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Ah, labels! Of course, every ENM wife/husband dynamic is a little different. For example, my wife and I participated in foursomes and orgies, but there were many times when she had lovers with me just watching. And then there were times when the two men (one of them was me,) pleasured her together, an MFM. How do you label that relationship? But, when talking about a woman who has sex with her husband's knowledge and consent, I'd suggest there are two basic definitions. 1) If the wife and/or her lover humiliates, insults or otherwise degrades him (either verbally or physically,) he's a cuckold. 2) If it remains a loving relationship with no belittling of the husband, it's a stag/vixen relationship. Yes, there are many, many variations to this, but I think the 'definitions' work in a general way.

When we meet new couples/singles for the first time we always say "no sex on the first meet" and that helps alleviate any pressure or expectations. But the reality is, if there is chemistry, we're game if they're game.

A few of our connections were made that way. Even if it never goes past girl play and sex with spouse, it's worth it.

The thought of my wife’s overall past does that to me, both while we're engaged in sex and in my thoughts in general. The numerous men and women (only a few of whom I've met) that she has pleased and who have pleased her. The question of how to her the feeling of me compares to them and whether she felt the same to other men as she does to me.

Interesting. For me, what fires my desire to have sex with my husband after he's had sex with another woman is my jealousy, which has never gone away. Unfortunately, he is usually not physically able to immediately go again. Taking him in my mouth, however, is satisfying. I may be satisfied, I may be spent, but when he wants me right after another man has taken me, just as I am, sloppy and sweaty, it turns me on tremendously.

Everyone, every couple, is on the spectrum between vanilla and lifestyle, I believe, either IRL or in their fantasies. If it is in their fantasies, then you are doing them a favor teasing it out. Interesting that the Lesbian approach was the one that made the connection. Were there any previous signs. Were the women nude? My prediction is that the next step will be same room sex between spouses. Good luck!

For us, regardless of the swinging activity, it was always just extended foreplay for our lovemaking.

Yet more… heard from a single — allegedly — male whose profile is woefully lacking any meaningful content, has no pictures, and says he likes “daytime meetings during the week.” We’re pretty sure this one is a no-go! ;-D

We met this couple and we all agreed to play. They were very nice personally and we had a great playtime.

We also feel this way. Last "dance" is for us

No matter what the party/playtime might have been we were always 90% into reclaiming sex….mostly a quickly….maybe some oral stimulation….and a rigorous stimulated round with each other. a few times when exhaustion was too much some dosing and then that early am round. We were teased often for waking up others at 2,3,4 am with our activity. Even later, as we got older it was still our mutual desire to finish the night with each other. Our friends still tease us to this day….we wear that badge with honor. (FYI…..We are both 65….we love showing off to the younger crowd lol)

Oh how hot! Send some boob pics back. return the favor. See his reaction, ask for another, and trade. That will open the convo for later in person.

I'm going to follow this up just in case anyone feels like they got left hanging. We did eventually get together with my friend and his wife. They are vanilla, but my wife says there has always been flirtation and chemistry, so when we got together my wife and I were committed to testing the waters with them. As is always advised, my wife took the lead. She dressed sexy and made sure there was a lot of subtle touching between her and my friend's wife. Long story short, the two ladies did make out with each other much to the delight of both husbands (and the ladies too), but nothing more... until next time!

Thank you. Yeah, anal and particularly DP were a big part of what Red and David did to "use" Shan in front of Joe. Interesting, before playing with us, Joe and Shannon never had anal together, and Joe never did it at all. Shannon had anal and DPs before she met Joe, but never discussed it with him. It added more excitement when they did. First time, Joe went in Lora's bum while Red was in Shan's. Hell yeah to both! The one right after the other. I enjoy the other goings-on as well (e.g., Red fucking Shan; Clair and Joe) and mixing in.

I always enjoyed 'reclaiming' sex. The thoughts that another guy had been there, done that excited me, made me harder. As a result, my wife always enjoyed it a little bit more.

Is the desire to sexually be with a black person racist? It's not racist to prefer that your partners be blond, or have facial hair, or large (or small) breasts, or . . . (fill in your own blank here.) So, if the only reason you want to have inter-racial sex is because you think it might be fun, I don't think that makes you bad - or a racist.

I used to feel that we wouldn't play with someone if they were cheating on their spouse. That was 20 years ago and another wife. Today, my thoughts about that have changed, and my wife feels the same way. We are not going to police anyone else's relationship, and we are not going to fault someone for looking for sex outside their marriage is their sexual needs are not being met within the marriage. When two people become monogamous they are making a pact to each other that they will meet all their partner's sexual needs (within reason) because they have agreed to not fuck anyone else. No one person should be able to unilaterally decide sexual frequency, activities, etc. But that happens often in long term relationships and may relationships move toward being more companionship than romantic. I think that this is where a couple needs to be honest with each other and if one partner is unwilling to meet their partner's sexual needs, they should allow them to seek satisfaction outside the marriage. But that doesn't often happen, if at all, and that's a diffrent post. And sometimes, when a relationship is good other than the sex, getting some elsewhere keeps them from going crazy and being resentful of their partner and keeps them together (which is why maybe they should be openly allowed to seek sex elsewhere. Again, another post.) Currently we are playing with an old friend of mine that is married and he and his wife are open. In fact I met them in the Lifestyle 20 years ago this year and my ex-wife and I played with them often. These days they are still married and still open, but he gets off on her playing by herself and loves to hear about her playtime with others (he's a bit of a cuck), and she has had a regular fuckbuddy for several years. She however does not like to hear about his extracurricular activities, so she is open with him, but prefers a DADT relationship regarding his adventures. The problem with playing with cheating men or women, or people with DADT situations, is that they are married and have responsibilities to their family, which means their playtime will be severely limited and may not always match with when you're available. For instance, our fuckbuddy is only available during the day when his wife is at work. Daytime is also our "money hours". My wife and I are self-employed, but when you're self-employed you wake up every morning unemployed. So we can make time for him, but it does take away from money making activities. He's salaried and works remotely, so he is making money while we are fucking. We aren't. We also watch a grandkid several days a week to help our daughter save money on daycare. So all this creates scheduling issues. They may also not be able to make a playdate if something comes up with their spouse and you'll get stood up. Throughout the decades that I've been in and out of the Lifestyle I've found this to without exception to be the case. You are going to be stood up, and stood up often by cheating spouses and people with DADT situations. If you're okay with that, then I say: Game On.

Always love hearing about whenever Joe and Shannon meet with your family. What I would like to know is, Did Lora or Shannon ever get DP from both of the guys and do you enjoy being fucked by Joe or getting cleaned up by Shannon?

The way this is going, the debts may never be settled.

My thought is nudists are not necessary swingers. But sending a nude picture in return is certainly ok, a small reciprocation in the right direction.