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@Numex I tend to feel the same, and have actually given similar (albeit ignored) advice. My thinking tends to be that extramarital affairs are actually an opportunity to make a change to the relationship rather than throw it out entirely. Mind you my thinking is shaped by 25 happy years in an ENM marriage, but I feel like if your wife is having affairs then maybe it's time to think about open marriage or the other ENM options. Granted this thinking horrifies some ppl 😄

I dated a woman in college that after the second time we had sex, she got weird by saying "Hurt me, violate me." It went on to more explicit rape talk. At first I ignored it because I didn't know what to do. As she continued, I stopped dating her. I hope she found a nice, decent guy who satisfied her desires but was otherwise good to her.

I think so, and I think you are approaching it the right way by making it about her. Let her have her fun, you only play with other women later at her urging to be certain she is secure with that side of it first. You're on the adventure, let her steer the ship.

Hey, I've wrote this a bunch of times and end's up being super long, so I'm trying again hoping to be shorter lol. Wife and I together 20 years, both 40, marriage- good, sex- good, she had a more conservative upbringing, so for a long time talking about sex was an awkward/ shy subject. I've been interested in MFM and swinging for a while. Recently (over a few months) have watched Naked Attraction together, I started talking about the guys, and after a bit she felt more comfortable to do so also, and had gotten more vocal about who's sexy, who has a nice cock, big cock etc. So I started upping my dirty talk game (talking about a 2nd guy), was well received. So I tried a penis sleeve, well received, bought a nice one, well received (she calls it the delivery driver), I've mentioned seeing guys check her out at the mall and how hot it was, she liked my reaction. Recently I told her about a dream I had about us and a 2nd guy, in the moment she just said "mmmm" and made out with me, later that day she initiated sex with me 3 times🥵. The other day she was at the gym, and out of no where in conversation says she saw a dude checking her out there. I said damn that's hot, she started kissing me and rubbing me though my jeans, I asked if she could see his cock though his shorts and she said she couldn't see cause stuff was in the way but that he was attractive. I said you should of bent over to fix your shoe, and she said yeah I should of! Note she has never said any of this kind of stuff before ever! I saw a spot when we were walking and I said that looks like a good dogging spot, she said what if people saw? I said that's half the fun, she slapped my ass and kissed me giggling. Curious on your thoughts if she's relaxing to the point where the conversation can be brought up? Thanks!

You handled it well. There are to many unknowns in place to stir the pot.

Is that a rhetorical question?

My opinion is that more men are into hotwifing where the husband is an equal partner in putting his wife out there, than cuckolding, which implies the element of humiliation. So when you are discussing your fantasy with your boyfriend, propose it as a joint undertaking in selecting the other guy for you to play with, what you do with him at first [maybe just showing/playing with your tits, giving him a blowjob], whether it's a threesome. Make it fun for him, explore along the way, and if all goes right he'll let you move on to alone play without advanced notice to him. For you that would be treating him as a cuckold, while for him you're just hotwifing. Lifestyle is a cooperative adventure.

Joe and I went behind our spouses' backs to make arrangements. We noticed that David and Shannon will be in NYC during overlapping times and strongly suggested that they get together for some fun. This will be a new combination, those two alone. It already gets me excited thinking about it, fantasizing with David. Joe and I have been texting, sharing our thoughts.

What GoldCoCouple said * 1000. Even 10,000. Aww heck make it a million. I'm serious. Having totally open communication is key to successful swinging. It's something you do together. You can't do that without total communication. As GoldCoCouple said, it needs to be without judgement. Be supportive, allow her to explore her fantasies and perhaps help make them come to reality when she is ready. It doesn't sound at all like you are, but you can't talk her into it. You can open doors, let her know you are 100% onboard, but allow her to walk through that mental/emotional door.

Love, trust, communication...work on having as much as possible of all three as any of one helps grow the other two. To be successful lovers, let alone successful swingers, you need all three in abundance. Only you know that for sure, but easiest way is after the trust has been leveled up, talk to her about fantasies...hers AND yours (start with one of yours that is rather simple and take it from there). It sounds like she MIGHT be warming up, but without the trust, without the communication, you might never know. She needs to KNOW that you aren't going to judge her, aren't going to think less of her, aren't going to love her less (in fact, that you will love her more for her being able to share her deepest thoughts and secrets). Take your time, work on making your relationship as great as it can be, and remember...you have the rest of your lives to find out. Good luck and let us know how things are progressing...

The last week of August, Shannon texted David and me saying that she and Joe are visiting relatives in a nearby town and asking if we were going to be at home and free over the Labor Day weekend. Lunch, dinner maybe. I was taken aback and hesitant. David replied, “Sure, we’re free, that’ll be great.” After more back-and-forth David and I found that they would be arriving late on Friday and have a rental car, so they wanted to get together first thing Saturday. Meanwhile, I kept texting Shannon separately and had a few calls with her. In among all the social talk, we got talking about sex. Eventually, I adjusted my approach from what I proposed before, me fucking Joe or us having a threesome. Rather than asking Shannon if she wanted to make out with me, I instead asked if she would do me a favor and touch me again. I asked not if she would mind, but if Joe would object. She surprised me by saying with some enthusiasm that Joe would like her and me to do that. She quickly clarified that he would like to see us do that. OK, the question is how far would Shannon go with me? I was happy to get that far and left it open from there. Saturday Long story short, David and I met Shannon and Joe at their hotel Saturday morning and visited a few places in town around their hotel. We eventually went to their hotel for lunch, then they invited us back to their room to browse some things on the internet and talk about our plans for later. David surprisingly and suddenly looked at his phone and said that he had to go into the office to take care of things. Something he rarely had to do, at least never in the office on a weekend. But I didn’t question it. He apologized and asked if it was ok if he came back in a few hours to the hotel. OK. He said that he would call when he was leaving the office. Later I found out that it was a set up between him and Shannon. Long foreplay story short, Shannon ended up naked on her back, I was in just my t-shirt braless on all fours licking her pussy, sending her into orbit and Joe was playing with himself. While she was in an out-of-her-mind state, I asked Shannon if Joe could put it in me. She squeaked “Yes,” and I ordered him to get over here. Now I was feeling the dick I had anticipated for so long. He came pretty quickly, but I was just as quick. His ejaculation was fantastic for me. Shannon snapped out of her ecstasy when Joe and I simultaneously started our cris d'amour. Afterwards Shannon wasn’t shy about going down on my sloppy pussy to give me another O. I was also happy that both Joe and Shannon found me to their liking. After our two hours or so of fun, I had Shannon call David and asked him when he was coming back to the hotel. I thought I was being clever having Shannon call him. But David is more clever (cleverer?) and more thoughtful; he had managed to get the hotel to reserve us an adjoining room next to Joe and Shannon’s shortly after they made their reservation - just in case things moved in a direction where we needed it. He checked in on the way back and David and I went next door into our room to shower before going out again. It was a tense late afternoon and light dinner. Not that anything was wrong, but it was a sexually charged atmosphere. David quietly but clearly sent me the message that knew exactly what had happened, had expected it. He also left the door between the rooms ajar as a signal that there was an intimacy between us couples, and negative proof that he wasn’t doing anything with me, the potential was being saved for later. It was clear to me that Shannon was interested in David. And no one had to tell David that. As we left the hotel and began to walk down the block David took Shannon’s hand. I grabbed Joe’s hand. Shannon had previously told me at one point during our text and email exchanges that Joe, knowing only a small part of her past but knowing that it is still much greater than his, likes saying that she was a slut when they’re in foreplay and having sex. He stresses it and says it repeatedly and asks her for stories about her past. It disturbed her at first but it she says it’s all ok, it makes him closer and more loving than ever, even after the sex is over. When we got back to the hotel we went to our rooms and had sex. Pretty wild, but nothing that hasn’t been discussed here before. David and I expected that we would separate into the two rooms, but Joe insisted on us all staying in their room because it had two queen beds instead of one king. He wanted to see his wife having sex with another man, something he said that he had never seen before and expected only to ever see in his fantasies about Shannon’s past. But here David was, with all his pent-up energy, doing a good job on Shannon. David is much more in tune with what was going on in Joe’s mind and how to play it. He knew that what Joe thought wasn’t that Shannon is a slut, it’s that she was a slut and he is the one who was so good for her that she gave up whoring around for him. He prides himself on having an oversexed woman who he has tamed and married. Her past is a point of pride for him. She previously told me that she fucked a lot of different guys and did all these different things (MFM and FFM threesomes, anal, couples swaps) before and yet she is satisfied, happy with Joe. For Joe, it is part of her great personality, but he is so proud that she gave it up for him. David flattered him by saying that he wished that I could have been as sexually adventuresome as Shannon was, that I had only fucked one other guy when we met. David told Joe that Joe married the town slut, but now she is his. Joe really liked that. I suppose that this shouldn’t be so surprising, there are people here, mostly guys, who say that they don’t mind that their wife sluts around (with a boyfriend, at the club, at a party) because, especially because, she is going home with him tonight. The husband getting the final conquest, and all is well. In a moment of calm, nonsexual honesty I asked Joe if he was ok, if it disturbed him knowing and seeing Shannon having sex with David (or me). He seemed good, more than good – pleased, with Shannon’s past but only because it was in the past. He confirmed that talking about her past in the abstract was exciting, something he loved about her, but seeing the reality of her having sex with another guy was painful. “But that seems to be the price of admission,” he said. I was left wondering but didn’t push him on it. “It’s wonderful afterwards though,” he said. Shannon confessed that they weren’t in town to visit relatives. They contacted us and specifically came to visit our place in the world to see if we said we wanted to meet up. They had reserved the entire weekend for time with us, whatever it may be, and had a flight home on Monday afternoon. What led to this trip was Shannon “confronting” Joe about me and asking him if he would fuck if me if she could arrange it. (She already had the signal from me at our last meeting that she could.) What I didn’t know was that she and David were talking behind my back to set this up. Sunday The big day came and we took Joe and Shannon back to our house to meet the rest of our family: Red, Clair, Lora, and our multitude of children. The introductions were very smooth and cordial. The only awkward part for me was when Clair and Lora both said to Joe and Shannon how much I had said about them, but Joe and Shannon were untroubled by me having talked about them. Shannon said I hadn’t said anything about Clair, Lora, Red, or all these kids to her. They were curious about the provenance of the kids and we proudly pointed out the biological parentage of each (Lora said “I’m the mother of the brown ones.”). To say they were amazed with the whole situation would be an understatement. Especially with the huge house, guesthouse and all the children. We told them that none of it (the house, the number of children) is as impressive as it seems if you divide it up among us five adults. David has arranged with Becky and Frank to take our children for the day. We had also arranged for two of the regular young women we use as babysitters to accompany them to help out. It worked out great and we really appreciated it. Needless to say, we all played. The interesting thing for me was that the pairings that seemed to grab hold the most were Joe and Lora, and Shannon and Red. David, my husband, and I played together with Clair and laughed that the couple he had set up for me to have sex with had found other sexual interests. 😊 To Joe, it became not that Shannon just was a slut, but is one, fucking both David and now Red. David and Red now will call Shannon a whore in front of Joe, while the other is fucking her, or both are. Even when Joe is making love to Shannon, his wife. I was worried that this was going too far, but Joe smiled. Both Red and David know how to make him feel good about his wife, portraying her as a sophisticated, super sexually charged woman that he was lucky to get to be his wife. Tamed but not domesticated. After all this, I was afraid what the aftermath might be. But we met at dinner and everyone was happy. It was almost odd that we talked about everything except sex. But it also seemed so natural that it was no problem. One last thing to report: we had breakfast with Shannon and Joe at the hotel Monday (Labor Day) morning for breakfast before they had to go to the airport. Unlike our other get togethers outside the bedroom, this time we did talk about sex and it was mutually decided that David and Shannon would go back to the room for a quick one. Joe and I agreed that it was wonderful sitting here together, him fingering my pussy and reaching for my braless tits, knowing what our spouses were doing. The psychological aspects of what happened excite me as much as the sex, mostly because that’s what I keep thinking about. 1) My husband David went behind my back with another woman(!) to really move along the opportunity for us to play with them. Plus getting the adjoining hotel room and arranging babysitting. 2) Red and Shannon really hit it off, sexually and otherwise, something that I did not expect, they’re so different. Same with Joe and Lora. 3) The fact that Joe has such a fetish about Shannon being called a slut. And that David picked up on the subtle clues early on and had the right instincts on which direction and how far to push it. Joe gets so worked up having Red and David say so and hearing her tell stories about a past that he didn’t know that she had. He went from slut-fear to slut-pride in a very short time. Anyway, overall an amazing weekend.

I watched when someone pulled off 16 squirts of cum on Honey’s face, don’t know how many ounces. I usually can squeeze out 8 or 9 when I’m fresh. Bet it’s only a spoonful total. You said lecithin, I have to check that out.

Welcome to swinging. Separate is not a mistake, it was the only way for us. I was able to enjoy without worrying that my husband would be watching everything that was happening. I also didn’t have to watch what I knew was going on in the other room. We played with a couple we just met on vacation and I was free to be me. I felt wanted and desired by a man who didn’t rush me as we were going to spend the whole night together. This happened years ago and still a night I cherish. The next day we had sex in the same room and I honestly can say if the night before didn’t happen I would say swinging is horrible, don’t do it. Men act differently in front of others, the real person will show when you are alone. There are those who will say swinging is a couple experience and I understand that, for me it’s a ME thing. I have no problem letting my husband enjoy his time, I am not a voyeur nor an exhibitionist.

John & Emily, separate rooms may or may not be a mistake for you. For your first experience, the sight and sounds of your spouse as they mate with someone else can be a tremendously erotic event, to be relived over and over as you recall the loss of your monogamous 'virginity.' In addition, the wife often is a bit nervous, that her husband is so close can calm her, help her to feel more safe. On the other hand, the thought and sight of his wife with another man can often give a newbie husband ED; sometimes (but not always,) being away from her allows him to concentrate on the woman he's with and respond to her better. Also if there is jealousy on either's part, it can sometimes be better handled. Either way can be a perfect time, or it may in retrospect, be a 'mistake.'

We have arranged gangbangs on two occasions and hope to have our third in January. I very much like the attention, the sexual pleasure that many men can provide, and the slightly overwhelming feeling (in that order). I am also what you might call a 'pleaser' which is also a big part of the turn-on.

Great article. My husband and I are new to the lifestyle but our main interest has been gangbangs. Here are some specifics, based on the guidelines in this article. So far, I have had two gangbangs. We were lucky enough to find a somewhat local (within 30-45 minutes) gangbang group who set both up for me. At each event, I was the only female and there were six men involved. I have to agree with the part about there being two types of gangbangs but I need to add that there is also a hybrid gangbang which would be a blend of the two. My first gangbang had times where I was with several men at once and times where I was with them one at a time, one after the other. At my second gangbang, I received attention of at least 2 men the entire time. Both types of activity were a lot of fun for me, and honestly, I don't know which one is like best. Both have advantages and I hope to continue engaging in both. One last note. We jumped into the lifestyle with both feet and have started with gangbangs. I can not comment on using guys from MFM experiences to build a gangbang group. However, I can say that the reverse is true. We are about to play with our first single male who me met in the gangbang group. We are looking forward to playing with others from the group as well.

we as males must step it up a notch in a mfm , she is allways amazed how much cum we both deposit , I love being 2nd, a quick taste before my turn to top her up !!!!!

We love bareback and wife loves getting cleanup after.

I have never been able to lick the cum from her after anybody has cum inside of her, including me. I have often thought I wanted to , but when it came time, I just couldn't do it. However, I REALLY like the feel of the lubrication that another guy's cum makes in her pussy.

Sounded hot to me as well. Can't say I would really be into cleaning her out after another guy, but I wouldn't mine adding mine to the mix. If we were to do that type of thing that is.

Well the women that have a bush let me shave them belly button to butthole, I have learned to use Neosporin when shaving them. I have also got pussy hair from my female coworkers when they had groomed themselves and from male coworkers when they shaved their wives. The idea of the collecting pussyhair came from an old Ron Jeremy movie where Ron would shave women and make pussyhair soup.