Leaderboard

Well, how you tell someone is everything. If she made no suggestions or provided no insights and THEN explained the experience wasn't so great, well, a sex partner has every right to be at least disappointed in the news. Or, the one time things went poorly I did say,"I think I had an off night". In the moment, let the other person off easily. Then, you can control the narrative with a mind that's more clear. Also, the experience is less' fresh' emotionally. One a personal note: Now here's an extreme situation. I realize weight can be a huge issue and difficult for people to resolve. Wonderful couple. The wife was gorgeous. He was handsome a few pounds ago. I admit to having some extra liquid courage in me at that Club. When we declined he was a bit assertive as to reasons. We never give reasons, and don't expect them, even if we're declined. And I said, to my husband's horror, "You get to the gym lose 25 pounds and your in. Literally." We saw them two months later, he had lost 30 pounds and tightened up his body a smidgen, too. His quite joyful wife said,"He couldn't have done this without you". I walked up to her, gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and then went to him and said,"I'm a girl of my word. If you still want me, you can have me". The sex was amazing for all concerned. Again, weight is a bitch to control.

Katrina here. Rules, or not. Boundaries, or not. You play with the fringes of sex and sometimes your 'nose' gets 'bloodied'. Sometimes you orgasm like you never have before. Other times you get 'fucked into next week'. Other times, you get all of that. Rules, while in the throes of sexual passion are pretty dang foolish. You can have them, yet.... You learn from broken rules, you don't get depressed over it. His greatest fears became real. You agreed to 'terms and conditions' that he should never have asked for in the first place. Meanwhile, when you know you're doing something wrong and still do it, that's not nice either. We've always had sex with a 'no crime, no foul' point of view. Inaction , lack of transparency and lack of trust placed yourself here. Forgive each other, be grownups and move forward. No one died. You learned a few things. Being a stay at home mom is a noble pursuit. Yet, if he's endangering his health, that's not how you do that successfully. Frankly as a mother and wife, the fact you have any time for fringe sexual pursuits, tells me that perhaps you're lacking focus . He needs to get healthy, you need to be Mom and you both need to focus on your marriage for a while. As far as the,"Oh, I didn't get to explore sex when I was younger ." Well boo-hoo-hoo. You cannot change the past and you cannot focus on the present while craving the past. There's a nifty movie called Eyes Wide Shut. It's about a marriage. The husband is craving a place of sexual adventure and fringe experimentation. What he doesn't know, until later, is that his wife came from that 'place' and now wanted the family and marriage they had. In the end, they both return to their marriage. Not by regretting anything, yet valuing what they were in the present. Forgive each other. Move forward. Be transparent to each other. Perhaps get a really good marriage counselor where you're honest. And, once again, for you, some other guys cock is not going to make things better. I finish this as a woman who occasionally enjoys sex with others. I enjoy it a lot. My sex partners, including my dearest husband, seem to feel the same way. Yet, if it stopped tomorrow, so it goes. Because, it's not the woman who can have one hundred lovers, it's the woman who can make love to one lover, one hundred different ways.

Oh my. Katrina here. He's singing opera,"Me Me Me Meeeeeee". You can do better. So much better. There a fine line from being 'understanding'. to being a 'doormat'. We first swung at a Club. Our rule was to accept whatever happened,"no crime, no foul'. The hosts introduced us to this great couple. We full swapped. My husband had a great time. He also noticed that, with the other man, that I just had the best sex of my life. It was true. We used that to enhance and improve our relationship. It worked for us. We were both on an endorphin high that night and actually played with two more couples. Nothing like willing sex parents. Anyway, if there had been any jealousy, we simply would have stopped. If he had placed boundaries on me, that were unequal, either we'd have stopped Playing or concluded the relationship. When people use sex as a form of control it never works out. My husband and I Play because it's fun. If it were because of some 'need' we might get checked. Manic conditions can drive people to a whole pile of foolish things. You want someone who adores you and is sexually happy for you (and everything else). When I have had sex with another man, and when Alex is there, he has flatteringly said,"It's like watching Art fuck." How wonderful is that ? Lastly, Dating is to learn if you're compatible. Then, when you learn you're not, it's easier to move on before there's a marriage and family involved. One last thing, it's sometimes called 'no strings attached sex' because it's been made into a 'web'. When that's the case, you likely need to move on .

We discussed condom use before we met others online. Prior to our first swing my only sex was with my husband and we never used a condom so we bought some and tried it at home. We laughed about the whole thing trying to roll it on. I can’t say it felt different, it was more a mood breaker. Since meeting others we aren’t using even if we know it’s riskier. One poster on here states she enjoys knowing something is swimming in her, I enjoy the feeling of a man squirting just like I know the men enjoy me squirting. Is it a physical or psychological feeling of the man unloading or is it the after when I enjoy the wife licking it up. It’s all part of the fun we are having.

I certainly don't judge you on M/M contact (bi-oral myself) but this statement is confusing to me... You are not sexually interested in men, but took turns fucking one another in the ass so that your wives could laugh and make fun of you??? What am I missing?

Yes, there is the legal consideration, but I think the emotional considerations are larger. If the relationship continues with this couple, how will you feel when you find the child is causing trouble in school, or they are disciplining your child in a way with which you are not comfortable? If you lose contact with the couple, how do you feel knowing that you have another son or daughter with whom you have no contact. Genetics can be a stronger bond than some people think.

When we first started, we only had a few chance encounters with random people, so definitely condoms were a must. We're now in a group with just another couple, and an occasional single woman, and we all agreed to go without condoms. The single woman aspect is tricky since she is not with us all the time, but we feel she's been honest about her sex life, and she tests frequently. We've only recently started experimenting with the husbands and cum. Personally I love being cum on, and especially love it when my husband is still going after the other hubby cums on me. But sloppy seconds is a newfound joy! And my husband, who was very, very shy about touching any fluids in the beginning, has loved the sloppy 2nds, and also enjoyed eating creampies or off my boobs. Of course I don't judge him for that, in fact it's a huge turn on for me that he has dropped his inhibitions, and will try anything that he thinks turns me on. Great viscous circle! He does lose his desire to eat/play with cum after he has cum, which is understandable, although a bit of a double standard. There are many times when I'm "done" but continue to play, for the fun of it for me, and also for everyone involved. To each their own, and it's been my experience that our tastes and desires change the more experiences we have in the lifestyle.

We usually use condom unless it is a safe period. Here is an audio session we recorded a while ago. Our friend cum inside first and then I took over. My wife didn't wipe it out before I started. We knew each other very well so we are comfortable on this. If it is someone who we barely know, we won't. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c6ACN22c6Voj77IMPkKaVT-st9kGjfvM/view?usp=sharing

I feel as though I can be aggressive flat on my back, legs spread and wide open making him do most of the work. It's in the attitude.

It was luck and driving a hard bargain, if he wasn't willing and capable of licking/finger fucking me to orgasm, I stopped sucking him off. In retrospect what would have been better is if I had discovered my Lesbian side at this point in my life and played in that world. What I got nothing in return for was the several guys I let into my bum hole. Other than a mess and pestering to do it again. Only one of them went down on me good and got to return. The nice thing about getting on bc and p-in-v sex is the mutuality of the orgasms and satisfaction.

We're still at it with Joe and Shan in different combinations and permutations. Fun. The only interesting development is to Joe liking to see Shannon being taken by David and Red. Shannon’s turned that around a little bit and rather than David and Red taking her hard and treating her like a slut, Shan is now the aggressive one. She'll play the "I need it, need it bad" and grab at them, pull their clothes off, yank on their dicks, spread her lips and show her hole(s). All while ignoring Joe. It may seem like a subtle difference, but it's taken Joe to another level. (I'm hoping it's all good.) David thought he knew what pushed Joe’s buttons, but Shan understands better.

OK, this is me and I need to respond. I was fourteen. She wasn’t a friend’s mom or teacher, but a friend of the family, recently divorced. There were many opportunities for me to be alone at her house and she came on to me, and although I was uncertain on how to respond to keep it moving along, I didn’t resist or protest as she put my hand on her breasts or her hand on my dick. I wasn’t scarred for life, but it did have effects on me. First, it really hit me how a woman her age, late thirties, was different from the girls that I had explored. Compared to girls my age, the differences were astounding. Her pubic hair was choppy and course, her breasts drooped to the sides and her nipples were large and dark. After two kids, her labia was extended, her vagina open and accommodating. The physical maturity was striking to me. Second, for the three years while I was having sex with her it put me off from girls my age. Why settle for a feel, a hand job, maybe a blowjob, a finger inside her pussy when I could have a blowjob, a fuck, another blowjob with her finger in my ass, and throw those tits around all I wanted? Third, it did emotionally hurt me whenever she wasn’t responsive or put me off, even temporarily; and I knew she was fucking guys who were prospects for a more serious, permanent relationship. The normal early teenage petting and mutual masturbation didn’t leave me with the emotional attachment that regular fucking, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, I did with her. Fourth, when we broke it off and I got back into the sex game with girls my age, I felt better, and better for the experience. It didn’t leave me with an older woman fetish but an appreciation for women as they matured. I married my ex-wife and we were the same age, mid-twenties, but the images of my mature lover when I was a teenager, kept me excited for my wife as she grew older, had kids and matured. I grew back into that excitement. Fifth and finally, my ex and I divorced after twenty years and I married Daniela who is twenty-five years younger than me. There’s definitely something to be said for a young body, a young pussy but I find extra satisfaction now with the women around my age in our group of swinging couples. I have “her” to thank for that.

while I believe that statement is generally true when it's older men and teenage girls, I feel that it's less true when it's older women and teenage boys. My sarcasm didn't come through on the written page, but that was my point. I've never heard a story of a teenage boy complaining about an early sexual experience.

I may be old fashioned, and while I believe that statement is generally true when it's older men and teenage girls, I feel that it's less true when it's older women and teenage boys. As a teenager I was a walking raging hormone and would have absolutely gone for it. I know I would have. In my early 20s I hooked up a few times with women in their 40s - even briefly dated one. I welcomed the experience they brought. So different from the girls my age. Although some teenage boys may be scarred i am pretty certain that wouldn't have been me. Admittedly, I can't know for sure bc, despite my teenage sexual fantasies, I never had a hot mom or teacher really come on to me.

I think your plan B is better. Look for sex partners and if a friendship evolves, good for you. I think you have already deduced that having a four way match between two couples is rare. Another idea is to go to a swingers’ event, such as a house party, hotel party or club. You find a woman you want to play with, your wife finds a man she wants to play with and they don’t have to be a couple. As you get more experience, you will brush off bad experiences and learn from them. You already seem sensitive not to hurt people’s feelings, which is good skill not always present in this hobby.

Most swing clubs have stripper poles and every night at a swing club is amateur night.

It's pretty safe to ditch condoms if you are only playing with very few (like 2 to 3) partners in a closed circle. My circle consists only of 2 widows in their 60s and an elderly couple, all of whom I play with separately. As the other man has lost much of his libido and has erection problems, he doesn't always enter his wife in every encounter and whenever he does so, his thrusting is shallow and he doesn't last long and seldom cum. So I am basically the guy who does the bulk of the penetrations, thrusting and cumming. The thing about women who have passed their fertile age is that they tend to prefer bareback sex and creampies. I guess this is the norm for them when they have sex with their husbands, so they just continue doing so in their later years.

Did you birth children vaginally? I had two come out the way they went in and I worried about being stretched out. All signs are that I snapped back ok, no complaints, guys cum ok, two fingers in from Clair or Lora feels just as good to me.

Hey Newcoupleontheblock! Welcome! You're in the right place! So there's a bit to untangle here. First, I agree that if you start out with a condom and it slips off, that out of consideration you should be getting another condom on before continuing. I certainly would do that. In the very least, if I thought of continuing without a condom, I would ask the lady in question how she wanted to proceed. On the other hand, the other couple was told "no boundaries". This could have been interpreted as no condoms being ok. Still, if you start with condoms, you end with condoms unless otherwise told. Second, yeah it was likely a mistake to shift gears into overdrive in the middle of things when you expected it to be a no-swap night. Usually (not always, but usually) it's a bad idea to do that. Feelings can get hurt, misunderstandings happen, and undermining of trust can start being a problem even when it's not intentional. Next time, I recommend you set out the boundaries for the evening before getting to a club or meeting a couple. Don't change the boundaries for the evening. If you're in the lifestyle long enough, the boundaries usually evaporate so down the road it's not an issue. Right now it is (and that's ok) so don't flex them without being removed from the situation. That's my advice. Third, I would caution you about reacting to this situation based on things that have happened in your past. I know we are products of our experiences. But, it isn't fair to your partner to judge what she's done based on how another woman from your past acted. There's no possible way she can stay clear of all potential problems based on what was inflicted on you in the past. Love her, explain to her, and tell her you don't judge her on that and know that you're going to react emotionally but that you're working to make that the past, and not the now. Whether or not this couple is in the past is hard to judge. Only you (and your partner) can judge that. But, if you had a good time with them, that's a treasure to have. It'd be interesting to hear their perspective (though of course we can't know). It's great that you otherwise had a great time! It's just that boundaries got smashed and expectations not met. Don't treat this as a massive boulder that smashed into your car. It's a bump in the road. Take some time to digest, talk with your partner, build love and move on.

No, I don't think it's strange. It does suggest to me that you're starting to overthink and worry about that part of things. Here's an important truth... you will never know what that first experience will be like until you do it and when you do it, it will probably be nothing like what you imagine. You can't prepare yourself or plan out the specific details of that moment, not the least because there will be at least three other humans involved (your wife and the other couple) over whom you have no control. It's important not to try. One hard thing I learned early in my swinging life is that the more you go with predetermined expectations, the more likely you are to be disappointed and/or upset when the moment fails to met them (as it will). So, what I'm saying here is - stop stressing over the details of this. Enjoy the fantasy. Enjoy the deep conversations you and your wife are sharing. If that moment comes when you the plunge, put the fantasy and the planning aside, and just relax and have fun. Because that is the point of all of this... to have fun together.

Well my first time was way back before I was in the Lifestyle. She was a big Star and saw her at one of the Bookstore Theaters by The University I attended. where she was a feature guest. Talked to her and her husband but nothing happen. About 6 weeks later she was a feature guest at the hometown theater. They were suppose to have a ride back to their hotel and it was a no show. So being the gentleman I am offered them a ride and the rest was MFM History. But now I have the pleasure to play with a porn star every time I go to the club and so do many of the guest who attend as the Mrs. is now a porn star on 2 DVD's.

I am still to new to know what most of our mistakes are, but I wanted to add We have changed our profile 7 times now.

I tried it twice, with two different men on several occasions, both oral and anal, both receiving and giving to orgasm/ejaculation. Not because I wanted to, I wasn't interested at all, but because my wife and the other guys' wives pushed it and we wanted to make them happy. They did enjoy it in a non-sexual way, smirking and laughing at us. Never again.