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I was always adamant on enjoying a partner privately in a separate room away from my husband and others watching. My feelings go back to our original, and still my favorite swap partner. Normally we meet our friends for vacations, cruises, and occasionally at their home. This past weekend they came to the Jersey shore with several other couples who were interested in going to our clothing optional beach. Swapping for us started on a cruise and a visit to a nude beach about 10 years ago. Those who know Gunnisons beach know there isn’t many hotels on the beach, our friends rented a shore house a half hour away. Also you need to get to this area early if you want to get a parking spot. We met them on the beach and being the locals we brought the best bagels, lox, cream cheese and a Jersey specialty, Pork Roll. No fights, Taylor Ham. Meeting on a nude beach is the best, no problems later being naked. Back at the rental things went perfectly as all was done in a huge family room. No pairing off for private play as I usually do, it was just fun for fun’s sake. Mr S2P and I were the newbies to most of them and became the attention of those who wanted to welcome us to their fun. This is not the first time we were with a party group, I always felt uncomfortable in front of a crowd. I enjoy staying with one partner so I needed to change my attitude and let go.

We are planning something a little different, which has both Joe and Shannon, and Clair excited. Shannon is going to visit us while Joe stays at home and Clair visits him. It's exciting because in Joe’s mind (and Shan's) his darling wife will be away, out of sight even, whoring with our guys, while for Clair and Joe it will be a romantic weekend. Clair deserves a break from being the full-time stay-at-home mom for our kids.

Once we were on Gunnison. A couple moved their chairs closer and closer to us. We had dinner with them. Played the next night. They admitted they were trying to pick us up, which was flattering. Another time we met a group at Gunnison. Chatted with a couple we did not know. As we were leaving, we asked where they were staying. The hotel room next to ours! Blah, blah, blah, dinner, we did each other. I said we often have sex with the couples next door.

A friend of mine showed me one in HS. The cover featured a POV photo facing down at a woman on her knees, mouth open, a circle of 4 or 5 hard cocks around her face. Inside were those grainy b&w photos of people who looked like our parents - engaged in unspeakable acts and seeking willing partners. My friend and I laughed and made fun - but my mind was reeling. I had no idea a lifestyle like this was available! From that moment on I knew I wanted to be a swinger when I 'grew up'. I would casually float the idea to girls I dated, and if they were repulsed I honestly saw no future with them.

According to other folks on the board who have more recently frequented Gunnison Beach (which is part of the Sandy Hood federal park) you cannot have sex there. If you do and are caught you are subject to arrest on non-trivial public indecency charges. I will tell you that the situation was different 25 or 30 years ago. Sex wasn’t frequent, but some people pitched tents and had sex out of sight of others and that didn’t seem to be a problem. It was not unusual to see a nude couple on their feet fully embrace for perhaps 20 or 30 seconds. I once saw a couple, a young woman and a late-middle-aged man, 69-ing right next to the path just after it divides from textile to nude. I thought that was a bit much. Once we went down to the southern end of the beach in the late afternoon and Kathy masturbated herself to orgasm with a pocket-rocket vibe. She was still sufficiently turned on that she did it again on the drive home. 😂

@Shore2Please - we are sort of opposite in that we like playing in and in front of groups and are more uncomfortable with the separate room thing. Glad to hear you enjoyed being a wild exhibitionist swinger for a change 😀 We love Gunny. Don't get there often enough. We were regulars way back in the pre-kids days and back then we would get a room in Long Branch to save us the long drives back and forth when we wanted to spend the whole weekend. A couple times we brought folks from the beach back to our room to spend the night. Great memories!

I got very excited the both times I watched Timmy having sex with other women and totally turned on watching the two other women together. Watching is exciting and educational. I never knew there was a nude beach in New Jersey where you can have sex. At the party did you have sex with all the men, did it feel different to watch others have sex?

As a typical teenager, I had a lot of potential interests as career options. And then... Every. Last. One. Of. Them....went right out the window the first time someone sat me in front of a computer. I knew right then and there where my future lay, career wise. And so it has been, ever since then...decades on. As for swinger mags? Yep, saw them when I was a late teen/early 20s kid. Scandalous! How could people do such things? I mean, seriously? Ewwwww! No way! Friends felt the same. Fast forward ...and whaddya know, I'm in the swinger community myself 😄

When we lived in Monmouth County my wife and I (sometimes with visiting friends) often went to Gunnison. We only liked to stay for a couple of hours, so it worked out to arrive later in the afternoon, when the beach wasn’t crowded and parking spaces were plentiful. it seemed like people were more likely to try to pick us up later in the day.

After years of not being tested I ask my doctor to be tested. No questions of why from her I now get tested whenever I have bloodwork, not every month.

From a physician: we have heard it all, seen it all, and have one priority--your health. Please, tell us relevant information and help us help you stay safe.

Good rule of thumb; don't discuss things with people you don't want the whole world to know :) There's no reason a health care provider has to know about your sexual lifestyle, other than you want to be tested.

That settles that question. We went from meeting many new people to now enjoying real friends. I understand wanting new and different as you said there is an unknown element that each meeting brought. Now we found comfort and safety in our group that still brings us much enjoyment. You will find searching for something new is time consuming and is filled with many disappointments too. That is life and as you age you will find the second may be iffy. I can almost assure you she enjoyed it. Don’t feel your squirting is a bad thing, every man and most women feel your excitement when you have a strong orgasm. We all know that men squirt and expect them to, when a women orgasms we all have different ways we do. When Alan and I first started meeting others it was our aim to allow women to explore a curiosity or as Couplers said a Lesbian side. Our initial meeting was to allow Alan to see me with another woman, I wanted to show him I can orgasm from a woman. In all of our subsequent new meetings I wanted women to explore me and see that there is no shame in it. My biggest aim was to have the other woman to be relaxed and allow herself to orgasm. It wasn’t often that someone would squirt, when they did it wasn’t a shock it was my big pleasure. If you squirted she was rewarded for doing something right. Don’t hold back your pleasure.

What GoldCoCouple said * 1000. It's true; single men in the lifestyle are like leaves on trees. They're everywhere and anywhere. Supply FAR outstrips demand. So, your wife can be quite picky if she wants to and likely still get what she wants. If you make a profile on a swinger site (follow GoldCoCouple's advice about getting on one; find the right one and JOIN), and indicate you are looking for single males, you will likely be bombarded with contacts from single males, especially if you live within ~50 miles of a major metro area. Some filtering can be done. A piece of advice I've given out often; when you make your profile, make it at least somewhat long. Within it, bury an otherwise innocuous statement like "If you contact us, tell us what your favorite color is". Why do this? Because if you receive a contact from a single male and it doesn't answer the question, it's obvious they didn't read your profile. There are single males out there who just spam the same contact email to every couple they can find who is open to single males. I'm guessing you don't want a guy like that. So, this provides an easy pre-filter for single guys who contact you. Too hairy is certainly a valid concern. If I could offer a counterpoint though; one of the best lovers my wife has ever had in the lifestyle was a guy who was very hirsute. She just couldn't get enough sex with him, and absolutely loved having sex with him. Some other input; there are a number of different ways to dip your toes in the pool without actually jumping in. The idea of going to a sex club is one, but it can feel more intense than other ways of dipping your toes. You can go to a regular nightclub that seems to have your demographic, and let you wife dance with other men. You can sit in the shadows, and be there for her and watch. Nothing has to happen on her part, except have some fun dancing. Not into dancing? Have her sit at the bar while wearing a nice dress and heels, while you sit off in the corner. If it's a busy club, there's a pretty good chance one or more guys will talk her up. She doesn't have to do anything except enjoy her drink and have some conversation. Another way; go shopping together, and have her pick out guys she thinks are attractive. She doesn't even have to interact with them, just point out ones to you that she thinks are attractive. My wife and I have done this a number of times; she'll say "mmmmmmhe's a yes!" Another way; go to a swinger meet-and-greet. Most major metro areas have at least one group that puts on meet and greets for swinger couples. They're usually not sex-on-premise sorts of get togethers. You're just there to meet like minded people. It's usually almost all couples, but even so it's a way to meet people who actually have engaged in non-monogamy. It can be eye opening to realize swingers are just your average person you see in a grocery store. There's no pressure at such meet and greets. Another way; go to a clothing optional beach. That might seem a big step, but once you're on the beach and everyone else is naked, you'll feel awkward wearing a swimsuit...and off it goes. People (usually) aren't having sex on such beaches, so there's no pressure. Just the idea of other men looking at her may be quite erotic for her, without having to do anything. You can amp this up a bit, by wandering off and leaving her seemingly by herself for a while, but maybe within eye sight. . This is sort of like being at the bar of a club, except it's with her clothes off. There's a fair chance a guy might come round and talk with her. Since there's no pressure to have sex, it can be tantalizing to be laying there naked talking with a guy she just met. The situation you seem to desire is having her be a hotwife. Not cuckoldry, but her getting to have sex with whomever she'd like. That doesn't mean she would have sex with lots and lots of men, or it could mean that! It's up to her, and that's part of being a hotwife. There are lots of guys who thoroughly enjoy their wives having sex with other men, and are quite content to not extend that to inviting couples or single women into the mix. My wife and I have been with multiple couples, but our play has involved single men a lot more. I really, really enjoy her having sex with other men, whether I'm there or not. It sounds like you are similar, or at least will be once she does! There's a forum for hotwifing couples at ourhotwives.org. You might find that interesting. Don't get me wrong; this forum will love to have you here, and we'll be happy to keep answering questions. I'm just adding on that other forum as another input point for you. In support of all of this; communication is paramount. GoldCoCouple is right about discussing this outside of the bedroom, and it seems you are already doing that. This is really great! Let her know you support her 100%, love her completely, always will, and that you want her to fulfill her fantasies, whatever they may be! And yes, please do let us know how things progress!

First of all, talk about this when you are NOT in a sexual situation. See if it is just a fantasy or something that she is really willing to try. Let her KNOW that you don't have a problem with her being with another man (as long as you are there and involved), and you are actually very interested in seeing this as well. She needs to know that wanting this is okay with you, but also okay if she wants it to just remain a fantasy as well. If she is still interested in making this happen, then sign up for a swingers site (see: Please visit our sponsors at the top of every page). They will all generally let you set up a free profile so you can take a look around. Different sites will have more people in your area than others, so once you find one that is well represented close by, JOIN IT. Most people don't take the free members seriously since too often they are men wishing that actually were in a situation where they could really be doing this with their partner. It's usually only a couple of $$...less than you would spend going out for dinner, and WELL WORTH the small investment. Finding single men looking for a MFM on any of these sites is like finding a cheeseburger at McD's...there will be HUNDREDS of men looking for a couple wanting a MFM. Then, while you can look together, she can also look and try and find the 'perfect guy' for her (remember: HUNDREDS if not thousands of men are there). I would recommend that you make sure that they are not married, or, if they are, their partner is okay with what they are doing. You don't want to get caught up in someone else's drama. Find the 'perfect guy', meet him, and see where it goes. We usually suggest meeting for dinner or drinks with the understanding that it is just a first meeting and that NOTHING else is going to happen the first meet. That way she doesn't feel any pressure, you can both continue to discuss this afterwards, and she can be sure that he is the right guy to go forward with (or not). Keep letting her know that if, at any time, she doesn't want to move forward, that you are also okay with that. She should NEVER feel like she has to do anything she is uncomfortable with. He should know what she is willing to do and not willing to do before anything happens, and, if he is a true gentleman, he will always ask before he does anything. At this point (if you make it this far), you two are on your own. Good luck and let us know how things may progress...

Where I am, all health care people I go to have access to EVERYthing in my medical history. They're all networked to each other. Even my dentist. That's both cool and horrifying. Anyway, I had a reason that had nothing to do with swinging to get an STD test some years ago. I asked my regular doctor for one, which he dutifully ordered. But, he was very curious why. He knows I'm happily married and have been for many years. He didn't ASK why, but every bit of his body language made it very clear he didn't understand and wanted to understand. It's the last time I got an STD test from him both for that reason and because it's all interconnected to every other health care person I see.