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As with most seemingly simple questions, the answers are rather more complex. There are really two questions here. The first, how long do couples keep swinging, admits to a range of answers. Some never try it, some try it once, some are off and on, some see it as a hobby, some see it as part of their identity as a couple. Longevity in the LS generally means one of the last three categories. If you have met one couple, you have met one couple, which explains the two questions--how did you start in the LS and (more often implied than posed) what keeps you here? The second, about 55+. Passion has no expiration date. The question becomes why is there attrition at 55+? More often than not, it's for health reasons, or for loss of interest by one or the other partner. It's usually not because there is a problem with the relationship. Marriage specifically and relationships generally have an arc; there's plenty of literature on this. What we do not see in older couples long in the LS is a threat of "grey divorce"--they are generally happy with themselves, happy with each other, happy in their relationship. We know plenty of couples who were in sexless or otherwise unhappy first (and even second) relationships who seem quite happy and content to be in the LS with their current (and often final) relationship. We'll add that older couples in the LS tend to look after each other and make sure that health and wellness are prioritized. What does tend to change with age is the character of LS behaviors. The excitement of finding the next couple wears thinner, and many older couples have people they know well, have travelled with or encounter in groups and so on. The reason is that in the seventh and eighth decades of life (60s and 70s) there is a natural tendency to simplify and declutter life. The awareness that at least 2/3 of life is past triggers a focus on "what matters to us". Usually it is not NSA sex but rather sustaining and deepening relationships. You are not "late to the party", but it does beg the question "what has happened that has catalyzed curiosity and interest now?"

Age is not a barrier to having an active role in the lifestyle. A friend of mine, sadly no longer living, for a couple of decades organized with her husband (and after his death by herself) sex parties that attracted people from their 30s up through their 60s and in some cases significantly older. If you are breathing and reasonably healthy there’s no reason you shouldn’t be enjoying partnered sex into your 90s. (My brother-in-law walked in on my 85-year-old mom and her 92-year-old boyfriend engaged in missionary intercourse.) I’ve posted elsewhere on the board that about ten years ago, when I was in my mid-60s, at a party I played with a couple in their mid-80s. (They celebrated their marriage in the late 1940s by hosting an orgy on their wedding night.) I’m in a longterm ENM marriage and regularly play with one couples in their late 50s / early 60s and another who are in their 40s.

I'm over 55 and my wife will be there in a couple of years. We still go to 'normal' swing clubs. They take all ages 😃

Last friday night, my girlfriend Paula and I had sex with another couple! WOOHOO! Now, that might not be a big deal to most of you guys, but it is to me. I was in a very openly sexy triad with two women for 20 years, until one wife left us five years ago and my other wife passed away 18 months later. Since November of 2015, I have been a relationship with a lovely, sexy lady who was vanilla but very swing-curious. I decided early on that I was not going to push her into anything. The preceeding four years had been hell on me, and I was not about to screw up a wonderful, lustful relationship by asking for more. Paula liked to talk about other partners a lot, perhaps even a bit fascinated by the idea. We invented group sex fantasies together while having sex, which she found a big turn-on, but I was suspicious that it would remain just talk. Then, last week, Paula got a call from an old friend of hers. He he had been, at various times in her life, both a lover and a platonic friend, but he'd since moved away and married. Paula had previously identified him as someone she might be interested in swinging with. He called to say that he and his wife would be in town for a couple of days, and could we all meet for dinner? We agreed and met at an Italian resturant across town, near their hotel. I was meeting them for the frist time, so Paula took the driver's seat. She brought up my triad past and steered the conversation to things sexual, even reminding her friend about some of their sexual encounters. His wife responded with humor and curiousity, not offense. The wine kept flowing, and the other couple became more open about sharing their own sexual liberality, recounting some tales of same-room sex and some exhibitionistic encounters. By the time it was time to leave the resturant, Paula said we probably were not in a proper state to drive home, and should get a room at the hotel (even though I really don't drink and had only had one glass of wine!). "That is," she went on to say, "if you think separate rooms would be best." The guy immediately looked at his wife eagerly, and she agreed. Following them to the hotel, Paula couldn't shut up. She was so excited, she took off her hose and panties in the car. Once we got to the room, the guy's wife immediately started taking her blouse off. From there on, there was no awkwardness, no crossed signals. We were all there to fuck one other and we all knew it. We guys first got blow jobs from our own partners, then at her friend's suggestion, the girls took turns licking each other's pussies. It was Paula's first time! We eventually took turns penetrating both ladies. (Yes, we used condoms with the other guy's girl.) We didn't end up staying overnight. About midnight, Paula and I decided to head for home. Paula thought it was about the hottest thing she's ever done and says she wants to find a way to do it again. A day or two later she asked me, "Are you really not jealous about me wanting another guy's cock?" I said it truly didn't bother me in the least. She said that was incredibly freeing, and that I might have created a sex monster. I can only hope, right?

So...I'm now single. Probably not too unexpected, huh? Most of you could see the writing on the wall, I suppose. But surprisingly, she didn't leave me for the other guy - it was for a career opportunity. At least, that's what she claims. She was offered a job out of state that she says came out of the blue, though I suspect that in reality she went hunting for it. In any case, she said she wanted to take this next step in life on her own, and I said okay. To be truthful, I'm glad she didn't ask me to go: Not only did I feel her behavior was really straining my affections, but I have developed a really special friendship with my adult son (and his family) that as his father I probably don't deserve. There's simply no way I would move away from them and give that up. I think it will be good for me to be on my own , too. Not forever, but let's say "indefinitely." I have all these pieces of a personality...I'm not sure which ones are innate parts of me, and which are leftover junk some woman hung on me over the years. So, I sit writing this alone in a house with outdoor patio furniture in the living room and one bedroom completely empty. And for the first time in my life, the quiet doesn't feel bad or wrong. I don't feel incomplete. As part of that, I plan to stop fucking...for a while at least. Since before I was of legal age, I've ether been in a full-on physical relationship with a girl, or I was actively chasing after my next sex partner - both simultaneously at a few points along the way. I've been celibate three times as an adult: first while I was on a one-year assignment overseas (but with lots of three-way phone sex to make up for it, so that doesn't really count), then for a few months after my first marriage fell apart, and finally during most of my second wife's 10-month cancer battle. All of these were thrust upon my against my will. I have never, ever, voluntarily NOT sought pussy. At 47 years old, I think it's time to re-center a bit and get to know myself more before I go get distracted chasing skirts again. So this is where I will end my involvement with Swingers Board. I spent some time this evening reading back through nearly every post I've made here, including the early ones my first wife actually wrote most of. Frankly, a lot of it makes me cringe. So I'm going to say goodbye to this record of my past and not look back. Y'all hang tough and be excellent to each other.

I also started at that other roller coaster of a thread. WOW!!!!! Your life would make an interesting movie. The denny's bathroom hooker story just about had me wanting to put a gun in my own mouth!!!!!! I will keep reading your story. Hopefully no one else dies. Good luck! edit: Just noticed there hasn't been a post in well over a year. Hope all is well.

Hearing a woman get enthused about something like this is such a turn-on, in my opinion. I'm really glad this went well for you, and congratulations to her on playing with another female!

Can you all deal with another update? I figure this one deserved a new thread of its own... First Group Sex in Four Years!

Since Econobiker recently "liked" my last post, I'll take a few minutes to update you on my love life: I have a new woman in my life. She's not poly or a swinger, but she's not dead set against it, perhaps even a bit curious. We met because I acquired a small boat. A co-worker was looking to get rid of his father's 45-year-old runabout. I agreed to take it sort of on a whim. I figured it would be good to have a project to keep me busy and my grandkids might enjoy it. Since I can't store a boat at my apartment complex, I had to rent space at a storage unit. The boat hadn't been used in years and getting it "ship shape" required lots of little repairs and plenty of cleaning, so I was over there every other day or so for a couple of weeks, freezing my ass off in the process. The woman who runs the place told me that I was welcome to step inside the back door to the office to warm up whenever I wanted. I got friendly with her. I learned that she had divorced young and raised two daughters on her own. I simplified my story and simply said I was recently widowed and had two grown kids. She began to flirt with me, asking if I was going to take her out for a ride in the boat when the weather warmed up. I finally asked her to dinner, and that night told her about my triad past. I was somewhat nervous about it, but she took it in stride. She asked lots of practical questions about the logistics of such an arrangement, including some rather frank questions about our intimate life. She was very comfortable discussing my sex life, unflustered by talk of our many threesomes, my wife's love of sex toys and how much I enjoyed watching lesbian sex. On the other hand, she was conspicuously unwilling to share many details of her own sexual experiences. She did say something about sex partners that I thought was very profound: being monogamous is a lot like eating a low-fat, high-fiber diet: it is definitely good for you, but you can get most of the benefits and still indulge yourself once in a while. I thought that was fantastic, and told me quite a lot about her mindset. It was still a bit surprising when she invited me back to her place afterwards and made love to me. We began a very passionate physical relationship. She's a sexy, hedonistic lover who is very willing to experiment in bed (and elsewhere!) She is fun company and our emotional attachment is growing as well. She has opened up and shared with me quite a bit about her sexual preferences and past partners (which I have had to assure her I find very hot and erotic). We currently see each other 3-5 times a week and talk and text every day. We've talked about where this relationship is going, and we both agree it is much too soon to tell, but we're both all in for the ride.

Another update on my sex life, another year later...to presume that anybody cares at this point. Anyways, I kind of nose-dived last fall. I discovered that a small strip club outside of town provided "extras" to generous tippers, so I started regularly driving an hour each way to get quick, overpriced hand jobs from stoned, heavily tattooed girls half my age. That just left me feeling more and more depressed. Then, one Friday night, I sunk even lower. I impulsively picked up a random hooker who propositioned me in a theater parking lot as I was leaving a movie. I had to go by an ATM. On the way, I asked her if she had a condom, and she said, "Yeah, but you don't have to use one if you don't want." From that point on, I realized that the whole thing was a colossally stupid mistake, but for some reason I went through with it. She took me to a Long John Silvers nearby and we did it in the restroom. I have to tell you, it was the most horrible, soul-destroying experience--paying more money than I ever want to admit to for sex in a dirty toilet with a woman who couldn't even feign enjoyment of any part of it beyond taking my money. I went home and just sobbed. I hated myself, hated life, hated having any libido at all. I kind of holed up alone for a while after that, resigned to a sex life consisting of jacking off to Internet porn and old videos I'd filmed with my two previous wives. Fortunately, two things turned me around in an amazing way. First, my son, who had been living about 200 miles away, moved less than 10 minutes from me. Having loving family nearby makes a huge difference. We go out for pizza together, I go over and help him bleed the brakes on his wife's car. Sharing that sort of everyday stuff feels wonderful. The fact that they might stop by my place makes me keep my carpet vacuumed. Secondly, I was in Lowe's one Saturday afternoon about four months ago, when a woman asked me what was involved in replacing her old ceiling fan. She was a middle-aged hippy chick in a flowered wrap skirt, sandals, and a spaghetti tank with obviously no bra under it. Objectively speaking, her face and body were typical for 40-something, but I was immediately turned on by her. First of all, I'm a breast man and any woman who puts nice swaying hangers and prominent pokies on display like that will always get my undivided attention. Secondly, she was very relaxed and genuine, with a warm, fun smile that lit up her face. We talked for a bit and I offered to come over and install her ceiling fan in exchange for dinner. She agreed and by 9PM that night, the new fan was whirring over her living room and I was lying back on her sofa with her lips on my cock. I spent the night and our fucking was full of laughter and pleasure and life...exactly the opposite of my prior encounter. I called her up a few times after that, but we never seemed to connect in same way. So, I've let it go and chalked it up to two very different life trajectories happening to cross at one point in time. So, I am back to being on my own, but that one night lifted the black cloud off me and my life. I have joined a couple of online dating sites, and even though nothing meaningful (or physical) has come of it yet, for some reason the future seems brighter because of one beautiful one-night stand.

I can't believe it has been 2-1/2 YEARS since I last logged onto this site. I will update things in case anyone is still interested, but unfortunately there is nothing sexy about the story to tell. Anna came down with what we thought was a lingering cold or bronchitis in the fall of 2012, but which developed into a constant cough and shortness of breath by the first of the year. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in late January 2013. This was despite only smoking for a couple of years as a teenager (although she did grow up in a house with parents who smoked.) The next ten months were a hell I don't think I could endure again in this life. Anna passed away a week before Thanksgiving last year. She fought incredibly hard, and never was anything other than the gentle, loving soul she always was, even when she was in pain and facing death. Her last words to me were "I'm fine, you get some rest." What a classy lady. Just to close out the history of our triad, Kari did come visit us twice during Anna's cancer battle, once with her partner. Anna and Kari reconciled for the most part, but Anna said to me after her last visit with Kari that while she no longer felt angry or hurt, she was still totally bewildered how the Kari we knew so intimately for so long could suddenly change into such a completely different person. Kari and her partner moved to the Space Coast region in Florida and after Anna's funeral they invited me, our two kids and Anna's daughter down for Christmas. It was a very kind, truly needed gesture. We spent a week together down there as a family and as hard as it was to celebrate the holidays without Anna, being with those who knew and loved us most helped me get through it. Kari and I had a couple of long, late-night private conversations and were able to really reconnect and build a solid, positive new connection. She apologized for the way she treated Anna and me. Kari did truly love Anna, and she and I still love each other deeply. We're just not partners or lovers anymore.

Hey guys! We are in the Lubbock area and noticed your posts. Just wanted to drop a line and say "hi!" Are you guys on SDC or SLS or another site? If so let us know your user name. Ours is the same on all the sites as on here: allaboutthemrs. Take care, Steve and Cindy

Since several people said they wanted me to keep this thread updated, I want to let you know that Anna and I DID spend Thanksgiving week sailing from Cancun to Roatan island, off the coast of Honduras. It couldn't have been better for us as individuals, as a couple, or simply as pleasure-seeking humans. Anna has lost almost 20 pounds since my ex-wife broke up our threesome, and lightened and shortened her hair. We text, phone or skype at least every couple of days, so I thought I knew what to expect, but ohhhh man, nothing could have prepared me for seeing her in person. I've always thought she was sexy looking, but SCHWING! Even fully dressed, what a hot, curvy mama! We're talkin' MILF to the MAX! I wanted to lay her right there at the airport gate, but we managed to wait until we got back to the hotel. It was physically sexy and emotionally comforting, excitingly fresh and familiar at the same time. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. The next day, we and four other couples set sail with Captain Bernardo and his wife Evie on their 21-meter ketch. The trip was mind-blowingly erotic. It was officially described as just "clothing optional, couples only" but we knew from my best friend, who had sailed with them previously, that this was a descreet understatement. Not only did all the passengers start getting naked immediately, and remain so nearly the whole time (except for cool mornings and several periods of light rain), but there was lots of sexy behavior, including couples fucking openly on deck (yes, including us) and a designated "orgy cabin" down below (we mostly just popped in to watch and visit). We were even treated to some naughty behavior by the crew! But as wonderful as the sex was, this trip was about much more than that. Even though she looked like a whole different girl, Anna and I discovered that we are as comfortable with each other as we ever have been, perhaps more. We talked a lot about where the break-up has brought us, what it has taught us, where we want to be, and what role we want each other to play in our lives. The final result is that by the time we split up in the Houston airport, we'd made plans for Anna to come stay with me after the first of the year...to start a job search here. We're not sure what our relationship is going to be (friends? lovers? housemates? partners? ...maybe even spouses?) But we know we want to be together. I have to go get ready for work now! I've spent too long writing this, and I woke up late to start with...because I stayed up too late watching Anna play with her pussy on Skype. Welp, I think it's safe for me to start calling myself "the luckiest guy in the world" again!