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Today makes 30 years for us being Married!

For my wife, like couplers she could vary the amount of time. The usual minimum was around ten minutes of either oral sex or intercourse. Yes, she was able to orgasm when a guy went down on her, in fact she almost always had her first orgasm of the session that way. I've sometime seen her have as many as six to ten orgasms in one go round with one guy. She could easily bring herself off by using her fingers and certainly with a dildo. But . . . . it didn't come naturally. She told me that when she was in college, even before she lost her virginity, she learned to masturbate. It took her a lot of time, a couple of years, until she got her masters in the subject. She said she practiced three or four times a week, and talked about it with a couple of her girlfriends and a professor's wife she made friends with - they gave her all kinds of invaluable tips. By the time I met her twelve years after that, she could make herself come by masturbation in just a couple of minutes. She told me once that the reason she usually didn't come as quickly with a guy is that she could concentrate only on herself when masturbating. But with a guy - particularly a new guy - she had to find a rhythm and connection with him, as well as being distracted by her surroundings. She also told me in her fifties that the orgasms weren't the objective but shared pleasure with the guy (especially including me) was what she was aiming for. The only times (very few of them) she didn't orgasm was when she was either feeling physical discomfort, or the guy wasn't willing to spend time pleasuring her.

How long depends on so many things. There are times it just doesn’t happen and it doesn’t always matter. I can have fun without having a partner help me reach an orgasm. To orgasm I need foreplay of lots of oral that is done in a way that not every partner can do. Great oral leads to an orgasm in less than 5 minutes, longer if only good oral. For me giving a great blow job is all I want to do. In my highly orgasmic years after oral it would take anywhere from 3-30 minutes and changes in positions. Toys are the fastest for me. In the right mood there is one toy that has me shaking in a minute, a real orgasm not the most satisfying one.

How long does it take you? I'm pretty good at controlling how fast I cum. If I know he's going to be quick, I can get over the top quickly by concentrating. If he's slow, I can work up to a second O. Do you orgasm from oral? Yes. I prefer another woman going down on me. Do toys by yourself work? Yes, but I haven't used my little thing since I started sex with people. Now when I'm away for business I use my fingers to hit the right spots. Do you squirt? I don't think so. If I do, it's only a little. What I do, however, is wet the bed, soak my pants sometimes (embarrassing) with pussy juice when I'm really excited.

I finally have a friend to discuss sex with. I always wondered if I was normal in how I reacted in bed never having the opportunity to discuss it with a girlfriend. I never talked about sex with my mother and my girl talk with friends was almost nonexistent. Finding a new friend through swinging I now have someone my age who I speak to openly about all things sex. Orgasms: How long does it take you? Do you always have orgasms? I recently bought sex toys that I use alone and I told her I sometimes orgasm quicker with a toy which brought up the topic of different toys. Suggestions from a number of posts led me to some great finds, thank you. She has much more experience with men as I only have been with a few. I figure I am lucky none of the men were too quick and all took their time with foreplay, I love oral. I often orgasm and more just from oral something not all woman do. Ladies: How long does it take you? Do you orgasm from oral? Do toys by yourself work? Do you squirt? I always thought it was a bladder problem. I’m so happy to have this friend.

Hi Stephan and welcome to the community! I know there are couples who like to play separately, but there are a couple things to watch out for. Mainly, there is a chance the other husband could be a little more aggressive than your newbie wife is comfortable with, and she won't have you there looking out for her. It has the potential of being bad. From our own personal experience, separate-room play is a little on the advanced side and is best done once you've gotten to know your play partners better through a little light swinging together first. By "light swinging" I mean there doesn't need to be any intercourse or even any oral - just a bit of touching then same-room "parallel" sex with your respective partners. Like, for example, if your wife is uncomfortable with the idea of you and another woman - but maybe she's a little bi-curious - perhaps she and the other wife can explore each other a little while the men watch. Believe me you will be turned on like crazy and then you can fuck your own wife while the other hubby fucks his. This is a fairly common approach with new couples and seems to make for a nice experience with the definite possibility of more next time around. Talk together about "the rules" you both have for getting started, and be sure to communicate them before with your play partners before playing. Take it slow and communicate every step of the way. And remember: You and your wife arrive together and leave together and nothing that happens while swinging constitutes cheating. As for how to start, while the online approach might look easier we have found it's a lot slower and harder than just checking out a swing club together. But we're kind of old school.

You are making an awful lot of assumptions for not knowing either of us. We have an amazing healthy sex life first of all. He's so much fun, we play a lot, and really enjoy each other in bed. Also this is not just about him. He wants to see me having sex with other men because he wants me pleasured in more ways than he can give me. I can only hope to aspire to the compersion I feel he has. Secondly he is not pushing me anymore. He did the first time around and it was an epic fail in his part. He realizes now that doing that will never allow an opportunity at this lifestyle. I'm sorry to say this but you sound very angry. I've given tidbits of my story and he is a good husband. He just got carried away. We are working through all of that. I'm not sure what else to say in response to what you've said because you have no idea how much he actually does respect me and how he shows me in other ways. Yes he got carried away...but he never got anything he wanted from doing it that way. Time will prove to me how serious he is as we go at a snails pace. He's agreed to do all the things I've asked including listening to podcasts and learning from them then talking about them. He's agreed to go to clubs with no expectations. I do not believe for one second he's cross a major boundary again because he knows it will be the end of our marriage. You are entitled to feel how you do about what you've read but you don't live within my marriage and just because he fucked up the first time does not mean he'll do it again. And if he does, I will walk away and that will allow him to find exactly what he's looking for. This is not just about him. He wants to do it together. He's made that very clear. He wants to watch me enjoy myself. That's the entire part that turns him on the most.

We had our first MMF in College before getting married.

We did go to our first swinger party last December. I wanted to continue to go, get to know people so I could get more comfortable. He shut down any further parties and said they were boring. He even told a couple we were chatting with that they weren't his thing. He said going forward we would only try to find couples online and I honestly was so angry. I ended up deleting every site we were on because I told him I would never do this that way. I can't do this that way. I'm not a "fuck on first meet" kinda girl. I need an emotional connection to the couple so I can build trust. Then we had a dinner arranged. I had cold feet because I absolutely did not want to have sex after a first dinner so I asked the couple how they felt about a few things. They were very kind and said they didn't really play in first dates usually anyways. Well he demanded after that convo that I had to tell them we are willing to fuck on a first date and I said absolutely not so at the last minute I canceled and said I was not ready. They were so gracious and said it was just going to be dinner which is all I wanted so my husband essentially ruined this for himself. A lot transpired between them and now. I even left for a while questioning our marriage as a whole because he is usually so amazing, a great husband, provider, father...everything but this made me feel unloved. But we started therapy together and I got therapy for myself. We've been working on things and he kept bringing it up and I said absolutely not after everything that's happened. BUT we've been doing so much better. He's grown as well and I can see positive changes in him. He has admitted to his failures and how he pushed way too hard. He promised it will be different this time but I'm still waiting for that heartfelt apology he promised me. Once he does that I can begin to heal and move forward because it truly is something I want to try.

At first when it was just David, Red and me, I couldn't stand the thought of either of them with another woman. I was and still am incredibly jealous. For me, it happened all at once. A girlfriend of mine and I were sort of talking about sex. Nothing explicit, but she said how attractive my husband David was, and how nice it must be sleeping with him. Without even thinking, the words came out of my mouth, "It can be arranged." I went home and told David that I wanted him to fuck her. He didn't complain and did. I didn't watch because she didn't want me to. It drove me crazy jealous (in a good way) and improved everything with my husband and things were good between me and her. I acted cool. So two things: I did it all at once and it was good, and it was under my control because I chose her (and the subsequent women). Some of them let me watch and/or participate. I still get jealous, but am now addicted to the feeling and how it enhances my relationships and sex.

And i am told by men and women that my other charms are even stranger.

yeah, but at the the does not matter that much. whar I really liked and made me horny was something else

Daniela loves talking to the wives of the men who she is having sex with in our closed group AND the women who I fuck. It is one of the aspects of our group she appreciates most. Before we met and married, Daniela used to have relationships with married men. One thing that she always required was meeting the guy's wife without her knowing their relationship. It was part of her kink about being the unknown third in their marriage. She always talked the wife up and tried to make the marriage better. That's another advantage of our closed, and close, group. We trust each other to watch the children so the others can play. We also socialize in the vanilla way that you describe. The kids love it and think nothing of it.

Been there, done that a number of times. To me it's a natural part of the lifestyle.

That's how we started. Daniela fucked two exes, separately, for a while then we started doing MFM as well, which was great, then we started couples swapping. I suggested it because before Daniela met me and we got married and became monogamous, she had quite a sex life and I could tell that she missed it. And some like mine were bi from the beginning.

Until you found the one who As did I. We are lucky.

Until you found the one who As did I. We are lucky.

Congratulations ! How long in the lifestyle.

Congratulations!!

Worry less about the time and more about enjoying the person you are with. It might take 3 minutes or 30 or maybe you won’t at all. Don’t time it.

Talk to your husband about you going first and him not playing. You start with a man of your choice in the manner you choose: your husband there or not there or just nearby; at a hotel or at your home; you describe every detail or say little of what happened; you do it once with the other guy or have a wild weekend. You get the picture. Believe me, after you get comfortable having sex with another man, enjoy it, and see what a wonderful, generous gift it is from your husband, (and how much pleasure he takes in your fun), you will be happy to do the same for him. You will beg him to join you in the adventure.

Still a fantasy is to fuck Gwen right after another guy has cum in her. So I guess the answer to the original question is yes.

I'm not that into it but I did it in our little playgroup last Friday night bc one of the wives really wanted DP. I much prefer vaginas but it was a dirty job and somebody had to do it.

I haven't specifically placed cum on my penis and then put it in my wife or a woman I've been playing with. But, I have had sex many times with my wife (and a few times with another woman) after another man has cum inside of her. I find it incredibly sexy. I love adding my own cum to another man's cum inside of my wife, and she loves it too.

Katrina here, we’ve done this twice in the last year. The sex is more personal, so much more engaged and intense. It’s like a fantasy respite. No concerns returning to my real life, at all. Yet for that four day weekend and one full week, I was never so thrilled to have another man’s lips upon mine, his hands over my flesh or cock cumming inside of me or down my throat. I was thrilled to have him, have me.

This is not about women, it’s mostly men’s fantasies.

I don’t want to put on a show or watch a show, I enjoy being made love to. I want my partner to pay attention to me without having to prove anything to an audience

What does it for me is watching either of "my" men or "my" women having sex, getting jealous over it, then doing it myself either one-on-one with a guy or FFM. But for me, when I'm having sex I don't want music, an audience (if you'd going to watch, be quiet), multiple men at once (except DP), or other distractions. When I get into it, I'm really into it.

We enjoy swapping. Most of our playing has been in separate rooms.

So I used to dance for a living, mostly naked and on a stage, but I got a lot of offers to do bachelor parties. One guy offered 4 other dancers and I $5,000 a piece to go with them to a shore house for a bachelors weekend. On the first night we performed and then the bachelor tipped me nicely and took me to his bedroom, and I fucked him. He came inside me so I went to go get my clothes which were still in the living room and then clean up but his brother caught me and asked me to join him. He tipped me and I said I just needed to clean up but he said it didn't matter and I fucked him. This happened two more times before I got back to my panties. It was running down my leg before I got in a shower.

Wow! We decided to take an afternoon off of work and go down to an adult theater about 30 minutes from our house... They have a few general theaters and a couples theater. We went to the couples theater first and we were the only ones in there. New experience for both of us! We played for about an hour while watching some great porn, then decided to go down to the regular theaters to see what they were like. Amazing how many single males were there on a Thursday afternoon! Anyhoo, I saw this gorgeous woman coming out of the bathroom as I was going in. When I came back out, she was still standing there so I said hello. Then hubby came out of the bathroom and her partner came up. We all said hello and decided to go scope out one of the general theaters. We went to a large couch in the back, all sat together but there were about 10 single males in there. I thought the idea of a few guys watching would be hot, but they were gawking. We decided after a few minutes to head over to the couples theater. We ended up swapping and all playing for over an hour in the theater. Such an amazing afternoon and so unexpected!!! Awesome first experience!!! We've had a bit of an SLS dry spell lately, so this was an awesome treat!

This is where swingers are poorly informed and in some denial. HSV-2 infects about 25% of all adults. It is likely a higher percentage in swingers. HSV-1 infects close to 60% of adults. Taken together herpes is the rule among adults, not the exception. That you haven't had an outbreak in years suggests your body has sequestered the virus and you are not infectious. Sure there is always a theoretical possibility of you being infectious, but a very small one. We've met more than one couple with cold sores visible and obviously infectious. No one should play when sores are present. The question of whether to announce your dormant infection is not an easy one. Most of the people you will play with have either HSV-1 or 2. Most of them don't know it. So should you be the one to announce you have it when most people do also? Only you can decide.