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That is exactly how I feel watching either of "my" men with Clair or Lora or another woman. Or watching Clair or Lora with one another, or another woman. The sting of jealousy, but do it again. At first I thought nothing could be better than having two men who loved me, fucked me, and were monogamous with me. And I liked the challenge of giving them everything they wanted. But sharing them heightened my desires and brought out my Lezzie side I would not have otherwise discovered. The first time a woman let me watch I kept thinking, "He's enjoying her so much, is she better than me? She enjoying him so much, does he feel the same to her as he does to me?" After they finished, I was compelled to take his limp dick in my mouth and taste her. Clair was the first to let me watch and lick my husband’s cum out of her. Both sides of playing are to be appreciated.

It’s remarkable how attitudes about (and potential consequences of) sex between people in business and other formal organizations have changed over the past few decades. And I would say for the better. I’ve come to understand that the power differentials in work relationships make for inherently unequal sexual/romantic relationships. When I was in college and grad school in the ‘60 & ‘70s sex between professors and students was commonplace. That was particularly the case for male faculty and female students, though in my case I dated a female senior faculty member. (It was interesting how gender affected perceptions. No one seemed to object much when the professor was male, my female professor took some stick from her colleagues and some of my classmates were a bit perturbed.) It wasn’t until the late ‘80s and early ‘90s that in my professional life I had subordinates. I didn’t play with colleagues generally, but one assistant and I experienced some unspoken but ongoing mutual sexual attraction. One afternoon, some time after she’d announced officially her intention to leave her job to back to school, she solicited sex with me. It was a very hot affair. Once or twice a week we would get a motel room and have sex after work before returning to our respective partners. Then we would meet again in the morning for sex before going to the office. I only had one other work-related affair, in the late ‘90s, with a woman who was temporarily assigned to the group I managed. It was a two-night stand on a work trip, facilitated by a business dinner with a lot of wine. She did note that if we were found out Inwould likely lose my job. (My then elderly assistant, who fraternallynl9ved me, clearly suspected something was going on. She was death on my colleague.) More than three decades after our brief business relationship we are still close. A few years later, after I’d left that company but was still close with many of my former colleagues, one (very cute but kinda obnoxious) female manager made the mistake of keeping on her computer desktop a folder of herself having sex with the woman who was then her secretary. An IT guy servicing her computer tried to blackmail her into servicing him. She turned the guy in to HR and he got fired. And then she got fired for having a sexual relationship with her subordinate,

I had a lovely assistant where we would fuck each other twice as much as we would with our respective spouses. Four times together and twice a week with our spouses. Our "continuing education" weekends were off the charts! We would swing together too. Yes I kept score.

my beautiful wife Tits has had over the years sex with many coworkers and Bosses. It was usually for a raise, promotions or because they had a big cock. Like I said she is beautiful and very flirty or at least would respond to being flirted with and she is very horney with men and women. She has had sex at work at lunch or after work. The one that confused me was her Boss Dave they went to lunch every day they would go thru a drive thru and then go back to worksite then park in back corner eat thier lunch then she would open her blouse so he could play with and suck her tits while she jacked him off. I asked her if he had a big cock she said no it was small but he have hers good hours and his wife. Had been sick for a long time and she felt sorry for him.

Petra, I’m a bit ashamed to admit that neither of our partners knew. We were cheating on them. I had to deal with guilt and I assume she did as well. My wife and I then had an informal ENM relationship, but the lack of openness troubled me. As I’ve noted in other posts my wife and I have had an explicitly ENM relationship for about 20 years now. It makes sex with others exciting, fulfilling and guilt free. 😊

My GF used to fool around with her boss all the time. At the time I didn't think much about it. I just thought it was hot and she would come back with some really hot stories. But it was incredibly risky. Obviously it was always more risky for him because she was his subordinate. It's obvious my GF loves that power dynamic. She used to always phrase it like "he made me." So, if I asked about what happened today, she would say "my boss made me blow him twice today." Or if I asked why she's late, she would say "my boss got hard and made me stay late so he could fuck me." I think they both really got off on the power dynamics as she liked being the submissive subordinate and he liked being the dominate supervisor. The weird part is, people knew and didn't care. Originally they were very quiet about it. But as time went on it become almost impossible to hide. There were extreme close encounters during actual work hours when she was in the office with him. Even after hours a guy came back to the office to pick something up and they were able to hide but she said he definitely heard noises and were able to identify them because of their cars outside. But my GF also loved that kind of risky play too where they could get caught (and they were flat out caught on a couple of occasions). This was a really fun experience for her.

Our first LS experience was an MFM 3sum and, while it's very common for men to have erection problems at first, I had the opposite problem. I got too excited and finished in about 30 seconds. The terms of the 3sum were that my wife (then girlfriend) would only perform oral on him, but my lackluster performance caused us to change plans. It takes me a while to recover, so I spent the remainder of that encounter watching the other guy expertly fuck my wife to orgasm. That was a bit of a mindfuck but we still enjoyed the experience enough to continue and I didn't experience erection issues until our first MFMF experience a couple months later during our first visit to a swing club 😀 It doesn't always play out the way you hope but hang in there!

The above advice about not having an erection is excellent. There's a common misconception that guys can get hard anytime, anywhere, for any length of time, for any reason, like our pensises are on-demand switches we can do with as we will. It's not like that. We're humans. Sometimes things can overwhelm us. Sometimes we're stressed. Sometimes something is so new it's too much to handle. This is perfectly normal, and is in no way a reflection on you, nor your interest level in having threesomes. The first time my wife and I played with another couple (a soft swap), I had trouble getting and maintaining an erection. The woman I was playing with was wonderful in every respect. That first time was a real struggle. We got to play with the same couple again about a month later. I got hard and stayed hard that time, no issues at all.

true but seeing it occur between your wife and another man is very exciting

I know what you mean, but on the other hand it seems so natural. It's what two humans are supposed to do, that's what those body parts are for.

As a woman, it's a treat to watch one of my guys with his dick in one pussy while he's eating another. As a bi woman, my favorite situation is FFM with me in the middle getting cum ejaculated into my vag while licking it out of hers. Perfect.

It's not just that men enjoy seeing their women with other men but most LS wives enjoy seeing their men with other women too. That's at least half the thrill for us. But with men being slightly more visual creatures, I do think the guys get a slightly bigger thrill from watching than the ladies do. It's just so delightfully naughty to see your partner perform intimate acts with others 😛

This quote right here from one of my favourite contributors to this forum that unfortunately told me they were leaving a while back when a troll was running rampant here for too long nails it for me! It is super sexy watching her passionately working over a cock with her beautiful mouth and it is easier to appreciate the visual when it is being done to someone else.

My wife is very, very skilled orally and to some extent has 'ruined' blowjobs for me as I've been spoiled and it's quite difficult for others to bring me to climax orally--only a few in the lifestyle have. Watching her perform is a sight to behold--it's extremely erotic seeing her fixated on the task, enjoying the process and looking watching the face of her partner as she's sucking out his soul. It's also very hot to see how another man responds to your treatment, losing their cool, speaking in choppier sentences, almost overwhelmed. Watching videos of my wife sucking other men is probably my most frequented porn.

There is a lot going on here.... First the Newness. As SwingerGirl and others have said. Often we feel twinges of things for someone because the situation is new and exciting. The sex was awesome and you couldn't stop thinking about wanting more of it so you broke your own rule in the first place by contacting her and giving her your # and beginning communication outside of the sex. It was at that point that you knew something was different and that was you first chance to put a stop to things and back-up and really think about what was going on. Then you started talking with her outside of sex and you realized you had so much in common and you really connected on an intellectual and emotional level that you've felt like you were missing with your wife. THIS is the biggest for me. I've long held that cheating has nothing to do with sex (I'm not saying you are cheating, just hear me out), cheating whether emotional or sexual is about something missing at home. In this case you have been missing a certain connection with your wife. You didn't say what but it sounds like there have been some issues you've been dealing with on your own (probably work related) that you just haven't felt like you could really share with your wife because she wouldn't "get it" since she's not there. However, Becca works in the same industry and understands better what you deal with on a day to day basis so you feel like you can share some of this with her. It's made you feel better about whatever that situation is and in the process has bonded you with her on a level that you haven't bonded with your wife. The upside of this situation is that you may not have to cheat because your wife (wonderful woman that she is) has given you the opportunity to see what will happen. Where I am seeing #2 is with your obvious unhappiness about not being able to see Becca outside of your foursome, and I'm sensing resentment towards Rob for not wanting to allow it. Rob has many reasons not to allow it and not a single reason to allow it. Not the least of which is that his wife hasn't been nearly as upfront and honest with him as you've been with your wife. Keep in mind that while you have a handle on your own relationship and you know that your communication is awesome and even better because of all of this, that may not be the case with them. There may be underlying issues within their relationship and this connection to you may be a symptom of those as much as a real connection. At this point, I'd agree with Rob that the best thing for everyone is for you two ONLY to see each other within the confines of your foursome (at least for now). Time will show one of 3 things happen.... 1. The newness will wear off and things will cool between you and Becca. 2. This will develop into a comfortable little poly situation. 3. One or both of your relationships will break up as a result of this (not necessarily because of this... but because of whatever this might show to be a symptom of).

Thanks all for your responses and input. I’ve had many of these same thoughts myself. Let me see it I can clear up some things for you all give this situation a little more transparency. To LFM2: What does Rob really know? He knows mine and Becca's feelings run deep. I’m certain he knows this because he and Angie have talked about it. Angie wanted to make sure Rob knew because she did not want to be put in an uncomfortable situation where she had to guard what she was saying. I did not want that for Angie either and asked Becca to inform Rob, which she did. What she has not told him is that we have used the L word with each other. When we realized there was a strong physical attraction we both liked it. That’s why we didn’t stop. Don’t you enjoy having sex with people you find physically attractive? Isn’t that what swinging is about? I don’t mean to be flip, but I like having sex with attractive people. Why didn’t stop after the second night? I don’t know. I guess again, because we all like each other and the sex with Becca is really good. I admit, I was/am also enjoying the emotional connection I feel with her. We will not be going against Robs wishes. I respect and like the guy and I’m not about asking anyone to lie. You talked about the whole truth, and I suppose she has not told him the whole truth. That her emotions run more deeply than she has told him. This is a good point and it’s something I need to ponder on. It’s interesting that you think I’m disrespecting Angie and Rob here. I honestly feel that I’m communicating better with Angie now than in the past-and we’ve been pretty open throughout our whole relationship. I guess I disagree with you on that one-but maybe this point needs some more reflection from me. As far as disrespecting Rob-yes, he is not in the loop on everything. This is an issue for me and it needs addressed. Yes, I am acting like a hormonal teenager. Believe me I thought that many times throughout this whole situation. And I have had these feelings for Angie. I still do. I’m finding however that Becca is providing me with emotional support that Angie is unable or unwilling to provide me. Thanks for your input Holly. To Mr and Mrs V.: Sorry. Angie and I have been swinging for several years and this is the first time something like this has happened to us. We are talking a lot and working through it. To mauijanedoe: You said Becca and I are not a unit. You are 100% correct. This is another fact I’ve been trying to wrap my head around. One of the things I’ve told Becca is that we do not belong to each other. I belong with Angie and she belongs with Rob. Rob has no incentive to make opportunities for Becca and I to be together without he and Angie present, I understand and respect this. Don’t like it, but respect it. To swingergirl: No disrespect taken, it’s a fair question, how is my love for my wife. We have evolved into a calm, respectful partnership of keeping house and raising kids. We have both made a lifelong commitment to each other that we both intend to honor. Do we give each other butterflies in the stomach anymore? No we do not. But she is the love of my life. I miss her during the day and enjoy our intimacy during family/alone time. I can’t help but wonder if part of the attraction to Becca is the newness of the relationship and the joy of discovering that someone else finds me interesting, desiralbe and sexy. To coupleerotic22: See my last paragraph to LFM2 and swingergirl. Ultimately, Angie is my life partner but I feel I am getting different things emotionally from Angie and Becca. For Fundamental Law: Just to clear up any confusion, Rob knows there are feelings between Becca and I. He’s aware that it’s more than “just sex” between she and I. It’s just sex between Rob and Angie. You are right though, a further conversation between the four of us is probably long overdue. To Visexual: Thanks! You may be right that this is just an infatuation, I have considered this possibility. I know what my heart feels, and I know what my head thinks. I’m still trying to work out the differences between the two. To all: So here is what I think I need to do. I need to make sure Becca levels with Rob about the extent of our feelings and let the chips fall where they may. If he insists that we end it, so be it. I think the thing that has been bothering me the most is that Rob is not completely up-to-date on were Becca and I are. I shall close my novella now. Thanks all for your attention to my issue. I will keep you current.

If you were married to Becca, would you want to swing with Rob and Angie? I'm guessing that you would. You have great chemistry with Angie too and you like Rob. And, from what you wrote, Rob and Becca love each other too. I think it's just that infatuation we all have for a new lover and it will level out when you and Becca quit dwelling on it. All four of you need to level with Rob and just enjoy the fact that you and Becca have something special between you. It happens! And, I agree with 'Swingergirl', there's really nothing any more wrong with loving a friend of the opposite sex than there is loving a buddy or other family member.

The probability of drama seems very high. For one, Rob is still somewhat in the dark because Becca is being less than honest with him. Never a good thing, particularly with swinging couples. Second, both you and Becca continued to pursue each other even after you both realized there were emotions growing beyond what was safe. If both couples had been seeking poly relationships, then that is one thing, but neither couple appears to have been in that place mentally. I have had lusty attachments where I really like playing with a certain women, but nothing emotionally beyond friendship. If I had started having deeper feelings I would have told my wife as you did, but I would have insisted we stop seeing that couple, regardless of what my wife said. Finally, you call Becca your rock, what does that make Angie? In what kind of situation are placing both yours and her children? Becca's husband is being displaced from his relationship. Do you really need us to tell you there there is drama coming down the road? Really?

I personally don't think there is anything "wrong" with being in love with two people at the same time. Although, I'm not sure if that is the case. I don't want to be disrespectful by asking this, but how is your love for your wife? I know you mentioned that you won't leave her, but that doesn't always amount to love. Again, no disrespect, I just want to make sure I understand My advice would be to stop all one on one communication with Becca until everyone is on the same page. Rob has a right to know exactly how deep this goes. Without that, there will just be more drama than anyone wants to deal with. I can't tell you what you guys should do after that. That is up to how everyone feels about the situation. Speaking to the topic and not your specific situation, I would have to say that this is something that every person- swinger or not- could potentially encounter. I personally do not believe that anyone should ever consider themselves or their partner "safe" from falling in love with someone else. One true love for every person? No, I don't believe it. No, I'm not polyamorous (yet?), I am just simply trying to convey that I do not think this a "swinger issue". I don't think being a swinger puts you at any more "risk" of falling in love with multiple people than being vanilla does.

Oh geez I'm brand new to this and just exploring the boards and this quite possible the LAST thing I needed to read! I have been the one bringing up this lifestyle to my s/o... If I brought him to this LS for just a little extra fun and this is what the result was... ugh it just makes nauseous reading this