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Welcome AusAsh! You're in the right place! There's lots of potential advice. More importantly, it's what works for you and your wife. Some general pieces of advice; One very common piece of advice is for the two of you to move at the pace of the one wanting to move the slowest. The other needs to be patient. Rushing it will kill it, and will likely cause problems if you keep at it. It sounds though like the two of you have figured a lot of things out and are ..as you say.. on the same page. Sounds good! Find a swinger dating site that works for you in your area. A common one is swinglifestyle.com. Another is sdc.com. Do some searches, see which ones return the most "possible" matches in your area (or the area you want to play) and sign up for that site. Set up your profile, make it clear what you're after. Your profile is your best advertisement; make it good. My wife and I routinely ignored profiles that had one or two lines in them. If you can't be bothered to write a good profile, you probably can't be bothered to be any good in bed. Since you're wanting an MFM, getting pictures of your wife into your profile will help a lot. Face shots aren't necessary. But, her dressed in some sexy lingerie, in provocative poses would do well to help boost responses to your profile. Important; PAY for your account on the site. You don't have to pay for a long period, but pay. Many swingers won't take someone seriously without a paid account. If you don't like it, you can let it expire. Similarly; don't pay attention to single males that don't have a paid account. It's not worth the effort. Either they're serious about the lifestyle, or they're just tourists. You don't want a tourist. You want someone who understands the lifestyle, and has made at least some kind of commitment to being in it. A tourist usually is just looking for a quick, easy fuck. You're looking for a single male (or a married male playing with permission). Of course, I presume you're not looking to find a cheater. Anyway... there are a large number of single males out there in this lifestyle who just aren't all that good. You have to spend some time weeding out the bad ones to find a few good ones. It can be done. My wife and I have done a lot of MFMs over the years, and have found some pretty good men. Two of them became long term boyfriends. So, how to find them? One easy filter mechanism is to add a line somewhere in your (well crafted) profile that says something like "When you send us a message say the word blue somewhere in your message". Or, something similarly innocuous. Why is this important? If the person who sends you a message doesn't include what you ask, you know they didn't read your profile. Delete their message, block them from sending you messages, and move on. There are single guys who just throw out messages to every single couple out there looking for single men, hoping that if they throw enough spaghetti at the wall something will stick. You really don't want a guy like that. Always meet a potential partner at a neutral location, like a decent restaurant or upscale bar. Pay attention to how he behaves towards you and towards your wife. Is he respectful to both of you? Does he ignore you and pay attention only to her? Or worse, vice versa? A single male has to understand his role in the threesome, and being disrespectful to either the husband or the wife is a deal breaker for us. Did he show up dressed like he was going on a first date or is he dressed like a schlub? Why is he in the lifestyle? Does the reason make sense? Check for warning signs that he's cheating. Sometimes you can even spot a missing ring on the ring finger. If he says his wife is happy for him to play, and you get interested in him, then insist on talking with his wife. The first meet doesn't have to be a play date. Get to know the guy a bit, see what he's like. Take the opportunity after the meet-and-greet to talk with your wife and see how she feels about him, whether she'd like to proceed. There's no race here. Find the right guy. Make sure he's one you both agree on. I could write more and more here, but this gives you some starting points. It might take some effort to find a good guy, but it's worth it. If you're anything like myself or many other married men in the lifestyle, getting to watch your wife having sex with someone she's really enjoying is an enthralling, highly charged, and wonderful experience! Hot hot hot! Something else to consider; do you play repeats? My wife and I talked about this a lot before we got into swinging. What if you and your wife find a guy she really enjoys having sex with? Do she keep having sex with him or do you move on to the next guy because you're concerned about emotions developing? As a new swinger, it may seem scary to consider the idea that your wife and her lover might develop feelings for each other. I get it, and it's a rational fear. A flip side to it though is; if your wife is having fantastic sex with this guy, do you really want to put him in the past? A big reason to be in the lifestyle is to find other great sex partners. Why get rid of the guy? The big takeaway from repeating with a guy; caution is warranted over feelings developing. You and your wife need to keep talking, both in the bedroom and out of it, over how things are going for both of you in this, how is it affecting your relationship, is she beginning to feel emotions for him? It's totally natural for feelings to begin to develop after having sex with someone a number of times. How does this feel? Is it ok, or is a step back needed? How you proceed? Keep talking. Keep talking. KEEP TALKING! Keep asking us questions! We're a helpful bunch!

I'll add on; if your profile says you're wanting single males, you're going to get BOMBARDED with messages. This is to be expected. Don't be overwhelmed by it. Expect a lot of single males to send hopeful contact messages that are little more than "Hey you're hot. Wanna fuck?" Down filter messages quickly, beyond just the included word I mentioned. Did they write more an a sentence or two? Did they appear to read and respond to your profile's contents? Did they bother to spell things correctly? That's not to be a grammar/spelling nazi. It's ...did they take the care to get it right? If the best they can do is badly formed sentences and misspelled words, they're probably not all that smart. Half of people are dumber than average It might seem a bit harsh, but when you are getting overwhelmed quickly dispense with messages on such criteria to filter out the not-worth-your-times, and get to the guys who might be worth it. Hunterdon said it, and I said it before. It really is worth it! When you find a good guy (and they really are out there!) you and your wife both will be very happy with it all. It's a wonderful, wonderful experience to share your wife in an MFM.

Very good advice. Since you're looking to develop an online/text/message situation first then a swinger site seems like the place to start. Lots of couples become jaded by the glut of shit single men online and block single males entirely. But if you employ some filter techniques as described by @bbarnsworth and use common sense and street smarts you will be able to separate the good from the bad. We've been in the LS 25 years and have had (and continue to have) many great experiences with single males. It takes work, but when you finally find compatible singles it's well worth the effort.

Among us, it's a girl thing. We women eagerly go down on each other after a guy has cum in us. That's what brought out my Lesbian side, getting my husband’s cum back after he put it in her.

The morning time pressure is part of the excitement of it. We women are almost always able to climax with or ahead of our guys because we know they have down time after ejaculation. With two men and three women, one of the guys usually has to get one of us women off before he cums, then finish in another. And if all else fails, there's the quick licking...

I Petra lived with my fiancé Red, until I called it off and moved out. But we kept seeing one another. Then I met David and we started dating and having sex, all the while I was still visiting Red to talk about it and have sex. Having two men going both made me feel guilty (I was raised strict Catholic) but it also felt right, natural. Because I spoke openly about Red (but not that we were still fucking), David quickly figured it out, and when I thought that he was going to dump me, David calmly said it's ok. At first I went back and forth between them, but eventually we ended up doing MFMs sometimes. David and I married, but nothing changed with Red. I was jealous and not interested in sharing, so the guys remained monogamous with me. I tried hard to keep them satisfied. After two years, eventually something snapped in me and I began setting up David with female friends and acquaintances of mine for sex. (In our early twenties, it was surprising how many women were eager for another woman's husband.) I was still extremely jealous, but loved it and it brought out my Lesbian side. Clair became a regular, we fell in love with her and she moved in with David and me. Clair became pregnant by David, was upset, and offered to abort but we wanted her to keep it and I decided to get pregnant too. I went pot luck with both Red and David. Having those children cemented us as a family. We also played with Lora, who brought in her boyfriend/fiancé/husband Walter to play along. Eventually, Lora and David fell in love and when Walter took a job on the other coast Lora stayed with us and divorced Walter. Lora, Clair, and I had a second round of children. We bought and moved into a very large house. Clair and Lora had two more kids. We are now a thriving family of five adults and seven children. I'm often astounded how we got here. I consider ourselves in the lifestyle, but not really swingers, although we have occasionally played and are currently involved with one other couple occasionally, just for fun sex.

For us in our poly family, where we wanted each woman to have (and have had) a child with both men, conceiving the second child was sexually limiting. That meant not only no p-in-v sex with the guy you didn't want to get pregnant with, but also no ejaculatory sex with him at all so as to save it for her who was trying to conceive with him. So some making out, oral, then go finish in her. We wanted to go through our pregnancies together, so first time it was Clair and me, then all three of us, finally Clair and Lora. (Clair has three, Lora and I, two.)

Abstractly; there's nothing wrong with a partner exhibiting exuberance and anticipation when they're about to have sex with someone else. I mean, the point of it is to have fun with others, so not being excited would be counter to that, right? If my wife weren't really all that excited about having sex with a particular guy, then it really wouldn't be worth it, would it? Specific to your situation; there's real problems here. Yes, I would put a stop to this at least for now. The two of you need to work on your relationship and figure out where you really are, how you feel, what you want out of the relationship between the two of you. There's a lot of growth needed here. Without it, continued swinging is going to kill your relationship.

That's what many people think and I think, in principle this view is correct.

Very nice, that you can enjoy a quicky so much. You seem to get along well with many constellations. But usually open people like you have certain preferences. Are there any special ones? With a man or a woman, or with both of Thema, you prefer two or three, maybe even four? If Lora or Clair don't have an orgasm, does that mean each of them fucks with one man or one man for both? Then it could happen that a woman doesn't get a chance to cum. I still don't fully understand how many of you actually are and who usually hangs out with whom, sorry 🙈 It must certainly be complicated to organize this togetherness, who has time for whom or how the desire for intimacy is divided. For me a quicky puts pressure on me and I can't relax very well If I know there is not enough time. My wife needs also some time to have an orgasm but I'm sure she sometimes would have enough desire to cum very fast if she would have the time for a quick fuck. Another important thing is that the work involves us a lot and so we are often a little exhausted or tired. If nobody is on night shift an we See each other we sometimes have a bit time for cuddling. So it's always nice, even if rare, to have some time and desire for a beautiful threesome afternoon or evening that only belongs to lust and love.

Over the many decades I’ve been sexually active I’ve had plenty of really exciting sex in a wide variety of modalities. But by far the hottest sex — in a category of its own — was purposeful procreative sex with my wives. Nothing else matched that for excitement and satisfaction. When my current wife and I were trying to get pregnant we discussed how frequently we should have sex to maximize the chances of conception. I consulted with a close friend who was a professor of large animal reproduction at a vet school. As he noted, humans are biologically just another species of large mammal. "Cover her as frequently as circumstances permit," was his advice. Even though we were both working long hours at demanding jobs we still made it a point to have sex in the morning when we woke up and when we retired for the night. The weekends were just an extended fuckfest till we got sore. The sex was just so hot.

If pregnancy is the concern, it is different.

I'm a woman on bc, but in the moment the thought of becoming pregnant excites me. For me, cum is not just a white blob, it's all those individual sperm swimming in me, competing with the sperm of other men, looking for the prize. The most sexually satisfying time of my life was when Clair became pregnant with my husband David's child and I decided to get pregnant as well. I went "pot luck" with both my husband and Red, my boyfriend, knowing that I wanted children with each. For those several months, each time was purposeful and thrilling.

I'll just say this: I have seen, on this forum and in life, men's jealousy ruin what could have been a beautiful, consensually non-monogamous, open relationship. It seems you have a wife who likes to play. That is a blessing and you are a lucky man. Good for you for keeping your mixed emotions in check. In the Lifestyle, some one has to be the one to broach the topic of swinging/open relationships so it might as well be you. Tell her you know about her fling, that it's OK, it actually turns you on, that you love her, don't want to lose her, and want to explore the swinger's lifestyle with her. It will be a much better outcome than confronting her with hurt feelings.

And if they are ever in trouble who is the first person they call? Their mother. That's what my husband allowed me to do, move in my boyfriend.

I'd bet the other couple's sex life just caught fire 🔥🔥 It's probably good that things didn't progress far. It gives them some time to talk and figure things out a bit. Keep us posted! I think we're all curious!

Not a neighbor. They live about an hr away, but yes we think she's very sexy! No nudity not even tit but hoping to take it to that level next time around. That's the way I feel, and I think the other husband feels the same at least for now.

You must allow your wife to pursue the sex that is her fantasy and that she enjoys. Let your wife choose the man or woman who she wants to have sex with. Let her also decide when, where, and how she wants to do it, and most importantly, whether she wants you to be there or not. Make it all about her pleasure and fun and that that you will not play with another woman. Listen if she wants to talk about her experiences, but don't interrogate her if she doesn't want to talk. NEVER criticize her choices. Then enjoy the adventure that she takes you on.

A woman wearing her wedding ring while playing with someone other than her husband 🥵

Good evening, everyone We have been away from the scene for a few years. The kids mainly kept us really busy, so it was difficult to live this lifestyle. Kids are older and we are both interested in this lifestyle. Wanted to bring everyone up to date andi your thoughts. After our last FWB, which lasted 6 months, we decided to take a leave..between kids and he really wasent the fit, We recently placed an ad on the locale pay site. It really did not take long to find our potential FWB.. after much talking, We met up for a coffee which went much better than anticipated, This person we can actually have a conversation with, he has similar interests. We decided a few days later to get together.. my wife had the hottest sex ever. He was rough but passionate... he included me which was nice, My questions. There is potential of another man who would like to meet us, His intentions are to treat my wife kike a Girlfriend, what this intails is he want to take my wife once a month for date.. dinner/movie/adventure days, potentially going to a cottage away in a forest, I would almost call it a companion for 24hrs. There is a potential of her spending the night with him when we are more comfortable which he really would like. My question... she has me, a local FWB and potentially, once a month with another FWB.. Has anyone had another man take their wife for dinner dates and over nights. Should I be thinking that he might be attempting to cut more than the gras and have a hidden agenda to sway her away from me. Since we starter this life style, we have developed incredible communication skills. We are open. My wife very intrigued by this proposition and is strongly think of trying it out. I did not want to pass judgment on this person and want input. Regards

Unhindered ejaculation and semen are our fetishes as well. That's one of the major reasons why we gave up open swinging for a closed group, to make and play in that wonderful mess.

The best is watching videos of my GF with other guys. That's our favorite porn. Unlike me she enjoys being recorded. The most exciting is when they film something together while I'm not there and then I get to watch it back with my GF later. Even to this day when it's a video that we haven't seen yet she still gets a little nervous and shy watching it back for the first time. I can watch her for hours on end. All our guy friends in our group agree too!

I know what you mean. During our reclamation sex, Daniela and I have talked about how it is more exciting sometimes to be the one left at home than the one out playing.

I just booked a 4 day weekend for my wife and her bf in New Orleans next month and I am every bit as excited about her trip as she is.

Thanks for the explanation. I'll let another guy put his dick in my bum, and neither my husband nor I consider it anything special or sacred. As for enjoying any particular activity, we're happy for each other if someone can do something better than we can between ourselves. That's sort of the point of being nonmonogamous.

As a young girl raised Catholic, I was taught that no sin was unforgivable. That is one small part that I retain in my beliefs. It should be taken as an opportunity for redemption and "Without forgiveness, there is no redemption." If it happened to me, I would demand a full confession of the details, all two weeks worth, and turn it into an opportunity to reintroduce ourselves.

Ok so update. We were on Aff for a few months. The wife talked to a few men. The ones that met our needs were flakes or didn't show or just lied. But we finally found a single male, lives with in 30 min from us. The wife and him talked for a few weeks, I was kept in the loop of all the conversations. We finally decided to meet and this is how it went. We got to his apparentment, he welcomed us with open arms. The wife and I sat on the couch together as he sat across on a recliner. We just chatted for a short period of time had a drink and I could see he was interested in my wife. Thank God he broke the ice. He politely asked if she felt comfortable if could sit beside her. He praised her on how he outfit. She was wearing a black skirt, black sheer top and black thigh highs. He began to caress her leg with one hand. I asked him if her legs were soft and he replied yes. We were both touching and kissing my wife on the neck, breast etc...and he kindly asked my wife if he could kiss her. She replied yes. I couldn't believe this was happening. With one hand on the back of her head he pulled her forward and they locked lips. My eyes could not unfocus from both their lips and tongs meshing together. I felt slightly taken back but was very turned on. All three of us played on the couch for a few minutes and as things got hotter i asked him to stay seated and asker her to stand. With her standing in front of him I slowly removed her skirt, it slowly fell to her feet, I then removed her panties and top. We eventually made our way to the bedroom were she dropped to her knees and began to sucked his well endowed penis. We ended up on the bed were he slicked her pussy as i was playing with her upper extremities, she was a little disappointed with the performance pussy linking. He asked if he could have sex with her and we both looked at each other and said we were comfortable . He was a gentleman and put on a condom. They began to have sex. He took her in six different position and each time she moaned and screamed. This went on for 45 minutes pounding her. I was pleased as i couldn't put on a performance as such. Once he finished up i then took my wife. It took me a few minutes to get ride of the stage frieght but eventually i was able to get fully errect and cum. We all cleaned up and sat in the living room and chatted for a few more minutes and eventually said our good night. He shook my hand and she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Today after many hot discussions with my wife we will continue to see him. Thats my eventful night.

Fantasyfun1977; welcome to the Swingers Board! This is a great resource, and we'll happily answer any of your questions. Our bonafides; my wife and I have enjoyed many threesomes, and I'm not bi either (well, maybe 0.1%). Two of the men in those threesomes developed into long term (years) boyfriends, which were quite rewarding. GoldCoCouple is absolutely correct. You will be absolutely OVERWHELMED with the number of single men who will contact you. One of the ways we have filtered that is by including something in our profile that asks a respondent to say something in the beginning of their contact with us. This is not placed at the beginning nor the end of our profile. Bury it in a third paragraph, or something similar. Example; "If you contact us, please start your email with 'I read it'". Most of your respondents will not read that far into your profile, which means they aren't really interested in your particulars, just in hooking up. It's an easy way to down-filter the number of responses to something more manageable. Something else we have done is to look for obvious reasons why the man is single, and wants to be having sex with women who are in committed relationships and not cheating. Sometimes there isn't a clear reason, but we also look for signs they are cheating. We will never play with someone who is cheating. You shouldn't want to either; such people are dishonest and not to be trusted. Any single male whom you approach should be respectful of your limits and what you want. If they start to appear to be playing games, ditch them and move on. We had one rather nice man who started getting flaky about things, and we ditched him...despite his protestations. There's way too many fish in this particular sea to put up with that. Your wife shouldn't settle for someone she finds only mildly attractive, given how many men there are to choose from. That said, being overly picky can result in overlooking someone who is a delight in bed and whom your wife thoroughly enjoys. Someone quite different can be quite enticing. Your slow approach is fine, but certainly make the man in question understand where you are, where you think you might want to be, and how fast/slow you want to do that. He should respect that. Just remember he's a human being too, and deserves respect as well. It sounds like you and your wife have discussed this many times. That's a really good process, and is quite important. The two of you need to be 100% communicative with each other, about where you are with this, how you feel, what your hopes are, etc. Do that, and this will almost certainly have a very positive impact on your marriage. My wife and I talked about doing this for many months, both in and out of bed. Every topic within it that we could think of we'd gone over many times. We finally got to a point where we felt we couldn't do anything more before trying it. You won't absolutely know how either of you will react until you start dipping your toes in the pool. Ultimately, neither of you will know whether you enjoy it until she is having sex with another man. Also consider; the first man with whom you progress down this path might end up being just so-so. My wife and I talked about this before we dipped out toes in the pool. We agreed to try it at least a few times if the early experiences were so-so. This was a good thing; the first couple of men she tried were just that; so-so. Not bad, but not great. Then she had sex with this one guy who absolutely made her toes curl. She could not get enough sex from him, and absolutely loved him being inside of her as much as possible. After that night on the way home, she said "Ok, now I'm a swinger!" and the rest is history as they say :) So, don't count out the idea of MFMs if the first, second, or even third one isn't all that great. If you find the right guy, it really is worth it. For my part, I've always enjoyed watching my wife have sex. I used to try to explain it to myself, but couldn't. I gave up trying to rationalize and just enjoy it :) There's a fair chance the same will happen with you. Also, with your wife, if she knows she has your absolute support and that you are 100% open with her about your feelings (and those feelings are in support), she will relish having sex with another man more. It will make it more enjoyable for her. It really is a shared experience, one of deep joy and satisfaction. This is uncharted territory, as it were. Nothing in our upbringing gives us instruction on how to have a non-monogamous relationship. Standard upbringing teaches us this is wrong, you must feel jealous, and it means the end of a relationship. Swinging says very much the opposite. Developing yourself for such a relationship is a process. I'll emphasize yet again that 100% open communication between you and your wife is critical. Please feel free to ask us any questions! Welcome to a whole new world!

Two things that I find strange that somewhat turn me on, although I don't seek them out - 1) Women with ponytails bouncing around, particularly out of a cap while running; 2) Women screaming in delight. Not like orgasm screaming, but a cheerleader screaming, a game show contestant... Just so primal and unusual.