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For me, it makes me feel, actually know that I am controlling a man. With his dick in my mouth he will do anything that I ask. Perhaps I overthink my sex acts and situations afterwards, but I really enjoy that aspect of it. Turning over how my sex partners reacted both with me and others, those momentary surprises, how it all settles into my mind. Despite my comfort with our lifestyle, the lingering perversion of it all.

Explaining why we enjoy certain things in our lives is difficult to do to people who don’t understand trying new things. Look up a list of sexual kinks, some will interesting, some will be horrifying, some outright dangerous. There is a kink for every letter in the alphabet. Start with A and you will see Ass as in Anal and analingus, also Age Play. Asphyxiation is very dangerous, I never got that B is for bondage C choking, D dominance. You get the picture? Some may say Michael is a cuckold, I never think of him that way. Once you see a list of kinks you may find some you want to try. The big problem is finding a partner that knows your boundaries. Your reason for enjoying giving your husband a blowjob can be drastically different than the reason you give other men blowjobs. Sucking my husband is an act of love and connection, giving a blowjob to a stranger is about me, my kink, my fetish. There is no way to explain my feeling, my ecstasy of seeing a man I just met get erect while I take him out and enjoy that one part of him. It’s about me, not him. Can I make him cum fast or do I take me time and make him squirm from my teasing. My suggestion is not to think why, my suggestion is to enjoy. Try things you think you will enjoy but be careful as your partners can have other ideas of what you really want. Another big suggestion that you must follow, Get Tested.

It's fair to say that when a closed group admits another, it is (at least transiently) no longer closed. From a medical perspective, there is risk assessment and risk management that should be part of the decision making and planning. While there is little evidence that swingers are more likely carriers of a sexually transmitted infection than persons who report monogamy, STIs are known in both groups. There are five general groups of STIs worth considering: 1. Common, very easily transmitted, easily detected, easily treated. Chlamydia and Trichomonas are examples in this group. Transmission rates from a single sexual contact with those untreated and shedding the organisms are very high. 2. Common, very easily transmitted, easily detected, must be identified early and treated aggressively to prevent serious health issues. Gonorrhea and Syphilis are examples in this group. Same story--a single contact with an infected person who is shedding pathogen is very high. 3. Somewhat common, transmissibility moderate, often detected late, curable but costly to cure, no preventive immunization is available. Hepatitis C is in this group. 4. Less common, less easily transmitted, often detected late, chronic and must be managed with suppressive treatment. Herpes and HIV fall into this group. The former is a nuisance, the latter requires care forever to suppress the viral load. (Side note, those with HIV who responsibly use their meds and suppress their viral load to undetectable are highly unlikely to transmit the illness to partners/playmates. ) 5. Less common, transmissibility harder to assess, often detected late, chronic, for which preventive immunization is available. HPV and Hepatitis B fall into this group. All of the above is invites closed groups "adding" a single or a couple or whatever to stop, think, assess, and decide how they want to proceed. There are two major considerations. 1. Are all members of the (currently) closed group free of these pathogens? Are the proposed new entrants similarly free of these pathogens? Those considerations suggest adding members should prompt _all_ members, current and proposed new ones, to simultaneously test. 2. What is the probability that the group is actually remaining 'closed'? The larger a group gets, the lower the probability that the group is actually remaining closed. It's worth taking 30 seconds to read this article in New Scientist: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn913-six-degrees-of-copulation The salient quote from the brief piece: By checking how many sexual partners people had in one year, they could estimate the number of sexual liaisons needed to link two people. “We found it could be much less than six,” says Amaral. “Any two people might only be two or three connections apart,” he says. “Those people who think they are in no way connected to those with STDs are very wrong.” (Disclosure: One of us was a peer-reviewer of the original publication in Nature, an archived form of which can be found here: https://arxiv.org/pdf/cond-mat/0106507 )

I admire you more and more. Knows what she wants, in control. And at a young age. I hope that my daughters grow up to have the early insight and maturity that you and PSU Lioness have.

Just to be clear, the only reason I'm hesitant is because we started playing exclusively with this other couple so that we could play bareback. I enjoy a man's cum on and in me (mostly on) but didn't feel safe doing that if we had partners where we weren't certain of their sexual activity. This single woman is very nice, has an amazing body but very humble and giving, and in no way am I worried she's going to steal anything. She has been honest about her sexual activity, and I'm worried about adding her for that reason.

we just find a little asymmetry is a nice addition to couples' parties 😁.

Many of the comments in this thread surprise me. I have been rejected by groups, but only because of my age when I was not yet 21. I have never been rejected by a group because I was single and might upset the dynamic. Having said that, I have encountered a number of hostile married women who thought I, as a single woman, was there to steal their man. I had to explain many times that I'm in the lifestyle to avoid being in a relationship and still getting my considerable sexual needs met. Most of them became less hostile as they got to know me, but a few didn't. Of course, I'm in the lifestyle for a lot of other reasons, but that is one of the more important reasons.

You were wise beyond your years. There are so many posts here that start out, "We've been married 25 years, how do I get my wife interested in swinging"? rather than starting out with a woman interested in or already swinging. So is that what you did with your wife?

A friend of mine showed me one in HS. The cover featured a POV photo facing down at a woman on her knees, mouth open, a circle of 4 or 5 hard cocks around her face. Inside were those grainy b&w photos of people who looked like our parents - engaged in unspeakable acts and seeking willing partners. My friend and I laughed and made fun - but my mind was reeling. I had no idea a lifestyle like this was available! From that moment on I knew I wanted to be a swinger when I 'grew up'. I would casually float the idea to girls I dated, and if they were repulsed I honestly saw no future with them.

That's what I suspected, but I wanted to give him the chance.

My first mfm involves me, my cousin and a gal that my cousin fucked and smoked a lot of weed with. Me and my cousin were like brothers, we worked together, went to same college, and played on the same baseball teams together. We were in college and I went to his apartment to ask him to swap shifts at work. He let me in and the smoke was rolling. It wasn't long and she asked me if I would help DP her, something she had wanted to try. We all 3 got naked and got into a full size bed. My cousin doesn't do anything anal, he considers it exit only so I took her butt. My cousin laid on his back, she got on top cowgirl and I entered her asshole. I have read on different threads about the difficulty of DP, But we had no problems, we both entered her with ease. It was great for me, and she must have liked it because my cousin and his bed was soaked.