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3 pointsI was raised in a very strict rural area where sex was never discussed in my house. The fear of God was my upbringing. Everyone knew who were the “loose” girls. My sex life stopped short of losing my virginity before marriage, my husband was my first. I know that is old fashioned and after meeting a more worldly woman on our vacation we realized that our beliefs were just fear. I now the stupidity of ridiculous godly fears. Thankfully we are young enough to enjoy ourselves now for many years.
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2 pointsCan just say congratulations to you both for remaining close and trust each other so much is priceless, that to able to talk, but honesty,your ten steps ahead, tick tick tick , you both tick all the boxes of being perfect, keep being close everything else is second best 👌 👍 😍 good luck
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2 pointsHello lilinny, Welcome to the board. Please know that anything can be discussed here and that there is a wealth of knowledge available to you here. With regards to the situation you have outlined above, I am going to be very direct with you; you let it happen. If you are ever in a situation, and are uncomfortable, for any reason, leave. End of story. Before you play again, ensure that you understand each other and know your boundaries/preferences, etc. That way, when you meet a couple, you can clearly express this. The wagon travels as fast as the slowest horse; one of you (you or your spouse) will be more conservative in any given situation; that dictates the speed of how things should proceed. Watch out for couples that try to separate you or don't respect your boundaries/wishes; walk away from folks like this. People that lie on their profiles are liars; avoid them. We wish you well in this pursuit; take your time and keep your relationship as your focus.
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2 pointsWe met our second partners recently and my husband did anal to the young lady, I didn’t allow the same to me. We never discussed limits before meeting them, I just wasn’t ready for that. I did swallow a small amount most likely it was smaller because it was his third time in two hours.
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1 pointThank you all for advice, guidance and help setting up our first meeting of someone for sex. We had previously set up to attend a party that we drove hours to get to then decided not to join. Our first swing was terrific with vacationers at an adult only resort. No planning it happened in a very fun meeting. Since coming home we wondered what meeting others would be. With help we used a profile to search for a long distance meeting. We had plenty of fun looking and wondering, we also had plenty of frustration. We weren’t in a rush to meet others knowing the longer we waited the more difficult it would be for me. My husband did most of the searching and I would read the profiles he chose. We found an attractive younger non married couple. I thought too much younger and I posted my thoughts here. The advice we were given was they weren’t that much younger and age is a number. Some of you stated that you met others 20 years older. More advice, meet at a neutral site to see if we liked them stipulating no sex on first date. It worked we liked them, we felt they liked us. We set up a “date” for the next night if we could get someone to watch our kids. Next night was our first swinger meeting. It went well, even great. The best part is I know that I can swing. I can meet others for sexual pleasure without guilt. I felt this was my only opportunity, if it didn’t work out I most likely would go back to a quiet life.
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1 pointMy fantasy has always been to watch my wife get fucked by another man. We have been with another woman before which is a whole story in itself that I’ll tell you about later. One night several years ago my wife and I had gone to a club. Not your ordinary club, but a good club for swingers and singles. The night had started out rather slow and we were not finding any action that I had hoped. My wife knows what she wants and that is what we go with. And that night we found what she wanted and it was such a great experience she knew she wanted to do it again. She had gotten fucked by a black guy and she had enjoyed it. So, when we got the chance, she wanted to try it again. Being at a swinger’s club isn’t really her thing, but fucking in front of people or listening to them fuck is a big turn-on for her. Since we don’t live close to any swingers’ clubs or anything of that nature, we don’t get many opportunities to do anything like this. A couple of years ago we got a chance to go to another club. Yes, one of those clubs. We were looking for a little fun and hoping to find something as good as the last time we were out. We talked to many people as the night went on and my wife was trying to figure out what we were going to be doing to have fun that night. There was a hot blonde that was interested in us and kept on grabbing my cock which my wife was loving because this was getting her going. My wife and I decided that this was not what we had in mind for tonight, so we just kind of let that slide and we went on to pursue something else. She said she would know it when she saw it. My wife had put a couple of drinks down and was feeling pretty good now. She was a little more daring and said she wanted to go change outfits like she did when we had been to a club previously. We had brought the very same sexy outfit that was see through, so she went and changed into it. When she came back out, there was not one guy's eyes on anyone but her. Even the women were looking on in awe. She is a beautiful woman that knows how to control a room. One guy came up to me and told me he was jealous. He said he would do anything to get to fuck my wife, but she just didn’t feel right with him, I guess. As we were standing around, in came this well-built younger black guy and I think she almost came right there. The look on her face was almost mind blowing. She got this horny grin and told me she was ready to start our night. As he walked by her, she gave him this dirty smile and took her hand and rubbed down by her cunt. He stopped walking and came over to her and asked if he could help her with anything. She just smiled and said that I think you already know what you can do. They danced around a little bit, but I could tell she couldn’t take it anymore, so she quickly unzipped his pants and took out his cock and grabbed it and lead him into another room like a dog on a leash. I stayed back a couple of minutes to give them some time to get to know each other. When I did finally get to the other room, they had already undressed and she was sucking his cock. It was larger than mine. Not much longer, but thicker. I could tell she liked it. My wife had picked a room where people would be able to watch if they wanted to. I stayed back in the wings and was kind of hidden so she really didn’t know I was even there. As I watched my wife in action, I could tell she was enjoying every second of this guy’s cock. She was sucking it like there was no tomorrow. Now it was his turn to return the favor. He got his face down to her pussy and started licking like it was candy. She was turning red and I could tell she was already about to cum. She was squirming and shaking and he was getting her cunt all ready for his big shaft. But before he fucked her, he now spread her legs out and started fingering her pussy to the point that she started squirting fluids all over the sheet they were laying on. It was like the flood gates had opened up and all the juices were flowing. She finally had all she could take because I’m sure she had cum multiple times already and I could tell she just wanted to have him inside her. I heard her say to give me your big, black cock. He asked her if she wanted him to put on a condom and she told him no, she wanted to feel him inside her cunt. He took her and spread her legs wide and slowly inserted his bbc into her tight cunt. She told him to go slowly because she said it was so big that she needed to get used to it. After several minutes of the slow movement, she said she needed him to fuck her harder so he started to go full penetration into her dripping wet cunt. She was telling him how good his cock felt, and how she loved fucking him. They switched positions multiple times with her sitting on top of his cock and riding him like she has never ridden before. My wife took his whole cock inside of her as deeply as she could, rubbing back and forth and cumming time and time again. They finally switched back to missionary style and were fucking hard when I heard her say to him, she wanted him to cum in her pussy. She said she wanted to feel his cum drip out of her pussy all night long. When he heard her say that, he started to pick up the pace and finally started moaning and said he was about to cum. My wife was now cumming herself and as he shot his load inside of her, she started squirming and shaking with every pulse of his exploding cock. Her body was red from all of her orgasms, and I could tell she was getting worn out. They had gone for almost 40 minutes of nonstop action. Not to mention that all the other people that had gathered around to watch started going to other parts of the place as they had gotten a show that they would remember forever. When he pulled his now soft cock out of my wife, I could see the cum dripping down her ass. She was getting what she wanted, I guess. She would be able to feel his cum dripping out of her the rest of the night. But I didn’t realize that she was not done yet. She wanted more. My wife took his cock and started sucking on it again. I guess he was young enough that almost instantly he got hard and she took his cock and guided it into her cunt and said she needed more of his cum. He fucked her for another 10 minutes until he exploded with more cum inside my wife’s pussy again. Again, as I watched the cum drip down her ass, she was getting what she wanted. She was going to feel this the rest of the night. They both started cleaning up a little and I slowly came out of the crowd that had gathered. She saw me and gave me that dirty little smile she sometimes gets. My wife asked me if I had enjoyed her show. She said she needed to have a little more cum in her pussy tonight and she now wanted mine. Her new little friend just kind of sat back in the corner and decided to watch us. I knew I wouldn’t last long because I had almost cum multiple times just watching her. With some of the crowd still watching I got undressed, and slid my wet with pre-cum cock into my wife’s cum-loaded pussy. I fucked her until she started cumming. Her cunt convulsed so hard that it squeezed my cock and made me start to cum. I came in her pussy, mixing my cum with my wife’s new fuck buddies cum. I pulled my cock out and watched it all slowly slide down her ass. She got up and went over to our young fuck buddy and she gave him a long passionate kiss and said thank you for such a great time. He gave her one last little finger fucking and handed her a card of his if we were ever in the area again. He left after he got dressed and we got cleaned up and went out to the main room. I had multiple people including women and even the bartender say that my wife was one of the women they would like to fuck if they ever got a chance after seeing her in action. I guess I’m the lucky one here. Later that night when we were driving to our resort, she slipped her hand down pants and put her fingers in her pussy. She brought them out and rubbed them on my face. She smiled and said we gotta do this again sometime as we pulled into the parking lot to call it a night. And what a night it was.
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1 pointYou have heard excellent commentary. Yours was a learning experience. Over the decades (OMG, it has been decades…) we have adopted a fairly standard approach. 1. We prefer a phone conversation or brief video call prior to the first meeting. We want to know who we are meeting. We like video, as the camera is pretty good at telling us whether the posted photos are 20-years-ago or accurate representations of who the couple is today. 2. First meeting is in a public place, usually a light meal, always messaging “no expectations, we do not play on the first date”. 3. When we meet the couple for dinner, we are asking ourselves four questions: a. Does this couple behave like a couple? Do they have the gentle banter that signals that they are in love and on the same page? b. Is there any depth? Does the conversation get beyond sports and weather? c. How do they treat others, such as the (anonymous) waitstaff? Are they engaged and kind? d. Can we see ourselves naked in the hot tub with this couple? 4. We always find a way to excuse ourselves for a moment — perhaps to take a call. This gives the other couple a chance to check in as well. Both of us have unquestioned veto power. No excuses or explanations required. We do this midway through the meal just to get a sense of how much we want to chat with/reveal to the other couple. 5. We always end the meal on a gracious note. Later, we will discuss things between ourselves and figure out what sort of a thank you note to send. Great matches in the LS are … rare. Cherish the ones that you make. And don’t ever “take one for the team.”
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1 pointNothing wrong with that. Being in the lifestyle doesn't mean everything has to be symmetric. Nice. That was a good play session.
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1 pointIf you wouldn't mind, could you please share the details of this story and the woman that you two met. It is fascinating. Fear can be justified if it is rational, but others, especially the faux religious, create fear around sex to control people and deny them pleasure. God is the One who gave us intense pleasure around sex and created us (as He did all creatures) as non-monogamous beings, even in a committed marriage. I too am thankful that we, all five of us, found each other young and the joys of our poly family. Many people here on this forum come to the realization later and struggle to change their lifetime of thinking and get into the lifestyle.
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1 pointIf we are meeting a new couple near home, we advise them that our first meeting is vanilla only. Meaning we are going to have dinner, drinks, dessert or whatever but not sex. This way, my wife and I can privately discuss whether we want to meet them to play. Sometimes one of us notices something important about the other couple, good or bad, but we can’t discuss it in front of them. Or one of us is excited and the other one is repulsed. This method takes off a lot of pressure. And avoids potential embarrassing moments. All bets are off if we are at a cruise, resort, house party or club. We’ll play without dinner, but we do have to meet a little. Those are easier places to start a lifestyle connection.
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1 pointSorry about the negative experience ☹️ It sucks that you had a bad experience while you're still sort of new. That can sour things but please don't let it. Think of every bad experience as a lesson learned, grow from it, and make your next one better. I think maybe adopt a new rule to not do separate rooms until you have done same-room a couple times first. I know some couples are into the separate room thing, but honestly we don't get it. For us, half the pleasure is watching your partner.
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1 pointWe are sorry for you and what is happened to you. We have had nearly the same experience for 30 years ago, than after we have made rules that they were no for discussion or modifications for swinging with others couple: - First meet restaurant or bars to know each others and to speak about goes and no goes without compromise. - Second meeting it is always in club for to play in one room, when we get feeling after first play it will not work or it begins with rules changing or we found out there is deviation from what have spoken. We break at once and given them a single that we us it isn't working. - When we have had a nice night with the couple in club and all four are happy how it was going, next step we can meet in private but always first to our house. Take it like a bad experience for to make it better next time because in lifestyle they are more beautiful and nice experience and meeting from other couples that they are like you and think like you. Sorry englisch is not my mother language.
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1 pointI agree, not a good arrangement for the wife or her play partner. Even for her husband, wouldn't it be more exciting to see his wife getting what she wants? What she really, really wants? Yes and yes. I along with Clair and Lora have played outside our poly family, both with David and Red (the men in our family) being there and alone. We are in control of what we do; it's for our pleasure.
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1 pointWhen my wife has had solo dates with a new partner or long term partner, it's usually her that makes the arrangements. I've helped out with finding partners, but it's her that gets and keeps the ball rolling. I've never described myself as a "cuckold". I very much enjoy my wife having sex with other men. I leave it at that. I don't need a label :)
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1 pointIt's not a judgment, but to me a slut is a woman who has indiscriminate sex with people who she hardly knows. That's fine, but for me I don't want to fuck unless there is a connection on another level. None of us have ever used the term. It's ambiguous in my mind, anything from a guy in the lifestyle whose wife fucks other men, to a guy who is monogamous while his wife surreptitiously has a lover. The lifestyle has room for everyone.
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1 pointIf the male or female for that matter as a couple; remember """" it's just sex """... Had numerous adventures with both males and females with my wife. As my pointed out, she becomes super aroused watching me having sex with another woman... Especially when she knows she gets to eat her out afterwards. Both physical and mental stimulation at its finest.
