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Why would you need lube to give a woman oral?

We are very into exhibitionism and also very into voyeurism. We enjoy a heaping dose of both!

My wife was definitely the Exhibitionist. She loved to prance around the dance floor at our swing club in naughty little things, or even less. Me? I never minded being with her (or someone else) while being watched, but I did love watching an attractive woman being 'naughty'. .

It's the big three: love, communication and trust. You can't have too much of any of the three. Realize that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do...in fact, you Shouldn't EVER do anything you don't want to do (also known as 'taking one for the team'). Insecurity (and jealousy) comes from not enough of at least one of the big three. It can (and usually does) take some time to 'get over this'...realization that your partner is okay with this, that nobody is going to condemn you for doing it, that it isn't cheating if you are doing it together and with each others knowledge and permission. Still, some people are not 'wired' for this...sad, but that's just how they are. It took me awhile to feel more comfortable with swinging, and there are still times that doubt and worry peeks in on me (strict religious upbringing), but I keep working on overcoming it when it does happen. Take your time, there's no pressure and no rush. You have the rest of your life to work on this...and it's also okay if you don't want to do this as well. Just keep talking as that will build more trust which, in turn, leads to increased love making it easier to keep talking...

For us it was time. It took time. As others have said, be patient, take your time, have fun taking things very slow, enjoy the journey. I was not at all looking to be with other women. I am crazy about bi male sex and sharing that experience with my husband. I had to give a little to get a lot, over time I got used to being right there with other women, more and more happened. Other women can teach you things you never knew you didn't know. I perform oral better than ever thanks to doing it with other women (and men) so of course we wound up in interesting situations. I do know when cum is involved, kissing other people, wherever that is (mouth, pussy, breasts, penis, balls, sometimes is a blur. I get all caught up in the heat of the moment. Addictions can do that to a person I suppose. I let what happens, happens, and the flow works itself out. It took my husband even longer, but once he saw all I was willing to do and how much fun it was step by step along with me gave in. We absolutely have no regrets!

We have started with swinging for 35 years ago. We were curious after we have read an article about swinging and lifestyle. It took a long time and a lot of discussion bevor we made first step with a couple first time soft swapp, both we have liked, the next swinging evening the first step with full swapp, we have had enjoyed it. Till today, we have never regretted and we enjoy our lifestyle.

That is a great start. There's nothing wrong with that. Things don't have to be the same all around. That's part of the fun. Don't pressure yourself (or let anyone else) into feeling that you have to do something. Ever. Just gently explore when and if the time comes.

Wish I could remember her name, but years ago in Santa Cruz a (female) author/therapist was speaking about her new book on female sexuality. In regards to #5, she told a story of being at an all female retreat and she at one of the breakout sessions. One woman mentioned to the group that #5 was one of her fantasy's. She was shocked when many of the other women in the group got upset with the women for even mentioning something like that. The author said that in her years of study #5 is very common and that you should not be ashamed, your fantasy is your fantasy. The way you interpret something might be different than the way someone else interpret it. I (mistakenly) assumed most ladies had group sex in top 3, with "forced" and "Bi sex" on the list as well.....and for some a black man/men.

I'm sure the survey was of mainstream folks but for swingers I would think that watching their partner have sex with someone else would be near the top of the list.