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Looks like an asshole joined and started this thread, jerked off and never came back. Bye Bye Bye.

I think it is dehumanizing, as if they are reduced to a big cock. We enjoy meeting and playing with people of all backgrounds, but not for stereotypical reasons.

Marriage. Seriously, there's so many different ways in which people conduct their marital relationships there's just no easy way to put any given relationship into a box. Ok, so most marriages don't include the wife of the couple having sex with a number of other men out side the marriage (and the marriage remaining stable). But, it still applies. There's no easy definition.

Not a neighbor. They live about an hr away, but yes we think she's very sexy! No nudity not even tit but hoping to take it to that level next time around. That's the way I feel, and I think the other husband feels the same at least for now.

I don't get the race play thing, either. To me sex is sex, it doesn't matter what color someone's skin is. This doesn't discount attraction as people are attracted to who they are attracted to, and there is no accounting or explanation for that. I've always been amazed at who my partners have been attracted to, whether it's past lovers, spouses, current people they like fucking, whatever, because they don't "look" like me. We have a daughter who has dated White, Hispanic, and Asian men, but prefers Black men and is married to one. She is just more attracted to Black men than to others. And I get it, I'm more attracted to curvier women, redheads, and Hispanic women. Those women will turn my head for a second look more than others will. I have no idea why, either. It just is. But as you mentioned, the idea that one race is always "bigger" or "better" at fucking than another is just plain silly. I think the BBC thing plays into the taboo our society has built around Black men, and as you mentioned, many Black men use it to their advantage to get laid. But I've also read articles about this subject and many black men feel the strain of having to live-up to this image of the well-hung animalistic sex machine, when in fact they are just normal men like every other guy out there. One such article that sticks out in my head is this one: https://www.playboy.com/read/is-your-dildo-racist

Oh, by no means did I mean to "school" anyone. I wrote that while having a dozen other things going on around me so my words were not well thought-out. A few hours later I went back and re-read what I had written and thought "Oooh... That wash harsh", but it was too late to edit my post. I think "hotwife" can be many things to many people. The classic definition is a wife "who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who himself doesn't have affairs." But many husbands of hotwifes also have sex with other women besides their wife and he may still call his wife a "hotwife". I think it's really just a term to describe one type of non-monogamous activity. My personal view is that a woman doesn't have to be, nor are many, just a hotwife. I feel that hotwifing is one activity that couples engage in, along with hothusbanding, partner swapping, threesomes, cuckolding, gang bangs, etc. I think couples have many fantasies and interests and many move within all the different activities in open relationships as they explore. Most couples I know that have been in The Lifestyle a while do engage in many of the varied non-monogamous activities and don't stick in just one category. They may swap with another couple one week, she or he may go out on a date alone the next (hotwife or hothusband), they may have a threesome the next week, they may do some cuckold play the next. Wittol is just one of those terms that is very specific and I think gets confused and lumped-in with cuckolding, which is different in that a wittol doesn't care if his wife is fucking around. I think many companionship marriages are that way, where everything about the relationship is perfect, but they just don't have sex anymore, so the allow, or tolerate their partner getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Cucks get off on their wife's infidelities and the humiliation. In hotwifing the husband loves his wife's extramarital activities and encourages them, but there is no humiliation aspect to it. I haven't found a term for a female wittol, though, just a cuckquean. This should probably be a thread all it's own not attached to this topic.

I never understood this myself. There is a believe that a certain race bring larger equipment to the game. This isn't real but something many believe. I had a buddy at a prior job who told me many times how easy it was to sleep with married women because the husband wanted to see her with a black man. He didn't care because he was getting laid 4-5 times a week with little effort and no strings. He had many regulars who would text him just so he would go over and rock the woman's world. One final note...I saw him in the shower many times (nature of the job) and I repeat my prior statement that it is a false believe.

I'd bet the other couple's sex life just caught fire 🔥🔥 It's probably good that things didn't progress far. It gives them some time to talk and figure things out a bit. Keep us posted! I think we're all curious!

😆Yeah BS meter pegging 9.5 on that one, NC_Seniors! Have patience; there are very good single males out there in the lifestyle. You might need to a bit of filtering and sifting, but I'm sure you'll find a good one and your wife will be very, very happy :)

Yet more… heard from a single — allegedly — male whose profile is woefully lacking any meaningful content, has no pictures, and says he likes “daytime meetings during the week.” We’re pretty sure this one is a no-go! ;-D

We met this couple and we all agreed to play. They were very nice personally and we had a great playtime.

Ah, labels! Of course, every ENM wife/husband dynamic is a little different. For example, my wife and I participated in foursomes and orgies, but there were many times when she had lovers with me just watching. And then there were times when the two men (one of them was me,) pleasured her together, an MFM. How do you label that relationship? But, when talking about a woman who has sex with her husband's knowledge and consent, I'd suggest there are two basic definitions. 1) If the wife and/or her lover humiliates, insults or otherwise degrades him (either verbally or physically,) he's a cuckold. 2) If it remains a loving relationship with no belittling of the husband, it's a stag/vixen relationship. Yes, there are many, many variations to this, but I think the 'definitions' work in a general way.

A few of our connections were made that way. Even if it never goes past girl play and sex with spouse, it's worth it.

No matter what the party/playtime might have been we were always 90% into reclaiming sex….mostly a quickly….maybe some oral stimulation….and a rigorous stimulated round with each other. a few times when exhaustion was too much some dosing and then that early am round. We were teased often for waking up others at 2,3,4 am with our activity. Even later, as we got older it was still our mutual desire to finish the night with each other. Our friends still tease us to this day….we wear that badge with honor. (FYI…..We are both 65….we love showing off to the younger crowd lol)

Throughout my 20 years in The Lifestyle I can't think of a time that we didn't play on the first date. For us it's the whole reason we are there. However, we have not played with everyone we've met for a pre-fucking "date". Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.

Great shot! I haven't done it yet, but if this were my wifes tits I would lick them clean for her!

I'm going to follow this up just in case anyone feels like they got left hanging. We did eventually get together with my friend and his wife. They are vanilla, but my wife says there has always been flirtation and chemistry, so when we got together my wife and I were committed to testing the waters with them. As is always advised, my wife took the lead. She dressed sexy and made sure there was a lot of subtle touching between her and my friend's wife. Long story short, the two ladies did make out with each other much to the delight of both husbands (and the ladies too), but nothing more... until next time!

I doubt the black men you enjoyed harbor any ill will or regrets.

My GF's fantasies and role playing largely revolve around "consensual non-consenual sex." Yes, it's a very real thing. And there are scenarios where some of the cuckolding thing certainly plays well with that type of sex.

We never went to a first meeting intending it to be a sexual encounter, but the option was always open. No words were necessary. I would look into her eyes and know if she wanted to move in that direction, and as we all know, she is in charge in those situations. That is what worked for us.

Same here. We'll meet someone online, exchange chats/emails. If we're a match, we'll try to schedule a time to meet. Scheduling is tough with work travel, babysitters, etc so if we can get on the same page with a couple we seem to match with, it's a go when we meet. We have aligned the stars before only to meet up with a couple who were the opposite of what they presented in chats/emails. I'm not talking about looks. As long as your claims about looks are close, we're good. Don't say you're 6'0 190 with 5% body fat and turn out to be 5'9 (at best) and build like the Pillsbury Doughboy. We've met up with couples that focused all their small talk during drinks and hors d'oeuvres on the supreme court and political talk. Talk about killing the mood. We spent weeks chatting while waiting for our schedules to align. Finally were able to get a night setup. A lot of money on a babysitter, drinks, food and a room only to have them kill the vibe babbling about politics. They were heavily talking about subjects that were just downers. We want to have a small meal, couple drinks and spend an hour or two having naked fun.

We told the other couple if everyone is on board, we’ll play. It’s not like we can meet them the following week, it would be several months. The men have texted for years, I feel like I know them and they are nice. We’ve had meetings fall through. We’ll see what happens. It’s never what you expect.

We have had similar offers. LS couples you only know online traveling somewhat nearby and wanting to stop by for one night only (in your case afternoon). We generally don't accept these meets as they always seem rushed and too high-pressure and, honestly, we have a circle of LS friends so we're not desperate to squeeze in a quickie. However, one setting where we do enjoy casual hookups is when on vacation - and your friends are on vacation. So the question is: Do you want to be the hookup that spices up their vacation? 🤔

We've played on first dates on a number of occasions. We both of course have to agree. The way we do so is silent though; one or the other of us will squeeze the thigh of the other to indicate they are wanting to play. The other will do one squeeze back for yes, two for no. We haven't felt the need to discuss it out beforehand now for years. We both know what the other likes (and doesn't like). Best of luck!

You must allow your wife to pursue the sex that is her fantasy and that she enjoys. Let your wife choose the man or woman who she wants to have sex with. Let her also decide when, where, and how she wants to do it, and most importantly, whether she wants you to be there or not. Make it all about her pleasure and fun and that that you will not play with another woman. Listen if she wants to talk about her experiences, but don't interrogate her if she doesn't want to talk. NEVER criticize her choices. Then enjoy the adventure that she takes you on.

Best wishes to old and new friends. We are grateful to those we met and those we only know by posts. We look forward to a peaceful year.

My thought is nudists are not necessary swingers. But sending a nude picture in return is certainly ok, a small reciprocation in the right direction.

Merry Christmas 🎄 Our advice is keep to the traditional swinging. We went too far off the track with random meetings with men that didn’t understand. I knew better.