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With the couples who we swing with some we started as sex partners and became friends, some started as friends and became play partners and with a few we have developed romantic feelings and become lovers. So many in the lifestyle avoid that final step but my wife and I have reveled in it. We both have joyously return home, or been returned to, after a deeply intimate, loving time with another. It takes marriage to a whole other level.

I separate swinging and swapping. Swinging is sex for sex without attachment of enjoying being with a partner. Swinging is detached sex. Swapping is much more intimate sex. There are those who will take exception when I say swapping is making love with your partner. I’ve been told love is not a healthy function of the lifestyle, I disagree. I enjoy making love which is not the same as being in love. Alone with a partner is not rushed sex, it is touching and kissing and even talking without any outside pressure.

That the way it just seems to be. I thought I was totally straight, but what flipped the switch for me was watching my husband David having sex with Clair, one of the few in our early days who let me watch her with David. I vividly remember still my feelings after he ejaculated in her and seeing his cum in her pussy, my urge to kiss her pussy and get it out of her with my mouth. Clair started out totally Lesbian before she became bi, so she was up for it. I was eager, but needed a few lessons before knowing how to be on the giving end of cunnilingus.

I recently answered a post stating my #1 sexual thought was a 25 year old. Let me clear up that thought. If I am just looking for sex I want someone younger, good looking and quickly hard. If I am looking to have a fun night I enjoy a few friends who I can relate to who also enjoys us. Swinging is as much social as sexual. Sex for sex is Sex.

Do tell. Were either of you in the lifestyle when you met? If not, who brought up the topic? How did it make you feel? Thanks.

Joan and I are still at it. A few of the things I cooked up recently: I had her do oral on me, fucked her anally, fingered her pussy some then took her home to get satisfied by her husband. Had "angry sex" where I yelled, cursed and belittled her as I fucked her. I made sure that ended the "angry" show before we separated. Had Joan eat another guy's cum out of my wife's pussy as I fucked Joan. Pissed on Joan before fucking her. Had four other guys from our closed group show up surprising her and all having sex with her, dick in cunt, one after the other. She had to pull our names to see who went next. I always debrief Joan the next day or so and she liked it all. I used to call her husband to tell him beforehand to tell him what the plan was, but he doesn't want to hear it. He is extremely grateful to me however, for taking this on. Now I only call him to let him know if part of the plan is to take Joan home excited and unsatisfied and that he will have follow-up work to do.

One woman in our group is mostly a pillow princess, but the other wives love going down on her, to prove a point I guess. Daniela is both sexually and romantically attracted to women. For some reason especially to women whose husbands she plays with. She likes to be the intermediary between the two. That was one of her, many, motivations for before we got serious having relationships with married men whose wives didn't know, she felt like she was dating and having a relationship with the wife as well, buying gifts for him to give to her, suggesting romantic gestures, etc.

Many times when I back off, I stop moving inside her and just feel my penis against her vaginal wall. It's very subtle, but enjoyable for me. I can keep still for two or three minutes just pulsing/stiffening my dick by contracting muscles until the urge to thrust again becomes an imperative. I'm in no way a Zen guy, but this is sublime.

That really would open up a whole lot of freedom for us to enjoy ourselves!

Pretty much the same here @Numex Thankfully when I met my wife we had both been through relationships with ppl who had incompatible sexual appetites and we both knew we needed a bit of sexual adventure in our lives. Neither one of us would have fared well married to jealous, possessive people. By the time my wife and I got married we were active members at a swing club, and already had several mfm and mfmf experiences together. So if my wife slept with my best man before our wedding I would likely have admonished her for her poor timing, then probably would have suggested ongoing 3sums with him. Dead serious.

In my limited experience, I would say that around a quarter of women are to some degree bisexual, and half of them are full-on pussy eaters. That comes from the time when I was setting up my husband David with my female friends and acquaintances. That's how we met Clair and Lora. In our family, Clair started her sex life as exclusively Lesbian, until she decided that she liked men and dick shortly before playing with David. Lora was more straight, but had sex with girls in college. Both of these women were part of the one-quarter who let me watch them with David, which turned me on to wanting to eat and reclaim his cum out of her. I liked it.

Yes, men should, in addition to being open minded about women who are "sluts," is if the relationship is getting serious (or even if you’re already married) is to allow and encourage your lady to play around while remaining monogamous yourself. Show her your generosity and the fun side of sex. Men, keep in mind that a woman, your woman, unlike a man is capable of having sex with someone else then performing and giving you perfect satisfaction. And it is wonderful.

This statement is extremely profound! My nonswinging friends are in the other boat as many men who are husbands know. Their wives are indifferent about sex and that is the worst. Even after pleading with them to hear their husbands, to hear the sex therapists, to hear the sex advice shouted practically everywhere, to hear me, they often brush it off as if to say, "My man is a good man, he will never leave me/us (the kids/family), he is happy, we schedule sex once ever few months (but seldom/if ever follow through), he loves me & us, we are comfortable." See how sad indifference is? They have their heads so far, well you understand, they can't see because of it. Our couples are wonderful examples of - you'd rather have a wife that likes sex to much - as we wives embrace frequent bi sex with multiple trusted friends the increase of sex has been multiplied in each of our marriages. For me, the more sex we have the more I want with my husband, as well as with our friends.

I explored more. During the lockdown we talked about what are we going to do being together 24/7. I can’t remember what brought up swinging it was Rocky started searching swinger sites I think. He found a couple where the woman was bi and asked me if I could do it. What I remember was sex with no kissing because of Covid. Rocky and I were excited to do this, secretly I was scared like hell. Looking back I don’t know how I did it but I am happy I did. Why not?

We've never encountered this situation. Daniela has been with girls since she was a girl and first became sexually active. All of the women that we have played with since becoming a couple have been bi to some degree, like being eaten out by a woman but not eating other women.

Life has many paths with some roads leading back to the starting line. Eight years ago I spent a night with a college friend and her boyfriend after a snowstorm at a football game. Plenty has happened to me since that night, engagement, learning some friends were swingers, getting married, an open marriage, a pregnancy that was terminated, a divorce, an abusive relationship and lots and lots of therapy. My life returned to what some call normal, dating men and occasional women. That original friend married, not the boyfriend I knew, had disappeared from my life and now reemerged. Not the scene of the crime she called and asked if I wanted to join her and her husband to the football game at our school. Reluctant to be “used” and anxious to feel free, I agreed. I found out another sorority sister my ex and I had played with had also married, a guy I never met, were also going to the game. The hardest part was reliving my last few years, I only gave an abbreviated retelling. With that all told both of the husbands couldn’t have been sweeter to me.

Younger is not always better, something I experienced at a party. I won’t say he was 25 he was attractive enough just not that great sexually.

Thank you for kind words. I never left “here”, I would check in from time to time holding off posting. Without contributing I was able to read posts from a different perspective wondering what was real and what was fantasy. I am pretty sure I know. There are a number of members who have given me support, I have even allowed myself to open up to one very special couple. Several years ago we met them, they knew about my original problem and gave me full support. I just found it easier to talk to an older woman, about 20 years older telling her things I had a hard time explaining to my friends. It is her who said I should come back here to post my thoughts. She understands that I need to clear my head without direct contact, a healthy way to express my thoughts even though I do see a professional. I am finally feeling healthy enough to regain my life and enjoy that life again. Thank you for your support.

I would call it Lesbian before I experienced it and when I did it was hard to accept that I enjoyed. After many same sex experiences I now call it sex just like sex with a man. Other than the obvious act I can only have with a man the sex with a woman is just as fulfilling.

The above sentence struck a chord in me. Of all the developments in my sexual journey, the most surprising and powerful was discovering my Lesbian side. Especially as we women had children together, the bond became so strong among us.

Thank you for still being around. You're part of our community, and we would sorely miss you. We're all in your corner, and cheering for you!

We did go to our first swinger party last December. I wanted to continue to go, get to know people so I could get more comfortable. He shut down any further parties and said they were boring. He even told a couple we were chatting with that they weren't his thing. He said going forward we would only try to find couples online and I honestly was so angry. I ended up deleting every site we were on because I told him I would never do this that way. I can't do this that way. I'm not a "fuck on first meet" kinda girl. I need an emotional connection to the couple so I can build trust. Then we had a dinner arranged. I had cold feet because I absolutely did not want to have sex after a first dinner so I asked the couple how they felt about a few things. They were very kind and said they didn't really play in first dates usually anyways. Well he demanded after that convo that I had to tell them we are willing to fuck on a first date and I said absolutely not so at the last minute I canceled and said I was not ready. They were so gracious and said it was just going to be dinner which is all I wanted so my husband essentially ruined this for himself. A lot transpired between them and now. I even left for a while questioning our marriage as a whole because he is usually so amazing, a great husband, provider, father...everything but this made me feel unloved. But we started therapy together and I got therapy for myself. We've been working on things and he kept bringing it up and I said absolutely not after everything that's happened. BUT we've been doing so much better. He's grown as well and I can see positive changes in him. He has admitted to his failures and how he pushed way too hard. He promised it will be different this time but I'm still waiting for that heartfelt apology he promised me. Once he does that I can begin to heal and move forward because it truly is something I want to try.

At first when it was just David, Red and me, I couldn't stand the thought of either of them with another woman. I was and still am incredibly jealous. For me, it happened all at once. A girlfriend of mine and I were sort of talking about sex. Nothing explicit, but she said how attractive my husband David was, and how nice it must be sleeping with him. Without even thinking, the words came out of my mouth, "It can be arranged." I went home and told David that I wanted him to fuck her. He didn't complain and did. I didn't watch because she didn't want me to. It drove me crazy jealous (in a good way) and improved everything with my husband and things were good between me and her. I acted cool. So two things: I did it all at once and it was good, and it was under my control because I chose her (and the subsequent women). Some of them let me watch and/or participate. I still get jealous, but am now addicted to the feeling and how it enhances my relationships and sex.

REALLY?? I never would 've thunk it!! You do realize that is part of your charm.

Some women, like me in the beginning, have no interest in sex with another woman. What turned me on to my Lesbian side was actually watching my husband have sex with another woman then wanting to get my cum back. Out of her vagina. With my mouth. I'm strange I guess.

The lyric : Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused

Definitely I would start licking her butt and see where that went.

For my part, I would have done everything I could think of to pleasure her. Some people would take what she said as a sign that she wanted to give herself up to the person's desires. That doesn't work for me. To me, sex is a mutual thing.

Neither us women nor the men are interested in male-male play, but we women regularly engage in Lesbian activities; we women find it physically and emotionally fulfilling, while the men are amused, turned-on, or whatever. Why? I don't know. But in my experience it is common, even among vanilla people who might talk about about extracurricular sexual activities, but never engage in it. In my mind, puzzling sex questions go back to what is evolutionarily beneficial: two women licking each other or finger fucking doesn't waste any reproductive resources (eggs), while guys sucking each other off or whatever dumps sperm somewhere where it isn't going to make a baby. So males with bisexual tendencies are less likely to reproduce and carry on that characteristic, while bisexual women aren't so reproductively disadvantaged.

I've never encountered it, but would think, "Hey, stop that, it's mine to suck and fuck." OTOH, I expect the guys to share pussy with me.

Hello ladies, I'm a poster who's just wandering back to the forum after a great while. Only recently (last year) have my spouse Red and I realized that cuckquean is a descriptive term for her interaction with swinging once we met up. She also likes watching me with other women but not necessarily participating even though she is bisexual. We always termed it as her being a voyeur to my activities but cuckquean is a better term. Red also doesn't get into the humiliation or submissive part of cuckquean lifestyle. That said, when we co-hosted swingers parties, there was more than ample opportunity for me to be with other women without Red needing to be involved in the planning process other than for her to okay to me the women I'd be able to play with. It actually was more like that she'd tell me about one or two women among regulars who she DIDN'T want me to be with and blanket okay any new women who attended. This would lead to me and another lady playing with Red, fully clothed, popping her head in the room, standing in the door way, or alongside the bed. There might also have been the woman's husband watching or participating so making it more of a MFM but Red was(is) never expected to be involved. And , yes, one time the pajama wearing Red woke up to the both completely naked me and the younger lady sleeping in the same king size bed as her. Hearing Red wake up and say " Well Hello!" to the other woman next to me was one of the best things I've ever seen or heard. Another time I was with another couple (all three naked) with Red clothed sitting in a chair at the end of the bed serving as my fluffer with her mouth while the husband fucked his wife on the bed in front of us. Once the husband pulled out of his wife without finishing and rolled to the side, I then condomed up and mounted the wife while Red and the husband watched us two fuck away right in front of them. I guess that I am saying that the cuckquean women of cuckquean couples could spin it as her being voyeur primarily without the cuckquean terminology involved. And going to events and parties is probably a better resource to meeting up with women than one on one via website. You will have to be explicit with couples that you, the female partner, will not be playing at all but will be watching the two or three others play. One thing that I do want to stress about our cuckquean activities is that Red is/ was always rewarded with more loving than the other women who I played with. She usually received her attention later that evening or early morning next day. I wanted to post this to encourage you cuckquean women that you are not weird about this and that you can achieve your desires with the help and understanding of an open minded and loving male partner.

I am now the same as you, enjoying my husband with another woman. The first time was difficult for me, even though I had a boyfriend for two years at that point. And the first several wouldn't let me participate or even watch. Copying from a previous post of mine: Unicorns are out there you just need charm, luck and patience. I snapped when a girlfriend of mine said she thought my husband must be fun in bed and I said "That could be arranged." She took me up on it and I learned to love the jealousy. This first friend didn't let me watch, but we all enjoyed the experiences in our own ways. It ended when she got serious with her boyfriend and couldn't see screwing my husband any longer. But we went out with them as a couple (I don't know if she ever told him) and we remain friends with her and her husband, a different guy (who does know). Both hubby and I enjoyed the way things had gone (and at this point I wanted another "jealousy" fix), so I brought another woman, an acquaintance, more closely into our life. I went to lunch and shopping with her, then introduced her to my husband. We "dated" her together, we took her to dinner, the theater, and on vacations, which we paid for. I left her alone with hubby from time to time to show that I had no problem with them being together. It went nowhere sexually, but the fantasies between hubby and I were breathtaking - for him, me describing her body from the few times that I saw her undressed; for me, the fantasy images of them screwing. We still got together from time-to-time for a few years afterwards with no expectations of sex until she moved away. We repeated the dating pattern with fifteen or so more women, and four took us up on the invitation to have sex with hubby. One other didn't want me present, and I respected that; the other three not only let me watch but either immediately or eventually had a Lesbian relationship with me as well. (My second great sexual awaking). One of the women was Clair, with whom both hubby and I became sexually and romantically involved. Clair joined us along with my boyfriend Red to turn our strange ménage à trois into a poly family (especially when Clair became pregnant and had our first child, with me closely behind). Of all the women that we "dated," none have expressed any regrets or animosity towards us. We were looking for relationships, and found them whether it led to sex or not. We are on good terms with all of the women who we are still in contact with. You have to be generous, kind and enjoy wherever it goes. We spent time and money on women who I befriended, but ultimatley had no interest in having sex with either of us. We created opportunites for her but never, ever pushed or made her feel that she owed us. It was all fun; even the ones who had no sexual interest in us fueled some fantastic fantasies. The woman who you are looking for is out there; be nice and generous. And enjoy interacting with people whether it leads to sex or not.