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We do less of this now but did enough of it that I had to check most boxes. LOL. We've usually done this with the intention of her flirting and then introducing me if it's going anywhere. Always gets hit on, not always a match. We've had guys lose interest when they realized I was there, had a couple struggle with erections upstairs, but usually it goes fine. If she has fun and gets felt up it's a success. She's also done it solo on a couple of trips. My favorite was visiting her sister in Europe last summer. She was texting me and it was much earlier here. Some guys were giving them a lot of attention and they were enjoying it. They're both married. Wife had to play it cautiously and circle back alone once her sister thought that they'd called it a night and parted ways. "Her" guy was still there.

Keep the conversations going if you want to remain friends and continue to have fun. Many women who are new to swinging and new to women play enjoy the after talk, it reassures them that what they did is fully acceptable. The talk usually started nonsexual moving on to talking about the men. The more difficult conversation was what they seemingly wanted to talk about, women playing with women. You have additional topics to talk about, your kids and family, a special bond you started. If you continue to stay friends you will have something very few on here mention, family outings.

I'm sure that long time members of the board are probably getting tired of hearing me say it, but here we go again... Love, trust, and communication...can't have too much of any of the three. Work on establishing as much of all three as possible, and you might just find out that your past won't hold you back as much as you think it will. The biggest issue is jealousy, but the enemy of jealous is love, trust and communication. Growing up, I was a very (insecure) jealous person. However, the open communication with Ms. Gold built a solid foundation of trust, which caused me to just love her more. Jealousy has never been a problem for either of us, because we KNOW that we are not looking for a replacement partner. I know that I'm so very lucky to have her (and she foolishly thinks that she's the lucky one to have me). The bottom line, however, is you are the only one who will know when (or if) you will ever be ready. While it is possible to dip your toes slowly into the swinging pool (be it same room sex, flirting with another couple, etc), if you aren't both ready, even that can start the beginning of fracturing a relationship. Talk with your partner, and be aware that neither of you need to rush anything...you (hopefully) will have the rest of your lives to experience this. Don't feel that you need to rush or jump into the deep end of the pool, and know that you can walk away at any time (one of our few rules...that if the other wants to stop, we are both stopping, without any explanation necessary or expected). If you stick with building the love, trust and communication, you should be okay (just make sure that you are HEARING what your partner is saying and not just hearing what you want to hear. Hope that helps some...I'm sure that more suggestions will be following soon.

When i was in college i was sorta dating a girl and one night in a college bar my friend told me she was there with another guy and when i found her she was making out with him. Holy shit that turned me on like crazy. She saw me too and was apologetic but i told her not to worry it was fine. Somehow when she heard me say that she turned her attention back to me and we went back to her place and fucked all night. Ever since then i have encouraged every girl i dated to engage in this game - mostly unsuccessfully. As for me i'm just wired that way. It drives me wild seeing my woman flirt and make out with others and 10x moreso if they actually fuck. And from my experience the "Bar Pickup Game" drives the ladies wild as well. It's a win/win/win 😁

We’ll do the second dinner. Maybe we’ll bond. As NC said, how bad can it be? My wife’s comment when fun dinner partners become suboptimal sex partners: “ We should have stopped at dinner.”

I’m sure you remember being a newbie. If they’re asking for a second chance, give it to ‘em. What’s the worst that can happen … you get a nice dinner out someplace? 😉

Well maybe the first meet was just an off night. They're new so maybe their jitters got the best of them. If you have the time and inclination then sure, why not? Nothing to lose, right?

I think his question is not is it cheating, but when can he trust himself not to feel it is. Solid honest introspection. Do not rush. A solid, bullet proof, relationship . You should know in your gut that she will never intentionally do you wrong. Forgiveness if something should pop up, and in some fashion it will. This will most likely all be in your head. To quote from above "Love, trust, and communication...can't have too much of any of the three."

Remember that nothing that happens while swinging constitutes cheating. You and your partner arrive together as a couple and leave together as a couple, and everything that happens in between is part of the adventure you both signed up for together. Discuss "the rules" amongst yourselves first, then discuss them again with your play partners before the action begins. Don't be too much of a stickler for the rules - it's normal for boundaries to be gently pushed but watch each other for signs of distress. Most - probably 95% - of swingers are the most patient, polite and understanding ppl you will ever meet. Like so many other "scary" things in life, once you're engaged in doing it you'll wonder what you were so scared about.

Okay, yoou're thinking wayyyyyyyy too much. Just go and try Swinging, No matter what, no crime, no foul. Instead you're allowing it to define so many aspects of your life, past, present and future. I'm sincere here, if I read your post first, no way would I fuck you. You're expecting wayyyyy too much from the experience. just go meet some nice people and fuck. Sheesh. I'm probably just having a day here.

Women talk more than the guys from my observation. I never laughed so hard listening to a group of women talking about the men in our group, including what they said about me, and making fun of the women in front of them. Talk about being raunchy and uncensored, the conversation was hysterical. The voyeur in me wanted to hear all the g/g talk. The best are the first time stories. Ask her what she says about you. if she is still talking to you she most likely has good things to say. I wish I was a fly on the wall listening to your conversation or share with us what you said. Keep talking.

For us, the experience was that after 17 years of monogamy, we discussed fantasies, desires and then the possibility of opening our marriage for nearly three years. Then, suddenly, the dam broke and we first engaged in foursome swapping, followed shortly thereafter with MFM threesomes. What's the 'best' way to get into the LifeStyle? Depends on the people involved . . .

Well it happened the opposite for me, It has brought back the spark between us and we enjoy playing and experiencing new things together

I remember one middle years lady at our club that pretty obviously enjoyed fucking and who would soak the sheets. A lot of the fun with her was helping change the sheets, she was such a gem!

Our poly family formed out of a combination of genuine social/ romantic interest and sex for its own sake, particularly me setting up my husband with my female friends and acquaintances just for our mutual three-way sexual pleasure. Our little bit of swinging outside the family has also been long-term and carried along by social interactions. All of this just to say that with the right people, sex can improve social interactions and social relationships can improve sex.

Because my wife has never played the bar pickup game, the rest of the survey is moot, so I stand mute.

We enjoy this game 😃 Weirdest time was when we played it in a bar in Santa Fe NM. A guy with a big cowboy hat approached my wife. It seemed to be going well until she waved me over to introduce me. I could see by his face it wasn't going to go well. He loudly berated us both as "sick" and stormed out. You could hear a pin drop and all eyes were on us lol