was inside her sans condom. I was a bit surprised and of course also worried. He was big and she made no secret of it. We have great sex too but I never saw her like that. They had sex until I passed out because I was tired. The next day he left and I was still hard most of the morning. It turned me on! We talked about condom use and explained to her the dangers. She talked about her jealousy . I explained to her that maybe it is an age thing, but she has nothing to be jealous of. Clearly it was something to do with age and her insecurities I guess. I did say I won't but in the middle of the fact I did not see it a problem. We had great sex since (on average 4 times a day since). The sensory overload we received on that day is probably gonna last us over a week. We are meeting him in 2 weeks and am looking forward to it. She is ecstatic! I am ok with it and I know what I feel for her. She is natural and told me that she couldn't believe that we could do that. This was the third guy she was with, she truly enjoyed it and I hope we can continue without hurting each other. Sorry for the long ass post, felt like sharing everything. Can you guys give me a bit of pointers or advice on what to look after? What did we do wrong? What are the dangers? At this point I feel liberated. Finally I have a partner I can do these dark things with. Sexually I do not see myself ever cheating on her, there is absolutely no point. The same I think goes for her. The freedom this has given to our relationship is incredible!

As much as the original post bothers me we have been asked by a number of new swingers about swinging with black men. It’s not only men who ask women ask and will ask for more details. I don’t always answer or will just state it’s a stereotype and not to believe everything you heard. The most upsetting questions are the ones I perceive as racist mostly by the men’s comments. Alan and I have met many couples new to sex with others always trying to steer clear of those who are doing it because the man wanted to see his wife have sex with me, I think those same men are the ones who want to watch a black man too. Embarrassing note: 10 years ago we met our first couple because Alan never saw me being wild like I bragged about as a college student. In a future search Alan found a Black couple. I am sure it was more of a porn fantasy and in now way a racist use of anyone. As with any first whether it was the first couple, first woman-woman, first i terrace meeting or first threesome there is a special excitement. None of these were firsts for me when we searched, they were firsts for us.

Opposites attract and I think black and white people are naturally attracted to one another. When a couple is open to sexual adventure outside the relationship it's normal to want to try different kinds of people and races. But this desire must be present in the woman - not just the man, and from what we've seen a good amount of women in the Lifestyle do share this desire.

I don't really get the race part of it either but it clearly is very much a real thing. Seems to be big in porn so perhaps that's what made it popularized.

Greatly agreed! Goodness for the gander grants grace for the goose, giving both gallant gestures grounds for gratitude.

I think if she had to ask him if he was okay with it then it’s implied that she clearly knew it was crossing a line.

Just my take on this….one simple rule all beginners should follow is never under any circumstances should either person ever challenge their rules in the middle of play. The rules are there to stop each other from hurting your spouse. There probably was a reason they were to only have mutual sex, it might be his justification for making work. You should only ask if you can do something other than what’s been already discussed after this round of play for the next time. In my opinion it’s rude and very disrespectful to your spouse to approach any changes in the middle of play. This is when your the most vulnerable…..It is very easy to put someone in an uncomfortable situation, where they feel like the buzzkill saying no. She definitely shouldn’t have asked him in the middle of play and especially if he was under the influence of anything……My opinion, she overstepped her boundaries and he directly got hurt. NO RULE CHANGES IN THE MIDDLE OF PLAYING

I don't like it. If you're going to be a cheater, cheat. If you're going to be a lifestyler, be open and honest.

Families and kids are not better off living in a dysfunctional household! You are not doing anyone any favours including yourself. Good luck on your future.

So your options are she can either continue to have unprotected sex with whoever she wants, damn the consequences and with no concern as to how you feel or you can leave. It sounds like she has made the decision for you...

To me the decision does not sound like a difficult one.

Sounds like non-monogamy is more important to her than your relationship. I am sure that you figured this out. Your move.

I'm sorry. Do give it some space to play out, but also evaluate your options with a clear mind. There's a one-sided sexual power dynamic here that has gone on for a long time, and these are hard to shift under even the best of circumstances, but sometimes it does happen. It's very likely that becoming monogamous is too much to ask of her, given that it was spelled out from the beginning, but condom use is a matter of basic adult responsibility and a reasonable ask. It surprises me that you asked, as it sounds like maybe you're not open to this arrangement anymore after all. It's concerning that she doesn't want to use condoms generally, but is fine with you using them.

Not only do I completely agree with this person, I have to ask the obvious question, are you now telling everyone that you are having sex that your partner goes completely bare with multiple people and could care less what she gets transmitted sexually. Personally I would pass on anyone who’s partner was that careless. she’s making you a bad risk also

^^^ Your thinking has been helpfully outsourced at no cost to you. Mrs. E isn't getting pregnant. Diseases or no diseases, I'm the only man on Earth who fills her with cum. It's not an argument. IMO, if your concern is legitimate, there isn't a lot to think about, here. She's 28, not 18 and clueless. She knows why she's off birth control. Either she owns it and plays within the rules or you're withdrawing consent and she's just cheating. The prospect of the marriage ending over this is obviously distasteful, and I understand why you're hesitant, but please fully absorb the reality that in the common law/English-speaking world, as the husband during the pregnancy, you are often presumed to be the legal father regardless of biological fact, and the right to challenge this in court may belong to the mother or the biological father, not you. You also will not likely be able to get an at-fault divorce for extramarital sex which you condoned, and I would not be surprised if this extends to contesting child support in some places, as most view support as the right of the child, not the mother. What this means is that delaying may leave you with no way out if you wait until she is pregnant to make a decision (or she makes the decision for you), and that she will not only be entitled to a no-fault divorce with a generous division of assets, but full child support for a child she knows is not yours and who is raised by another man. Some people fetishize taking cuckoldry to this level. Some people post stories like this here hoping for validation of this fetish. This is not a cuckold-specific forum and we can't fap to this. If your question is sincere, act swiftly. This could potentially become permanently life-altering with no further warning. Please at least seek professional legal advice in your jurisdiction.

I'm stunned you are accepting this. I'm stunned you are asking strangers on a forum whether you should "say something about the risk of her getting pregnant?" Stunned. Ignoring the obvious risk of getting an STD, which is a deal breaker for us, you are waiting for advice from a forum while she is risking getting pregnant. I don't know what state you live in but you could be on the hook paying to raise a child from some swinger fling! As others have said, I'd pull the plug on swinging immediately. I'm willing to bet she won't agree. When she pushes back on you stopping swinging, I'd schedule some consultations with divorce attorneys and get your ducks in a row.

You two are obviously not on the same page right now. Until you are, you both need to stop. Swinging is a team sport and one of you isn't playing with the other. Either she is unhappy about you not wanting more children (and this is her way of achieving more children) or she isn't paying attention to the mutually agreed-upon rules. Either way, you both need to talk and find out what is going on here. It could be that since she is used to not playing with a condom, she isn't connecting that to her now not taking birth control...but I doubt that is the case (maybe for men, usually never for women). Good luck and let us know what happens.

Seems rather one sided. She/you, clearly do not want more children together. That is why you have to use the condom. It seems she is not so inclined, about bringing a baby into your household. Even if she aborts the baby, it still has an effect on you. I also would suggest pulling the plug on swinging until you get this sorted out. If you want to take a break and she continues, then you have a very clear message and a cheat to deal with.

So how about an update? Are you two still swinging? How has your relationship evolved? What do you like to do these days?

Hey guys, it is so interesting to reread your replies after a few years! Wow am i seeing things in a different light now!

Hey guys, just a quick update. Thank you all for the support and tips. We went again and had a great time. She ended up playing with a few at the time and met another great guy that we ended up taking home. He was really good and she finally managed to cum without fingers, something she has never managed to do. It was an amazing time and is bringing us together. Went on BC as well which was the biggest issue. Cheers

Thank you so much for your replies. It is nice to sed the advice and all of it is really good. We believe a lot in communication, we do it a lot on our daily lives and prob. the way I wrote it all it did not particularly came across like that, but we do. That being said after the dust settled and we discussed things with one another we are just so incredibly good right now. She is a very balanced person and explained exactly why she did it and what she felt. I on the other hand had such a zen week where I felt really balanced. That said we had him again on the weekend. The way we click with him is great, and there is no jealousy from my side. He is very respectful as well and I trust him around her. She has an incredibly high sex drive, we literally had sex for 8 hours in 3 and we could not worn her out. She had some pretty wild orgasms alternating from me and him. Not for one moment did I feel jealousy. We will see how things developed. We've been for drinks at the swing club and a guy approached us asking how much for the hour, which demoralised both of us about doing it with others for a while.

Hey and thank you for your reply. I think it might be a college phase. My question is what is the problem of going through it together. What should i be careful about? As long as we have this fun together, it could in theory make our relationship stronger. Def. it is something I have to consider. regards,

Our big mistake, like I guess any other couples is we moved too fast. When we decided we were really going to do this, even though we talked about it for years, we did it within two weeks of trying to meet a couple. We had gotten emails from dozens of couples and/or guys. Many were from guys who thought they were exactly what we wanted. No, what we wanted was a couple. I have to admit we were prejudiced by looks. We wrote to some very nice people but when they sent pictures, we both agreed that none of them were going to be sexually attractive enough for us to be with. I kept on telling Mr C that I wonder what others said about us. We read emails and looked at pictures together until we made a choice thinking this couple is not for real. Younger than us and I have to admit very attractive. Though I could see us with them I was not sure how I would react to watching her with Mr C. Well they were real and once in the hotel room, we paid for, things moved fast. The thing is 1. we had nothing in common and 2. as good looking as he seemed, he wasn't as sexual as he boasted. Was there a lesson? Yes, until we make another mistake. Still learning