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In any situation, you can always assume the best or the worst. There are couples who find excitement dreaming of getting involved but remain afraid to pull the trigger. Others are exploring and may not be ready for a few years. You never know. We always viewed it as a day of fishing. You may make 1000 casts, and some days you don't get a nibble, other days you might land three lunkers. We learned to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

Neither do I, but there are differences to appreciate, savor. Two things for me are Lora's hair and the contrast between her dark skin and the pink between her legs.

Also keep in mind that many of these couples are poseurs and not swingers at all. We had a refreshingly easy playtime with other very comfortable in their own skin swingers who we just misaligned with several times. We got together for a very uncomplicated sexy time. So easy and comfortable! No wondering, no drama, great time. All too rare. It used to be easier for us, we think. Maybe we were younger.

Flakes. It happens. Just move on.

It is more about personality than race or looks to me. I don't like to play with women that has a lot of hangups and can be as filthy as I. Being in the rural midwest, I don't encounter many races outside of caucasians. But I really care about personality, never had a race fetish.

I won’t call it a desire, I have had an ongoing relationship with a woman of color for years. She was not an attraction because of color, more that she is a wonderful person that enjoys fun and laughs even though she knew I was married when we met. She is also a beautiful person physically, thin, small breasts and perfect butt. I don’t mention a peculiar difference, she gets white foamy when we play, something she says is just her lubrication.

I had a coworker and we both worked midnight shift, after he got off work he went to his girlfriend's house, both are vanilla. He took a shower and hopped in bed and started foreplay. When he started oral he found out she had been used and left immediately and broke up with her. Needless to say that he wasn't into sloppy seconds!

When my wife and I first considered the lifestyle 16 years ago now, we found this forum. This forum became our "professionals". Ok nobody's being paid to post here But there's a lot of people here well experienced in the lifestyle. There's lots of different approaches to it, but we all share some commonalities as well, and have lots of accumulated knowledge to share. That's why I said we're a helpful bunch We are! I've often said there's no way my wife and I would have gotten into the lifestyle without this forum. If we were local to you, we'd be happy to meet up with you. Not to play, but just to talk it all out. But, I doubt we are Does the "Aus" part mean Australia? I've been to Australia, but it's not where we live 😕 Absolutely. Here's the abridged form; you can't explain why, and no you won't feel less for your wife (rather the opposite)! Now for the longer form...I'm typing all of this (a) because when I get going I type a lot and (b) it's a bit hard to explain in such a way that might help you without getting wordy. At least, for me it is. I hope your wife reads this with you. This was something that puzzled me greatly when we got into the lifestyle. I did not anticipate how much I would enjoy my wife having sex with another man. I mean, from a sexy, kinky stand point I thought "Hey this should be fun!" Sure. But, I really didn't anticipate how I would respond. The first few times we played were first with a couple in a soft swap, and then a couple of single males. We had a good time each time, but it wasn't like it was a mind blowing experience. My wife and I had talked about this beforehand; what if it was all just so-so? We decided beforehand that just like dating, sometimes there's going to be duds and semi-duds. You move on, find someone better. We didn't think it would be fair to evaluate the lifestyle just on one or two encounters. So long as it wasn't hurting our relationship, we'd keep at it for a bit...no set amount of play dates, but we'd keep at it to give the lifestyle a fair opportunity to evaluate it. Then came the third MFM. The third MFM was with a guy who was actively serving in the military. My wife loves men in uniform, but it's more about character and willingness to serve than the uniform itself. I served in the military too. Physically he was very different than me. A bit taller, but huskier build, and quite hirsute. I could go into more details about that entire date, but really the main point here is that my wife thoroughly enjoyed having sex with him. She responded to him in a way that she hadn't responded to the first couple of MFMs. The sounds she was making were absolutely delightful, the way she was moving for him and with him were intensely erotic, and the sex was just toe curling for her. She just couldn't get enough sex with him. Even now, more than 15 years on, it still turns me on thinking about how she enjoyed that night. She loved every moment of it, and was totally into him. When the evening finally ended, and we got into the car she turned to me with a huge grin on her face and said "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!". She was hooked! Thing was, so was I! She had so much fun that it was enthralling for me to see her have such a great time having sex with him. I loved it, absolutely loved it! I could have watched them for hours. Coming away from that, it set my brain to trying to figure out WHY I loved it so much. I mean, we're raised being told how bad cheating is, and you must be monogamous, never cheating on someone, and for guys we're often told how even just looking at any other woman with your girlfriend or wife catching you is a doghouse death sentence, and for a woman to want sex so much makes her a dirty, filthy whore. If she does cheat, you're supposed to get angry, feel betrayed, think she's tainted, want to break up with her and find a faithful woman! How DARE she! The social programming is hard core. Except of course...this isn't cheating. Already the social programming is turned on its head. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I loved it so much, why seeing her so enthralled having her arms and legs wrapped around another man was so enthralling to me. I couldn't explain it. To this day, I STILL can't explain it. There's a lot of things that contribute, I'm sure. It's an act of enormous love for your partner to share her with another man. Wanting her to be so happy, so fulfilled...it's fulfilling to you too. There's psychology behind that; doing an act of kindness for someone makes you feel better too. With the woman you love, helping her fulfill her sexual desires in this way is intensely freeing, intensely loving. So, there's a bit of "I helped her to achieve this, and wow is it awesome!" There's an aspect of it that is intense, raw sexual delight channeled through her, that you get to watch. It's like the best porn movie ever, with your wife as the star. Wrap that up with how much you love her and she loves you and...wow! There's an aspect of a mutually shared experience, something that society doesn't condone. You're being highly naughty, yet it feels so awesome. There's an aspect of her being such a sexual creature, knowing how much she enjoys it. If she didn't enjoy it, it would just be...meh. The more she enjoys it the more I love it! There's many things that fold into it. I tried to sort this all out and come up with 'the answer', except there isn't one. I finally accepted that it was something I'd never fully explain to myself. I immensely enjoy my wife having sex with other men when she is really enjoying the experience. I just don't try to explain it anymore. I just accept it. Not once...not a single time or moment...did I ever feel anything negative towards my wife for wanting to do this and enjoying it. My love for her has only intensified. Many couples on this forum on getting into the lifestyle have reported how having sex with others lit their own sex lives absolutely on fire, even if their own sex lives were fantastic before. Nobody should get into swinging to 'fix' anything (it'll make things worse, not better). But for couples with a good basis for getting into swinging, it usually sets things on fire. The feeling here of taking such delight in a spouse having sex with someone else has a word; "compersion". Here's an article that goes into some depth about it: https://psychcentral.com/relationships/compersion#tips Quick definition of compersion; the opposite of jealousy. It's important to note that while love, trust, communication, and a deep relationship are critically important factors in any couple wanting to get into the lifestyle, having feelings of compersion for your partner enjoying others is NOT a requirement. Some couples always play separate rooms, wanting the freedom to play for their partner but not really deriving any benefit from them doing so. Some couples (like my wife and I) there's one partner that really enjoys the other having sex with others, but the other partner isn't particularly responsive to their partner playing. My wife is happy for me when I get to play, but it doesn't "do" anything for her. It doesn't undermine us as swingers. So, if your wife doesn't have the same reaction to the idea of you having sex with other women as you likely will (from the sounds of it) of her doing so with another man, it doesn't mean something is 'wrong' and the two of you aren't ready. Something else; there's an old saying around here; swinging is a magnifying glass. It magnifies what it finds. If it finds love, it magnifies it. If it finds trust, it magnifies it. If it finds a solid relationship, it magnifies it. It seems counter intuitive that these things should be magnified by having sex with others. But, it's generally true. The reverse also is true. If it finds trust issues, it will make those worse. If there's deeply buried animosity undermining the love, it will magnify that. This isn't to worry you; just to help you be realists. If your relationship is on good, solid ground there's nothing really to fear so long as your communication stays wide open, and non-judgmental.

The couple has a right to have sex with whomever they want and even make porn. No one is trying to put them in jail for it. Their employer has a right to decide they don't want open pornographers working for them. Free speech means the government does not put you in jail. It does not mean you are free from the consequences of your actions.

Anyone have any thoughts on this scenario? 1. We contact a profile on SLS or a profile contacts us 2. Their profile shows a geographic location near us 3. Each profile says they like the other profile’s face pics 4. Each profile says they want to meet soon 5. We suggest to them a date to meet 6. The other profile doesn’t message back … ever This is really annoying, especially since it’s happened more than once. WTF?