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Do others talk to the other wives you have played with? We are still new to swinging and learning how to communicate with others during and after meeting others. There are a few on here that have reached out to me privately giving advice on how to proceed meeting others. When reading the public and private messages I take into account the ages and wisdom that comes with age and take the advice seriously. One gentleman wrote that we should not rush to meet so many so quickly, we should enjoy making relationships with like minded people. Another wrote that I should enjoy my new found sexuality, but warned me about users and crazies. She also recommended building relationships. I was also warned of STI and worse. What I love is most writers are my parents age or older and are still active. I also enjoy the opportunity to share our limited experiences and my feelings which I do as if they were my age. This weekend we took a step back with someone we met for sex the weekend before. We met them for three hours with sex as the only reason, we needed to get home to our children. Our time with them was great for us and Timmy and I both thought we wanted to meet them again. Problem is we both have younger children that need sitters. With trying to build a friendship we decided that the families could spend a purely platonic family day together. Children are precious and no sex would be discussed. We met their family for Putt Putt golf and pizza. The kids had a great time together which led to extending the day to include a fair about an hour away. With two cars, the men drove the kids, I got to drive with my new friend alone for that hour. It was the first time other than the first couple we met on our vacation that I got to have an honest open exchange with a wife my age. It was funny how alike we are sexually and physically. They are way more experienced than we are but almost all the meetings are with a type. She opened that not all meetings were fun and not once did anyone want to meet socially. She was amazed about my life and virgin bride status. She asked if I was sorry I did that, I shrugged. We had plenty of laughs about sex and family life. I needed this, time to ask questions and make a friend who I hope I can trust. Night ended with the kids, now friends, having fun at the fair with more junk food and rides. Nobody got sick. I know this is all so quick and will change over time, do others ever get to make friends they can open up to with inner feelings. Maybe I scared her away and she thinks I’m nuts with all the questions, if not I look forward to a broad relationship with them.

I just wanted to take a moment and appreciate the amazing, good fortune I have, being married to a beautiful, caring, intelligent, and adventurous woman, and how much this lifestyle has changed our lives for the better. Our tight 4some group recently added a single woman, and while us guys were all in favor, the women took a little time to make sure it was right. Only 2 encounters with her so far, but they've been mind blowing for all. I'm amazed at how different we all can be. My wife is thin, attractive, has big boobs...the other two women have completely different shapes, and are very attractive in their own way. My wife is a squirter, the newest addition has creamy orgasms. The other man in the equation is a gentleman, classy, caring and handsome. We're both straight, but neither one is afraid of, or makes it awkward when there's touching between us, and I have been a recent convert to cum play and "sloppy seconds" - A few years ago, most of these were fantasies for me, jerking off, watching porn when my wife wasn't home. Now it's a reality and I feel so blessed. My wife's horizons have been expanded to not only being bi, but leaning into the fantasies of our women partners. One has a panty fetish, wanting other women to wear her panties out to dinner or parties. The other has to receive oral in order to orgasm. My wife, who used to be closed off whenever the topic of conversation got too hot, is now openly talking about all sorts of fantasies and new experiences with me, and goes shopping and to drinks with her 2 new friends. I don't know what my point is with this post, except only to show appreciation. Feel free to share what makes you happy about your S/O and the lifestyle, or just appreciate the post for what it is. Peace

Today makes 30 years for us being Married!

Do her a favor. Leave. She can not change her past. You are not ready to handle it.

Years ago in college I spent a night with a new girl I just met. She was really hot if I remember doing everything I dreamed up and every position she thought up. With her on top I was watching her face and then she started calling Jesus, then Oh Jesus, the screaming Fucking Jesus as we both came. Afterwards we were cuddling in afterglow I laughed and asked her, Aren’t you Jewish? I’ve told this story many times in my life each time I picture her face as she was screaming.

That's a wonderful opportunity you had! And I'm so glad you have the opportunity to talk with her one on one, without the distraction of sex getting in the way. Our first couple experiences were happenstance, and total strangers - before and after our night in bed with them. We then went to a swingers club, which was nerve wracking and scary, but ended up being fun. Now we are fortunate to have found another couple who we play with exclusively, and have become very close friends with. We still have not mixed them in with our "vanilla" friends, but it's nice to know I can call her up and go shopping, or just talk over coffee or whatever. Those types of friendships are very important to me, but when we first started down this path, I thought I would have a very hard time talking over coffee with someone I went down on the night before, and whose husband has seen and felt every part of me, inside and out : ) But somehow, life is life, and sex is sex!

I tend to think if the wives can get along socially then a lasting FWB friendship is possible. I don't mean to generalize, but it has always seemed the men get along easily but the women - not as easily.

One couple my wife and I enjoy swinging with was a Christian couple we met several years back, and still swinging with to this day. They were in their late 30s, and were consistent churchgoers. Long story short, we actually met them a swingers club. Whenever they invite us over for sex, they would usually ask us to come over for "bible study", of course my wife and I knew what that meant. Now they have kids, just like us, so they obviously had to drop them off at one of their relatives or friends place, before we do the "bible study". Yes, we did read and study some parts of the bible at their place, but it wasn't very long. What we liked about it was that we were always nude when studying with them. After studying, we finally get to having sex with them. Personally, I found it sexy when the Christian wife was praying quietly in my ear while I was penetrating her. If it was a Saturday, we spend the night with them, and they invite us to go to church with them the next morning.

Something that has gotten me extra excited in the past, and more so recently, is while I am watching my wife Daniela have intercourse with someone else, is when the man cups and manipulates her breast or breasts. Watching my dear wife fucking another guy is nice, I am glad she's having fun, but it seems just normal to me. But regardless of their position: missionary, doggy or cowgirl, when his hand(s) reach for and grasps her breast(s), it awakens something in me and takes it to another level. Especially doggy when her breasts are swaying and he reaches around her body and under to hold them. Anyone the same or can psychoanalize me?

Congratulations 👏👏 In November we will celebrate our 40 Years Mariage and 35 Years lifestyle. 😀

She didn’t change the subject during the course of the drive and remained a full participant in the conversation. So it seems unlikely she was put off. I would say you have had the very good fortune of having found someone with whom you can have a friendship that includes great sex. Hopefully your husband and hers have similar feelings. Did you check with yours? (While I have enjoyed playing with singles and couples at parties where I never did quite get even first their names Ann never saw them again, I much prefer ongoing multi-dimensional relationships with play partners. The most satisfying are friendships where we can enjoy a date that may or may not include sex.

Years ago I had a semi-romance with a longtime platonic friend in Central Florida. At the time she was a post-doc and lived in a trailer with no a/c. It was so hot and humid. To be able to sleep at all when I was visiting her in July or August I had be nude and on top of the sheets. But I also have an indelible memory of fucking sitting up, with her straddling my legs, facing me. She had (actually, still does) a lithe body, but big firm natural breasts. I remember her thrusting on my cock, with rivulets of sweat running in the valley between her boobs. It’s a treasured memory, but I definitely prefer indoor sex in more temperate conditions.

I personally think a woman's body is especially sexy when she's a little sweaty and sticky - the way one gets on a hot summer night.

My wife is the Picasso of hand jobs. When other men have trouble reaching an orgasm, I tell her to pull out her secret weapon to bring things to a conclusion. Works everytime, like Colt 45. I can think of two couples in the recent past who asked to play with us again and I attribute it to the guys looking for that handjob.

I understand the not doing it close to home and with strangers. If it doesn’t go well no one will know. Separate rooms is how we started, separate cabins on a cruise and I am thankful for that. I was free to enjoy sex with another man while not worrying if my husband was jealous or if I would be jealous watching him with another woman. I made love to another man for the first time pleasing each other without restraint. He didn’t need to prove anything to my husband or his wife. To this day years later I think of that night as the best swinging experience. If you read my original posts you will read the first time I saw my husband in bed with the other wife I wasn’t happy and the sex in front of them that first time was not as enjoyable. I got over that and we have sex either way now, same or separate, I still prefer separate.

We take a different approach to the lifestyle. We'll find potential matches via the website. We'll exchange texts/chat, emails, maybe talk on the phone. If we seem like a match, we meet up for a lite dinner/hors d'oeuvre with the expectation of playing. Due to work, family, etc we don't have the opportunity to get out for multiple meet-ups. If we did the whole first meet, second meet....we'd end up 6 months out without doing anything. And we'd be out multiple dinners, multiple nights with babysitters, etc. That approach doesn't work for us.

Katrina here, we’ve done this twice in the last year. The sex is more personal, so much more engaged and intense. It’s like a fantasy respite. No concerns returning to my real life, at all. Yet for that four day weekend and one full week, I was never so thrilled to have another man’s lips upon mine, his hands over my flesh or cock cumming inside of me or down my throat. I was thrilled to have him, have me.

Timmy said they got along perfectly. Having 4 kids in the SUV with them the talk better have been tame with kids always hearing things they shouldn’t. I asked Timmy what they spoke about, sports mostly, music, Olympics, and in his very descriptive way Stuff. I knew they had to talk about me, what did he say? He said I had a great ass lol. Not in front of the kids? NO! Timmy made a great point, would they want to spend a day with us if they didn’t click. Good point. Timmy asked what two sexy women spoke about. Don’t you love that question. I know he wanted to know the sex talk. I teased him saying we didn’t talk about him or her husband, just girl talk. Her husband loved my squirting, something that I always thought was a negative. We talked about lesbian sex, we don’t need men. Again teasing Timmy. FWB needs all to get along. She told me they met others where she didn’t like the man which killed any chance of another meeting. In their relationship she has control and final say.

Remember when I said not to make the mistakes we did letting good matches get away because we were looking for the next thrill. Alan used to say we were looking for Strange thinking it would be different. Different isn’t always better or even good. Sounds like you found a friend, keep them. You are young and strange will always be there if you want it.

We STRONGLY believe in having FWB...with the friends part coming first. It's GREAT having someone else you can talk to...about ANYTHING (including sex). The only thing you have to be careful with is remembering that you can't talk to all of your friends about anything (especially sex). Stop overthinking and enjoy the ride...

It took my husband even longer, but once he saw all I was willing to do and how much fun it was, step by step along with me gave in. We absolutely have no regrets! The more the merrier these days and we definitely do get our big sex drives well fulfilled. Worth all time and patience it took.

For us it was time. It took time. As others have said, be patient, take your time, have fun taking things very slow, enjoy the journey. I was not at all looking to be with other women. I am crazy about bi male sex and sharing that experience with my husband. I had to give a little to get a lot, over time I got used to being right there with other women, more and more happened. Other women can teach you things you never knew you didn't know. I perform oral better than ever thanks to doing it with other women (and men) so of course we wound up in interesting situations. I do know when cum is involved, kissing other people, wherever that is (mouth, pussy, breasts, penis, balls, sometimes is a blur. I get all caught up in the heat of the moment. Addictions can do that to a person I suppose. I let what happens, happens, and the flow works itself out. It took my husband even longer, but once he saw all I was willing to do and how much fun it was step by step along with me gave in. We absolutely have no regrets!

Bringing my play-partners to ecstasy is what I find more enjoyable in the lifestyle; I have never had any problems handling male orgasms in my mouth, cum is a reward for a well-done job.

It seems to me you may be at a cusp in the LifeStyle. Assuming your husband would like to play with her, he is being careful about your feelings. And he is to be commended for that. Now, assuming you really don't mind if he plays with her without you participating, you may choose to encourage him. This will open up your relationship to soloing, which is simply another flavor. If you have that talk, and he decides to have fun without you, then when/if you decide you'd like to play without him present, he should be willing to allow you this boon. On the other hand, if this is a step either he or you don't wish to take, then you'll still be having fun in foursomes or the other flavors you're already participating in, right?

He is interested but thinks it's a bad idea. I'm sure he figures that, despite your permission, this is likely to land him in trouble. That's what I would think.

Christian couples are wild! The bible belt is home for some of the wildest swinger parties I have ever been in.

Interesting. We are Christian but have not done Bible Study with swinging

As we are now learning that the vanilla part is important to our family. We are able to share friendship and the kids have new friends. We even met their friends that will become our friends.

Unfortunately, I have some news for you. After much consideration and analysis, I've come to the conclusion that you suffer an incurable condition; you enjoy watching your wife having her breasts played with while she's fucking another man. There it is. Tough diagnosis, I know. There's no cure. But, you can help things along and 'normalize' it by allowing to happen as much as possible. Please follow your doctor's orders. It will be for the breast...ahem, I mean...best, I assure you.

It was about last Thanksgiving or Christmas that I started to develop a real curiosity to know what a woman experiences when sucking a cock. My wife has given oral to a handful of other women, so she knows what it’s like to perform on both genders … I want the same knowledge. I have no idea whether I’ll like it or not, but I’m determined to try it! We’ve been actively looking for the right man to enjoy a 3some that will include MMF. So I guess that yes, I’ve moved from straight to bi curious. After I finally get that experience, I’ll have to either go back to calling myself straight or drop the curious part. ;-D

Life is too short. If you're going to lose your shit every time she meets someone they played with, it will be a miserable existence. I would leave her to someone that is much more open minded. There are plenty of potential life partners out there more suitable for you.

I haven't done a handjob to completion (ejaculation) since high school. That's me, and true for any guy I play with. If a man is trying for his second or third O and having difficulty, I get him on his back and mount him. My pussy and moves usually do it. More often in encore circumstances, the problem is getting and keeping it up. My secret weapon then is my mouth. No erection needed, but usually it creates one.

We had our first MMF in College before getting married.

For my wife, like couplers she could vary the amount of time. The usual minimum was around ten minutes of either oral sex or intercourse. Yes, she was able to orgasm when a guy went down on her, in fact she almost always had her first orgasm of the session that way. I've sometime seen her have as many as six to ten orgasms in one go round with one guy. She could easily bring herself off by using her fingers and certainly with a dildo. But . . . . it didn't come naturally. She told me that when she was in college, even before she lost her virginity, she learned to masturbate. It took her a lot of time, a couple of years, until she got her masters in the subject. She said she practiced three or four times a week, and talked about it with a couple of her girlfriends and a professor's wife she made friends with - they gave her all kinds of invaluable tips. By the time I met her twelve years after that, she could make herself come by masturbation in just a couple of minutes. She told me once that the reason she usually didn't come as quickly with a guy is that she could concentrate only on herself when masturbating. But with a guy - particularly a new guy - she had to find a rhythm and connection with him, as well as being distracted by her surroundings. She also told me in her fifties that the orgasms weren't the objective but shared pleasure with the guy (especially including me) was what she was aiming for. The only times (very few of them) she didn't orgasm was when she was either feeling physical discomfort, or the guy wasn't willing to spend time pleasuring her.

As you two know, we're the same way. Just don't have the amount of free time as we'd like to go out often so we take advantage when we actually can arrange a night out. To the OP, if the vibe wasn't right on the first meet, why do you think it would be different the second time? If you have the opportunity to meet up again, it wouldn't hurt. For us it isn't worth the time and money to go out with a couple if the vibe wasn't right. The way you wrote about it, I don't understand how you think it would be better on a second meet. And we've found the 4-way match is very difficult to get. Our approach is 'are they attractive?'...'are they relatively fun to be around?'...let's get naked. I don't want to hear about their lousy job. I don't want to hear about their politics. I don't want to hear how the woman doesn't like her thighs/boobs/whatever. I want some laughs during dinner. I want general flirting, smiling...just fun. If they're uptight, the naked time will likely be awkward. Again, we want to have fun. Naked fun.

I'm not that into it but I did it in our little playgroup last Friday night bc one of the wives really wanted DP. I much prefer vaginas but it was a dirty job and somebody had to do it.

We are constantly talking on the phone trying to plan our next time. Our talk is very educational to me and at time very sexual because I ask too many questions. They are way more experienced in swinging so I ask her my crazy questions. I told her I post on this Swingersboard most people have been so nice and give advice that helps. The nice thing about her is she is my age and sees things like I do. She also understands my bisexual feelings and my fears. She told me about the men and their penises, actually their cocks. I asked her about the uncircumcised ones, she says she has only seen a few. I didn’t know it started as a religious thing. We talked about shapes and sizes she sees, she put in perspective that most people are the same but different. That makes sense to me. I admitted that I saw penises before I was married but only my own vagina or pussy. Now I’m learning how others look and how to explore. She thinks I worry too much. I think we are getting along.

When i was in college i was sorta dating a girl and one night in a college bar my friend told me she was there with another guy and when i found her she was making out with him. Holy shit that turned me on like crazy. She saw me too and was apologetic but i told her not to worry it was fine. Somehow when she heard me say that she turned her attention back to me and we went back to her place and fucked all night. Ever since then i have encouraged every girl i dated to engage in this game - mostly unsuccessfully. As for me i'm just wired that way. It drives me wild seeing my woman flirt and make out with others and 10x moreso if they actually fuck. And from my experience the "Bar Pickup Game" drives the ladies wild as well. It's a win/win/win 😁

Why would you need lube to give a woman oral?

I see nothing incompatible between Christianity and the lifestyle. It is consensual and brings happiness using our bodies in the way they were designed and intended.

The suggestion by @njbm that you go to a club is a good one. VHS porn pretty much killed the adult theater, including the one on Route 9 in Sayreville, NJ. There are only a handful remaining, almost none to my knowledge in the Northeast. And in turn the internet killed VHS and DVD porn. It’s all right there on the internet now. (My wife and I do have DVDs of some ‘70s favorites like “Behind the Green Door" and "The Devil in Miss Jones". I even have a bootleg copy of "Deep Throat" though the quality is terrible.) Back in the early 1980s my then wife liked going to that theater in Sayreville, not to pick up sex partners but just because she loved both written and visual porn and erotica. It was a 20 minute drive home and she was about tearing her clothes off as we hustled through the front door. (Earlier in our relationship I’d have just jerked her off in the car. 😂) We continued to live nearby each other after we split in the late ‘80s. We had an independent video store in our town and it had a curtained off area for porn tapes. One evening I was in the front part of the store, browsing regular titles when her knew husband came out of the back, clutching three or four porn tapes. He shrugged and rolled his eyes. He assumed I was familiar with her tastes and not surprised by the tapes he was carrying.

LOL...for the first time they don't have to be great to be memorable, just have to be done! When I was that age, I would corn hole a goat if he stood still.

I give her credit for being open, honest, and prompt. Not trying to win you then disclosing her sexual preferences.

The first penis, first sex was a handjob I gave a boy I liked. I didn’t know what exactly to do so with help of his hand he came all over the place. Wanting him to like me and wanting to stay a virgin I continued giving him handjobs. Resting my head on his belly I learned what he liked and we would laugh after the mess we made. Somewhere I graduated to blowjobs, I vividly remember my first blowjob know all the signs of what was about to happen. I didn’t think men want handjobs now except as part of a blowjob or when they masturbate. I need others to tell me if the men just want that.

Nice, but the perspective can be strange.

We're with you, although we frame the questions slightly differently. When we meet a (new to us) couple, there are four questions we ask ourselves... 1. Does this couple seem like a couple? Are they on the same page? Do we sense that they are here together and to have fun? 2. Is there activity between the ears? (Maybe we're selective, but that 4-way connection involves that laughter during dinner and that in turn means that the cerebral cortex has to work. ) Can they talk about things other than weather and sports? 3. Do they treat others well? That dinner you mentioned usually involves (anonymous) waitstaff. Are they kind to others? 4. Can we see ourselves naked in the hot tub with them? This is our version of "are they attractive?" that you mentioned. All of that seems pretty simple, even "low bar". Surprising (to us at least) it is neither simple nor an easy bar to clear.

No question that 4-way matches are elusive. They begin with strong matches within each couple. Next, they require interest by all parties in finding a 4 way match. Finally there has to be luck. Thinking back on our (individual, before we met) dating experiences, it took a long time to find pairings that were at least interesting, longer still to find ones that would last beyond 2 dates, and ultimately a very long time to find each other. While it is true that swinger dating comes with no expectations beyond pleasant time together, there still has to be pairing. Moreover, there has to be complementary pairing (two pairs). Those are long-but-not-impossible odds. It's for precisely this reason that we...and maybe others...regard those great 2+2 pairings as exceptional and worth holding on to.

I haven't specifically placed cum on my penis and then put it in my wife or a woman I've been playing with. But, I have had sex many times with my wife (and a few times with another woman) after another man has cum inside of her. I find it incredibly sexy. I love adding my own cum to another man's cum inside of my wife, and she loves it too.

I was a virgin bride too. Pain, blood, we got it done. I was afraid of the pain but waited my whole life for the moment. No orgasm from me, I still loved it. Perfectly said. Remember all those firsts too. Pretty sure that was the same here with my husband watching and the wife and him busy. What I remember was they had accents, not from the USA. He also was different in penis was the first I ever saw uncircumcised. My husband insisted that I go first. He later said he wanted to make sure I didn’t back out if he did it and I would be mad at him. Before doing anything I told them I squirted, I said I peed sometimes, they corrected me. The last thing he did before penetration was some very good oral and then he lifted my legs onto his shoulders and in he went. Pretty sure I closed my eyes, it was different only because he was different. I concentrated not to pee/squirt, maybe that took my mind off of what we did. Timmy said I moaned and looked like I orgasmed, I didn't think I did but I enjoyed. I eventually did and I eventually squirted. I eventually also did other firsts with them. Too bad we’ll never see them again.

...and how many got screwed by men while their significant other watched 😁