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When the lifestyle is done properly, the fun is both having sex with other people yourself and watching the love of your life do the same.

An update for those who are interested. Joe and Shannon visited this past weekend and got a hotel room near us. They know that we are busy with the kids and house on weekends, so they stayed there. They arrived Friday around noon, got into their room, and let us know that they were there. We sort of rotated over there for our fun. The interesting things for me were primarily psychological: On Friday, Lora and Red, their favorite couple to swap with went over. Red and Lora have really bonded over this. Saturday, was the main event that Joe was particularly looking forward to, David and Red double teaming Shan while Joe watched. I was lucky enough to be the one woman there when that was going on. It certainly wasn't love making, not even really sex, more like performance that both Shan and Joe enjoyed. David explained that Joe like it because it makes him feel as though he got the high performance model in his wife. Shannon just likes getting attention (and dick) from different men, both one at a time and together. From my perspective it was odd watching because I wasn't jealous at all, despite seeing Red, David, and Shan all having some pretty intense orgasms. I was also the one teasing Joe as he watched what his wife was doing, until he cam in me then I went over and had Shan eat her husband's cum out of me as David fucked her. Fun. We rotated through some other permutations, but nothing unusual for the people on this Board. If there's interest, I post whenever we get together with them, but the uncertainty of where this was going when it started is gone.

I hope you continue sharing. It’s nice to see functioning poly relationships, especially when they’re secure enough to add in swinging spice.

David corrected me that Joe is not insulted or humiliated by what he and Red do with Shan or say to him. He is proud of her sexuality, her past (and likes for her to tell him her extensive history), and her current activities. Joe likes acknowledgement of it by Red and David. So I stand corrected. BTW, the rest of my family doesn't see much value in my participation on this Board, but they sometimes do look at my postings for their amusement.

I agree wholeheartedly. I don't think it's gay or weird. I love my wife and I just love the enhanced feeling of her "sluttiness" when she has taken a load in her mouth or on her face (tasteful facial, not all over her forehead and stuff). I like to be a part of the whole situation so it's not uncomfortable at all for me.

Updates? It sounds fun, you are friends and can also have double dates with benefits.

We didn't target finding a second masseur per se. We both understood that while swapping with couples was likely to happen, or real target early on was MFMs, which would naturally result in massage from myself and the other man at the same time. Over the years, we've had far more MFMs than couples. That's worked great for us; I "suffer" (hardly) from compersion, and absolutely love my wife having sex with other men.

That sounds hot! My buddy asked to swap, I don't want to swap, maybe touching or a little more, but the same room is where i am comfortable. I have another couple that would love to be in the same room, I need a way to get us all together at the house.

Thanks for the refresher, I don't always recall past stories.

It was something special for both of you. She was special.

For me, the taste is fine and I like to both feel the ejaculation and taste it in my mouth. Guys like it when a woman rolls it around in her mouth and then makes a big deal of swallowing, which I do. And I like to snowball it with another woman. My preference, however, is to eat cum fresh out of a pussy. While having intercourse with a man. The real FFM experience.

Ah, yes, the old back-of-the-mouth trick. 😂I was in grad school and on my second date with my (second) wife she didn’t get out of her panties but asked if I wanted to cum in her mouth. I did! And she was very good at sucking cock. Indeed, she sucked me off a second time in the middle of the night. Beginning on our third date we did all the forms of MF sex, including anal, which she’d not done previously but was curious about. (She liked it. A lot.) And she continued to give me really good head. Several months later I was going to be having supervision on some clinical cases with an adjunct faculty member. My now hot and heavy girlfriend said "I think you should know that one time (before we were dating) I gave him a blow-job." I wasn’t sure I needed to know that, but okay… By way of further explanation she said she’d gotten into a casual sexual situation with him but didn’t want to fuck him. Kinda like our second date, I thought to myself, though I didn’t say anything. I’m doing my best to recall a conversation from 40+ years ago; this is how I best recall it. "When I’m not prepared to fuck a guy I just duck him off. It’s easy. When I sense he’s getting ready to cum I just make sure the head of his cock is in the back of my mouth and I try not to let him pull back. He cums and it just goes down my throat like snot when you have a cold." That conversation kinda took some of the "special" out of my memory from our second date…😉😂

This is something that I have done before that I would bet you and Joan hasn't done. Make a play date and tell her to put on either a blue or red thong panty. Tell her you want her to wear this thong panty 2 days before the play date not changing them and not to bathe. When Joan arrives and both of you are naked put her panties over your head with the crotch over your nose and align the leg holes with your eyes, if the panties are red you are spiderman and blue you are captain America! After the first round of sex , tell her to take a bath because you want to lay down face first in her dirty bath water ! Then depending on if she has a full bush, trim her and save her pussy hair in a baggy. Take some neosporin and a razor and shave her pussy and butthole.

I would have liked to heard Joe's thoughts on his first anal experience with Lora. Anal sex is something that I found that I had to practice to be better. I had a woman in the adult industry teach me the " correct ", not my description but hers, way to have anal intercourse with a woman, and I have used it ever since.

You don't persuade in swinging. If that's what she wants to do, that's what she wants to do.

If you have to drink alcohol to be able to do something, you probably shouldn't do that something! That way lies regrets and problems. I suspect (and this is TOTAL speculation) that you would probably enjoy your wife having sex with another man, IF she really got off on it and thoroughly enjoyed herself. I also think it would in your case be a REALLY bad idea to do that right off. Take little steps. A good, active swinger club might be a good step forward, just to be tourists and play only with each other while there. That might be a good toe dipping experience. But first...really talk this out with your wife. Understand each other's fantasies, fears, loves, insecurities, etc.

As a bi woman myself, I think that FFM is a way to go. Threesomes can be overwhelming and confusing in a good way.

Plenty happened between Shan and me, lots of hard play that I didn't go into because the relationship psychological aspects between us girls and our spouses fascinated me more. In particular, David made me feel again the way I did when we first talked about me being in love with both him and Red, and he was fine with it, happy for me. Just as he was putting me on a plane to go enjoy a weekend of sex with another man (and his wife). It was powerful. And so did Shannon’s attitude of "here's my husband, screw him." Shan was generous by giving me most of Joe's erection time to enjoy. But as I was doing so when the three of us were together, I was licking her clit with my index and middle fingers in her vag and my ring finger in her bum hole. She likewise spent considerable time admiring my cunt and adding to the Os that Joe gave me. And I couldn't get enough of her hanging tits. Another powerful aspect of all this is what it has done for all of us at home. Our sex has never been dull, but what we've been doing with those two has made for some crazy talk and sex among us. Although no date has been set, the next plan is for Joe and Shan to visit us, stay in a nearby hotel primarily for Joe to watch Red and David team up on Shan. Joe's fantasy, but Shan's looking forward to it as well, reliving her premarital younger days. It will be Clair's turn to take care of Joe. In conclusion, the play with them is just sex. Great sex, but just play. But for us and them, within our permanent relationships it has been a much more potent force.

As was the plan, David's plan, I visited Joe and Shannon this past weekend. The play was fun, but the most memorable two parts were something else. First, David, in addition to having made the arrangements for me (business class, airport pickup) drove me to the airport. On the way, his enthusiasm for the trip and happiness for me made me feel so good. Hard to explain, except that it was shared excitement and love. Second, Shannon, Joe, and I played Friday night, but Saturday morning Shannon conspicuously moved things along with a nice breakfast, but no sex. But then around 10 am she said, "I have class and a few errands to do, see you around 4," and left Joe and me to enjoy alone time playing. How thoughtful! (Joe and I slept together Sunday night as well, while Shan slept in the guest room.) David picked me up at the airport on Monday as well with such loving happiness to see me that I was really touched.

My posts here discuss one or the other of two aspects of the lifestyle - the sex itself and the social/psychological. What we've started with Joe and Shannon has had more of an effect on us in our family (in a good way) in the latter realm than we expected. The sex is fun, the companionship with them is good, but not great, not as close as some vanilla friends. However... When we were all playing together at our place first time, the connection between Joe/Shannon and Red/Lora was obvious then from the start. But as David, Clair and I watched it made the three of us feel ever much closer. It was a chemical reaction. In those moments some old bonds were broken and new ones formed in their place, at least temporarily. After the weekend that Red and Lora visited them too, I could sense that things had changed in our poly family. Perhaps not changed so much as something extra was added, not only with the loving and intense sex in our family, but also in our everyday interactions. As Red and Lora described it, it wasn’t about the sex itself that they had with Joe and Shan, but the shared freedom they experienced, and knowing one another as they hadn’t before. There is new excitement among us in the family.

Expanding the thought, it satisfies my bisexual nature in a different way to take a penis, which has just ejaculated in a vagina and dripping of cum and her juices, into my mouth. If he finished in her mouth, I enjoy kissing her and snowballing. In her bum, forget it.

The better thing is to never stop being lovers, and we here know (ironically) the best way to do that is for both spouses to have at least one other sex partner.

Swinging is especially important after you have kids and are older. It will keep you interested in one another and in life in general. I couldn't imagine my wife being as happy as she is without the opportunity to get some elsewhere. Think of the things you haven't done and wanted to. Don't let life pass you by.

I have no idea where this idea would come from. I have scars from breast enhancement, caesarean section and other surgeries. My SO has had multiple shoulder surgeries (two on each), two knee surgeries, and a variety of injury scars on his back, arms, etc (e.g. scars from fights, knife wounds, etc). No one has ever said anything about them. I honestly would be floored if someone would be turned off by scars. Maybe, just maybe, a younger couple (in their 20's for example) who hasn't lived may be surprised by scars but even that seems far fetched. Be proud, be confident. I've never had anyone complain about my caesarean scar while I rode them. 😀

Honestly I believe you should. I understand your fears and self confidence issues after a double masectomy but honestly at least for me attraction especially in the life style has very little to do with the physical but more for the erotic nature of having that sexual fun with someone along with your spouse and enjoying the experience as a group it’s even better if you are all friends. That’s not to say you aren’t beautiful or sexy but scars are meant to show we are stronger then the thing that tried to kill us. That alone is sexy enough. So go and enjoy yourself with your spouse and have fun. Those who can’t look past your scars the signs of your triumph aren’t worth the time and energy. Keep it positive and move forward and have fun

Yes, I would and yes, I have. We will be married 50 years coming next month. The first time it happened many years ago, she had just finished a young man at a swinger's party, who had shot a big load of cum in her mouth and it was supper thick, and she was having trouble swallowing it. She was on her way to get a drink of water to flush it down when I grabbed her and gave her a big old wet kiss not knowing her distress. I noticed the taste quickly. I pulled back and saw her struggling weather to say anything. I smiled and asked if mine was that salty?" She grinned and said, "Sometimes. But I can't remember it ever being this thick." She coughed deep. Frowned and said, "I need a drink of water quick to wash it down or I'm going to throw up. It's gagging me." I quickly handed her my bottle of beer and saved the day.

She used to work for a guy as his personal assistant his office was in his house. I stopped by one afternoon to bring Tits her lunch she forgot. As I walked by window in kitchen and I saw them at table they were naked and fucking. Him in chair her on his lap that is when I saw Richards huge fat cock! He was very over wieght she was facing him and her huge tits in this face him sucking her 1” nipples when she stood up to turn around I saw his cock was at least 9 inches long and the size of small v8 can. I could not help myself I took out my cock and jacked off. We talked about what I saw later that night and she said she fucks him once a week.

I think you know the answer. But, if you don't... She has been lying to you for a long, long time. In fact, it appears she's been lying to you from the beginning. She's been stabbing you in the back, and hard, all along. Maybe she does love you. So what? 30 years from now, are you going to be happy with the idea you stayed with a woman who is a chronic liar just because she is great in bed, makes dinner for you, and cleans for you? From my chair, this woman has absolutely no respect for you at all. You are a doormat, and a willing one at that...and all the more reason why she would disrespect you. Your marriage is on the rocks. It's not just slipping near a rocky shore, with only a minor course correction needed. Your marriage is _hard_ on the rocks. Swinging is based in honesty, openness, trust, communication, and love. You might have the latter of those, but none of the others. Swinging isn't something you do to fix your marriage. I guarantee you that introducing swinging into this marriage will do nothing but cause more harm. As is said here many times, swinging magnifies what it finds. In your case, what it will find is a deeply troubled marriage that needs serious help. This will only be magnified, and the problems will be worse. This idea that you can't look at her laptop or phone is just childish. Absolutely childish. No spouse should ever feel they are in a position where if they look at their spouse's phone, they are going to be in trouble. My wife has access to everything, as I do with her. It's an afterthought. It wasn't some moment where we agreed to do that. It was just normal. I rarely look at my wife's phone. Sometimes I do because I hear something come in and she's distracted, or occupied. So, I'm doing it to help her. Same goes for her. There's no distrust. Everything is 100% open. We share each other's deepest thoughts, and are deeply intertwined in each other. You have a "us vs. them" marriage, with clearly divided camps. Your marriage is failing. Swinging won't fix it. Get help. I'm not saying this to insult you in any respect. I'm saying it to help you. Your marriage needs help. Get it.

And would you go down on your wife or any woman after you or another guy has cum in her vagina? I expect a guy to do it if I want/need it and it's his own cum. Hubby and Red will do that regularly for us women, and have on occasion done it in the moment with another guy's cum in there. Actually, one of my jealous memories is hubby going down on Lora after her ex-husband Walter came in her. Why would he do that? My husband. Turns out they were in love and shortly thereafter Lora left Walter and joined us. It still drives me crazy, but I love her.

I will always kiss my wife, regardless of where she's had her mouth. I love her and if she's just sucked another guy dry, I'll kiss her and say good girl.

And may I add: Clair, Lora and I enjoy as well kissing one another with cum in our mouth or licking a messy pussy.

as long as my mouth is empty he has no problem kissing me after I performed oral sex to another guy.

The guys in our poly family aren't bi, but after he or the other has cum in our mouth or in our pussy, either will kiss or do oral on us women. The men subscribe to the philosophy that it's not gay if a woman's involved.

I'm a bi male and will eagerly kiss my wife after I or one of our friends cums in her mouth. I personally love the taste of cum so it has never been an issue with kissing her after she has just sucked me or someone else off. It is a VERY erotic moment when our tongues first touch and I can taste his dick and/or cum in her mouth.

not bi I kiss my wife after she blows me and would if she did it to someone else love her and that would be erotic

Not bi at all, but I would kiss my wife because she is my wife and if I lick pussy and she sucks cock till they cum what the difference,she would kiss me and has done it right after I licked, she my girl and my wife because I love her and we do what we do together

Nothing hotter than kissing my wife with the taste and scent of come in her mouth. Winter is coming...snowballs!

i love younger men. fun to teach them. i love to do things to them that a young girl would never do.

F/44, M/48 We have been swinging for a year and a half. Talked about it for more then 6 months before we started.

The first time the emotions were wildly racing from the most aroused I have ever been to the most jealous to the most excited to the most guilty for being jealous because this was originally my idea back to am I going to have a heart attack I am so aroused and back and forth. No kidding, seeing her moaning, moving her ass, acting like an animal in lust was such a turn on, then I would flash what if he is bigger, better and she likes it better to I hope he bangs her brains out to how good it is going to feel to get her alone. I won't ever forget it and I get many of the same feelings the second time only less jealousy.

The first time I saw Jo with another man was during our first swinging experience over 30 years ago. We had met a couple for drinks and as we hit it off we invited them back to our place for a swim. Of course we swam in the nude! After a while Bob and Jo got out of the water and went indoors. Doreen and I followed soon after. Bob and Jo had taken the main bedroom and as Doreen and I passed by the open door on our way to the spare room we stopped to look at our spouse. They were lying on the bed kissing while Bob had his hands on Jo's ass and Jo was fondling his cock. It was a very erotic scene but not as erotic or exciting as when later that evening I watched Bob and Jo while they were fucking. She was on her back with Bob on top and I was able to get a clear view of his hard cock sliding in and out of Jo's pussy. She was obviously enjoying herself and the look on her face when she came was a huge turn on for me. All that happened a long time ago and I have never tired of seeing Jo with another man (or woman).

I got nervous about it as we all laid on our king size (me, wife, other girl, other guy). The other 2 got naked immediately, so I dropped my boxers and coaxed my wife into getting naked. They started moving as though they were about to start fucking, but they read the sign pretty quickly that I was ready to get started...after all, its getting late and I have work early in the morning. The other girl immediately went down and started pleasing my wife orally. The guy then crawled up to my wife. My wife didn't hesitate to take his cock in her mouth and started going to town. I came up on the other side and she spent the next 10 minutes getting eaten and sucking us both off. It was sooooooo hot. I loved it. I think I liked watching her take on multiple cocks more than I liked messing with the other girl. The best part was, the next day I got home at 4:30 pm, went to bed at 10:30 pm, and had gotten oral and/or had sex 3 times! That was the most we had done it in one day, probably ever since we got together 7 years ago. We got with them again on Friday and I woke up to pussy on Saturday and Sunday as well. My wife's sex drive had pretty much dwindled to nothing over the years, but this new exciting time in our life has opened her up again. I don't regret it at all, but will admit that I don't want to live this lifestyle forever. It's fun for now!!

I absolutely LOVED it! We had great sex for weeks and weeks after it because I just couldn't stop cumming when I would think about the mister with another woman. And it still does the same thing to me!

am i the only one that thinks JennaJameson is on the board when reading their posts?

Our first experience was great. We knew the other couple well, and while we'd made the decision to try swinging whether we ever hooked up with them or not, I'm glad they were our first. I was never particularly worried about any feelings of jealousy, but I couldn't have told you exactly how I'd feel 'till it happened. And I was very turned on by seeing Mr. Sweet with our friend & her hubby. I lovedf hearing her noises and knowing my honey was getting her off--'cause I know how good what he was doing to her feels. My reaction was to grab a toy and get myself off while I watched them . . So just try to go into things with an open attitude and be aware of your feelings. I hope it's a great experience for ya'll. =)

Well, my first time seeing my wife with another man was just the other night, ourfirst swinging experience. We went full swap for our first time with another couple, and it was a pretty mixed emotion for me. I was enjoying what I was getting, but looking over and seeing my wife with another man was hard at first. But, what helped me was I listened to my wife. She was moaning and sounded like she was having a good time, and I realized that it was because of me that she was having this good time. I was letting it happen, and at the end of the night, she was going home with me, so it went from jealousy to enjoyment very quickly. I guess that is the biggest part of it is to remember that at the end of the session, your man will be going home with you.

Wow great insghts for the newbie - people - great job! Both my husband and I had multiple partners before we married many 3somes, many groups. When we began dating we stopped it all. We were monogamous and for quite some time. By the time we were ready to enter back into this lifestyle we had told it all, described it all, acted it all out, and retold it all many times. We knew more about one another's sex than ourselves. We made certain that it there were NO secrets. We also did everything a couple could do without others, we had sex constantly. Then one day we were discussing a group of baseball players I had performed oral on in group, for the first time my husband made the comment seriously, "I sure would like to see that." Well by that point we had developed some good friendships with other couples who were very open about there sexual lifes and we all shared stories openly. I learned a great deal from them. We discussed our conversation with 3 of the guys one night and they said if their wives were good with it they'd love to be involved. Next thing you know I'm on my knees sucking three other men. My man was too busy masturbating the entire time. He said he had so much fun. I said the same and he was thrilled for me. Over the next several months we found more couples eventually ending with eight where as typical the men were more sexually active than the women. The wives didn't want them to go outside the marriage so much (for safety), the guys wanted more sex, the women didn't, and so on... That is how we became an exclusive six couples and eventually eight. Of the eight women I was by far the most active so I became the go to gal it was several years before we even had our first couple swap. Up till now the other women had watched some, a few had female play, some couples had swapped same room and some moved to separate rooms but my husband and I had not. So when the first same room swap took place I was a bit nervous. All this time he hadn't been with another woman and those inhibitions tried to creep in. I simply made up my mind using logic that I was being stupid, after all I had been doing my mind had to be kidding. So I laughed and got over it. When the first lady sucked him I nearly creamed. It was soooo HOT! When they went 69 I quit with my partner to watch from all angles. Then the intercourse, oh WOW! It was so fun to watch him make love to this lady and see what it was like off camera all real and close up. I now became the masturbating voyeur, it was simply fascinating. So keep it real – discuss everything, be open, honest, NO secrets, no hiding, keep yourself in control of you, prepare mentally, and love that your mate will be having a blast! So pretty much keep it unselfish and you will never have a problem. I visualized him doing her all which way before we ever got with them, the real thing was then like seeing the movie LIVE and it was amazing! I love for my husband to watch me with other men, I love to watch him with other women, and it is just as much fun in separate rooms now because the story telling gets HEATED! I like to watch sometimes just to see how a person's body moves and learn from it.

We don't do separate room, so the time thing doesn't apply to us. We don't have a cuddling rule, but we rarely cuddle others just because it isn't on our to do list. Cuddling is something you do when you feel an emotional attachment to someone. In swinging situations, we stay emotionally detached. In a couple setting, once things are done winding down, we tend to want to get rid of them asap so we can get down to being with just each other again. This may sound mean, but the sex with each other afterwards is what keeps us in this lifestyle. We have winding down talking time with them while cuddling/ fondling our own spouses, but we don't really cuddle with other partners. It isn't something we have even considered doing because we assume they want to get alone with each other asap too. In a single male situation, it's pretty much the same thing. Why spend time cuddling with someone when I can be having mind blowing sex with my hubby? (man that sounds harsh) We thank them and say good bye. Now in a single female situation, we have cuddled with them but only because they tend to spend the night in our bed. We don't mind this one bit and we adjust our positions (her in the middle or me in the middle) in the bed to whatever feels comfortable for the people present. I think that we do this naturally because we are leaning towards wanting a poly relationship with another female, so emotional attachment isn't something we avoid. Hope some of this helped.

Depends... The first several times I seen my first wife with another man was wild and wonderful. We did separate rooms and I got to look in on them when his wife and I took a break. I was so excited by what I seen that his wife enjoyed round 2 better than round 1! Negative emotions entered the picture when he came over alone and she did him with me sitting there. I’m NOT a cuckold and had no intentions of sitting on the bench but she said she could not handle two of us at one time, OK for a while but after they had played for a while, we took a break and then when I got back to the room, they were in more of a romantic play than sex. This hurt as I was excluded. My advice is to NEVER lock your spouse out of the event and always do what you are going to do as a couple. Your spouse should always be treated as number one unless they express otherwise.

You'll never know what kind of soldier you are until you're in the trenches and under fire, unfortunately. What lovefest said about a lot of shit going on in your head is true. It can and does happen. When it does, it's important to remain objective and not let your emotions overwhelm you. Emotions should be listened to, but don't let them push you around. If you normally trust your partner with your life outside of swinging, and truly believe in your heart of hearts that he would never knowingly hurt you, it's pretty safe to assume that the panic that you might be feeling, the feelings of sadness or aloneness or being left out or hurt, are the product of your own imagination playing on your insecurities. The first time I saw Mr. intuition with another woman, I was strangely unemotional about it. I was just so fascinated with watching it happen that I didn't really do a lot of thinking about it. I never once thought that he might have ulterior motive, however; we went into full-swap swinging after we had a bit of a revelation in our relationship, so we were very close to one another. Swinging only intensified those feelings of closeness for us; how could it not? I see him doing the unthinkable, the most horrible thing that could possibly happen to a standard marriage, and realize that this other woman, no matter how awesome she is in bed or how beautiful, will never take my place in his heart. And we love each other for giving each this kind of freedom. Sex is just a paper tiger for us now, there is no threat left in it at all. Hope this helps