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Lubricants are a must, it goes without saying, but….. Every woman is different for self lubricating before penetration. Level of foreplay, excitement, point of time during her cycle, health, frequency, penis size, condom/toy use, age just to point out a few. You can never have too much. Also it should be a lubricant that has been proven safe to use and works for her, for her comfort and to heighten her moment. Used with a condom it will help greatly to keep the condom on and not pulled off during active thrusting. Also allows for a more comfortable withdrawal after completion without that pulling sensation as no fluid has been left inside her. Very important when using toys, a must with larger toys and large erect penises. Just spoke with a late thirties couple new in the lifestyle, a handful of experiences over the past year. They just experienced an ER visit two weeks ago. The short story is they watched a very endowed man with a woman in an open room at a party and both found it exciting and had an interest to maybe try this. They thought it would be fun to try acting this out in roll play to see what her limits might be by trying different sized life like dildos. A trip to the store and they acquired four that appealed to her. Two Sundays back they had the house with no kids and decided to have a hot time together experimenting. For the most part, the time they had was quite pleasurable, according to both. when using the third selection, which was a bit thicker, and longer she had experienced a little bit of discomfort but with her husband using his tongue on her while applying the toy, and a gentle, thrusting motion, she experienced a rather strong orgasm, and this excited both of them very much. The last toy was over 10 inches long, and very thick in comparison to the previous three (many times this size is purchased more as a gag gift). Unfortunately, in their excited state things were rushed a bit. when he finally worked the end, just barely inside her rather than pausing she jumped audibly with discomfort and he pushed this large appendage deep with one thrust. Total fail. Her body was not ready for it at all. The toy bottomed out painfully and the lack of lubrication added to the discomfort for her. Lack of additional lubrication, lack of controlling his excited action to her caused her a great amount of pain. According to her it almost felt like something torn inside her. They then spent the next, according to them hours, trying to remove that item of discomfort from her only to discover with every attempt, it was highly uncomfortable for her, and as she described, felt like a pulling inside her. With this being a life like extra large dildo it did not “deflate“ allowing for more comfortable extraction. They did not use any lubrication. There was not a condom on the toy, which probably would’ve helped with removal if the condom was lubricated. They spent quite a lot of time, trying to get her to relax enough to remove the toy which after sometime they did successfully, but not without a lot of discomfort on her part. She was in so much discomfort and it was not settling down that they ended up making a trip to the ER. After finally being seen and having the embarrassing discussion with a young doctor, she was examined they found some tearing and bruising inside her. A bottle of AstroGlide or similar lubricant used liberally on her, in her and on the toy And much better control on her husband’s part could have made this a better experience And possibly have avoided the outcome they experienced. The same holds true if she was going to experience a larger live erect penis, which most likely would’ve been covered with a condom. So, again lots of lube, can’t use enough or too much. It can make the difference completely on wether it is an experience of a lifetime or highly regrettable. Inexperience, lack of additional lubricants and lack of control on his part caused his wife to go from a fun sexual experience/exploration to being in pain, fearful, embarrassed and in a great deal of discomfort for ten days. The wetter, the warmer…..add lubricant anyway. The slipperier the better. This should have the ease of a slip ‘n slide. Added input or experiences?

It is instinctual, but appears as practiced art. That's the beauty of it. Two people who have never done it before, engage perfectly.

Every player plays the instrument differently.

There have been times when I've heard my wife moaning with other men and thought "who is making that noise?" Just to turn around and see it's my own wife 😄

Lubricants are essential for even ordinary play among us seniors. While each person/couple will have a personal preference, some observations have stood the test of (our) time. 1. Sex is messy. Sex with lubes is extra messy. The best way to throw caution to the wind is to have a few “sex blankets” around the house (and a travel size one in the “go bag”). We really like the Liberator brand Fascinator Throws. After play, throw it in the wash. Rinse and repeat….!!!! 2. Lubes have a number of bases. Silicone based lubes. Natural oil based lubes(coconut oil for example). Water and glycerin based lubes. We have tried variants of all of them. We think water and glycerin are the best. They cause the least amount of irritation to tender vaginal tissues after play, which means a happier playmate. You will use more of it than you will of a silicone based lube. It’s a better way to go. 3. skip the flavorings and scents. Pussy should not taste like strawberries or cookies and cream or Bailey’s. Pussy should taste like pussy. The additives are going to cause someone a problem. 4. When you open the bottle, use that sharpie to put a date on it. Buy sizes that will last you a couple or three months. Then toss the old stuff and start over. 5. Keep an inventory of a couple of small bottles at home, one unopened in the “go bag”, in its own zip loc baggie. Rotate your stock. 6. If your toys are dishwasher safe, put them in the top rack. It gets the lube off. 7. If you have a Hitachi magic wand or similar non immersible toy, keep a small bottle of mild, no-additive dish detergent in the cabinet below the bathroom sink and a small stack of old clean washcloths. Water plus a little dish detergent in the sink, use the washcloth to clean the toys, then some clear water on the washcloth to get the soap off the toys. Throw the washcloths in with the sex blankets. 8. Don’t spill the lube. If you do, it’s a major headache cleaning up, especially if silicone based. Get a big enough sex blanket. If you spill there, who cares? Hope this is useful. 9. PS. Ladies, next time you are inclined to give a guy a hand job (like maybe tomorrow morning when he wakes up hard?) get the lube out and use a generous amount.

I'm not sure all that is going on here, but it makes me glad that Daniela and I have no boundaries in our play with others, except the commitment to our closed group of married couples that we only play within our group. A closed group was the trade for all of us in order to go bareback all the time. Boundaries create tension and potential conflict.