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Better to have swingers become friends than friends become swingers. As you observe, the relationship becomes complex as the new person tries to figure out their fantasies, intentions, and boundaries even while maintaining the vanilla aspect of the relationship.

I don't know how to put it but bareback is just a special way to have sex with each other. For some, it is now just a fetish that you can do without. It is a Lot more. Actually the most natural and beautiful way to have sex with one another. It certainly depends on what you want from sex. If you only aim for orgasm on both sides, you certainly don't need the semen. For us, orgasm would not be enough of a goal. We are also very concerned about the mental aspect and the bond for our relationship. She likes the feel of more depth and dedication, even if he is somewhat of a stranger. And every time we have bareback sex with someone, there is this very special bond with each other through the sperm that we don't want to miss.

It's ironic to me that your "uncomfortable" moment happened with another woman. Not quite a Glenn Close encounter (ala "Fatal Attraction") butt nevertheless surprising. Usually, it seems to me, it's we single men that are singled out as not worth the risk. However, in my limited experience (using a SB "sponsor" site), I was selected bi a couple for my "bisexuality" but they wanted "proof" of my appearance first. So I met the hubby in his "man cave" (Corvette garage, with a gas pump, etc) and we got naked so the wife "could see me naked." We masturbated as hubby asked me to discuss what was on the menu should his wife agree to include me. "What would she like?" I asked. Her list of desires was quite specific and "sequential" such that if I did this and that MM, then we'd proceed further with MMF bisex. I was happy with the MM list and the MMF desires as well, IF she'd be naked and watch us MM. It turned out the wife "knew me" from work (revealed bi hubby at the end of my nude interview) and when asked if that concerned me, I replied, "not at all." It was clear to me that they wanted me to be discreet and I think "there is a code of conduct" that requires mutual discretion. When we met, it turned out that I "knew her" as well, as she asked me, "you still want to do this?" My reaction was a BIG SMILE as I said "yes! Let me get naked and give you a hug." Like many women, she was concerned with her weight and fearful that I might walk out once I knew it was her. IMHO, one's ATTITUDE and DESIRES far, FAR outweigh "physical appearance." So we did EVERYTHING hubby had said they wanted to see and do. It really was a VERY DELIGHTFUL bisexual MMF experience. She had never had her pussy licked bi another man as her hubby fucked her NOR had her hubby licked her pussy with another man's cock in her pussy. He and I gave her that experience more than just once! IT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT of the threesome to "tag team her" the way we did AND to let her experience the joy of sucking a man's cock hard again for some additional fucking. She was BEAMING with joy at the attention we paid to her. The "fly in the ointment" came when I did NOT call her at work and tell her how much fun it was to have a bisexual 3some with her and her husband (even though it had been REQUESTED and DISCUSSED that such a conversation should "NOT be mentioned at work!" Thus, it was (IMHO) her insecurity (?) that hubby told me later "she doesn't want to play again" when that was all we could all three agree we were each eager to do it ALL again and AGAIN "at least once a month." Perhaps, more experienced SB members will "shoot me down" on this opinion and I do confess, it sill confuses me "what I did wrong." The very last words I said before leaving them was how much FUN we had had and how eager I was to "do it ALL" over "again and again." She was SMILING when I left; hugged and kissed me and even commented about how much fun it was for her to share sucking hubby's cock with me AND feeling both our tongues on her pussy. Why it was "so good" at the scene (they chose a Friday afternoon) and so terrible the next Tue when hubby called me to say his wife was disappointed that I did not call her at work on Monday to say again how much fun we had? YCMTSU .....

Whether you are scrolling through a website, looking around at a houseparty, or at the welcome party for a lifestyle cruise, something has to interest/attract you enough to have that first conversation with a couple. What makes you decide to put yourself/yourselves 'out there' and open a conversation? Does it matter whether it is online or in person? Curious to know what drives others....

A side note. Mitochondrial DNA passes from a mother to all her children, but only the daughters pass it to the next generation. Experts can trace female ancestry by studying patterns of mutations in mitochondrial DNA. Some of the mutations happened millions of years ago, others more recently. Not all DNA is created equal, however: males have both mitochondrial DNA AND a Y chromosome, so they can trace both their maternal and paternal ancestry. Females, who have mitochondrial DNA but no Y chromosome, can trace only their maternal ancestry https://www.crigenetics.com/blog/can-females-trace-their-paternal-line

you actually are not far off the mark. Through unearthed sites, artifacts found, tools, artwork, lore, soil analysis, ice analysis, tree growth, early written history not necessarily written by the peoples being studied but of those that encountered them. Now we also can accurately analyze to age what we found and through DNA, “Rather than envisioning human evolution as a tree—with a single stem that splits into disconnected branches—the researchers describe ancestral human populations as intertwining stems, writes Nature News’ Jude Coleman. All humans share relatively recent common ancestry, but the story in the deeper past is more complicated than our species evolving in just a single location or in isolation” “For the new study, the researchers looked at genomic data from living humans, which included people from various groups: the Mende in Sierra Leone, the Nama in South Africa and the Amhara, Oromo and Gumuz groups in Ethiopia, according to Reuters. They also examined DNA from living Europeans and from the remains of a Neanderthal” Pair bonding, via DNA analysis proves that different human beings, tribes/clans, all Hunter gatherers that also started agricultural societies moved to but not exclusively pair bonded. Polyagamy/polyandry was practiced as in todays society and has been in and out of practice, although a minority through out most “societies” through out time, it’s in the DNA. Unlike Neanderthal which is found in our DNA so some interbreeding obviously happened but that cultural group never advanced as others that many say through interbreeding more exclusively within themselves, no pair bonding lead to their lineage dieing off. Makes some sense. But again in theory why not the same for others even though pair-bonding appeared to be practiced within the small tribes/clans there would be limitations eventually so how did it work? A mix makes the most sense. Travelers, male travelers/visitors shared/mating/breeding with, celebrations/spiritual ceremonies, the sending of young females to live/bond with another tribe/clan (some males but not normally) Women Retain DNA From Every Man They Have Sex With Don Patrick December 22, 2023 “Results of a new study by the University of Seattle and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centersuggest that women retain and carry the living DNA from every man with whom they have had sexual intercourse with. For some, that’s a lot of DNA. This startling information was discovered unintentionally whilst researchers were attempting to determine if women who had been pregnant with a son might be more predisposed to specific neurological diseases. The study took a turn when researchers began to realize the complexity of the female brain.” “Microchimerism is the presence of a small number of cells in an individual that have originated from another individual and are therefore genetically distinct.” these cells, DNA, retained in the woman was not from the father at conception. Also was still present in women who had no pregnancy, brother/twin born or unborn. Leaving the last possibility retainment within her from male/males semen. So now the interesting part…..as a result of all this (sifted down, there is a lot to all this) is that by testing for DNA lineage and comparison. By doing this if monogamy was embodied/primitive absolute within us the DNA would provide proof. “What is the difference between a paternal line and a maternal line? That is, if you were researching only your maternal line, you would be looking for information on your mother, her mother (your maternal grandmother), her mother (your maternal great-grandmother), and so on. If you were researching only your paternal line, it would be your father, his father, his father, and so forth.” Even accounting for mate loss, second or third cousin pairing, more woman born/survive than men etc. women spread their DNA (maternal) further than men. The end result is women had more children/DNA from other than their paired male mate than the males did via additional females. In the end, in the beginning, for thousands of years male and females did pair bond, choosing to rather than instinctually, and the females, with some level of regularity bred with alternative males, often outside of their family group/clan/tribe/village. It’s in the DNA. The tree of life is not a trunk, with mighty limbs with many branches and twigs. But more than several root clusters, many merging and mingling together to create a joined multi trunk tree that split in many directions with multiple intertwined limbs, branches and twigs. We are, although different in language and culture actually quite the same. The above is very simplistic there is a large amount of specifics and content I left out to keep this as short as possible…..but it is all out there.

It's also the power of nature and breeding to get the best and strongest child. Look at a female animal and a group of males attempting to breed with her. I am surprised that more women looking to get pregnant don't use a group of males. It proves to me that monogamy is a myth.

This is so interesting to me, I always wondered why more women don't realize their power in relationships and sex. I viewed women giving a man oral sex and having the power over him in her mouth and hand .

It is a sexual superpower that women have that men don't - the ability to have intercourse with multiple men uninterrupted, satisfy them while having multiple orgasms herself. It is a wise husband who appreciates that.

When we were going through our phase (mid-twenties) of me setting up my husband with single female friends and acquaintances (after he let me keep my ex-fiiancé as a boyfriend and have one crazy fb for a while), no codoms were ever requested. I think it was because as a married man, he was seen as safe.

There are posts here about couples who have a "No Kissing" rule. I've realized that I enjoy seeing kissing, as deep as they want. Any others? Kissing isn't sex, but it makes it more intense and passionate, something I like doing and seeing.

I remember a post Oral vs. Vaginal sex being intimate, I thought kissing was the most intimate. Neither of us have problems with intimacy with others yet I respect others especially in bed.

You're not gonna score with my wife if you don't kiss her first 😘

Communication matters. Dialogue matters. If the brain isn't engaged and having fun, the rest of the body won't have much fun either. Physical attraction is interesting. It's not just shape and size. It's dress, grooming, and how they carry themselves. If they are not attracted to each other, it's unlikely we'll be attracted to them. Conversely, if they make it clear that they are each other's best date and take pride in making sure they 'put their best food forward' for each other, it matters. That's one of the reasons we list our shared values on our SLS profile. We don't want to waste time, or waste their time, with mismatched priorities and expectations. As for politics, we agree with you. In todays social and civil climate, staying tolerant of others' views takes more effort than it should. If it's fun time, we don't want to waste energy trying to look past opposing views. That does not mean we have to share identical perspectives, but it does mean that we are in the same clubhouse, so to speak.

When we have searched online, we have looked for an engaging personality as identified in the text. Perhaps a double entendre, possibly just being quite clear as to what their or his desire is. Without this, we probably wouldn't go much further. Profiles with just one or two lines would not have interested us. At a house party or swing club, while I won't deny the aura of physical attraction, again we looked for personality. Were they (he) able to carry on a conversation? Were we able to identify common interests (beyond sex)?

We fully bisexual couple and love the oral and eating the spunk from another guy and love the feel of my cock as I slip into his ass and love him in me

When I first started swinging, I got read the riot act about condoms. At the same time, the hosts/organizers always averred "we aren't the condom police." Condoms were always available and encouraged. My experience agrees with the always/depends/never percentages given in the polls above. People will *say* they always use condoms, but off alone almost everyone would prefer bareback. At parties I always used condoms with couples/women I didn't know. After we knew each other better, it graduated to bareback. A few occasions I'd be invited to bareback by someone new. I just went with my gut whether I did or not. Maybe foolhardy, but never any bad outcomes. After a few months of good behavior (and recommendations from hostesses), I was invited to closed pods. Two different groups of 3-6 couples, but they'd change up which pod they frequented from time to time. First time with them, I started to put on a condom and she laughed and made a face. No problems, always a good time. Did spread my seed a little. 🙂 Ironically, condoms rarely came up in straight dating. Only a couple women requested them, and only one consistently.

Hiya all, My first gangbang happen about 6 months after our first real swing, it happen 2 weeks after my 35th b-day. I really wanted to give it a go after watching a few of them at our local club. A month before it happen I told my husband I think I am ready to take the next step into swinging and we agree to it. So we made the request on the request board at are local swingers club. Also I added I was open to anal and DP in my first gangbang. Both of us were talking about how big I wanted. I wanted something simple, nothing too big, We finger 6 was a good number to start thing off. Since it was my husband first one as well to take part, we ask guys who were experience in them as well, so to help me and my husband of the do's and don'ts of being in a gangbang. During the whole time , I thought it was gonna be a lot harder then I thought it was, to my surprise it was kinda easy and loads of fun. I went with the flow. To the people that replied here sorry for stealing your words but, I too felt there were times during that night where I thought I couldn't take any more but I keep pushing myself. After a quick shower in the club, me and my husband went home. During the car ride back home I had a mix of emotions. I felt a sense of calmness and peace. I was really proud of myself. Felt like a badass pornstar with a big smile on my face. Once we got home me and my husband went for another round just us 2. Since then we try doing a a few gangbang every year. My record is 10 guys soon after my 40th B-Day.

When I finally managed to make my GB happen (the good successful one) this is exactly what I did. It wasn't a surprise, but all the guys were guys I'd either had sex with or at least gotten to know well enough to know that I wanted to (it was about half and half). That was a much more fun and comfortable situation for all, than the time prior where it was mostly guys I'd met but not had sex with previously (too many egos showed up at that one).

Seldom more than 5 minutes each, certainly not more than 10 with my SO. I have watched and played in GB's where the girl did 25 guys. Only one lasted more than 10. Most were in the 3-5 minute range. On the other hand, I have watched a lot of one-on-one's that went for 20 or 30 minutes. That has never happened in the 4 or 5 GB's that I have personal knowledge of. If it did, the poor girl would be comatose, I think.

My wife and I have talked specifically about surprises. I'd like to surprise her with a gang bang some day. She has warmed to the idea, but with the caveat that any of the men in the GB would have to be men she's previously had sex with. That makes working up a stable of willing swing partners a longer process, but eventually I'll make it happen.

We didn't have fluffers at the gangbang that I posted about earlier. There were a number of couples there to watch but one of the rules was that they wouldn't play with the gangbang guys until after the gangbang. We didn't want their attention wandering elsewhere. After a while I found that a good rhythm was getting dp'd while doing oral on a third. The other guys just had to keep themselves entertained until it was their turn. I don't think any of them really minded but I did hear several of them tell the guys who were getting serviced that they wanted to cut in for a while. For the most part the guys were pretty cooperative with each other and it worked out.

On the other hand, what I found when trying to set one up was that (like most parties) only about 2/3 of those you invite show up. My first attempt at a GB, only one guy showed up... so not so much a gangbang. I think I had invited 4 or 5 (wanting to keep it right around that number). When I finally managed to do it later, I ended up with a few more guys that I really needed. By the third try I got it right and invited a couple of extra girls to help even things out. Fluffers are a necessity of any gangbang (that would be extra girls there to keep the guys hard and happy while they are waiting for their turn with you). I'm guessing the most any girl can really handle on her own without help is 4 (1 mouth, 2 hands, and 1 in either her pussy or her ass - but I don't see most women managing both of those and still handling the other 3). To answer the original question, how did I feel afterwards? a little sore, a little annoyed at the guy who got pissy because he had to wait his turn, but overall happy that I got to fulfill my fantasy.

Years ago, at a club, I had sex with four different guys, one after the other. I've got to say, after four, I was tired and sore but, I did have a smile on my face (that my husband teased me about the smile lasting too long).

I don't know if 5 qualifies as a gang bang, but my wife really enoyed it. All of the guys were fun and none of guys lasted so long that it became a problem. The cum from the previous guy was great lube. That is, there was no "ouch." One of my really good swinging friends told me that she did 21 once and loved it. All used condoms, she said. I wonder how she kept enough lube to keep from getting a little raw.

When I read this post to my Mrs, her first reaction (to the 12) was "ouch!". But she says she really enjoyed her first one too (as well as her 2nd)...and she only had 6 or 7. Of course, this brought up the subject of her wanting another one REALLY SOON. She also asked if you might being coming down toward Tucson... LOL

We just recently had our 3rd experience in the lifestyle. Totally unplanned, but a friend of ours is a designer, and she came over to help us with our remodel. She noticed my wife's anklet, and made a comment, and things just kinda happened. This woman is single, and part of a large friend group we have. The funny thing is, she is very reserved, often judging our other single friends for being "too loose," or making poor choices for who to date. She just always seems so prim and proper, but in the bedroom she was kinda craven - "Fuck me in the ass. Fuck me in the ass. Oh God please fuck me in the ass!" or as we were just wrapping up the afternoon, she had me cum in her panties so she could wear them home. We saw her the next day at the superbowl party, and while she wasn't indiscreet, she made a few comments that made us uncomfortable - pointing out my wife's nipples through her shirt, and whispering to me that she still had the same panties on. We realize now it was probably a mistake to fool around with her, and we're planning on having a talk with her to ensure our privacy. But that brought about a larger question for us: How do you handle swinging with friends? We're not ashamed or anything like that about our newfound interest in the lifestyle, but at the same time we don't want the world to know. Does anyone else know you are swingers? There are a few in our friend group we've had fantasies about, but it seems like that is a bad idea. Would love to hear others' experiences.