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Why would you need lube to give a woman oral?

Do others talk to the other wives you have played with? We are still new to swinging and learning how to communicate with others during and after meeting others. There are a few on here that have reached out to me privately giving advice on how to proceed meeting others. When reading the public and private messages I take into account the ages and wisdom that comes with age and take the advice seriously. One gentleman wrote that we should not rush to meet so many so quickly, we should enjoy making relationships with like minded people. Another wrote that I should enjoy my new found sexuality, but warned me about users and crazies. She also recommended building relationships. I was also warned of STI and worse. What I love is most writers are my parents age or older and are still active. I also enjoy the opportunity to share our limited experiences and my feelings which I do as if they were my age. This weekend we took a step back with someone we met for sex the weekend before. We met them for three hours with sex as the only reason, we needed to get home to our children. Our time with them was great for us and Timmy and I both thought we wanted to meet them again. Problem is we both have younger children that need sitters. With trying to build a friendship we decided that the families could spend a purely platonic family day together. Children are precious and no sex would be discussed. We met their family for Putt Putt golf and pizza. The kids had a great time together which led to extending the day to include a fair about an hour away. With two cars, the men drove the kids, I got to drive with my new friend alone for that hour. It was the first time other than the first couple we met on our vacation that I got to have an honest open exchange with a wife my age. It was funny how alike we are sexually and physically. They are way more experienced than we are but almost all the meetings are with a type. She opened that not all meetings were fun and not once did anyone want to meet socially. She was amazed about my life and virgin bride status. She asked if I was sorry I did that, I shrugged. We had plenty of laughs about sex and family life. I needed this, time to ask questions and make a friend who I hope I can trust. Night ended with the kids, now friends, having fun at the fair with more junk food and rides. Nobody got sick. I know this is all so quick and will change over time, do others ever get to make friends they can open up to with inner feelings. Maybe I scared her away and she thinks I’m nuts with all the questions, if not I look forward to a broad relationship with them.

To clarify, I mean to use it on yourself to have sex, not oral

Our poly family formed out of a combination of genuine social/ romantic interest and sex for its own sake, particularly me setting up my husband with my female friends and acquaintances just for our mutual three-way sexual pleasure. Our little bit of swinging outside the family has also been long-term and carried along by social interactions. All of this just to say that with the right people, sex can improve social interactions and social relationships can improve sex.

true but seeing it occur between your wife and another man is very exciting

Remember when I said not to make the mistakes we did letting good matches get away because we were looking for the next thrill. Alan used to say we were looking for Strange thinking it would be different. Different isn’t always better or even good. Sounds like you found a friend, keep them. You are young and strange will always be there if you want it.

That's a wonderful opportunity you had! And I'm so glad you have the opportunity to talk with her one on one, without the distraction of sex getting in the way. Our first couple experiences were happenstance, and total strangers - before and after our night in bed with them. We then went to a swingers club, which was nerve wracking and scary, but ended up being fun. Now we are fortunate to have found another couple who we play with exclusively, and have become very close friends with. We still have not mixed them in with our "vanilla" friends, but it's nice to know I can call her up and go shopping, or just talk over coffee or whatever. Those types of friendships are very important to me, but when we first started down this path, I thought I would have a very hard time talking over coffee with someone I went down on the night before, and whose husband has seen and felt every part of me, inside and out : ) But somehow, life is life, and sex is sex!