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Earlier this week my wife said something to me after returning from a quickie with one of our play couples. As we were going to bed, she came on to me. I thought, as I always do when she does this, that she is being generous in offering herself to me. I said that we don't have to. Daniela said, "Regardless of what I've done earlier, I'm not satisfied until we screw." I was surprised and touched.

This ^^^. Except we morphed into just drinks, not dinner. Often we'd meet a couple that we both knew right away nothing would ever happen, and if we were just doing drinks we could slip away quickly. If we did dinner, there goes an hour and a half . . .

I need to ask, as a former Swingersboard moderator, why this would be relevant to the discussion of swinging? True incite to what? What is the Also, why are we only addressing women cheating and not men? I think - and this is totally acceptable and okay - that you might have a bias here in that you are turned-on by the cheating wife scenario. Maybe a bit of cuckold or stag/vixen fantasies and this discussion is feeding into building that fantasy. And that's okay too. Just trying to get to the bottom of why the question was asked as there are existing topics on this board about cheating within swinging and if cheating brought a couple into the Lifestyle.

I the man cheated which caused her to cheat which strangely brought our relationship closer. If I hadn’t cheated first I don’t believe I could have accepted her being with other men. Ironically most of her partners are married cheaters looking for affairs.

Charles, First off...WELCOME! We're glad you're here. We're a helpful bunch here, so please feel free to ask us any questions. You'll also get gut-level honest responses if we think you're going about something in the wrong way. With that in mind, back off your wife's friend. There's a number of reasons for this. Among those; read what lustlearning and AdamGunn said. Read them again. Your wife will very likely feel a lot less concerned about you playing with a woman who isn't a friend. Then, if things don't go as she hoped, it's easy to block them out and never see them again. With her friend, that's not the case. As to you being more receptive to your wife playing than she is to you playing... My biggest piece of advice is; LET GO. It sounds very much to me that you gain a great deal of pleasure in your wife being happy and getting pleasured. That's a reward all its own. Some couples never do anything other than MFMs and find it exceptionally rewarding. Just forget about anything about this that makes your wife the slightest bit uncomfortable. She is moving on this at a slower pace than you, and that is PERFECTLY acceptable. If you let go of your hopes and aspirations for this, it will feel a lot more comfortable for both of you. From what I'm reading, I don't think it will be long before your wife will be wrapped up in a man who is giving her a great fucking, and you will be overjoyed at the sight of it all. Some people say that swinging has to be balanced; one doesn't play if the other can't. I strongly, strongly disagree with this. What matters is how happy the two of you as a couple are. It's your adventure. It's not a tit-for-tat haggling exercise. When my wife and I first got into the lifestyle ~15 years ago, she wasn't very interested in me having sex with other women. She could logically understand it, but emotionally it wasn't something she was quite ready for. We did do a couple of soft swaps, but not full swaps with other couples at first. That came later. For some years, it was largely MFMs (and one time it was two other guys, me, and my wife). It was a great time, and lots of fun. My wife thoroughly enjoyed all the sex, and really embraced it all. She also had two long term boyfriends that she had sex with for years. After a couple of years, she became more receptive to the idea of me having sex with other women. Fast forward many years, and she's perfectly comfortable with it. She doesn't derive any pleasure from it; it doesn't turn her on to watch me have sex with another woman. I get completely turned on by her having sex with other men. Soooooo damn hot! But, the same is not true for her. That's perfectly fine. Your wife may never enjoy you having sex with other women. There's nothing wrong with that. She may eventually be more comfortable with the idea. But, let it evolve on its own. Don't push it. Open doors for her, embrace her new adventures with you at her side, and share the journey. What comes it what comes.

Everyone, every couple, is on the spectrum between vanilla and lifestyle, I believe, either IRL or in their fantasies. If it is in their fantasies, then you are doing them a favor teasing it out. Interesting that the Lesbian approach was the one that made the connection. Were there any previous signs. Were the women nude? My prediction is that the next step will be same room sex between spouses. Good luck!

We've always joked that in order to be a successful swinger, you either needed to have a hot tub or a boat (both serve as icebreakers). Personally, we have a hot tub...the couple we dated (date...they've moved away so it's hard to get together any longer) had a boat so we had both ends covered...

Those same girls won't do any DP. Cause sluts do DP. Now me, I like DP, it's amazing and I passed the Slut status threshold a long time ago.