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I don't understand the asphyxiation thing either but it really can't be that uncommon. I would say without question my GF enjoys some level of asphyxiation as she enjoys being choked (this freaks me out) and being throatfucked where she can't really breathe (this doesn't freak me out as much anymore because she can always just bite her way off if it ever went too far - but OUCH). So I always thought from that perspective that asphyxiation was a turn on for her because it was part of the dominant/ submissive play. However, you also see men who sometimes die asphyxiating themselves while masturbating. So maybe their is some kind of pleasure when asphyxiation and sex are mixed together? Either way, I personally don't want to find out.

On a larger scale outside of just blowjobs, I think asking "why certain acts" is an interesting question. We've come across a lot of guys with some kinks and fetishes that range from mild to bizarre in our opinion. And we don't really get into the psychological aspect of "why this act" or even really question it that much. We rather just think of it as "to each their own." But it would be interesting to maybe learn or gain insight into certain why people like certain sexual acts.

It all depends on the setting. In a sensual setting where a woman teases a man and slowly begins a blowjob I can definitely see that. In a setting where a guy puts her down on her knees, slaps her, and fucks her throat.. not as much,

Explaining why we enjoy certain things in our lives is difficult to do to people who don’t understand trying new things. Look up a list of sexual kinks, some will interesting, some will be horrifying, some outright dangerous. There is a kink for every letter in the alphabet. Start with A and you will see Ass as in Anal and analingus, also Age Play. Asphyxiation is very dangerous, I never got that B is for bondage C choking, D dominance. You get the picture? Some may say Michael is a cuckold, I never think of him that way. Once you see a list of kinks you may find some you want to try. The big problem is finding a partner that knows your boundaries. Your reason for enjoying giving your husband a blowjob can be drastically different than the reason you give other men blowjobs. Sucking my husband is an act of love and connection, giving a blowjob to a stranger is about me, my kink, my fetish. There is no way to explain my feeling, my ecstasy of seeing a man I just met get erect while I take him out and enjoy that one part of him. It’s about me, not him. Can I make him cum fast or do I take me time and make him squirm from my teasing. My suggestion is not to think why, my suggestion is to enjoy. Try things you think you will enjoy but be careful as your partners can have other ideas of what you really want. Another big suggestion that you must follow, Get Tested.

It's fair to say that when a closed group admits another, it is (at least transiently) no longer closed. From a medical perspective, there is risk assessment and risk management that should be part of the decision making and planning. While there is little evidence that swingers are more likely carriers of a sexually transmitted infection than persons who report monogamy, STIs are known in both groups. There are five general groups of STIs worth considering: 1. Common, very easily transmitted, easily detected, easily treated. Chlamydia and Trichomonas are examples in this group. Transmission rates from a single sexual contact with those untreated and shedding the organisms are very high. 2. Common, very easily transmitted, easily detected, must be identified early and treated aggressively to prevent serious health issues. Gonorrhea and Syphilis are examples in this group. Same story--a single contact with an infected person who is shedding pathogen is very high. 3. Somewhat common, transmissibility moderate, often detected late, curable but costly to cure, no preventive immunization is available. Hepatitis C is in this group. 4. Less common, less easily transmitted, often detected late, chronic and must be managed with suppressive treatment. Herpes and HIV fall into this group. The former is a nuisance, the latter requires care forever to suppress the viral load. (Side note, those with HIV who responsibly use their meds and suppress their viral load to undetectable are highly unlikely to transmit the illness to partners/playmates. ) 5. Less common, transmissibility harder to assess, often detected late, chronic, for which preventive immunization is available. HPV and Hepatitis B fall into this group. All of the above is invites closed groups "adding" a single or a couple or whatever to stop, think, assess, and decide how they want to proceed. There are two major considerations. 1. Are all members of the (currently) closed group free of these pathogens? Are the proposed new entrants similarly free of these pathogens? Those considerations suggest adding members should prompt _all_ members, current and proposed new ones, to simultaneously test. 2. What is the probability that the group is actually remaining 'closed'? The larger a group gets, the lower the probability that the group is actually remaining closed. It's worth taking 30 seconds to read this article in New Scientist: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn913-six-degrees-of-copulation The salient quote from the brief piece: By checking how many sexual partners people had in one year, they could estimate the number of sexual liaisons needed to link two people. “We found it could be much less than six,” says Amaral. “Any two people might only be two or three connections apart,” he says. “Those people who think they are in no way connected to those with STDs are very wrong.” (Disclosure: One of us was a peer-reviewer of the original publication in Nature, an archived form of which can be found here: https://arxiv.org/pdf/cond-mat/0106507 )

Just to be clear, the only reason I'm hesitant is because we started playing exclusively with this other couple so that we could play bareback. I enjoy a man's cum on and in me (mostly on) but didn't feel safe doing that if we had partners where we weren't certain of their sexual activity. This single woman is very nice, has an amazing body but very humble and giving, and in no way am I worried she's going to steal anything. She has been honest about her sexual activity, and I'm worried about adding her for that reason.

She is a doll, Alan and I adore her. We met when she was married and now she is almost like family in a good way. She doesn’t mind our rule of being tested regularly.

Our group is not entirely closed, we just find a mutual enjoyment in meeting for our fun. We went years looking for new partners which became exhausting and disappointing many times. We don’t have a rule about outside play, all couples are open to have fun away from our group. I understand the reason for a closed group, safety and less chance of disease or infection being primary. Recently we allowed a divorced younger woman who has a lifestyle history to join our party.

The same with me. I have a SO and a bf, but in reality the distinction is already superficial now. I have child from both. The relationship naturally evolved into polyamory. The only problem is if your wife is not wired as polyamorous. If the mindset is mono, she might choose only one of you. You have to explore her wiring. If she is mono, tell her it's game over on your swinging lifestyle.

Good to hear; that sounds a like us, except we're a 3 woman, 2 man family with children of mixed parentage. And some occasional lifestyle play. Our happiness and success as a family is a result of each understanding the others and being selfless, but also a tremendous amount of luck at finding each other

I am a man that regularly goes bareback in the lifestyle. I do discuss beforehand and I regulary get tested and ask for the same of my partners. It is not perfect but I do think it is reasonable when you go bare. The next question is do you risk pregnancy by not pulling out. That is even more thrilling than playing bareback. Yes, I pull out on her request.