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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/30/2024 in all areas
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2 pointsMen can feel the difference and my GF says she can too. She prefers no condom but she uses them. There are a couple of really close friends that we have which she doesn't use them with (and they do get tested) but for everyone else she does. She doesn't use them for oral though as she hates giving oral with a condom. As far as who puts the condom on, it varies. I would say usually the guy does but I have seen my GF put it on a guy before. The reality is, condom or not, you are always going to be taking your chance of an STI. But condoms certainly do help reduce your chances. And there were times when my GF was rather careless and didn't use a condom when she should have. This was mostly earlier on when we were in our early and mid 20s. Although I told her to use condoms things were more casual between us so I didn't really push it that hard. Now she is much more on top of it. But even now she has had a slip up. My point is that there is always some level of risk if you're going to play. You just have to find the best way to mitigate those risks without losing too much pleasure from your play.
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2 pointsThat very start foreshadowed what was to come. Her then boyfriend, future husband, left her when she told him about that night. We didn’t know them then, he only returned when she included him in the parties. In our history we found men who say they enjoy watching yet have deep feelings of jealousy. Even if he played with all of her friends he just went along with her desires. The relationship with his friend was her husband’s safety net. He felt if he had a trusted friend watching out for Leah she would not look to other men. In reality she ran to that friend as soon as her husband went on business trips. Was it a romantic relationship or better sex I don’t know, Leah can’t or won’t say. I think a combination. That is correct, we don’t want to judge. She found what she thought was a safe man, mature, older, what she called a professional. She was being taken care of, maybe a sugar baby. We all have kinks that can’t be judged, I say she was being abused. Leah told me this man became controlling, selecting men for her to have sex with. His big kink was spanking and watching others spank her. I don’t know what woke her up, even though she has opened up to me she still hides some of her ordeal. She is seeing a therapist, she says, that she says is what she needed. When I read posts I find myself analyzing the deeper meanings. I met too many women who I felt were pleasing someone else by meeting us. Some women hid this very well, I tried to catch those relationships before playing. Alan and I finally decided not to be the cause of abuse in those marriages and stopped what we were doing.
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1 pointWomen on the board here will respond with their personal views on whether intercourse with a condom physically feels different. I’ve never had a woman say it does. I’m not sure with adequate vaginal lubrication — natural or added — there would be much difference. But for a number of women I’ve known there’s a big psychological difference. Just a couple preferred condoms because they didn’t like sex to be "messy". Keep all that semen out of me! Some just didn’t care. And some really liked having their partner’s semen in them. That made sex more gratifying. From a male perspective, putting aside the (very important) considerations of contraception and transmission of STIs, I cannot imagine there are many men who think intercourse with a condom feels better than without. For me there’s a huge difference. And barrier oral, whether dental dams for performing on women or condoms for receiving oral myself, well, why even bother. My wife and I once tried using a dental dam. For me it was like licking a balloon. And not really any better for her as a recipient. Circling back to your concern about contracting STIs through unprotected sex with casual partners, your concerns are well founded. It’s a matter of balancing risks and rewards. Other than celibacy there is no 100% way to be completely safe from contracting an STI. Not speaking of your relationship of course, but there are plenty of non-lifestyle folks who are sexually exclusive with a partner who have contracted an STI from that sole partner because that partner had sex with others. Members of this board have widely differing approaches to risk assessment and mitigation. Risk tolerance varies widely. @Numex is in a closed smallish group of couples who all signed a (virtual) blood oath not to have sex of any sort with others outside the group. To my recollection he’s never spoken of any other steps the group has taken to mitigate risk. Others have said that in casual encounters they use condoms and otherwise avoid fluid sharing, but eschew those measures with regular partners with whom they’ve developed a trusting relationship. ‘And some, by my observation often those who play with others weekly or even more frequently, wouldn’t dream of having unprotected sex. Finally, I predict that as you and your husband ease yourselves into a life of non-monogamy your fears of STIs will abate, particularly as you arrive at a level of risk acceptance that feels right for you and your husband.
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1 pointI have a question too. I never had sex with a condom, is it different? Can you feel a difference during sex and during his ejaculation? Also who puts the condom on him, you or does he do it himself? I’m not afraid of becoming pregnant so it’s all the diseases and infections that scare me. My first female sex involved the wife and the ejaculate of her husband, that wouldn’t happen with a condom.
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1 pointSorry that happened to you, better times ahead. Good to see you back.
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1 pointUnfortunately divorce is extremely common today with almost half marriages failing. There are normally many factors leading to the separation with one extra incident that finally makes the breakup inevitable. Swinging is not an activity that saves marriages, it sometimes adds to a fractured relationship. My husband Alan said that marriages need time learn about spouses, get to know each other before taking the big step. Leah’s marriage started with swinging, her husband enjoyed a fantasy of sex with Leah’s girlfriends. It was her husband that insisted that his friend be a surrogate husband when he was away. The friend was the safe sexual partner. Alan said that was dangerous situation that would eventually become a problem. This is Leah’s thread, I don’t want to hijack it. We will reiterate that she is a great young lady though she isn’t that young anymore. She is well educated, smart, knows life and is street smart. Her divorce happened as so many others have, what is more concerning is the jerk she looked to as a rebound. The question is how she allowed a degenerate run her life, how he used her when she had so many friends she could have turned to for support. Why do women become subservient out of weakness? PS Leah doesn’t have a cat.
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1 pointIt's all about one's tolerance for risk and managing it. One of the aspects of our closed group is that we believe that there is much less likelihood of someone cheating, that is going outside the group, than with a regular vanilla married couple. Our group provides a quantity and variety of sex that reduces the temptation to cheat by needing to go outside the group. Any new potential members need to do 3 things: test and retest to our satisfaction; stay monogamous with their spouse until approved and joining the group; prior to joining, demonstrate the mindset of the group by being naked, having sex with your spouse in front of everyone, and watch others in the group having sex. Since the original group formed we've only had one other couple join. Surprisingly, they had no prior swinging experience and everyone was doubtful, but they passed, including the third test.
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1 pointLeah, you are lucky you live in NJ where women are still in control of their bodies. As the others we are glad you escaped from bad people. We will look for promising future posts.
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1 pointThis all started around forty years ago when my wife Beth and I had dated for a few years then married. It wasn't long after we married that I introduced her to her first big realistic porn star dildo. When she first saw it she laughed and said, "That'll never fit in my pussy, are you nuts?!" But she agreed to trying and found not only did it fit but she really enjoyed it. She was amazed by how much she enjoyed it. So much so that she requested I use it on her quite a lot. She also discovered she enjoyed big cock porn, she was fascinated by it. Soon was I combining using a huge dildo on her at the same time she watched big cock porn, this led her to experience huge orgasms. She couldn't get enough. She was finally exploring her sexuality and expanding her outlook on sexual pleasure. One night after some really hot sex I questioned her if she ever fantasized about fucking other men, especially well-hung men. She responded that of course she did, stated that most women had this fantasy, and she believed it was quite common. So I pursued it further and asked her if she wanted to try another man's cock and how much did she really desire to do it? She said that it sounded exciting and fun but she would never do anything to endanger our marriage. I said, "What if I told you that I wanted to watch you have sex with another man, one that had a really big cock. Would you then consider it?" She laughed and said she'd be game if it was something I was serious about and really wanted her to do. She said, "Come on, let's be real. It's exciting and fun to imagine it, but to really do it? Please! That's a major game changer." So I said, "I'm very serious. I've watched the way you enjoy the dildos especially while watching big cock videos. It turns me on big time seeing how excited you get and how many times you climax from doing these two things at the same time. I want to watch you do it for real. No BS, just watching you getting slammed by a big cock would be a huge turn-on for me. So what do you really think now that you know that I'm serious and am giving you this opportunity?" I could see her giving it some serious thought, she didn't get mad or upset at me or the idea, no resistance whatsoever to my request. The more she considered the idea the more it appeared to me that she was very intrigued with the idea and it excited her. She started asking all kinds of questions, like wouldn't I be jealous, or think the worst of her, or what if she really enjoyed it and wanted more or didn't feel comfortable screwing another man, then what? Were there any rules and what were the consequences? Was I absolutely sure that I really wanted her to do this, because once done there was no going back! After she finished asking everything she had concerns about I answered all her questions and we talked about the rules/boundaries we would have in place to keep it fun and exciting without any reservations or guilt. This was to make sure she fully understood my concerns and alleviate all of hers as well. It seemed she came to a decision at which point she smiled and enthusiastically said yes, she'd do it! Did I have someone special in mind she wondered? She said she had to agree to my choices for her sexual escapades or it wasn't gonna happen. I then informed her I was thinking of Bruce. Beth squealed with glee, she admitted she has had fantasies about Bruce for some time now and I couldn't have picked a better choice for her first time. She would absolutely love to fuck Bruce. She said she was getting wet thinking about sex with him. A few days later I met up with Bruce for an after work drink. As we enjoyed several drinks we talked a lot. Soon I steered the conversation towards my wife Beth. I asked Bruce to be honest and tell me what he thought about Beth. He admitted he thought Beth was smokin' hot. She had a killer body and was just gorgeous, always was friendly, and liked flirting with him when they were together. I asked him if he' ever had the chance would he consider having sex with her? He looked a bit concerned by my question but answered yes, he wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of such an opportunity. So I told him that Beth really wanted to have sex with him, and that I was okay with them hooking up. I explained that was my kink watching her get fucked by other men, it really turned me on. Bruce considered it for several minutes then said okay sure, he'd love to fuck Beth. Just give him the details when we're ready to make it happen. When I got home I told Beth about my conversation with Bruce and what he said. She looked startled and said she couldn't believe I did that. So I asked her if what I did was so wrong and did she still want to go through with it? She excitedly said Oh hell yes she did, and no I wasn't wrong! So we made plans and set a date for Beth's first cock. The night arrived finding Beth both excited and hot with anticipation. She was dressed to kill showing off her sexy body wearing no underwear. When Bruce knocked on the door I answered it and escorted him into our house. Beth entered the living room and gave Bruce a big hug pressing her chest and pelvis into him and then kissed him on the lips. Bruce kissed her back and he sat down pulling her on to his lap. Nether one of them wasted any time, tongues going everywhere, hands exploring and groping each other, clothes coming off. Soon they were both naked and Beth got a pleasant surprise, Bruce was very well hung. She giggled with delight. Beth took Bruce's hand and led him to our bed. She pushed him down on the bed and went to work on Bruce's big cock giving him an enthusiastic blow job. After a while Bruce flipped Beth on her back and went to work on her pussy and clit. Beth orgasmed in minutes, fully enjoying Bruce's skilled tongue. I stood in the background watching the show. Soon Bruce moved into position between Beth's legs. As he rubbed his cock against Beth's open pussy and clit she responded with loud moans and started pressing her pussy against Bruce's cock. As he slid his huge cock into Beth's pussy she had a big climax. As he went deeper he increased his speed and Beth climaxed again. She was enthralled with his big cock pumping her pussy, she was moving her hips and swearing, telling him his cock felt so good. She looked over at me and said she loved how good his big cock felt inside her. She told Bruce to stretch her pussy good, to fuck her hard. She was in sexual ecstasy, a place she'd never been before. Her facial expressions showed pure bliss and the sounds she was making were hot as hell. I never seen her so turned on, she must of had a dozen orgasms, many of which were huge. They fucked each other hard for a good twenty minutes then Bruce erupted into Beth's pussy, filling her with his cum. This gave Beth another climax. Afterwards he laid on Beth for a minute then rolled off her. He'd destroyed her pussy, it gaped open with his cum dripping out of her. They kissed and he got up to dress while Beth laid there spent. She looked at me and smiled big time. She said, "Your turn!", so I took sloppy seconds and enjoyed it beyond belief. Bruce watched us have sex then commented that watching real sex was so much hotter than any porno ever could be. He understood my enjoyment of watching my wife fuck other men. He said he'd like to do it again and Beth was all for it. So they made plans to hook up again. Then Bruce left. Beth and I talked about how well things went, and how she wasn't prepared for how much she enjoyed his big cock. It was mind boggling! She thanked me profusely for asking her to do this, the opportunity to experience such awesome sex. She says she'll never be the same again and is looking forward to more big cock sex. So our new lifestyle began.
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